#170 Law of attraction, interrupting auto-pilot behaviour, brain rewiring, and mental rehearsal, with Bob Doyle.

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Episode Transcript

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Agi Keramidas  0:02  
Welcome to the personal development mastery podcast. I am Agi Keramidas and my mission is to inspire you to grow, stand out and take action towards the next level of your life. I interview leaders, authors, successful entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life. Tune in for two episodes each week and make sure you subscribe to get them as soon as they are used. In today's show, I am delighted and privileged to speak with Bob Doyle. Bob, you are best known for your contribution in the film and book the secret. As a future law of attraction expert and coach. You have been teaching these principles for over two decades now. And your work is focused on helping people decide who they want to be, and how they want to express themselves. You are an author, a serial entrepreneur with diverse background and the prolific video content creators through their Bob Doyle show. Recently, your attention and coaching has shifted from the metaphysical aspects of the law of attraction to a more grounded, look at that thing that controls our experience our brain, and specifically our ability to rewire our brain so we can literally become the person who creates the results we want in our life. But it's a real pleasure to have you with me today.

Bob Doyle  1:38  
Thanks, I'm honoured to be here.

Agi Keramidas  1:39  
There are many things I want to discuss. But I would like to start with some elements of your story of your journey. And as I was telling you just before we started recording, many people probably know you from the secret. But there is some very intriguing facets of your story that have not necessarily something to do with the sacred soul. While I was looking around, I found three points and all. So I would like to make three brief stops in your history just to set the tone for the conversation. And the first one is back in 2002. When you quit the corporate job that you had, which you say that you hated it was giving you good income, but your spirit was dying. That was the phrase you you use, then you quit and that led to uncomfortable financial situation. So can you take up take us back there? And specifically, I would like to ask two things about that time. One is what tipped the scale towards your quitting even though you didn't have a financial plan from what I understand. And second, what was the biggest lesson you learned from that transition?

Bob Doyle  3:02  
Okay, well, the tipping point boy, it was a slow I it takes me forever to learn a lesson man. And, and I was in that job for way too, like I was there for four years, three of them, I didn't need to be there. Because when I first joined the company, it was it was I thought it was going to be a more creative endeavour. And then they shifted their whole focus into a completely different area. And then I was being asked to do things that I didn't, I never signed up for. And so you know, you go in every day, and it just sucks your soul because that's a lot of time eight, nine hours out of your life committed to something that you do not enjoy. And especially if you are like me who I started my career in, I wanted to be in broadcasting. So I was all about creative self expression and doing voices and being funny, and you know, that kind of thing. That's what I wanted to do. And then I did that for a few years and seven years in radio. And but then when I got to the point where I was in a bigger market, and I couldn't, I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I had to like, you know, spend many years in the industry to earn my way to that. I just I just kind of bailed and said, Well, this isn't what I thought it was gonna be. So my whole my point there is that I've just been searching for something to express myself creatively. And that job was the opposite of that there was no ability for me to express myself creatively. And it was really impacting just the quality of my life. You know, certainly I would there was some depression and just feelings of sort of hopelessness and being feeling trapped, you know, feeling trapped in the job but I think what happened was they started doing a bunch of layoffs and I was like, okay, lay me off, let's get some severance. And they they told me no, we just see something in you. We don't want to let you go and I was like, Alright, you know, whatever. So so I had some I had like a vacation coming. I went on vacation and during that time, I just sort of did some soul searching and said, You know, I'm out of here. And I didn't know what I was going to do. And the soap but the tipping point was just I just can't go in another day I will find something I had developed an interest in This conversation sort of you know, reality creation I'd always had sort of a fascination with it way way back in the background I felt like there was something for me there and I just decided at that point well I'm just going to I'm just going to get this I'm going to I'm going to learn this and I'm going to teach it that's what I'm going to do I'm going to be a speaker for a short time that was like my goal was just to be a speaker so anyway, that was the tipping point just absolute misery and and it was I just felt like I'd rather go through the suffering then then just keep showing up here every day because I just wasn't ever going to I could justify keeping the job a million different ways leaving was on the outside very irresponsible looking. But it was the best thing I ever did. And then the lessons Yes. The most valuable lesson well you know, it's interesting because it would be easy for me to go like well I learned I should have moved on sooner or I learned I but everything's perfect. You know exactly how it happened is how it needed to happen for the story to be the story and for it to impact every part you know of my development I mean, if I had quit earlier the secret may have never happened for me you know, it's it's just like you just have to trust and go Okay, well that was just a part of my journey and so I think retro in retrospect one of the biggest lessons I've learned in general is that you know, looking through the lens of what if this is for me what if what is happening is for me, and not to me or whatever, like everything even though we can't understand why it's it's for you it's in your best interest so I think that's just a general lesson I've learned from everything and it's something I have to keep reminding myself when stuff comes up and go What is this about?

Agi Keramidas  6:41  
Thank you and indeed at that time when it happens it doesn't seem to be a lesson but in retrospect as you said to you your see what how an event grows ashore allows us to expand and sell we go to the second brief stop then in your journey which is 2006 and release of the sacred and just one brief question Really? How did the secret impact your life

Bob Doyle  7:13  
mostly front? Well, I guess a lot of ways because I've been teaching the law of attraction already for three years when the secret came out. And it was a much different landscape out there in the personal development world and not you know, in comparison not that many people were familiar with the law of attraction It was kind of the reason the film was made was to introduce people so my life changed though in two two ways, but most mostly, sort of professionally. I did everything I did to get to the point where I was invited to be on the secret my way my voice my everything my ideas you know, just Bob being Bob. And after the secret came out, I felt like this was a huge lesson for me I felt like there was a different set of expectations on me now. Like I had to be like jack Canfield and Bob Proctor and all those guys who've been in the industry for 30 years I've been at three right so I felt like I had to sort of compromise like this silly aspect of me or just that that part this little left of centre because now I there was this worldwide expectation that I was this Bob Doyle from the secret that label followed me around as well to this day, but I mean Bob dwell from the secret it's like well, what about Bob Doyle? The voiceover guy? What about Bob Doyle the ukulele player What about Bob well the broadcast What about Bob you know all of the voiceover guy you know and it was just like after a while I felt like a little resentful that I couldn't just be me and I felt wedged into the now by the way this was all in my head. I mean, I think I had one comment from one person that made me go down that road and but the rest of it was just all my my stuff but then that but once live streaming in any form first with Periscope and then you know several other platforms Facebook and so on. Once live streaming came that changed everything for me because I was then able to that broadcaster and me was able to come back and do things in creative ways and communicate in real time with people I think I had been you know I've been throwing information one way out for years I keeping the secret was a one way conversation but doing live streams and there's a person right there who you can talk to that really allowed me to find who am I in this conversation and how do I want to who do I want to be with people and all of that so the secret really forced me to to really get clear about who I want it to be out in the world and and it just like quitting my job like I feel like I waited a really long time to break out of that barbed wire from the secret thing but once I did you know, I kind of did it with a vengeance. And now I'm just out there all over the place doing whatever I want to do. You know, while you know my attempt, of course, is to keep this this conversation the the personal development, let me really help you with your life conversation at least segmented enough so that people understand that no, I really I can help you even though I also do all these other crazy things

Agi Keramidas  10:05  
that are part of you and that the creative expression of uses part of who you are. So thank you for that setting that realisation and it's not something that I would have thought the way you said it. Let me then move a bit more forward to this time and really go into what we're about to talk today. And that was that shift recently, away from the law of attraction to neuroplasticity, brain rewiring. So what was the was that any trigger for that? Was there any?

Bob Doyle  10:43  
There there kind of was a trigger? Yes. And oddly enough, it was rereading the science of getting rich by Wallace D wattles book from 100 years ago. Now, they don't talk about brain rewiring or neuroplasticity. But they very clearly talked about the importance of being the person you need to be so that the so that you can attract these things. Again, that's not that they weren't using the same words that we've sort of used in there. But in terms of creating our experience, it was very, was very clear that we needed to be right, we needed to be that person who was going who was consistent with getting these results. Now after having coached and taught and spoken and all of those things on the law of attraction. You know, my frustration with it is that, and part of this, I think might be a little bit due to the secret. But there was this whole Magical Thinking thing that happened, like people just figured there was a genie in the movie. So that didn't help. But the idea that all we have to do is just think this or just put this on a vision board or whatever. And and they got so caught up with all these techniques, because once the secret came out now everybody was all of a sudden a law of attraction expert, everybody in personal development and internet marketing, was putting out products about how to make the law of attraction work. So right there, you've already broken, what's true, if you don't make it work, it's working. So from the beginning people's mindset on what the law of attraction is, was just wrong. And so they had all kinds of expectations on it. And so my career became about trying to explain the ins and outs of the law of attraction and answering ridiculous questions that have nothing to do with a person's personal transformation. So when I realised a couple of years ago about this being how important it is to be, there was just a sequence of thoughts in my mind that was like, Well, what determines that? You know, what determines who we're being? Well, when it comes down to it, it's the wiring of our brain, our wiring? The question or the statement I'm putting out there for people or the question is, when is reality really created? And when a law of attraction person might say, Well, when I put it on my vision board, when I first conceptualise it, and I'm saying reality is created in the moment that you give that moment meaning like this, your reality is what you decided is in that moment, is it good? Is it bad? Are you feeling abundant? Are you feeling lack? Are you feeling loved all of it, that's your experience of reality, and every bit of that is determined by the meaning that you're giving the moment? And what determines the meaning is your wiring how you've been literally programmed over the course of time. And so when I realised, yeah, this is the direct way, our brains changed, our brains can change, they change all the time. That's all you really need to know. You don't need to know vibration, and energy and resonance in any of it. All you need to know is okay, my brain can change what changes it? Well, it's consistent information on an ongoing basis, that's different than what you had before, is how we learn anything, learn a new language, learn to walk, all of which, by the way, came with discomfort, mistakes, feedback, right? That we had to adjust to get where we're going to go. But somehow when it comes to personal development, people are expecting and it's because of the way that it's marketed out there. Well, if it doesn't happen in seven to 14 days, this is obviously a scam. Right? Or, oh, this is uncomfortable. So I guess the universe doesn't want it for me that these are the types of thinking that I want no part of anymore because it just slows people down. They don't they're so hung up on. But what about this situation? I didn't attract, you know, it's like, okay, okay. Do you want to transform? Yes. How? You know, that's what we need to understand. Who do you need to be just like you said in the introduction, who do you need to be to attract or get or receive the results that you want in your life? When we decide when we determine who you're being now and how it's different from who you need to be to attract those things, then we can start to actually do the reprogramming of the brain but it's a it's a commitment.

Agi Keramidas  14:43  
Wow, you opened up now quite a few topics simultaneously. So one thing that make with what you said it was about the law of attraction being used as a as a tool in personal development, that I think that quite frequently the way it's presented, as you said it was marketed like this, and this is a big misunderstanding, do you want to expand a little bit more on that, like the tool of law of attraction versus what it actually is.

Bob Doyle  15:19  
So the the, the way I explained it is like, and people have used gravity before because they talk about well, law of attraction, just a law, like the law of gravity. And I understand that approach. But what I'm saying is we the So, you know, the law of attraction just is right, we don't turn it on, it just defined, it describes how energy behaves in the universe. But we don't have to understand all of that, just like we don't need to understand gravity to make a glass fall onto the ground, when we let go of it, we just let go, and gravity handles it. So we do that all, the only thing we need to do to make the glass hit the ground is let go of it, and then it hits the ground. So law of attractions, the same thing we don't need to know and get into the physics and try to interact with the outside world and make the universe do our thing. If we change who were being right, we just take on different behaviours based on what we have envisioned for ourselves so that we can get these results when we do that on a consistent basis. So that the so that the neural pathways in our brain can actually grow and hold, right, then we will literally become a new person, and that person is taking different action, and thus getting different results. So it's very practical, there's no woowoo about it. Now, having said all of that, the law of attraction is at work at all in all of that, in fact, it's working so much more efficiently, because you're not looking at it trying to figure it out. And deciding Well, if you know why isn't it fast enough? Why isn't you know, why is it you don't need to know all of that, all you need to do is be that person and go through the process of rewiring. Now the problem is, is that's really, really difficult. Because your whole life, you've wired yourself the way you are, and mostly unconsciously. So now that's, that's the truth. That's your truth. That is the lens through which you see the world. And if you want to experience a different truth, you have to change the lens. But that, again, that comes with the discomfort of new habits, new thought processes, new meaning, and getting rid of a lifetime of limiting stories, which is difficult because people identify with their stories. So they go well, if I don't have my story is that who I am I let's decide, let's figure that out. That's what this is about, you know, who do you want to be? And let's start being that and getting those results and really, truly change your life.

Agi Keramidas  17:44  
So we'll talk about being there because it all starts with being the person and you talked about you spoke about transformation and the difficulties of transformation. And I'm going to go deeper in into that in a moment. But let's concentrate for the moment on the B. So for many people, myself included the heaven the do are very easy to determine it's something tangible, it's easier to describe or to say the because it is an inner state, it's not as easy. So when you say to be that person? Can you explain that to me in more detail? How can you be first?

Bob Doyle  18:33  
Well, first, we have to notice what's not working for us, like what parts of our being are disempowering or feel limiting. So that way we get to become an observer. And this is the first step I tell everybody, because the first essential skill of any of this transformation is knowing when you're on autopilot. When your wiring is kicking in and causing you to be away, that's not going to get you where you want to go or take or not take action or make meaning that's disempowering or whatever. Learning to recognise that being conscious of it is the very first step and I have tools that help people you know, determine sort of what is their what is their likely propensity, what what trait in their personality is going to actually show up and probably stop them from moving forward. But it's all about that awareness. So when you but that's the first episode again, it's contrast, well, I know I don't want to be this. I don't want to be a person who responds this way. What might it look like in an ideal situation? How would I like to respond in this situation? If everything was, if I could respond in any way I wanted to with confidence and bolt or whatever it is, how would what would that be? And so this process, this is how we decide who we're going to be. And we can look to the world for inspiration and we can look for traits and people that are doing things similar or at least have some you know, bring you that you resonate with them and go what is it that they're doing that I'm not doing that I could be doing? You know, sometimes it's things like just being more integrity with your word or having you know more confidence or exercising or just, you know, there's these little things that you can shift in your being. But first you got to notice what isn't working. So one, but once you do that, then you have some choices.

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You spoke about the autopilot. And that's a it's a very fascinating concept. And my my question to you and I'm sure you hear that often is the thing the thing with the autopilot is that it takes over it hence the autopilot. So being able to detach from that, take a step back and realise that I am on the autopilot. I think that is a step. It is obviously the most important step because you become aware of the autopilot. Just how can you step back from the autopilot to observe the autopilot? If my question is yes,

Bob Doyle  22:32  
so you're training yourself to become aware. So it's literally a negative feeling or disempowering emotion is a trigger for you to basically say to yourself, this is not the truth, this is just my wiring. Okay, so now knowing that is one thing, but as you said, it's it's difficult to just shift that sometimes because there's a lot of biology that happens are when we make meaning out of a situation, are you we're flooded with all these hormones that give us this experience of emotion. And we're literally on on our own drugs. And so it's even another layer of challenge to rise above that and still be conscious and go, Wow, I'm on autopilot. Mentally. I'm on autopilot physically, right and i but i but I see that it's just my wiring. Now. If you haven't already decided how you'd like to be different in that situation, then it can be really challenging. But part of my process is working with people is on a daily basis, you're going to sort of look ahead that for things that you know are coming up, obviously there's going to be the surprises, but things that are coming up in your day where you think you might get triggered into an autopilot reaction, right? You'd like to in a similar situation, you you know, you get too quiet or you talk too much, or whatever it is. So you get to rehearse a different way of being ahead of time. This is the magic of our brain. See, we are definitely here to create our experience of reality our brain is just it's all about imagination and visualisation giving us the ability to take action. I mean, we are here to create reality there is no, there's just there's no argument. We're built with these passions and these interest in these, this drive to grow and expand just like the rest of the universe. The universe is ever expanding. We are a part of that universe. Therefore, if we don't expand, like if I'm in a dead end job and I'm feeling we feel it, because we're going against our very very nature, we're here to have these amazing experiences. So having that having a vision for yourself that inspires you. This is all important too. It can't be sort of lacklustre, this desire to change has to be as important and non negotiable as learning to walk or learning to talk or whatever it is that you know that this is non negotiable. So you have to make your vision, who you want to be and the results you're going to get and how happy all the feelings that come with it. That's got to become non negotiable that will help you in those moments. When you have the wire because you because you know This person cannot have what the future person is going to have. And it is not negotiable, I must have that. So I have to let go of this and I have to choose something else as difficult or tricky as it can be. Now, there, this is the reason that personal development has such a huge failure rate, because there can be great programmes out there and there are, you know, but if a person doesn't stick with any one thing long enough for the wiring to take hold, of course, there's not going to be any permanent transformation. And to think otherwise is, again, that magical thinking, it's completely unrealistic, we're driven by the wiring in our brain. And if we don't change it, if we don't change the behaviour long enough to make those neural pathways actually permanent, then of course, any old trigger is going to activate the decades of wiring we have and we're going to be swept right back up. So again, the awareness is, it gets easier, it gets easier with time, you've just noticed, oh, I'm upset. This is autopilot. And I've rehearsed a different way of being and now I'm going to do it. And then at the end of the day, part of our process is going back over your day and going okay, where did I maybe where could I have done better? How could I have been a little bit more congruent with the person I want to be, and not so autopilot, and then you get to rehearse that and run that and run that with all the feelings, and that and it's been proven time and time again, that these mental rehearsals have physical effects. You know, you hear about an athletics all the time, people just rehearsing their move their jump there, whatever it is, over and over and over again in their mind, and they're growing neural pathways that will that will actually show themselves in the physical, so that we're not the way that we're using our brain as a whole humanity is to worry about crap. Right? Think about things, think about our solve our problems. So we're not creating anything new. And we're not growing, we're stuck on this, or we're ruminating about the past, or we're worried about the future. And that is, of course going to determine the behaviour we take that we have in any of the action we take and thus the results we get. But if we fill our minds with this vision of the future, and empowerment of how we're being and how we're feeling and all of that, then our actions are the meaning we make out of things is much more likely to be in alignment with that instead of our old way and that's how our life changes.

Agi Keramidas  27:16  
Wow, this bump this rehearsal that you that you mentioned, is it the same or is it different than visualisation?

Bob Doyle  27:27  
It's visualisation. It is a visualisation exercise. Yeah, absolutely. I'm asking people to visualise at the beginning and end of each day. Basically their ideal selves inaction in situations where they know that they're normally challenged there that they these situations that they know are holding them back because they respond in a certain way, either physically out in the real world, or emotionally and it impacts the action they take towards results.

Agi Keramidas  27:53  
I get it and what you said earlier and I think that's very important is that it is a training that one shouldn't expect to visualise how the ideal reaction to an auto autopilot is and not go into autopilot. But it is a training and I would expect it to become easier and eventually crash yourself before you go into the the auto response.

Bob Doyle  28:22  
Absolutely. And the way the nature of this is and anyone listening can kind of check in with themselves on this and see if it isn't true. If in any way you doubt that you can change your being I promise you if you look back at yourself five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, there were probably some key ways of being that have changed some meaning that you make this different and you go How did I ever even think that way? or How could I have been a stand for that? or How did I justify that behaviour or whatever, like it's so completely foreign to you you can't even imagine how you thought that way or were that way but back then when you were wired it was the way it was the most logical obvious way doing the best you can kind of way to be this just shows you how rewiring can literally change the lens through which you see the world and certainly who you are.

Agi Keramidas  29:10  
And there was something that you said that I want I want to ask you to expand more on and that was that rewiring takes time takes consistency it's it's a process so can you tell me a bit more about that and if I can ask even though it's a general question when you say takes time, what do you mean how much time should one expect for a wiring process to

Bob Doyle  29:36  
complete so there's so many different things that have impact the the rewiring process even down to like you know, your nutrition and the state of your body. Again, this is all a biological things, we have to keep that in mind. So you know that the length of time is also determined by how high the emotion is, and how much you're going through all these filters. That's why I'm a huge proponent of breath, work, breath work, the way that you know the The practice that you know, I'm a part of, you get to this state where there's just no noise, you know, you you, you breathe, you breathe, and now you're in this deep, deep meditation and you're bypassing literally biologically, all of the stuff that stops you that has you evaluate and go, Oh, this could never happen for me or whatever, and you just get to, you just get to reprogram. So there are definitely ways to speed things up. If you have emotional, like sort of release tools, you know, for when you get that discomfort in these situations, or old emotions come up, if you don't have a tool to kind of move through that more efficiently, it's gonna take you longer. So again, you know, so I have this whole framework called the balance living challenge, which is we have all the tools we have all the daily stuff, we have all the processes, all of those things to make it more efficient. But again, this the one of the one of the dangers we get into with this whole conversation with the law of attraction is certainly applicable is this comparison. Well, how come they manifest it in a week, and I still I've been for years, and I still have my dream house, this whole thing, it's like, that's, that's because they're taking different action, they're being different than you stop trying to figure out what's what's on their vision board that isn't on yours, you know, or any of that stuff, or the universe doesn't want it for me, because it's taking so long. And all of this nonsense, this is these are ideas that have just been thrown out there into the, into the culture into this idea. I mean, if you get on like, I've had to remove myself from date, basically every law of attraction group on Facebook, because it's maddening to see what people are saying, and doing and asking and thinking and believing about it. They post all their inspirational quotes, and everybody feels great, but you get the sense that no one's really attracting anything they want. They just love talking about the law of attraction. And you know that and they're gonna love it a lot more if they see it working. And they're gonna love it a lot more, they see it working effortlessly. Right? This, this obsession with it is is I think that and that's just with anything, but the but again, the time it took us a while to learn to walk, it took us a while to learn our language, it takes time to grow. It's a biological process. So you can't expect it to happen necessarily overnight. Although there are some things that do cause like instant rewiring, there are people who, you know attribute like psychedelics and those types of experiences to rapid rewiring a highly, highly traumatic or hugely emotional experience, can can bypass a lot of stuff, too. So there is just there is no way to answer. How long will it take, you just have to expect that the process has to take so that when the neural pathways are there, then it just is effortless, just as effortless as your being who you're being right now. It's effortless, because you're wired that way you don't have to think about it, you just are. Now we want to change who we're being. So yeah, we got to think about it. Because the way most people go through is they just coast they let the situations determine who they're going to be or who they need to be. They don't take a proactive role in Who am I being what they do is they say how am I handling the situations as they come to me based on who I am right now. But if who I am right now, if that isn't if you're not getting the results you want, then, you know, you got to change who you're being a bit.

Agi Keramidas  33:11  
Absolutely. Did you want to tell me also about the you mentioned it already the discomfort that follows this transformation? And is that a sign of transformations? And if you feel that discomfort?

Bob Doyle  33:29  
Well, I do feel like it generally speaking, it means that you're up against your current wiring. So yes, it's the growth time when you get to that discomfort, you know, okay, now I've reached the limits of what's just easy and natural and effortless for me. So now I have to imagine something bigger, and it's going to trigger all the old stuff. So that's why you know, the discomfort comes up, you know, because as soon as you start to grow, your wiring is going No, no, no, that's not who you are, you're this remember and then shows you decades of evidence. But when you can realise that that is a programme. And it is not universally true for everybody. The guy down the street has a different lens they look through and so does this person is so does this person. So there's no one big truth. Everybody has their own. And if yours isn't serving you, you get to change it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and you're built to do it.

Agi Keramidas  34:17  
Is this related? I read somewhere you mentioned the term energetic comfort zone. Is that related to the energy Yeah, I

Bob Doyle  34:26  
mean, that's I guess that's just a way that I would would it fit for the law of attraction people who really love to think in terms of energy, you know, it's just like, it's one way or the other it's still a comfort zone. So you this energy of expansion or energy of abundance or whatever once you reach that you got a certain amount of it based on who you're being and once you again, it starts here though with the limits of the wiring. And then it broadcasts out it turns into you know, this energy or whatever, of the limiting thought.

Agi Keramidas  34:57  
Awesome. Let's say ask you something slightly different as well, you mentioned about self talk, that is the probably the biggest hindrance in our personal development or not achieving what we want to achieve. So I want you to tell me a bit more about the self talk and especially the subtleties of it. Because again, the self talk is similar to the autopilot, isn't it? It doesn't necessarily aren't aware of it, it happens

Bob Doyle  35:29  
completely unconsciously and automatically, and it's all driven by your wiring. So but again, that's just another thing that you want to be on the lookout for is any of the self talk that makes you feel less than or disempowered or whatever. So really, the only only trigger is I'm feeling bad. I don't feel good right now. So what's going on? You know, if you can just look at what why do I feel this way? Sometimes you won't be able to think about it in the moment, but it's something you can look at later. Like what triggered me. And sometimes it is just this ridiculously complex web of events and things people said and all the way back to childhood, right? It just, and it all happens in a moment. But again, the more you can spend forever thinking about that, or you can just go Yeah, that's some crazy wiring. Now I'm going to stop going there. And I'm going to go somewhere else. Because we tend to dwell, we get into our old we have our, our wired response, and then we just settle into that and go, Oh, yeah, I can't, I won't, and I shouldn't. And they said and right, and we just ruminate in it. And some people do it worse than others. And then worst case, if you're studying law of attraction, and you've got this fear of a negative thought, you know, then you go, Oh, I should know better than this. And now you start beating yourself up. Just because you responded to your autopilot wiring, it's the most natural thing in the world for you to go back down that old road, it's the most natural thing. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just Are you committed to changing that? Yes, great. So let's forget let's let's pre visualise how you want to be in this? What's the emotion? How do you really want to feel what does that look like? And let's just start trying that on. Let's start rehearsing that, and let's go through the discomfort that comes with the growth and we acknowledge all the noise, and we use our release techniques that we have for when that comes up. So we can glide through those with and not get so stuck. So it's it really is one of these, there's a billion people on the planet for a reason, we're here to support one another. And this whole idea that becoming who we need to be and getting the things we want in our life has to be a one man show or a one woman. It's It's ridiculous. And it causes problems. Because once you reach the limits of your resources, if you don't go outside, if you don't get coaching, if you don't get support, if you're not, you know, if you don't take on tools, or whatever, it's gonna be a freakin long road if you ever get it travelled at all. Because depending on how loud that that wired voices, the ego or whatever you want to call it. It's going to make sense. It's always going to sound from from where you're being logical and rational one day it won't. But right now it does, it seems reasonable to you, right? I can't do that. I don't have the time. I don't have the resources. I don't know enough people. There's a blah, blah, blah. And I tried and I failed. And so I guess that's it. Right? That's that's all autopilot nonsense. And if everybody thought that way, if that was the way that we should gauge whether it was difficult, or whether we made mistakes, we'd have nothing, we'd have no cameras, we'd have no phones, we'd have no we'd have nothing. We had, it's just like it. But it's a mindset, the general public, especially if they're in the personal development conversation, and especially if they've been it forever, and they're still not there. You know what I mean? It's like personal development. Yes, ongoing, but the study of it and the obsession with it. That's not what it's for. This is we're here hopefully to say to wake you up. Because it doesn't matter whether you're using the law of attraction to get personally transformed and attract the things you want. Whether it's hypnosis or any other programme or strategy or approach. If you get the result it is because your brain has changed. You've you have rewired yourself to be and think and do and make meaning differently than you did before. So whatever process if it's vision boards, that doesn't awesome if it's a Tony Robbins event, awesome. But it's not going to take unless you keep the messages going consistently and stop having and you have to let go of those old stories, I promise you that some people the most well intentioned people who can spout off all kinds of personal development stuff, but they're still stuck to their stories about how why they can't have this or, or Oh, woe is me because of and if you're not willing to let go of those old stories, then you then you're not willing to become because that new person isn't going to tell those stories. Because that person realises that if you tell those stories, you're never going to get the results you want. You're going to push away everything that's going to get them for you. So you have to be willing to let go the old stories, and it's mostly the emotional attachments, not like you're going to forget that these things happened, but they don't have to have domination over you.

Agi Keramidas  39:55  
Brilliant short. Let's say that someone listening to it now He is convinced and committed to start this transformation process of rewiring, I will mention some of the things that I got from what you said so far. And please add anything you feel it's important to, you know, take the initial steps in this transformation. So one one thing I remember clearly was what you said about rehearsal or visualising. You said, letting go of the old story. So you also said in the beginning the input that you get, which I suppose you mean, personal development books, or whatever else input empowering input? Are these. That's just what I got from what you said. But for those who wants to take the steps to the transformation and rewiring,

Bob Doyle  40:53  
yeah, so first of all, you have to be really present with your discomfort with what is because again, this, just a half assed approach to profound transformation is likely to be unsuccessful, because of your wiring, you'll just be more easily moved into the other, if it's not super inspiring that when it gets tough, or when it gets uncomfortable, you will rationalise not doing it. And that's just it. So that visualising piece of how great it is going to be when you are out there getting those results when you're able to navigate this or that situation with grace flow and ease and empowerment with a quiet confidence or whatever. How awesome is that going to be? What does it look like? What does it feel like? And how are people responding? You get to you get to imagine all of this, you know, you get to pre create all of this. But But yeah, so but then. But the critical step though, is at some point, you have to go from recognising that you're on autopilot to making a different choice. So the more you rehearse, and things like that, the more likely you are to do it.

Agi Keramidas  41:56  
I seem out of these actionable steps that you've mentioned already. If you were to give to the listener one something that you think it's more important, or the first maybe step to take, which one would you choose?

Bob Doyle  42:13  
It's the noticing your autopilot response, because even the more you do it, like at first you can say it first the first time you notice that you can just say yep, that's me an autopilot. No, probably just go do whatever, you know, you're gonna do anyway. But the more you catch yourself, and the more you realise and tell yourself, this is just wiring, it's going to be some of the emotional connection, the depth of the emotional, the negative emotional responses in that situation will die off. Because you're really reinforcing over and over that this isn't truth, I don't need to be upset about this. I my my wiring wants to be upset about this. But but I'm not going to go there. And the more that you said the more that you noticed, the more that you're able to be a little bit more, you know, detached from the emotion of it because you're seeing that wow, I'm basically just kind of a robot here until I make a conscious choice to be something that overrides this autopilot. Because if you think about the whole concept of freewill it's dicey because we are on autopilot for the most part. Our brain is you know, even when we think we're making a decision, that's freewill, what's driving that decision? Why are we making that decision? What series of events happened that made us come to that decision that this is what we want or whatever. And sometimes the decisions that we make the things that we say that we want, aren't really like as empowering or awesome as they could be. They're just driven by our autopilot wiring. Do you understand what I'm saying? So there's like so many actions and things that we do in our lives that we feel like we're just making a free choice, but but we're not really it's like given our wiring This is the only thing we we could do. Now to get true will. That starts with that awareness and you go Wait a minute, this this behaviour I'm going to take I'm I'm like, I'm being robotic right now, I'm not being this isn't conscious, really. It's uncut. It feels conscious. But it's not it's based on this dis autopilot stuff, when you can override that, and supersede that will that that freewill that's based on whatever with what you truly want, like what this future person would want. Now you've got true will, and that's where it really, that's where the magic really happens. That's when you really come to your life and start to design it, rather than just sort of, you know, coasting through it based on what comes at you.

Agi Keramidas  44:32  
That's absolutely fascinating topic, the freewill and how we make our decisions and whether we actually make the decision go

Unknown Speaker  44:41  
deep on that.

Agi Keramidas  44:45  
Absolutely, and I wanted to share a bit of my experience with what you were saying about the auto pilots because I think I am improving personally catching myself every now and sometimes that I done it. I started laughing because I realised that a programme is activated and I'm starting going down the behaviour, a pattern of behaviour, which is, which only leads to bad situations. And I got it like maybe five seconds after it had started and I stopped. And actually I was with my partner and we joked about it, because I saw the autopilot and stopped it. So it was it's, it's fantastic when it happens, because you have more real opportunities to be who you want to be rather than Yeah, that'll boot as you say.

Bob Doyle  45:38  
Because when people people can go down such dark roads on autopilot, and, and stay there for days or weeks or years. Yeah. And they don't have to, it's just a decision. But the decision feels so counterintuitive to their current wiring that they just can't bring themselves to do it. But that's why you got to have support, you got to have a different set of eyes, you got to have somebody who can see what you can't see it's imperative, because again, you're looking at the world through your lens, you you can't help it, but see it the way that it is, you know that you're programmed to see it. But knowing that there is another way is key. That way you can accept input from the outside and refrain from the outside. Because if you're not, if you go, this is the truth, you're just going to reject everything that comes to you in the way of, you know, oh yeah, that'd be great. But this is the way it is. Right? But that's so again, you have to be willing to understand how autopilot wired you are, and be willing to accept coaching or feedback or you know, a bigger picture in there, even though your wiring is going to resist it. So again, this is transformation is a big deal. We're talking about changing yourself intentionally. So we transform throughout our lives on autopilot, and we're not you know, without thinking about a person who's not even in personal development, we're changing our whole lives, what we're about is waking up and going, No, I want rapid change, I want to fish I don't want another 40 years to go before I change who I am. If my brain is plastic, and I can change it. Let's get into it. Let's start it. Let's start this process now. And I'm willing to go through the discomfort I'm willing to go through the that may feel like I'm willing to listen to my friends and family tell me that I'm crazy or whatever. Because the vision I have is so non negotiable is strong and inspiring to me that it doesn't matter what these people say. When you elevate your vision, when you elevate who you're being, there's no guarantee that people around you are going to be on board. In fact, they're probably going to resist, you've everybody there is there appropriately based on who you've been being started being something else a all bets are off. We allow ourselves to be guided by their input, their opinions, that's all them. And that's what people need to understand. Even if they're talking about you. That's them. That's their interpretation about you based on their wiring, their experience, their limiting beliefs and the whole thing. So you got to be very careful about input from the outside if it does not empower you.

Agi Keramidas  48:09  
Absolutely, thank you for that answer. And Bob a fan. Let me ask you a couple of hypothetical questions as well if you were to go back and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give him? Choose wisely?

Bob Doyle  48:23  
I always that's like my biggest thing choose wisely. We make choices, our whole lives that impact the rest of it. And if but here's the thing about telling an 18 year old something like that. I mean, that's the thing. They're not that I signalled going in when in and in one ear and out the other because they know everything, right? They know everything. And what you have to say is ridiculously irrelevant to them. So even if I showed up in front of me and said no, seriously, choose wisely. But But again, it endangers what happened right if I went back in time and told my friend or my friend myself for herself to choose wisely, and I made all these different decisions we probably wouldn't be sitting here today you know and so it's it's just one of those things I think one advice piece of advice but again, I think it shapes where I am today is like so much suffering is optional. like things are just how they are and so many times they're just going to turn out how we're going to turn out whether or not you suffered over it worried about it got scared about it got angry, but like all this, this negative emotion that people the translates into suffering about things that they don't have any control over anyway. So I think you know, I think I know I know, I suffered a lot in my life unnecessarily because I didn't know I didn't have to give right, it's just again, you just learn. This is the thing. We as individuals learn differently about appropriate emotional responses, like how long to be angry at somebody how long to hold a grudge. Do you forgive somebody for this or do you never, you know all of these things, but they're still just learned.

Agi Keramidas  50:07  
And let's say you could wave a magic wand and change something in the world as it is today, what would you change?

Bob Doyle  50:13  
I would like for people to really understand that there is no one truth. Like if people could be more compassionate and understand that the reason that people are how they are is because for the most part, they were unconsciously wired that way, and have some compassion. You don't have to agree with them or any of that. But just to understand that everybody's really kind of doing the best they can, even if they're a real freakin jerk. Because something led them down the path of being that way, being angry, being bitter, being mean, being a whatever, you know, but if you can understand that, this that our truth is strictly that our truth that people if I could just wave that one where people could see that, I think that would be the beginning of some pretty massive change.

Agi Keramidas  50:59  
Thank you. And how can people connect with you? Where would you direct them to find out more about you?

Bob Doyle  51:05  
So one of the first there's lots of ways I mean, as you discovered, I'm pretty easy to find out there. But But one of the things in relation to our conversation here and change. I think that a lot of people have problems note, you know, that first step is recognising their own autopilot responses, because it all just feels like truth. So one of the things that I have done as part of this new work is to create this transformation personality type quiz. And these types are your regular ones, I made them up and I'm very open about that. But it's based on behavioural traits that I've seen in people that stopped them from finishing the rewiring process, so that the quiz itself is free and it takes like 60 seconds, but that if you take the quiz, you will understand what personality transformation personality type you are. And what it will show you is the behaviours that are probably in you that are stopping you. The things that show up in your life that when you are on the quest for transformation are generally the things that probably stop you or rationalise, you know, non completion becoming aware of that ahead of time again, that's like a it's a hack. Now you know, it's it's easier for you to recognise Oh yeah, I'm, I'm a people pleaser type. And I'm doing it right now with this person, I am sacrificing myself or what I want or what I think is important for the comfort of this person. You know, but sometimes if you don't know that this is just sort of your propensity if this isn't your type, then you know you just again you're just seeing this as this, this is the truth. So if they go to TPT quiz calm for transformation personality type TPTquiz.com. Like I said, it's free 60 seconds, but it will give you some valuable information and specific things to do as that particular type that are, you know, likely to help you in that recognition and making different choices when the time when the time comes.

Agi Keramidas  53:00  
So many testimony to that test, because I took it and I realised that I was labelled the seeker and I realised that yes, it is that person that doesn't hold the traction long enough. And something more interesting or promising gets there tends to show it is a

Bob Doyle  53:21  
record type is by far the number one secret type is is foreign beyond the other types. But you know, there's a lot of people pleasers out there too.

Agi Keramidas  53:32  
That's great. Both I want to thank you very much for your time and sharing your expertise and your wisdom. With me today. I want to wish you all the very best and keep on impacting the world with your work. And any last parting words?

Bob Doyle  53:49  
No for I appreciate the conversation and the chance to share this with your audience. And I just really just invite everybody to just today, just just today. Take on noticing when you go into autopilot. And for extra points, see if you can choose a different behaviour that's more in alignment with the person that you truly want to be.

Agi Keramidas  54:13  
Hope you enjoyed listening. If you have please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to know more about what I do, visit my website AGIKERAMIDAS.COM. And until next time, stand out don't fit in!