#158 Managing our emotional state, shifting our focus from fear to faith, and thrive not survive, with Chuck Hogan [abridged re-release].

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Episode Transcript

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0:02  
Welcome to the personal development mastery Podcast. I am Agi Keramidasand my mission is to inspire you to grow, stand out and take action towards the next level of your life. I interview leaders, authors, successful entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life.

0:26  
Tune in for two episodes each week and make sure you subscribe to get them as soon as they are released.

0:35  
This is the third and last of these episodes in which I'm revisiting some interviews that I did in the early days of the podcast. I do believe that these conversations have useful and deep messages inside them. And I wanted to give especially to the newer listeners of the podcast the opportunity to discover these conversations and the value that they have. This conversation is with Chuck Hogan. And it took place in the end of March 2020, which was for many countries in the world first or second week when they had entered the initial lockdown. So because of COVID. The conversation was originally featured in episodes 15 and 16.

1:27  
Hello, everyone, I am delighted and privileged to be speaking with Chuck Hogan. Chuck is a neuro strategist at Tony Robbins, senior trainer, and crew facilitator for Tony Robbins events.

1:45  
Chuck, welcome to the show. I am delighted and privileged to be speaking with you today. Thank you, my brother, it's a pleasure to be back. I really appreciate the opportunity in the time.

1:59  
I wanted to ask you, so how we can cultivate faith, but you just said that it's a matter of putting our focus there and exercising our faith, instead of putting our focus and attention on fear and feeding that part of us. And

2:16  
you, it goes a step further to it. And it's about letting go. See, faith isn't about holding on Facebook. And it's interesting, because we'll hear people actually use that terminology. I'm holding on to faith, I'm holding on to faith, like it's the last string holding their entire garment together.

2:39  
And the truth is, that's not the truth.

2:43  
You are a complex

2:46  
soul. There is so much more that makes up and cultivates who we are.

2:53  
In, there's many sayings around this to people go it's not, you know, how you do anything is how you do everything.

2:59  
They say? Well, I would contest that, that there's some truth in that. And I would also say that in life, there are times when we have a necessity

3:14  
to step up, and to engage in different things that may not have been our first selection.

3:23  
You know, people go, I didn't choose to stay at home Chuck,

3:27  
as I understand.

3:30  
So now that we know that you are home,

3:33  
what can you do to exercise all your resourcefulness? Because when we start to feel that anks or that pressure, that stress, which is actually the precursor to fear,

3:44  
resistance, if you will.

3:46  
And people go, we have it. That's how you build muscle. And I said yes. And that's how you find to create even more faith. If I want to be a very good boxer as an example.

3:58  
If I want to tire myself out, I can tense up in throw every punch with as much force as possible and bring it back with as much force as possible.

4:10  
Well, geez, I do that five or 10 times.

4:14  
Okay, but if I'm loose, and I'm able to throw my punches, and I'm able to go ahead and move

4:21  
to a god yeah, that feels more natural. I said, Yes.

4:25  
When does it when does the bow of a tree break

4:30  
like the branch

4:33  
when it's very strong and stiff, and it gets flexed too far.

4:39  
But if we look at the limbs, the smaller branches, they flex and flow in the breeze, you'll see them flipping back and forth. And they're the ones that have the big leaves on them people going

4:51  
interesting.

4:53  
We get to choose if we want to be in flex and flow or if we want to be as hard as we're

5:00  
Rock, immovable.

5:03  
I would contest that, using that analogy of are you set in stone? Are your feet heavy? Or are you light? Are you living in breath and energy and feeling that flow through your body are you releasing? And this is a big one right now. Because many of the people who are listening to the simulcast are givers. They have huge hearts. I know the people that you attract my friend in your beautiful soul. So this is flattering to be here with you.

5:34  
Pleasure. What I would say is, is that right now we have to exercise. Another very important gift and that is humility, Bill. But Chuck, I'm a giver. I'll be that's what I do I give to Pete understood, give them the gift of being a great receiver.

5:52  
So when someone is giving you grace, love, connection, reaching out, don't look at it as an imposition. Look at it as an opportunity to exercise and live in your gifts. And with a whole heart accept what they're giving you.

6:08  
Because that completes the process of the energetic release of giving and receiving.

6:15  
It is a cycle.

6:18  
And it's so important because when we in some people's what were what I will say is Neva T, and they don't have the emotional conditioning to understand this.

6:30  
They will actually say No, please, I'm good. Don't worry about me.

6:37  
Well, if that's what they need to fulfil their feeling of giving to you, then just say thank you, I so appreciate the well wishes. I really appreciate that. And I'm really doing great. And I just honour you. Thank you for that. Bill, with your permission, I'll take that energy you shared with me and I'll pass it on to

6:59  
the

7:01  
LSU Thank you. This way they feel valued. They don't feel judged. They don't feel like they're, they're giving us in good enough.

7:08  
Because for many people, that's where they're living right now.

7:13  
So, faith is actually about letting go. That's where that freedom. That's why we talk about freedom. It's about owning whatever's going on in that moment, and not being critical in judging about it. Not living in the past and berating or beating oneself up, own it. Get the lesson and let go.

7:34  
Because stress right now, and arguably, I mean, how many? How many of us have stress in our lives?

7:42  
Yeah, if we're breathing, and we're

7:46  
aware and awake right now, there are forces outside of your control that are moving you.

7:54  
And none of it has any meaning but the meaning we give it.

8:00  
Who knew?

8:02  
So this sounds so simple. And that's because it is right now. I would contest in fact, I would implore all of us to take a moment and just get back to simplicity.

8:19  
Get back to the needs right now. Not the ones. There's a lot of people right now. Whoo, I want this. I want this. I want it because commercials are still running. People are still buying goods and things and stuff. And I go, I get it. And

8:37  
what do you need right now

8:40  
is this opportunity. Again, this is staycation is giving us a very unique opportunity right now to reset ourselves.

8:50  
And here's the best part. You can it's like a video game, you can reset yourself over and over and over. And even after the staycation is done, you still have the same ability to reset.

9:04  
This is just giving us the time to slow down so we can actually see each other's blind spots. But in that freedom, there's a sense of vulnerability.

9:16  
And that's where the faith comes back in again, this is where that cycle of faith is completed. Because when we have faith we have the strength, the fortitude, the conviction, the belief that everything is going to be okay, we feel guided we feel connected, and their energy has no boundaries. It's like master Ko, when he you know, says Kay, go ahead, press the centre of your palms, rub your hands together, press press, okay.

9:40  
Let's go ahead and create some energy. And then he could be across the world and

9:46  
let me let's see if this works. Okay, reverse it. Okay, this is crazy. Now is it psychosomatic, some people might go he's just influencing your thought process that? No, that's part of its faith. Part of it is that when you up

10:00  
Playing to a higher energetic source, that you actually feel connected to everyone and everything.

10:06  
But in order for that faith to be realised, we need to be in flux and flow and freedom. But what actually gives us the ability to have the freedom is the faith. So you start to see has this very cyclical experience.

10:19  
But that's where we can actually find more freedom.

10:24  
And it's not that we won't have fear, it's just that it won't be debilitating.

10:28  
So, I would actually say that fear may be more of a concern for some people fear as an opportunity.

10:37  
Because they realise, at least in the world of business, and in life, the highest level of influence that you can have is that one other everyone else is freaking out, that you have faith, that you're focused, that you're calm,

10:50  
that your belief systems are so strong. It's not that you don't have dealt, it's not that you don't question what's going on. But in the moment, you know, that

11:01  
being in that energetic space is going to give you more access to the resources that you need.

11:10  
You said you were talking about fear and faith. And I want to your comment on how the negativity that people are constantly being bombarded with through television, the social media, how that affects our fear, or increases or fear and how can we shift from this constant negativity towards positivity and optimism in this

11:41  
difficult situation that we're living in? Greg?

11:47  
Right now, on there's a formula for all say, media. And and so let me let me kind of separate that to a degree. The mainstream media deals with sensationalism. And for the first time, I mean, I remember 911. I remember,

12:04  
I remember SARS and avian flu. And, arguably, you did not see the social distancing. That is occurring, that we're seeing now. Part of the challenges is that we need to know how we're wired, we need to know where we're living what our epicentre is, for many people, arguably, we all share many attributes. So if we're more rules driven, if we're, you know, much more methodical, if we're an action taker, things do first thing second.

12:38  
And this also comes from if we're internal, or external. So I don't care what anyone else think these are my beliefs, this is who I am, this is how I live my life. For other people, I go, Well, tell me what I need to do to help tell me, what's my next action step? Come on, just, I need to know. They're externally frame, they're waiting for someone else's affirmation or waiting for someone else's input. Now, arguably, we have a little bit of both in us, but some people are way external. And some people were way internal. And so what I would say, in fact, what I would ask is, is if you're very external,

13:21  
wear on your body weight on your body, do you actually feel it when you get positive reinforcement, or someone has told you that something is a Okay.

13:37  
Now, the reason why I'm asking is is because arguably for most really, oh, yeah, but I still get that feeling. And I go, Oh, so you are internal?

13:45  
Well, yeah, but they told me it was all right. Yes. But where do you feel it? There? Well, first, it was here, and then it was here. So I go, but if you're really connecting with yourself, have you always known that it felt right to go yet, but I just needed that confirmation from someone else I go, great. So this is a beautiful opportunity right now. To in those moments when you find yourself floating back up in your head, get back in that heart space. And ask yourself, does it really feel right?

14:14  
What am I feeling that my body? What can this really mean? There's a technique that Mr. Robbins had shared with me at a private Platinum partner event.

14:24  
And he, I'm going to share this with everyone on this because he said use this and the the abbreviation is called so SEW.

14:38  
Se W. The S stands for the sensation.

14:42  
Now, let me I'm going to back up for just a moment. This is a way within 60 to 90 seconds that you can actually process in your own body. So within a minute to a minute and a half. When you get really good at it. You can do it in 2030 seconds.

14:58  
This is a way to know

15:00  
became feel debilitated or triggered by something that's going on.

15:06  
So could be a very powerful tool, when we're feeling the onslaught of what I'll call negative input. See, we're gonna run back even 20 seconds earlier, you asked me, you know, when all this negativity is around, well, let's look at how, what ways are the negative flows coming to you?

15:24  
So I'll put it a different way. What are the ways that sugar is entering your body?

15:30  
Because arguably, sugar is one of the most addictive products on the planet, and it's one of the ones that's the most worst for you. It's detrimental to your health, but it's in foods, it's in beverages. It's in

15:43  
pasta sauces, it's I mean, it's in everything and it's hidden. Well, the negativity that people are being subjected to right now is hidden.

15:56  
So right now, your life is like a supermarket.

16:00  
You go into the supermarket, the grocery store, and you start looking around. Well, some people eat for comfort. So they're buying chips, they're buying candy, they're buying pastries, they're buying fruit, they'll buy meats, they'll proteins, and then they'll get salad.

16:19  
And that's the amount of their salad. Their cart is full salad.

16:25  
And it's a garnish it's parsley on the side of their plate.

16:30  
And they don't even eat it, they just chew on it and then put it to the side, like mint in their teeth.

16:37  
That's the amount of vegetation that they're getting. Sorry, I'll get off that bandwagon.

16:43  
But we have a choice.

16:49  
Just as market of life, we get to choose what's the fuel we're going to put into our bodies. So if I may eat leafy greens, alkalizing foods, whole grains are going to have some greens, I have some Ezekiel bread. Why? Because I want to put the best fuel on my body. Well, I would contest that. We exercise and there are people who are pros at eating clean. But they are absolutely junkies when it comes to what they're feeding themselves emotionally and mentally.

17:16  
And so part of that 30 3030 that we talked about, is feeding your mind with good food, good mental food, great mental food,

17:28  
feeding your spirit, great messages, great videos, things that make you cry, things that touch your soul things that like when you look at them, they're inspirational or motivational. Why? Because in those moments, when you get doses of that

17:45  
now all of a sudden you're gone. You know, I really like salads a lot more. I really liked the emotional cleansing. I really liked the emotional enemas I've been giving myself.

17:56  
So

17:57  
going back to so didn't want to leave you hanging.

18:01  
So the first thing you're gonna ask yourself is the sensation. What am I feeling? And most notably, where is it in my body? What am I having this reaction? Is it in my head? Is it in this space between my ears? Is it in my heart? My heart feels heavy? Is it in my gut?

18:22  
Okay, well.

18:25  
Interesting. So I'm feeling that sensation. Feeling it kind of in my head. Okay. The E stands for the emotion. What is this feeling?

18:38  
Because people will go Oh, I'm feeling frustrated. Okay.

18:43  
What does that really mean? So what's the emotion that you feel when you're experiencing frustration? And then I go on? Oh,

18:52  
um,

18:55  
I'm feeling judgmental. Like, you know, I was so frustrated because I'm not getting it. Right. I keep doing the same thing over and over again. Oh, okay. So where are you feeling it in your head? Oh, and what's the emotion again?

19:11  
Like judgmental

19:13  
really hard on myself. I'm just angry. Check them ain't. Oh, so the emotions the anger

19:19  
that wow, that came from frustration. You tell me. Yeah, I'm really pissed off right now. Oh, so you went from angry to pissed off? Is that a higher or lower level that I got? Oh, definitely higher. They go. I said, Okay, what's the next level go in rage? I go. Have you ever felt enraged when you were frustrated? They go, Oh, yeah. Oh, as okay, but we don't need to go there now. So we don't have to associate to that feeling. So when you when you recall this, you feel it between your ears. So that's the sensation and then the emotion is anger. And then

19:55  
the W is what and why? Why do you feel this way? And what does it really mean?

20:02  
All right. Well, as always happens always, every time.

20:08  
Absolutely. Well, often. Has it ever not happened? Yes.

20:15  
Okay, so how would you like to feel instead of angry? You know, free light? You know, happy? Yeah, let's go for happy, great. What has to happen in order for you to feel happy?

20:28  
So what that's like, where focus goes, energy flows, you focus on being pissed, I said, Your words, not mine, you focus on being frustrated. It's not working again. So how often have you exercise this? How often have you built that? That muscle? I said, quite often. So we need to break the pattern. So how do you want to feel instead? Feel I think, is it?

20:54  
How do you want to feel instead?

21:00  
So can help move you through this very quickly.

21:04  
And then when you start to anchor all the beautiful things that go along with those emotions and feelings you want to feel most often. But one of the things that's really important,

21:12  
and this is really important for people to understand, is that we need to scramble and alleviate getting caught in the processes that trigger us most often. So for some people, they will they're addicts. They're like God, Oh, I can't help it. I got to turn on this new simulcasts. So we'll turn on a different one.

21:39  
Why is it that Oh, that's my channel. It's kind of like when you hear a song, you go, Oh, that's my jam, you know?

21:49  
Okay, and they get triggered with all these emotions, collected choose, but in some way, shape or form, they become addicted to feeling that way. And it's like what? Oh, for the love of Pete people. We got to shift this up a little bit. It's like, there's certain songs out here. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Now, I'm imagining it's a nice warm summer's day, and just enjoying the music and feeling it.

22:10  
And then someone will play opera. And I'm like, going.

22:14  
No, I love opera as well. I don't. Yeah.

22:18  
I consider myself more cultured than that. But no, I love all forms of music. Well, I love all forms of media. The challenge with it is is that some media triggers us in different ways than others.

22:30  
So as an example, if I'm listening to a comedian, that is actually able to find the levity in light, it's not the information, it's how the information is delivered.

22:43  
Oh, so we can talk about Corona, we can talk about stock market, we can talk about food and toilet paper. And and but it can be done in such a way where it's not as detrimental.

23:00  
Where we can find the comedy in it where we can find the levity in it, it takes just as much energy. In fact, it takes more energy to be negative than does be positive.

23:09  
You use more muscles to frown than you do to smile.

23:14  
So if we're about efficiency, it we're about growing. Let's just use the seven or eight muscles, it takes the smile instead of the 20 or 30 that it takes to frown.

23:26  
Hmm, interesting.

23:29  
Great, so it's powerful. One of the other things too, is that you can actually create your own pattern interrupts and one of the things that I've been doing lately, I was given access to some amazing information at a training I was at recently. And it's about the power of breath and breathing.

23:49  
And because of the way that our body is wired, you really do want to breathe in through your nose, and then exhale out your mouth. And one of the things that you can do with this is that that everyone can try this right now. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Yep, take a deep breath in.

24:06  
And as you exhale, yawn, drop your jaw.

24:13  
Now you can breathe in again, as if you were breathing in to yawn. Now, this is very interesting cuz you're gonna actually find me take in about 20 to 30% more breath. So if you're like

24:25  
you do when you're young.

24:32  
How good is the I can feel it. more oxygen in my head and releasing your shoulders drop.

24:40  
The body is a beautiful instrument when we know how to play it.

24:46  
Many of us are tone deaf though when it comes to how we play our own bodies.

24:52  
And so it's about understanding the melody, the rhythm,

24:58  
the lyrics, the

25:00  
tempo the beat the bass, the treble is they go now you've gotten them way too technical said, If it makes you shake your ass and Joseph McClendon would say that you're doing something, right. And so, again, because motion creates emotion, so why wouldn't we want to incorporate little attitude into what we're doing? And they go, I can do that while I'm yawning. Yes, you can do that one box breathing, DDS you can. And so it's, it's all these different things, they've literally shown that you can actually drop your blood pressure.

25:32  
by breathing properly, you can lower your heart rate by breathing properly. Most In fact, martial arts, it's about the breathing,

25:44  
as well as the movements.

25:47  
So being able to find that centre

25:50  
is a technique I taught my kids from the time they were very little about being present and clear. If you find yourself going down the rabbit hole, if you find yourself being influenced by I'll say external forces. Because the truth is there is no such thing as negative information is just information.

26:08  
There's no such thing as negativity, it's data.

26:11  
The only thing that makes it positive or negative is the way that we take it on.

26:15  
Yeah. So as mastercode would say is that we can go ahead and put up that beautiful shield of pink light around our heart, we can go ahead and put that beautiful golden crown and help stimulate ourselves rather than judge ourselves. We can use our big green mittens and brush away all any negative charge, we can go ahead and fill ourselves with positive violet light.

26:37  
And yeah, I mean, even just thinking about it for that moment, it starts to feel a different way. What I would contest is though, is that

26:45  
let's try

26:50  
every breath if you feel so inclined, please rise. Just take a deep breath in through your nose. In fact, go ahead and take your finger you can take your pinky or your index finger, just totally touch the tip of your nose. Right, the tip your nose right where your nostrils are as you take a deep breath in.

27:04  
And as you exhale, allow the breath just to flow out of you know force

27:09  
eautiful deep breath in right by the tip of your nose. As you take a deep breath in. Imagine your favourite colour, your favourite colour, the perfect colour for you. I know some of your achievers and you're like Archimedes, it's a rainbow. That's beautiful. Exhale.

27:26  
You take your next deep breath in, imagine that colour even brighter, more clean, more pure as it's passing right by the tip of your nose. And you're going to give it the perfect scent for you as you exhale lightly.

27:39  
Beautiful, one more deep breath in.

27:42  
effortlessly breathing in perfect colour, perfect scent.

27:47  
And exhale.

27:50  
And on the last one we're going to breathe in and we're going to do a deep mono deep breath in.

27:59  
Perfect colour perfect scent and mon out.

28:08  
Do you find that your mind is quiet?

28:11  
Yes, I find that relaxation. Yes, peace and internal peace. And even my not just my my mind, even my body, I just sat on the chair, very complete relaxation and

28:30  
a few more of your breaths. That within seconds, because all emotions are stored cellularly in your body.

28:37  
And when you release when you are in flow, when you are feeding those beautiful nutrients, as we increase the oxygenation, we increase the volume of blood in our body. What you're doing is flooding your body with beautiful endorphins that actually help remove pain that actually help us. And that's one of the reasons why COVID-19 has been so detrimental to people because it's removing their breath

29:01  
removing their breath.

29:05  
So people go, Oh, he just went negative, then breathe. Does he have that ability. But here's some here's some tricks to help him ward off having any kind of I'll just say physical impairment, number one

29:21  
every 20 minutes. Take a sip of a warm fluid. That means warmer than room temperature, not lukewarm, warm. So it could be lemon water with honey. It could be minty. Preferably not things that are caffeinated because then you'll be jumping off the walls.

29:41  
And your mind will definitely be racing and you'll have rapid eye movement. So we'll be able to tell each and every one of you that's having this reaction.

29:49  
I know some of you when I'm high on life, I'm like going yeah, and that double espresso you just had now you guys, yes, we got your number

29:58  
because we know what comes with that. And that's the best

30:00  
Scotty and the croissant and like, okay, dude, you're calling me out? Yes, I am. So, taking sips of warm fluid, it actually helps keep your esophageal track clean and clear and help flush things through your body, it also helps with hydration. The second thing is, is a couple times a day not long, but a couple times a day.

30:23  
Preferably once in the morning, once before you go to bed at night, I would say hop in the shower or a bath. And allow yourself your your skins the largest organ that you have, so you can hydrate your body.

30:35  
And I would also say that that warm moist air helps with your lungs as well loosening up anything. The other thing too is that if you can get ahold of some elderberry,

30:45  
you can actually take things like echo naisha and elderberry. And just a little bit will help immensely that or you can even get tumeric tea even order online and have it delivered to your home. It helps reduce inflammation in your body. As long as you don't have an allergy to any of these things. These very simple things even along with ginseng tea and things like that will help increase your metabolic rate will help ward off and increase your immune system.

31:11  
And so that way, you can actually stay more healthy, happy and focused as well. And you mean fine to that it's a great recipe for helping your body increase its metabolic rate where you're like God, Holy smokes, I've actually lost a stone or two during this time that I've had to staycation. Because now you can actually be you're not under the external influence a lot of other people relative to eating what they're eating, because you're out of business meetings, lunches, grabbing something on the go. That's all baloney. So here's the worst part. You're accountable now. Holy smokes.

31:51  
That's a beautiful thing. Wow. So those are just some of the ways that we start to the simple answer. And I took a very

31:58  
left turn at Albuquerque approach towards my answer to your question. What I would say is this, my friend, you have control over the remote

32:08  
off on, change the frickin channel, lower the volume.

32:14  
Because imagine this, imagine you're just watching what's going on with no sound.

32:21  
It's a bunch of people reading off the teleprompter. I said imagine their sound in no picture.

32:28  
said but people are become so conditioned. I said, What if it was in black and white? And you were reading it?

32:35  
I said that's different as well. So what I would say is that, at least here in United States, we had this great reporter named Walter Cronkite, the days of Walter Cronkite are dead. Everyone has an opinion. That's the human condition. Everyone has their slant, if they're left or right, if they're, you know, an independent, they're a conservative or liberal. Everyone has an opinion. And the truth is no one's right. No one's wrong. No one's to blame.

33:04  
It's kind of like going you use metric we use standard, the temperature is still the temperature. So if I say it's 70 degrees outside Fahrenheit, no go, what is that Celsius,

33:17  
we have the same, we have two different measuring sticks for the exact same temperature.

33:24  
It hasn't all of a sudden change because your metric and standard is just the way we're communicating creates a divide. And then we have to go you're not in your heart when you're thinking about the conversion rate of what Celsius to Fahrenheit is or Fahrenheit to Celsius true as the head process. So that's where when people start to analyse as I call it, they're not analysing information or analysing over it because they're so emotionally attached to it, that they have this visceral response. Yeah,

33:56  
flex and flow, take a deep breath in, get present.

34:00  
Information is just information.

34:03  
So

34:05  
if and people go, come on, it's not that easy. I said, knowing your model the world, it's not that easy. In my model the world. It's that easy.

34:14  
And it took time to develop that unconscious competence. Now, where I'm not triggered, is if I find myself getting triggered that's like breathe, take a moment. What does this really mean? get even more sensory aware.

34:28  
So instead of going here, I go, I go here.

34:34  
Oh, well what allows you to do that? Freedom, flex and flow.

34:41  
All comes under the banner of faith.

34:47  
I want to ask something different Chuck. And this is about relationships. And I will use a specific example because now with the

35:00  
staycation as you call it? Yes. There are many couples in particular that spend time inside with each other much more time than they normally used to. And that, of course, can lead to some disagreements. What's your advice with preventing that? or using the time to their advantage rather than against? Sure. So part of it is, is that no different than our businesses, in fact, I'll go on record is saying is that people spend as much time in their relationships as they did on their businesses, you wouldn't see the level of divorce that you see now.

35:40  
Arguably, part of the challenge is become is that where people escape to their businesses, in some instances, because their identity as a business owner, as a provider, as an entrepreneur, as a manager, whatever the case might be, as a thinker, or a feeler maker happened there type of person.

36:01  
They're not doing that right now.

36:08  
is trying to figure out how do I make things better, especially for a lot of masculine men that are going okay, I fix stuff. That's what I do. I'm a fixer. It's like, great. What are you working on right now? The yard, the house. So here's the cool part.

36:24  
You have lemons.

36:27  
You don't have to just make lemonade.

36:30  
You can make lemon custard. You can make a lemon meringue pie. You can make lemon cake, lemon cello, you could make a lemon spritzer. You could make you know mamasezz with lemon instead of orange peel, like, Hey, if you're in a drink, and I'm not judging, just say, and so. But why do I say this? Because in relationships, it's not the relationship that is the cause of the tension. It's things and stuff. So for many people, I've been together with my wife now for 32 years. I'm very blessed. And she is my best friend.

37:07  
And so

37:10  
I love her always. There are days I'm sure she doesn't like me very much. And so one of the things that we've discussed is, is that using this time, to get very deliberate about the things that we get to do.

37:27  
We've made sure right now that we get to eat dinners together as a family, because we don't have athletics and sports and things right now that are keeping our family split, you know, split apart. We don't have homework assignments, at least not at that level. That are, there's no excuses. Like I said, what what this time can be for people is a beautiful opportunity to be able to share and grow and cultivate and create a beautiful dynamic, where now they're opening up new lines of communication. We have an opportunity to be innovative, we have an opportunity to select and choose and commit to being more open. And one of the things that happens often times with these types of spaces, is that people will get very pressured. They're like, Oh, I'm in a small place. It's only 1800 square feet.

38:21  
Two of us in the cat

38:25  
I hate that cat. You know, it's like, Wait a second. You love booboo? What are you talking about? Yeah, not right now.

38:34  
Oh, because I can't normally likes to be led outside.

38:39  
Okay, I can't go outside the way as I let you walk your cat. Okay, anyway, I'm not judging. So I'm bringing this to your attention though, because proximity is power.

38:49  
And proximity also can create what I will call a little bit of peril.

38:56  
We need to be able to give people their time.

38:59  
Time if they're taking their time to reflect the time to meditate time to reset time to grow within themselves. So give them their 30 3030 now that 30 minutes maybe with you in exercise and you go for a walk together. So exercising, you know all the same caveats and rules 10 feet away from other people, yada yada yada. But you know, I can't remember the last time we went for a walk together.

39:24  
When would now be a great time to do what you used to do. When you had no money and you were first starting to date. And you're walking hand in hand.

39:33  
When would now be a great time to go ahead and maybe you cook dinner. Yes, you can burn water. But maybe what you do is you decide you're gonna go ahead and cook for your beautiful spouse instead of her always having to be the one that feels like she has to cook. The one would now be a great time for you to go ahead and, you know, encourage he or she to be more involved in the arts or maybe you take time to sit down together.

40:00  
And you create movie night. And you decide, okay, it's Tuesday, we're gonna watch a comedy tonight. Wednesday, we're gonna watch a romantic movie, there's a way to watch a sci fi.

40:14  
Great.

40:15  
Yes, you're going to sit through Downton Abbey together, because she loves it.

40:22  
And you're like, wow.

40:25  
So go watch him paint dry, but your lover, and so it's at some point in time, we need to understand, but here's the biggest part, you're doing it together. That's the beginning, you would do anything for each other.

40:42  
And now you've gotten to a point where you pass each other off, you didn't put the salt away.

40:48  
Okay, I'll put it away. Now, when would now be a great time for me to put the salt. It's like, but we can get raw. And this is where I said, CW. So we get to condition we get to breathe. So it's not a matter of Oh, you know, there's all these techniques.

41:07  
Some

41:10  
information is only information, I am not in the shelf help. You have a beautiful library behind you. And I can see that many of the books you've you've read, you actually, you know, you've read? Well, and I share this with you though, because it's important. I know a lot of people in the shelf help. They have all these resources, and they haven't read frickin one of them.

41:31  
There's not even a page crease in any of them.

41:34  
And I was like, Okay, then what good does it do, it doesn't make you look intellectual. Because I can go into the Harvard library, I can go into,

41:43  
you know, Texas University Library. It means sitting there with all these books behind me and look like an intellectual. Or I can have nothing behind me in a white screen.

41:54  
And share information. Because it's what we apply. weights don't lift themselves. It's what you do with the weights. Books are only knowledge, if you actually read it, digest it and apply it. And so right now, there's that unique opportunity. But taking that 30 3030 people that are in relationships can actually take that time and start asking their better half.

42:25  
Hey, we haven't been able to go to church together. Would you mind if we take a couple moments this morning and just say a prayer for the world?

42:34  
We'll keep that intention of our family and friends and our loved ones and even people we don't know. Because we're all part of the same race. Hey,

42:43  
would you mind if we did, would you, you know, spot me, I'm going to be doing some lifting today. And if you hold my feet down, I'll hold your feet down. Or I figured out a way where we can actually do have crunches together. We'll hold each other's legs down. That'd be awesome.

43:00  
Hey, I was reading this article. And it's amazing. I thought this might interest you. Here, come sit down with me. I'll read it out loud to you. Wow, isn't that cool?

43:12  
We have together time, we have an opportunity, we have an opportunity to come together to collaborate, to connect, to love to appreciate.

43:24  
And in that faith, and in that FlexSim flow, there's an opportunity to move and grow.

43:32  
Outstanding.

43:35  
It's we get to decide, we get to decide. It doesn't have to be this way. But many people have made mediocrity their measuring stick.

43:49  
I'm getting by we're doing all right.

43:53  
She's good.

43:55  
He's good.

43:57  
What

43:59  
about great, how about amazing, I'm Oh fantastic.

44:04  
Maybe maybe during this time, what you choose is to gameplan what the future is going to look like.

44:13  
And you start to go ahead and do like some

44:21  
I'll just say vision board work together.

44:24  
But what I would ask if you're going to do a vision board. You can look at Brian Maine as an example. He's in the UK, and a why and he he actually has a vision boarding that I started with my kids when they were young. And it's left brain and right brain. So you actually attach emotions feelings, that emotional connectivity to achieving these outcomes and these goals and moving forward in addition to all of the action items, steps that are necessary.

44:58  
So it's really cool process

45:01  
Really cool process. So

45:04  
certainly something to take on board and do and

45:09  
there are so many things that you have mentioned, you're in our conversation now that

45:18  
I think if someone, and I will say it for myself, first of all, but anyone who takes one or two out of all this wealth of information that you said will, I'm certain that they will make a vast change and improvement in not only this period of time that they have secluded in their home in their staycation, I like that word.

45:46  
But I think it's also laying the foundations for whatever happens after the the epidemic finishes and with the, the other side, whatever that may look like, who knows what it is, but as I was telling you earlier, before we started, I have faith, really that whatever is going to happen, it's going to be for the better. And what you were saying about seeing the face in the canals of Venice and dolphins,

46:19  
Oh, Mother, Mother Nature

46:22  
needed some balance. I mean, they have deer in downtown Tokyo. Hmm. So when, when, you know the when the curfuffle when the congestion when everything slows down.

46:39  
It provides amazing opportunities. And this

46:47  
they call it a pandemic, I'm going to call it a pen opportunity.

46:51  
He does, we can look at this. And yes, the death is devastating.

46:58  
This is a very cruel disease. Most people do not die in a warm embrace of a loved one. They die alone.

47:06  
And

47:09  
that is saddening. And so what I would say is, let's not let any soul

47:16  
be taken for granted. Let us decide that we are going to thrive

47:23  
not survive.

47:26  
It's the difference between being a cancer survivor and a cancer conqueror.

47:33  
One never comes back. One is not an identity that we take on.

47:40  
I'm not going to take this moment in life and make it the benchmark standard for what my life is about.

47:49  
It's a moment. And yes, arguably, it could be for several months. But it's still a moment. It's not forever. It is not. It is not what is necessary for the survival of my family. And what's necessary is the love the connection, the resourcefulness and the ability that we have to actually be effective in moving forward and making magic happen. That's very different.

48:18  
Very different.

48:21  
So that's

48:26  
what I want to thank you very much for your time for sharing this incredible things from the heart to the heart. Really, because after I've told you that before it's just speaking in here, no, not not even here. I this is it, but this understands it. And I wanted, even though it's a little bit This podcast is different than what I normally do. But I would like even if it's a bit off topic, just to ask a quick question, because I asked you to with all of my guests in the past. And if you could go back in time and meet your 20 year old self. What's the one piece of advice you would give him? That's easy?

49:19  
No, it is it's actually very easy.

49:23  
Don't be so self judgmental.

49:26  
I, at a very young age put so much pressure on myself

49:32  
academically, educationally, performance wise,

49:37  
spiritually, intellectually, physically, that

49:43  
I let life escape me for many years, because I was so busy doing

49:49  
and

49:52  
arguably,

49:54  
those lessons learned as much as I'd like to say we've even been able to impart slowing

50:00  
down to our children.

50:02  
Society only speeds things up the speed with which technology is advancing. The speed with which

50:13  
all life conditions are being altered, is at a paramount pace. And it's one of the reasons why I believe we're seeing so much discord in in dis ease that is occurring within our environments.

50:29  
To that point in that being said, to the 20 year old self,

50:35  
the same lesson we talked about today, embracing faith, embracing the flex and flow and the freedom and knowing that only limited by the scope of one's own self judgement and lack of imagination.

50:54  
Beautifully said,

50:57  
Thank you very much. It's like how can people connect with you if they want to? Oh, please. You know, I

51:12  
love helping support people professionally and personally.

51:15  
And so you can check me out at y BLS now calm, you'll see my partner's Tony Rodriguez and Jared McMahon on there as well.

51:25  
We are committed to helping people grow and cultivate and to the company is called why BLS now, because it's live your best life strategist. Now.

51:37  
It's a very simple concept. And that is, you're going to live life.

51:42  
Or you're going to survive life. But if you're going to live, live your best life, not just any life. And I know it sounds so simple, and maybe a little cliche, but it's so true. And I've been so blessed. I have several clients that we strategize with. And it's brilliant and beautiful just to see their growth and progress. And we even do a bi weekly podcast, or excuse me, not a podcast, a mastermind group. And so, and you're welcome my friend, let me know and I'll be more than happy to email you the link and and we'd love to have you as a guest. And

52:20  
it's a pleasure. It's a community where people can come together, and share ideas and thoughts without any judgement.

52:28  
And get best practices. We have a wide variety of people who are involved in the mentors and mastermind programme. And it is a true testament to how communities can come together and cultivate and grow in terms of social unrest. And we've been doing this now for over a year. And it's been brilliant because the people who are involved with it,

52:51  
find value in it. And, and we're more than flattered, because it's not us delivering a monologue or just our opinions. It's a community coming together and sharing a variety of thoughts

53:05  
in a plethora of questions. And so thank you for that, my friend.

53:10  
This has been brilliant and beautiful, and I so appreciate the opportunity in time. But I'm really grateful for your time and the opportunity to share your beautiful message with my audience. And

53:26  
I want to wish you all the very best. And likewise,

53:30  
any parting words, you know,

53:34  
take time to do something fun today. Smile. And remember that your life is a gift and filled with opportunity. And that it regardless of how oppressive or I'll say whatever challenges we feel that we are dealing with, that you will flow through these as well. And that you are much stronger and more resourceful than you ever even could imagine possible. You're not alone. And I will leave with this one last thought.

54:09  
Right now there's a lot of people who are not feeling very valuable. And there's a lot of people who

54:17  
are not sharing or communicating what they're truly feeling. And so

54:24  
if you are in a place where you're feeling disempowered, if you're in a place where you're not feeling as strong as you feel you need to be and you've considered some foolish actions.

54:37  
Please don't leave anything in the world that the unspoken, you can reach out at any time. You can go to chuck at y BLS now calm. And I'm going to publicly state this right now.

55:00  
Call me if you need someone who's willing to listen. happy to oblige. You're not alone, though. It's, this is about coming together. This is not about isolating.

55:14  
I appreciate you listening. If you enjoyed it, please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to support my podcast and gain access to exclusive content from me and my guests, then Become my patron. The link is in the show notes or you can type bits dot L wise last pdmp ad. And until next time, stand out don't fit in

Transcribed by https://otter.ai