Perhaps you have invested years in therapy, coaching or spiritual practice, and yet the same things keep coming back: the perfectionism, the people-pleasing, the need to stay in control. The missing piece may not be in the mind at all, but in the nervous system.
In this conversation, I speak with Alena Candova about why so many of our patterns were born in childhood to protect us, and why lasting change begins with self-compassion rather than self-criticism. Alena shares the moment on a silent retreat in Bali when she was asked to turn love towards herself, and broke.
In this episode, you’ll discover how to:
• Understand why recognising your limiting patterns isn’t enough to change them, and how the state of your nervous system shapes your everyday behaviour.
• Build a more compassionate relationship with perfectionism, people-pleasing and other protective patterns, by getting curious about what they were originally trying to do for you.
• Start a simple daily practice of conscious breathing, body awareness and curiosity, even two minutes at a time, to create space for deeper self-understanding and lasting growth.
Press play, and notice what begins to shift when you stop fighting your patterns and start listening to them.
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KEY POINTS AND TIMESTAMPS:
03:24 - Why understanding a pattern isn’t enough to change it
05:24 - Your pattern was born to protect you
08:15 - Why change starts in the nervous system
11:18 - The Bali retreat and the struggle with self-love
15:22 - Do we need big breakthroughs to change?
18:38 - Three steps to working with your nervous system
22:07 - A simple daily breathing practice
25:50 - How to integrate realisations into everyday life
27:59 - Personal development, self-compassion and final thoughts
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MEMORABLE QUOTE:
“When we are hard on ourselves, our brain cannot learn.”
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VALUABLE RESOURCES:
Connect with Alena at sattvaintegralhealth.com (http://sattvaintegralhealth.com)
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Coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor
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🎙️ Want to be a guest on Personal Development Mastery?
Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery
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Personal development podcast for midlife professionals, offering actionable insights for personal growth, mindset tips, self mastery and purposeful living.
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A personal development podcast for midlife professionals, offering mindset tips and practical tools for personal growth, self mastery, personal mastery, and purposeful living. Discover psychology tips for emotional intelligence and growth mindset, including overcoming impostor syndrome and building self mastery.
Personal Development Mastery features personal development interviews and solo episodes empowering professionals, entrepreneurs, and seekers to cultivate self mastery and create a meaningful, fulfilling life aligned with who they truly are.
To support the show, click here (https://www.buzzsprout.com/2312111/support) .
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