#497 From repeating patterns to emotional intelligence and self-mastery. (Personal development wisdom snippets)

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Please note that while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present.

Agi Keramidas:
0:01

Welcome to Personal Development mastery podcast, and this is another snippet of wisdom where I select my favourite and most insightful moments from previous episodes. Today's snippet comes from my guest, Christine Jewell, who talks about breaking free from repetitive emotional and relational patterns. Let's dive right in.

Christine Jewell: 0:27

You're the first one that's actually asked me that even though, to me, it's so blaringly obvious, but it's obvious when we're on the other side or someone on the outside is looking in. You know, I heard somebody say the other day, the hardest place to read the label is from inside the jar. So when we're inside our circumstance, we can't see necessarily, like it's so obvious to everybody else. We're like a walking will billboard. But the easiest place to in, we're always we are repeating patterns. We are living patterns all the time, 95% of what we do is just repeating repetition. We're in the automatic nervous system, right? So whether we think we are, we think we're not, you are either repeating a pattern or creating a new pattern. And so because we always repeat what we remember in our nervous system and our mindset, right? Our belief systems and everything else is just overflow of that. And so I did get to the place where you're absolutely right, Agi. I was like, Oh, it must be him. It must be my employees. Clearly, I need to fire this person and get somebody new. And I got tired of actually saying it was always someone else, because I realised that everywhere I went there, I was reliving the same relationship dynamic. Now the person's name was different. It was a different man, but it was the same dynamic. It was all it was the same drama. It was the same chaos. It was the same emotional tension that was just showing up with a different name, with a different outfit. It was the same core issues within our team, right? It was the same core. Like the roots are the same, even though the leaves look different, you know? And so finally, you start going, Okay, wait a second, what are the common denominators here? First of all, everywhere I go, whether it's work, relationship, whatever, these things keep presenting themselves. So maybe I get to look at who the one is that's showing up and creating these things, consciously or unconsciously. And then what are the things? What are the familiar drivers and wounds that we repeat? And so I started looking at three things. Number one, I What was the pattern of my identity, what I believed about myself, who I thought I was, who I thought I wasn't. Secondly is like, what was really driving me right? Was I chasing something of feeling something, and what was the driver of that, which was often, to be honest, when I got real with myself, I realised like anger was a lot of the fuel that I had been creating from or pain, like wanting to avoid something of my past or never experience what my mom experienced in her marriage, what my dad ended up with. Like we're always running away from something, or we're running to something. So I had to really get real with myself and say, Okay, what am I running away from? And what do I what am I running to that I think this next relationship or this next business deal or this next thing is going to provide for me, because we're always chasing something because we think it's going to give us something that's often available to us now, like peace is available now, not once I get the boat, or once I get the next trip, or once I get the net. You know, it's available now. And the problem is, you know, we're always living, often living in the gap. I know you referenced Dan Sullivan on one of the recent podcasts I was listening to your viewers, and you know, he talks about living in the gap and and we do this, it's like we're on the beach, we're looking at the sunset, and we're not even, we're not enjoying the sunset or the beach. We're living like in the water, in between, all the time, treading, getting tired, instead of like, can I enjoy and be where I am and experience, you know, peace, freedom, joy, whatever it is here, while also being excited about where we're going.

Agi Keramidas: 4:24

Thank you for listening. You will find the full conversation with Christine Jewell in Episode 406 The link is in the episode description. If you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here the quick, simple favour I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button until next time Stand out don't fit in.