What if the life you've carefully built doesn't actually fit who you are?
A moment from the podcast archive that I felt deserved to be heard again.
Today, my guest Rebeccah Silence, award-winning author, coach, and emotional healing expert, talks about the difference between surviving your life and living in alignment with who you truly are, and why you don't need a breakdown to break through.
Press play to learn why high-functioning unhappiness is so common, how we create a survival self as early as age four, and why alignment is not a threat, but a liberation.
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VALUABLE RESOURCES:
Listen to the full conversation with Rebeccah Silence in episode #446:
https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/446
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Coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor
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ποΈ Want to be a guest on Personal Development Mastery?
Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery
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Personal development podcast for midlife professionals, offering actionable insights for personal growth, mindset tips, self mastery and purposeful living.
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A personal development podcast for midlife professionals, offering mindset tips and practical tools for personal growth, self mastery, personal mastery, and purposeful living. Discover psychology tips for emotional intelligence and growth mindset, including overcoming impostor syndrome and building self mastery.
Personal Development Mastery features personal development interviews and solo episodes empowering professionals, entrepreneurs, and seekers to cultivate self mastery and create a meaningful, fulfilling life aligned with who they truly are.
[Agi Keramidas]
Welcome to Personal Development Mastery Podcast. This is another snippet of wisdom, a moment from the podcast archive that I felt deserved to be heard again.
[Rebeccah Silence]
Here's how I describe it, Agi. So my definition of healing is freedom. What I mean by that is, you don't need anything to be different than it was or is for you to really be okay and your best, right?
When you're free, nothing needs to be different. And it doesn't mean that someone didn't hurt you or that there wasn't a diagnosis or that there wasn't a wound or a life circumstance that was devastating. But I can get to the place where I don't need anything to be different for me to be me and for me to fit in with me.
So the way I look at it is, this isn't easy, but it is simple. We have survival or we have alignment. And when we're surviving our way through our lives, we are being someone who's trying to fit in to circumstance and to life and to other people's agendas.
Survival is me not being me. It's me being who I think I need to be to manipulate outcomes and to just get by. And we're not here to just get by.
The biggest problem I solve for people is helping them heal through what I call high-functioning unhappiness, where they're achieving and they're successful on paper, but inside something isn't right. We're not fitting in with ourselves yet. We're unfulfilled.
We're dissatisfied. And we create our survival self really as early as age four. It's between ages four and seven that we decide who we need to be to fit into our family system.
And then we don't even realize we're still pretending that's who we are. So alignment is very different. Alignment is you fitting in with you, you starting every decision, every moment from the place of, what do I need?
What do I want? How do I feel? What's my agenda?
What's my intention? What's my vision? And who do I need to be to create it?
So one of the things I love to say is if you can survive survival, you can survive alignment. And the reason we stay in survival is because we truly know we can survive. We don't know we can survive alignment.
And what I want to reassure people is that the only thing that happens when you're connected to the truth of who you are and to your power is you get a ton of information. People show you who they are. When you're real with pure intention, you're not wanting alignment because you want to do harm.
You're not wanting alignment because you're selfish and you don't care about others. If you're listening to a show like this, you want alignment so you can be even better for people, right? The point of alignment is you healed making a healed difference.
I want to make that very clear. It's not just you all about you, but if you're not taken care of, you will burn out. You will get sick.
And I don't say that to scare anybody. I'm just saying you don't need a breakdown to break through. You don't need to wait for things to get worse to decide alignment, a life that fits in with me.
Me being honest and transparent and real with myself and others is always correct. And then the last thing I'll say about this is I don't want you stressed out if you're listening to me right now and you're thinking, I don't know who I am, Rebecca. This sounds great in theory, but I don't know what's aligned for me.
It's so common for people to not know what's aligned. And so what I want to normalize, and I work with clients on this every single day, thousands of clients in my private practice have learned the art of graduating themselves from achievement to alignment with the understanding that there's no threat. There's nothing to fear.
We're not trying to threaten the high functioning part of your life, but we have to threaten the misalignment and the unhappiness if you're really going to be free. And just one more time for your nervous system. You don't need a breakdown to break through.
And if you can survive survival, you can absolutely survive alignment.
[Agi Keramidas]
If you enjoy this podcast, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them? Until next time, stand out, don't fit in.
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