Make Your Triggers Work For You, Not Against You (Personal Development Wisdom Snippets) | #609

[Agi Keramidas]
Welcome to Personal Development Mastery Podcast and this is another snippet of Wisdom, where I select my favorite, most insightful moments from previous episodes. Let's dive right in.

[Rebeccah Silence]
I'm going to share with you a client story example of a woman who didn't know the difference between when she was triggered and when she wasn't. And then I will give you my make your triggers or bitch formula. I literally have a three-step process to make your triggers or bitch so that they don't have control over you anymore.

So I had a client who was at her wits end, very successful professionally, really unhappy in her marriage, really resentful and guilty and shameful about that of her kids and her husband and her team and her clients and how much she was giving and she just felt really unfulfilled. And no matter what, she was feeling all this guilt and shame. And then she called me one day and said, I was in the shower and I just felt like I was going to have a panic attack.

I felt like I was going to lose it. I was so triggered and I didn't know why. And really what was going on is more of what we were talking about earlier.

Her life didn't fit in with her at all. She was giving herself away in the name of love and hadn't realized it yet and was sick of feeling resentful and sick of everybody else's needs getting met and not her own. So, you know, that's, that's a quick story to just help you hear how deep the triggers run.

So it's more important to know when you're clear than it is to know, am I triggered? And so when you're triggered, it's, it's you going into that fight, flight, freeze mode. And the other fourth option that nobody else talks about is healing.

You're free. You're able to access possibility, right? So we have to normalize the trigger.

We have to go, it's not a bad thing that I'm triggered, but we also need to understand the trigger is the access point to the healing. The trigger is the access point to the healing and the trigger isn't new. So this woman had been living like this for decades.

And it was only this moment in her shower that she was safe enough to feel it and to own it and to call me after. And the thing about triggers is they don't go away until they're resolved. Patterns, negative experiences, you feeling drained and exhausted and pressure and stress.

This isn't healthy, even though it's normal. And so many people go through it. So I want you to know the difference between when you're triggered and when you're clear.

And I'm just going to lovingly suggest you're triggered more than you're clear. If you haven't taken my emotional survival kit yet or worked with me, and we're not trying to change the scenery to resolve the trigger, the make your triggers, your bitch process is going. Hi, I'm Rebecca and I'm triggered and sit with it.

That's step one. You've got to own it and sit with it. There's nothing to do yet.

Just own it and sit with it. And if it feels off, even at the whisper level, you're triggered. If you're not, oh my goodness, this moment is so beautiful and there's nothing I can't face move through or conquer.

You're triggered. So step one is sit with it, own it. Step two is breathe it in, breathe it out, get closer to the emotion underneath the trigger.

It doesn't matter why you're triggered because this situation helped you access a pattern that's running your life already. So if it wasn't this, if we don't heal the trigger, it'll just be something else. The trigger will keep popping up like whack a mole in your life until it's resolved.

So we want to thank the moment genuinely for showing us a trigger that's been running our life. I want you to get really brave and really willing to find your weak spots and to see your blind zones so that you're in control of your life. I want you feeling more alive, more powerful, and more fully in control of your life.

So step one, again, you own it, you sit with it. Step two, you get closer to it. You breathe it in, you breathe it out, and you feel the emotion underneath it.

So anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement, which emotion underneath this upset do I need to connect to, get close to, so that I can be liberated and free? And then step three is a new commitment. And I don't care if you have a full-on emotional release or if you moved all the way through the emotion.

We just want to get the emotion moving, emotion, get it moving, so it's not stagnant and toxic and dysregulating you more. So step three is what's the new experience? And maybe, again, if the trigger was anxiety, and now you want to get to power, great.

For my client in the shower that day, it was about her taking her life back. She felt powerless, and she wanted to take her life back. She wanted to take control of her life again.

So spoiler alert, we ended up sending her to Spain for a month, working remotely, kept her family together, actually ended up getting her a promotion at work. We just turned the tables so that her life was hers on her terms. And it took this moment in the shower for her to realize, my life isn't mine, and enough of that.

[Agi Keramidas]
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