In an era where personal development often centres around doing more, achieving more, and learning more, bestselling author and leadership expert Dr Ryan Gottfredson offers a compelling alternative. In a recent podcast episode with host Agi Keramidas, Ryan returns after five years to expand on a topic thatβs at the heart of true personal transformation: shifting from doing better to being better.
The conversation begins with a powerful reminder. We often measure growth by what we achieve, the goals we tick off, and the skills we add to our repertoire. But what if the real transformation happens not in the tasks we complete, but in how we evolve as human beings? This episode challenges listeners to rethink the foundations of their personal and professional development.
What is the Difference Between Doing and Being?
Ryan introduces the concept of two sides of the self: the doing side and the being side. The doing side encompasses our talents, knowledge, skills, and competencies. These are the areas most of us focus on when we seek to improve ourselves. In contrast, the being side includes our character, psyche, mindsets, level of consciousness, and emotional regulation.
To illustrate this, Ryan points to several high-achieving individuals who have reached the pinnacle of success in their fields yet have experienced significant controversy. Their issues did not stem from a lack of talent or skill, but from challenges on the being side. This highlights the idea that doing better is not enough if the being side is neglected.
The Hidden Cost of Stagnation
One of the most compelling parts of the episode is when Ryan recounts a coaching experience with a highly qualified professional who had not progressed in her career for over a decade. Despite accumulating degrees and certifications, she remained stagnant. Why? Her focus was solely on adding tools to her toolbox. She had neglected her being side, which was filled with fear, insecurity, and reactivity.
This story is a cautionary tale for anyone who feels stuck despite putting in the effort. It underscores the importance of self-awareness and internal transformation. When we address the being side, we unlock the capacity to move forward with intention, resilience, and clarity.
Vertical vs. Horizontal Development
To deepen the understanding, Ryan introduces two forms of personal growth: horizontal and vertical development. Horizontal development is what most people are familiar with. It involves acquiring new skills and knowledge. Vertical development, however, is about upgrading the person using those skills. It involves elevating our internal operating system so that we function at a higher level of consciousness and effectiveness.
Ryan explains that vertical development is what leads to lasting, transformational change. Itβs not about doing more but becoming more. This form of growth requires self-awareness, a willingness to face discomfort, and often, deep inner work.
Practical Steps to Becoming Better
Ryan offers a three-step process for vertical development. First, recognise that you have a being side and begin to understand it. Second, assess where you are in terms of your emotional resilience, mindset, and reactivity. Third, engage in practices that elevate your being.
These practices can be approached at different levels. Surface-level strategies include meditation, breathing exercises, and self-affirmations. Deeper strategies involve working on your mindsets and reprogramming your internal narratives. At the deepest level, it may involve trauma healing, therapy, or even alternative approaches like neurofeedback or psychedelic-assisted therapy.
Why Self-Awareness is Foundational
A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the role of self-awareness. Without it, even the most diligent development efforts can be misdirected. Self-awareness allows us to observe our automatic patterns, challenge our limiting beliefs, and step outside of our reactive tendencies.
Ryan references research showing that while 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware, only 10 to 15 percent actually are. The difference lies in understanding not just what we do, but why we do it. This kind of insight comes from tuning into the being side.
Professional Impact of Inner Work
Although the conversation is deeply personal, the professional implications are clear. As Ryan explains, individuals who work on their being side become more proactive, intentional, and confident. They shift from self-protection to value creation, a transformation that elevates their leadership, decision-making, and overall impact.
This episode is a compelling reminder that true growth is not just about learning new strategies or setting bigger goals. Itβs about becoming a more integrated, self-aware, and elevated version of ourselves.
For the full episode, show notes, and links, click here.
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