Why Forgiveness Is the Bedrock of Burnout Recovery (Personal Development Wisdom Snippets) | #655

[Agi Keramidas]
Welcome to Personal Development Mastery Podcast and this is another snippet of wisdom where I select my favorite most insightful moments from previous episodes. Let's dive right in.

[Scott Anderson]
I listened to, I think it might've been your last episode, was focused a lot on forgiveness. I thought that was such a brilliant show and in such a brilliant conversation and it's absolutely true. Forgiveness is one of the last things we address in the burnout breakthrough methodology because it just sounds so counterintuitive and unrelated to burnout.

But one of the clinical symptoms of burnout that comes upon us very, very gradually and slowly, and yet it's one of the become a kind of a victim mentality. And we begin, and it's so subtle, it's like grass growing, but one of the hallmarks of burnout is beginning to think, it's them, it's my employees, it's my investors, it's my customers, my family, my spouse, they're causing the problem. And for self-actualized, ambitious people, achievers that we really cringe and bristle at that idea.

And yet, so what we have found is that forgiveness and self-forgiveness in particular, but forgiveness generally is really the bedrock of not only recovery from burnout, but propelling you beyond burnout into a life where you're not marginalized, you haven't given up anything. Indeed, you're much more capable and there's much more opportunity. But forgiveness is really that ground zero of getting to the point where even the people that you resent the very most.

As the example, one of the things that I went through and I caused most of this myself, I sold one of the many businesses I started in an acrimonious situation with my business partners. And most of the acrimony I now understand was of my own creation as a result of the burnout that I was going through. It was 90% of it my fault, the acrimony, but we had a good buy-sell agreement and it ended up okay financially.

But I resented my business partners, I noticed, and it was eating me alive. And it took a lot of reflection and a lot of work to realize that it's me, first of all, it's not them. And that I really had to, in order to recover from burnout and without the crisis of burnout, I would not have been able to see this.

And I would not have been able to do the work. But I've really discovered, and it's a big part of the burnout breakthrough program, is to categorically go through the people that we have acrimonious relationships with or that we have resentment towards and go through a process of systematic forgiveness. And again, it's not for them.

I hope it does other people some good, but it's mainly so that we can get through and stay out of burnout, because that is the insidious thread and it happens so subtly and invisibly as we get worse and worse in burnout. But that really is the key, is forgiveness and self-forgiveness, I would say in particular. And also to try to fix things we have broken.

And one of the things that I've tried hard to do is particularly when I think of the business that I sold most recently, to try to fix the relationships that I had broken. And that is not always possible. In some cases, it's not possible.

But the effort, the intention to fix what I've broken, not necessarily seek forgiveness, but to try to fix what I've broken, the intent to do that is incredibly healing, even if forgiveness doesn't come. Because sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we ring the bell and it cannot be unrung.

And that's also where self-forgiveness comes, that I've had to learn that I regret many of my actions that occurred during burnout. I feel as though I was in a delusional state in a way, but I recognize now that I was wrong and I've tried everything I can to try to fix what I've broken. And I've not been able to do that entirely, but the effort has made it all the difference.

[Agi Keramidas]
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