What 650 Episodes Taught Me About the Root of Mastery | #650

What if the most important action you take today happens before you do anything at all? Keep that question with you for a few minutes because we will come back to it. Welcome to Personal Development Mastery Podcast episode 650. I am your host, Agi Keramidas, and a couple of years ago in episode 400, I had shared the biggest lesson I had learned in five years of podcasting at that time. 

Today, 650 episodes in, that lesson has taken me somewhere deeper. I felt drawn to share a realization that has been subtly forming underneath everything I have learned over these years. My intention, as always, is that this message reaches those of you who need to hear it most and to serve as a reminder in your own journey. 

Before I start, let me give myself a small pat on the back because 650 episodes is a milestone worth pausing for. And yes, the goal I have talked about before remains the same, at least a thousand episodes. Before I share that biggest lesson and where it has taken me, let me first give you a brief overview of the journey so far.

When I started the podcast in 2020 and named it Personal Development Mastery, I didn't realize that I was raising the bar for myself. In 2021, I admitted that I sometimes wondered whether I had set myself up for disappointment by naming the podcast Mastery. That's about the time I started realizing that self-mastery is not something you achieve, but a journey. 

At that time, I called it the art of perfecting towards the vision you have set. I remember comparing it to mastering the guitar, practice long enough and your fingers move by themselves. But with self-mastery, I have not yet found the point where it runs by itself.

And in a way, that is what this episode is about. A year ago, my understanding of mastery had shifted and I spoke about it in episode 550. Mastery wasn't about perfecting, I have actually stopped using that word completely, but about integration, something that we live into rather than get to. 

I shared three aspects of mastery then, mind mastery, flow mastery and living mastery. Together, they started to look less like a goal and more like a way of walking through life. As I was preparing for this episode, there was a story that kept coming back to me, a story that I shared in episode 400.

At that time, I told it for a different reason. Today, I see something in it that I hadn't considered then. It is the story of the Chinese bamboo tree, which shows nothing above the ground for years after it has been planted. 

So for years, it does not seem to grow at all. It doesn't even pierce through the ground. But when it finally starts appearing, its growth is tremendously fast.

I had said that if the farmer had stopped watering it during those years, the tree would have died in the ground unseen. Back then, I told it as a story about consistency. Keep watering your dreams, even if you see nothing. 

Today, I want to look at the same story, but from below the ground, because there is something there that I didn't see then. All these first years, when nothing shows above the ground, the bamboo wasn't doing nothing. It was growing roots.

The growth that everyone eventually sees depends entirely on what was happening below the ground. Everything we eventually see above the ground, the growth and the results, depends on a root system we never see. That's what I want to highlight. 

That root system is the part that we actually have influence over, because we can only control our effort and not the outcome. I have said before that in achieving a goal, what matters more isn't what you build, but who you become while building it. I have now come to see what sits beneath that becoming, and that is awareness. 

Mind mastery, flow mastery, living mastery are the visible tree. Awareness is the root. So what does awareness being the root mean in practice? Simply this. 

It is very hard to master what we do not notice. Let me explore this with you in three parts. The first is the moment where mastery happens. 

The second is the signal that helps us notice it. And the third is the choice that noticing makes possible. Let's start with the moment, the moment where mastery happens. 

Back in episode 550, I spoke about the split second between what happens and how we respond. That split of a second between the stimulus and our response. I do believe that's where mastery lives, but I've realized that I had missed a step. 

It is a question I have asked both myself and my guests on the podcast. How do you pause and stop at that moment when the reaction is already on its way? Dr. John Demartini describes two kinds of awareness. Reflexive, where we react like an animal in survival, and reflective, where we can choose. 

What I understand better now is the step that comes even before that pause, because it is very hard to pause in a moment we don't even notice. So how do we start noticing? Where does that signal come from? This brings me to the second part, how we notice it. During my second 10 day Vipassana silent meditation retreat that I did this summer, I was reminded of a teaching that answers that question very simply.

What Vipassana teaches is that every emotion shows up first in the body as a change in the breath, or a physical sensation, or both. When this happens, we can either distract ourselves, and that sensation sinks below the surface and returns later, or we can observe it and it passes. In a similar way, our emotions can be seen as feedback from the body, and that feedback can help us move towards reflective awareness. 

So the signal is there. The question is whether we're listening. A few years ago I had described emotional mastery as being able to sit with your emotions. 

Today I would add something to that. Sitting with our emotions is also how we begin to notice them. So these were the first two parts of awareness. 

The first was the moment, that split of a second between the stimulus and our response. The second was the signal that the stimulus creates, and how we notice it through our breath or our body sensations. And that takes us to the third part, the choice. 

That is what noticing makes possible, because once we notice, something shifts. We stop being the reaction and we become the observer of it. We become the conscious observer, and the observer can choose. 

We know that we don't control what happens around us. In other words, we don't control the different stimuli that can happen in our life. But what we do control, what we do have a say in, is how we perceive them.

What we decide and how we act. And the more aware we become, the more that control grows. This is the inner governance. 

There is a part of the brain, the executive center, that helps us regulate our reactions, so we can respond rather than simply react. And the more aware we are of what's happening inside of us, the more we move from reflex to reflection. Each time we notice, each time we choose, we move a little away from the impulse of the moment and towards who we are aspiring to become. 

That is the root growing quietly, below the ground. So having said all that, let me come back to the question I asked at the beginning. What if the most important action you take today happens before you do anything at all? I hope it makes more sense now. 

That action is noticing, it is quiet, it is invisible, and yet so much grows from it. As you know, I always like to leave you with something practical. So here are three simple invitations, one for each part we explore today.

The first, find the moment. This week, try to notice just one reaction. If you only notice it afterwards, that still counts, because next time you will notice it a little sooner. 

Keep doing that. The second invitation, listen to the signal. When you feel a charge, a tightness or a rush to do something, pause and ask, where do I feel it in my body? What is happening to my breathing right now? Don't try to fix anything, just observe it. 

And the third invitation, make the choice. Once you've noticed it, ask yourself, is this my reaction or my choice? Just asking the question opens a small space, and in that space you can choose. And be gentle with yourself while you're doing this. 

Three small invitations. None of them will change much on their own, and nothing may be visible above the ground for a while. But that is how roots grow, quietly, a little at a time.

Try them this week, and I would genuinely love to hear what you notice. Thank you for being part of this 650 episodes. This podcast still grows by word of mouth, and I still read every message you send me and every review you write. 

So if this episode meant something to you, let me know, or share it with someone who might need to hear it. In last week's episode, we heard the words, you won't make a difference by fitting in, only by standing out. And standing out begins with noticing who you are, moment to moment. 

Being aware of the present moment and what it contains for you. Until next time, keep noticing, keep growing, and as always, stand out, don't fit in.