#397 Special series: Would you like to have more confidence? (part 1)

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
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Agi Keramidas 0:03  
Have you ever thought I'd like to have more confidence? If yes, then this episode is for you. And it is for me as well, because I have many times thought the exact same thing will come to personal development mastery Podcast, episode 397. And this is the first episode out of a special four week series on confidence. 

0:33  
Today, I would like to share some of my thoughts on confidence. And really, if you think about it, confidence is one of the most important and desirable traits that someone can have, isn't it. And let me begin by saying when we say confidence, self confidence is trusting in ourselves. As a matter of fact, the word confidence comes from a Latin word, which means to have full trust or reliance. So when we are self confident in ways that we fully trust and rely on ourselves, and one thing we must understand about confidence is that it's not something that you either have or you haven't, or that some people have confidence and others not. Confidence really depends on what it is that we are discussing. For example, I'm confident to record this podcast right now. But if you asked me to record myself showing off my dance moves, I would not be confident at all. So confidence completely depends. 

1:50  
So today, I would like to help clarify a little bit what confidence is, and more importantly, how to improve it and practically, so I will share with you what confidence is, in my point of view anyway. And also what is the only way anyone can improve their confidence. And then I will share three actionable insights that if they resonate with you, I invite you to use them. And let's begin with what confidence is. Confidence is a learnable skill. Confidence is a learnable skill. It can be cultivated, it can be practised, it can be improved, it's not a matter of having it or not having it. And, as a matter of fact, to acquire the confidence to do something, there is a certain process with Dan Sullivan of strategic coach calls the four C's of confidence. And this is how everyone everywhere grows. And the four C's are commitment, carrots, capability, confidence. So initially, it starts with the commitment, the commitment to face the uncertainty and take the action that might lead to discomfort. But once you make the commitment to take the action that takes you out of your comfort zone, you encounter fear. And the way to overcome this fear is by showing courage, courage is taking action in spite of fear. And if you think about it, that's the only time when you need courage. It's when there is fear involved otherwise, there is no need for a courage. So commitment creates the courage needed to step out of your comfort zone and to make the jump metaphorically speaking. 

4:11  
I remember a few years ago when I had done a public speaking, intensive training for five days. And when I returned from that, shortly afterwards, I was offered to deliver a public speech in front of an audience of 50 people at a networking event in the dark. I was leaving at that time. That to commitment because I that was something that would take me out of my comfort zone very much and it did, but I committed and agreed to deliver the speeds and then the codes came naturally as a result of the is because I had a date set to four the speeds that for the event. And then I had some time for me to prepare and practice. So once I stepped on that stage, and that was my very first public speeds in front of 50 people or so once I stepped on that stage, I realised that the fear had gone. And that's when in the terms of what we are discussing today, acquired that confidence of speaking in front of people. 

5:42  
So bringing back to what I was saying about the four C's, the commitment, courage, capability and confidence, once we do have the courage to step out of our comfort zone, we acquired the capability and when you have a new capability that creates confidence. Now, you're confident because you have done it. 

6:05  
And I will ask you here to think about a time in your own life, when you weren't confident at something, however, you had committed to do it. And you had the courage to take action out of your comfort zone. And that led you to capabilities that allowed you to be confident that show, think about the time that you weren't confident at something and then you became and see how much of this process applies also to your experience of how confidence works. 

6:48  
And I will close this, but you're saying that once we have confidence, then it's like a cycle restarting or better than a cycle spiral. Will going back to seemingly the the beginning what it is not exactly the beginning. And that's why spirals is better than the cycle. So we go back, and we recommit. We take our existing newfound confidence. And we are putting more courage in and creating further capability and further confidence. 

7:24  
So this word, the four C's of confident commitment, courage, capability, confidence, and to these four C's of Dan Sullivan, I would add two more C's of my own curiosity and consistency, and curiosity first, because in order to commit and do something, you will follow a calling of some sort, or an idea or something. That's how we commit that's how I commit personally. So following that curiosity, that initial Curiosity will allow you to start that process of confidence by committing to what you're going to do next. And I also had the sea of consistency, because it is an ongoing process confidence. It is and I'm trying to explain this as clearly as I can, it is not. Now I am confident and it is finished. It's it's not only enough, it is a processes spiral of growing and evolving. So in that way, consistency is very important. Because the moment you stop working your spiral of growth upwards, then the spiral goes downwards. And that's the natural tendency of things things will go downwards. They will be drawn by gravity down to earth we have to maintain energy to remain above and go higher. 

9:17  
So I hope this explanation gives you some insights on how does the process of confidence works and you can reflect on your own experience and see how much relates and in what ways and with this, I will conclude the first episode of a special four week series on confidence. Tune in next Thursday where I will share with you three simple techniques that are very useful in increasing your confidence. And if you like this kind of episode, let me know I would love to go into more depth on topics like this. Until next time, Stand out don't fit in!