#302 How to create the lasting motivation you need to overcome obstacles and realise your dreams, with Jamie Fair.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

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Jamie Fair  0:00  
We've got to give ourselves those carrots. We've got to give ourselves a treat. So we've got to reward ourselves, particularly overachievers, we hit a goal and I think all of us do this we hit a goal and then it's on to the next goal. Okay, God check that one off and on to the next thing, right? Okay, I got that. And we rarely take the time to celebrate those wins.

Agi Keramidas  0:21  
You're listening to personal development mastery, helping you take the simple actions to master personal development and create the life you yearn for. I'm your host Agi Keramidas. A few years ago, I was unfulfilled and unmotivated. I felt I had lost my sense of purpose and my life was merely passing by. Since then, I've been on a journey of personal development that has transformed every aspect of my life. My mission is simple, to inspire you to take action towards a purposeful and fulfilling life. In this podcast, I invite myself inside the minds of remarkable entrepreneurs, authors, thought leaders, healers, spiritual teachers, people who share the wisdom from their life's journey. So if you're ready to find practical insights that you can implement right now, make sure you follow the podcast and get the episodes as soon as they are released. In today's episode, you're about to learn how to cultivate lasting motivation, the key to push through your fears, and how meditation can lead to transformative self discovery. Let's dive right in. In today's episode, I am delighted to be joined by Jamie Fair. Jamie, you are a speaker, author, visionary and coach, you have over 30 years of professional leadership experience and a dozen years in the interpersonal workspace. And you combine your passion for teaching leadership skills, along with your love of coaching life skills in your life, you have come from penniless and nearly homeless, to achieving heights professionally, financially and in your personal and spiritual life. And you are passionate about helping others see what's truly possible for them in their own life. Jamie, welcome to Personal Development, mastery. It's a joy to have you here with me today.

Jamie Fair  2:26  
Thank you. I'm so excited and honoured to be here. This has been a long time coming. And I'm just I can't beyond thrilled to be here.

Agi Keramidas  2:33  
And so my exit yes, we've built up to very, so it was always it's always fascinating when eventually it happens. Jamie, we will discuss today about your story of transformation about the motivation, we said we will focus on motivation and creating lasting motivation. Before we go there, can you give us a key defining moment in your life journey that is relevant to the conversation and you know, we'll set the tone for what we're going to discuss from then on. Yeah, I'd

Jamie Fair  3:13  
be happy to thank you for asking. A for me. It really was a time in my life. When I was running out of food and money. I had very low self esteem. I was doing the jobs nobody else wanted to do. I could not seem to keep a job for very long. And I was slowly running out of money. And I knew it was coming. But I really just kept trying to ignore it hoping something would change. Maybe some miracle would occur. But I was running out of food. And the time that really changed everything for me was I opened the cupboard that morning, I knew what I was going to find. And all that was there was a leftover jar of peanut butter. And that was my meal. Right for every meal that day. That's all I had left for food and getting emotional just thinking about it. In that moment, I was so frustrated and so down. And so just, you know, I didn't know what was next. It was like I'm gonna be homeless next. I don't know where to go from here.

Agi Keramidas  4:19  
How long ago was that? Jamie? How long ago was that? Oh, it

Jamie Fair  4:22  
was 30 years ago. Okay. It's quite a while. Yeah. And in that moment, some something inside of me, just was so tired of living this way. I just remember. It was like this voice rose up inside of me. This fire came up and out of my voice. I just yelled. This is not how I was meant to live. And I just knew right then I was not I just I was not going to go down that way. That was not why I came here. That was not my intention or my purpose for being here. And I was not going to go out that way. And I made a decision there. And then I was going to change my life I was going to be, I was never going to be this, you know, close to homeless or this living in scarcity again. And it did. And I changed my life. That was the decision I needed. That was the catalyst, the momentum for me to turn everything around and stop living that way.

Agi Keramidas  5:19  
Thank you I got from that story. There was something you said that before that day, you were kind of even though you knew that you were not doing? Well, you're hoping you said for something to happen, like something to save you. So that's something interesting as an observation. What I wanted to ask was, so when you got the decision, can you tell me specifically what actions one or two actions you took? When you took the decision that that said, I'm not going to carry on like that one or two things that you did differently as a result of that decision?

Jamie Fair  5:57  
Yeah, you know, I think in your personal development podcast, you're most folks are familiar with, you keep doing the same thing you get, keep getting the same results. So I did do something different. For sure. I went back to school, I was one thing I did. I had technical skills, I worked as on computers as a kid. But I needed a piece of paper that said, I did that I could do it. So I went back to school, I spent two years going to a technical school where there was like, one week break during Christmas, and that was it. And I couldn't afford a car. So I rode a bus from my house, down to the main road, and then another bus down the road toward the school, another bus over to the school, that I would get out of my school, take the bus back and go to work. And then I turn around after work, you know, so I was doing work in school for about two years straight. That was one thing I just committed on like, that doesn't matter, I'm never gonna go back there. No matter how hard or how long this takes, I know there's an end to it. I'm gonna be, you know, two years old, or anyway, I might as well be two years older and have that piece of paper that says I can do the job. So that was one big thing. I decided to start working on myself, that was another one. I knew that my mindset was not going to help me get anywhere, and that my confidence level was not going to help me get anywhere. And so I began to work on that part of me as well. Meditation became a big part of my life.

Agi Keramidas  7:19  
I was about to ask you, and you answered the parts before I asked because they're their actual shifts that happened in your mindset as a result of the decisions and what I'm in particular, because mindset is very broad, but the way that you were thinking of yourself, and whether there was some kind of emotional element there that, you know, often in situations like this, we don't feel good about ourselves. So was there something that shifted as a result of the decision that you look at yourself in a maybe more compassionate way? If that is? Fair to say?

Jamie Fair  8:00  
That's a great question. So when I started meditating, and at first it was awkward, I had no teacher, I had no book, I just started closing my eyes to see what would happen. And, and I just kept doing it. It would be like an hour a day, sometimes two, sometimes three, sometimes four hours a day I would get into meditation, it was kind of like my escape. But during that process, I started realising that the me I had built up, the things that I felt were important about me, didn't matter, really, it really didn't make a difference whatsoever. And piece by piece, I began to pull those bricks out of this wall that I built around myself to say, Oh, this is why I'm great. Because of this, because of that, and I'd look at it. You know, after my meditation for a while, I'd look at it realise now that doesn't matter that doesn't, no one cares about that. I don't care about that. And I began to kind of pull apart this version of me that I had created. And I got to I reached a point where I felt lost honestly, for a while because I had to find myself and all these things that then I had torn apart. And then it was like, Well, who am I now? What am I really what am I doing here? You know, and all those big questions start coming up. And then I started to rebuild myself a brick at a time just one one piece at a time. I think you know what, I'm a kind person. And that would go at it would be a brick that I would build you know about myself. And I just kept doing that adding things that were real that matter that made a difference out there. And over time. It started to impact not only me inside, but I started to see the reflection on the outside world I really believe that's what it comes down to for us I saw a quote I really like and it said Consider for a moment that everything you think feel and experience in the world is a direct reflection of your inner well being. And that is absolutely true. I believe that you know with with every stitch of my body there in my soul that that's it that is a truth. And so as I began to change the me inside I began to see those change Doesn't the outside world and in my life began to improve externally as well.

Agi Keramidas  10:04  
That's beautiful. Let me go back a little bit with what you said with the meditation that you started doing many hours a day. What are you using a particular technique in in that meditation? Because you said you didn't have a detail? Or was it say isn't didn't you know what method of meditation?

Jamie Fair  10:24  
Yeah, no, that was, you know, without a teacher or a book to study, I just began to experiment and find what worked for me. So first thing I would do was that I didn't do it sitting, although that's the style I've learned, since I joined a Zen group here, but I would just lay in bed for a while became kind of confusing to differentiate between sleep and meditation and that, but I got pretty good at it after a time, but I find myself falling asleep pretty often. But you get better at it over time. And one of the things I would first initially do was just start at the top of my head and work, like, imagine there's an energy going into my body, that would relax and soothe that part of my body. And so I would just feel the muscles in tension, release, and work my way all the way down my body. That would get me into the state where I was less than my physical body, and more in my, wherever else we go.

Agi Keramidas  11:18  
That's great. Thank you there, the way you describe it, it reminds me very much of the Vipassana meditation technique where you pretty much scan your your body, like that. So it's always interesting, you know, with meditation, because different people experienced different, let's say, results, or states if you want or insights, I think it's probably a more appropriate word to use, because its date or anything else that you experience during the meditation is transient, and it will go away. But if there is an insight that comes as a result of that insight usually changes your point of perception and two changes, really your decisions and your actions. So do you want to share some kind of insight like that, that you had in your meditation experience that really changed your perception?

Jamie Fair  12:24  
Absolutely. One thing that kept coming up for me was old memories would come up. And at first I'm like, why are all these like things I had totally forgotten about would begin to surface and into my mind, and they were memories I'd forgotten about or long since buried. And at first, I just thought it was so odd that all these old memories were coming up. And soon I began to realise it was an opportunity for me to see them in a different light, see them differently than I had when they first occurred. And in my, I don't wanna say more mature, but in my wiser or not sure what the word is, I had a different perspective, all of a sudden, and I look back at that event that had happened in my childhood or during school work, you know, typically, things that I felt were kind of traumatic, or things that bothered me or stuck with me, and I would just, I had buried those feelings and those those memories, they would come back up again, and would give me an opportunity to see them from a different perspective. And I could see, Oh, I see where I learned something here. Or I see where I gained some value here, I see where I became more more empathic, empathetic, or more kind. And all those things from our past that we typically want to just shut down and not look at, again, I think if we can bring those to the surface and really look at them from a different perspective, we can see that they all have value that there was some reason that they occurred. And, as I did that, it began to change. You know, it's difficult to describe, but it became to change the inside of me because all those memories were what I was made of. So as those memories begin to shift and became different and more empowering, so did that inside of me. And confidence began to build inside of me, I began to feel more certain about me and my direction and, and loving of myself, which was, you know, I think the goal for a lot of this personal development work is how much do you love yourself, most of us, kind of beat ourselves up instead. So that's really what I gained a lot. And, and over time, once I had done that, each memory would keep coming up and keep coming up until I had I don't know dealt with it, we'll call it and as soon as I did, it would disappear and it would never come up again. So I really believe memories, things coming up like that for us during meditation or anytime where we quiet our mind our opportunities.

Agi Keramidas  14:43  
I want to take a short break from this episode and quickly let you know about something I'm sure you will find useful. We are drowning in information but starving in wisdom. This podcast for example, has almost 300 episodes and as you can imagine There is ample wisdom in them. But who has the time to listen to 300 podcasts. My mission as a knowledge broker is to convert this vastness of knowledge and distil it into wisdom into implementable insights. So I have created a free special resource for you, I have chosen the top 10 podcast episodes that offer the greatest value in three main categories of life. First, the top 10 episodes about money. Second, the top 10 episodes about health. And third, the top 10 episodes on mastering your personal development. This free ebook is a curated catalogue of those top 10 podcast episodes in each category that will offer you the greatest value, and in the shortest time to get it go to personal development, mastery. podcast.com/top 10. And you will also find the link in the show notes. Alright, let's get back to the episode. Like earlier on, you said that you use the phrase pull apart the version of you that you had created so it and you rebuilt it. And now you're saying about this memories again, you know, pulling them apart. And I can the way you were saying it in my mind it's came like us burden that we have or some you know, stuck energy, if you want to whatever you want to call it something that blocks a part of you that could be free it and it's great that you describe it like that, do you want to share one more insight, I like the way this convinces the direction it's gone.

Jamie Fair  16:51  
I think in a lot of cases where we set and this started meditation, but I saw it externally. When we set goals, they are often goals and dreams we typically look at like when I was a child, I wanted to be a leader. And yet I saw no possible way I could go from this, you know, scared, shy kid to becoming a leader of people. But I now through my experience, and through this work and meditation, I fully believe I'm 100% certain that if we have that intention, if we set that intention, or we have a dream like that, that yeah, we may not have the skills right now. But we will acquire them along the way life will give us whatever we need, the experiences, the challenges, you know, the things that we need to overcome in order to create those skills for us so that by the time we get to that point where we're ready to accept that we have built those skills up. So I think in a lot of cases, we set goals, we go oh, I can't do that. That's, that's outside of my scope. There's no way I could do that kind of a thing. But I want to encourage everyone to, to just go for those dreams, because you will get the skills along the way they will come.

Agi Keramidas  18:05  
You could didn't say that I'm going to use my own words for that I'm not putting those words in your mouth. But to me, it sounded like have trust, have faith in the journey that you're going to undertake, that you will be looked after? In a way you're? Yeah. And I think that's, you know, very the undercurrent of this notion. For me, it's quite spiritual in a way like that there is we are part of something bigger that there is a bigger plan, and we follow it. And when we do, let's say, walk on the path of our push. And I will say it's very carefully, then that unfolds the mystery that potentially wages and that's for the greater good. I don't know this just came up to me now to share I don't even know where it came from. I've never said something like this before. So it was great that you inspired me to to Hey, awesome.

Jamie Fair  19:19  
Yeah, I, I really believe that we are not given a dream without also being given the ability to make it true. Every dream whatever it is, you have you have the ability to make it come true. You just have to trust that you can get there and that you will get this acquire the skills you need along the way.

Agi Keramidas  19:36  
Absolutely. Do you want to somehow start merging what we've said so far, with the motivation that will send about you know, creating lasting motivation because it's of course it's one thing to what we're talking about to have the insights and really feel within you the the desire to change or even, you know, knowing what to do to change. However most of us, and we know very well that from that moment of decision, when we start taking action, there will be obstacles that have to be overcome with and many of these obstacles is that what we're setting out to do has, you know, takes us out of our comfort zone, sometimes we don't feel like it or life takes over. And so, in a way, the motivation, maintaining the motivation or building, I think you say creating the motivation is something, I believe essential. And so, I would like to, you know, breeds the topic towards there. So tell me about how do you perceive what I just said? And then also, what do you want to share about this topic of creating motivation?

Jamie Fair  21:04  
Yeah, so, I, those obstacles that come up that you mentioned, which always come up, I think they are intentional, they are part of the journey, and they are opportunities for us to grow. So those obstacles are there for a reason. They're not to get in our way. They're not to stop us. They're to cause us to grow and change, to reach that, you know, that thing that we're searching for, that we're going after, and motivation. So I don't think motivation just happens. Many of us are, we're waiting for that day when we feel motivated to go after our dream or to go after what we want. And I don't believe that's going to happen ever. Motivation doesn't just suddenly come upon you one day, it's possible. Sure. But I think we need to create motivation. So if you'll excuse the brief plug, I co authored a book called A journey of riches motivates your life. And in there, I wrote a chapter called Creating Lasting motivation that you brought up. And it is all about how you create motivation. And it starts with having one of those dreams, having something that scares you a little bit particularly those are those the best dreams, right? The ones who are less scary to think about. That's how we start to create motivation is by having a dream. And then having the willingness to go after it, even though it's scary, probably outside of our comfort zone. And even though we know those obstacles are coming. In that chapter, I'll talk about the three big detractors that happen when we decide to create motivation that's like, overwhelm, self criticism, and of course, fear. You know, fear is a big one. That's what gets in our way a lot. And, personally, I think that fears are meant to be pushed on almost always, if there's something that you want, but it's scary than on the other side of that fear is something amazing for you. And in my life, it was public speaking, I was utterly terrified of public speaking, I would have rather died than done public speaking or a podcast like today for him since, like, it was one of my two greatest fears in my life heights and public speaking. And yet, life began to happen. All these events started happening to me, where I was required to do speaking engagements over and over and speaking events. I remember a big one for me was, I started my job in leadership. And there was a company meeting and we were all listening to a couple speakers. And out of the blue, someone said, Hey, Jamie, would you come talk about that thing that's happening in your in your department. And I had never spoken in front of a group outside of my little meetings with my own team, which were scary enough, I had to get past them, right. This is that that growth thing, it starts out small and gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And, and I got up in front of all these people from this company, and I just completely locked up. I remember just like I couldn't, the words would not come out. I was so scared. And I keep people started a little restless because I couldn't say anything. And I realised like, I have two choices. I can go sit back down and be completely embarrassed for who knows how long or I can find some way through this. And in that moment, I pushed hard. And I forced myself to speak and once I got going, I was great. I was funny, people were laughing. But I had to get past that initial fear first. And over and over things like that happened. You know, I've worked my way up to doing podcasts and and then live podcast and then some live videos, but it just keeps escalating in my life. Regardless of where I am in my life. It just keeps escalating. And don't think for a moment that it doesn't terrify me because it does. I don't sleep a night before I stay up. You know I get sweaty during these every time but I just Don't let it stop me. Because what I discovered was on the other side of that fear is a love of public speaking, a love of sharing these messages that I have of these experiences that I had and how I can help others and their lives. So I really want to encourage people to whatever it is, whatever your fear is, to not let it just sit there, it's never going to change as long as you don't do anything about it. So I call it you know, wearing away at your fear eroding on that wall of fear. For heights for me, for instance, I will take opportunities to go do things that are well outside of my comfort zone, I'll tell another story, sometimes we have more time. But yeah, push yourself, just keep pushing that a lot. You don't have to do it a lot, but a little bit all the time, where that wall down, eventually it will be so low, you can just walk over it, like public speaking is for me, and you'll find on the other side is something beautiful, and something you're probably passionate about. And that's why that fear existed in the first place.

Agi Keramidas  25:57  
Indeed, on the on the other side of your fear, it is the something wonderful weights. And the fear is the obstacle that is put there to, you know, to test you. So we say from having it because it's not just given while it is given to us. But we have to, you know, open the door, as the phrases you're giving the door is shown to us, but we have to open it and with the two things One was public speaking in particular that you said is also my part of the fear in my personal transformation. You know, when I had my lightbulb moment, I say often in my story, and it is important and what I wanted to share really the other thing was what you you know, when you step out of your beyond, let's say past your fear, and you do that thing that you were afraid of, I think the the most important benefit you reap apart from the outcome that you get, I think the most important benefit you ripped is how you feel about yourself, your self worth immediately increases, you think, wow, I've done it. And that is for me the most empowering, feeling. And of course, the outcome is always also lovely to have. But it's that internal,

Jamie Fair  27:29  
I can do this, what else can I do now comes out, right? Yes. Right.

Agi Keramidas  27:35  
And it is that then the spiral of growth of personal development of growth and contribution and all this wonderful things it is like, but we have to put effort into it, it doesn't happen automatically. As a matter of fact, sadly, it's the opposite happens automatically. If we don't put their foot it's very effortless to go down, we will never stay the same we will go down without further. So

Jamie Fair  28:02  
let me share one more thing if I may about motivation, also, I believe comes and this is silly. But you know, a long time ago, someone discovered that, hey, if I if I give an animal a treat for doing something that continues to do that process, and it works. So well. We started doing with our kids, right? This is how I taught my kids we all did this, I'm pretty sure we believe in this carrot and stick method. Well, uh yet so many of us, we don't do that on ourselves. We do the stick method. And I'm sure we've all well, those of you who've ever raised a dog, you've seen other dogs who got the stick their whole lives, and they are not in a happy place. Right? They are beat down. They're not. They're not motivated. They're afraid of everything. So if we want to move away from that aspect and become more more empowered, then we've got to give ourselves those carrots, we got to give ourselves a treat. So we've got to reward ourselves, particularly overachievers, we hit a goal and I think all of us do this, we hit a goal and then it's on to the next goal. Okay, God, check that one off and on to the next thing, right. Okay, I got that. And we rarely take the time to celebrate those wins. And I think this is so critical. Because although you may not consciously realise it, there's a part of us. I read somewhere like 80% of teachers use a reward system in school too. So this is programmed into us, right? So why don't we just leverage this programming and start rewarding ourselves small rewards for small accomplishments, big rewards for big accomplishments. It doesn't have to be not something you buy but it could be going out to eat can be I'm going to go see my friend for the first time you know, whatever it is, but you really need to reward yourself and you'll you'll find that your mind will suddenly want to start going in that direction because it knows there's a treat at the other end. So I really am I encourage people to please reward yourself. And the same thing goes, Are you a taskmaster for yourself? Or are you a coach if you went out in the garden and you weed and it was full of weeds And you spent hours and hours reading the thing. And then you ran inside got all excited to tell your partner about it. They came out and they started going, well, you forgot that weed there and you kind of hurt that plan over there they started critiquing it. It just kills your motivation. You don't have no desire to do it again, right? You're suddenly like, oh, this big letdown when you want it to share. So are you doing that to yourself? Right? When you? How are we doing to ourselves, when we don't succeed, or when we slip up? Are we beating ourselves up, we're going, that's okay, you know, stuff happens, we're gonna do it again next time, you know, so you are a taskmaster or a coach with yourself. Because that's also going to make a huge difference in how your motivation is created, and how long it's going to last.

Agi Keramidas  30:41  
Thank you. And when you were saying about rewarding yourself, I thought sometimes even the simplest thing, which is to acknowledge and maybe you know, tap ourselves on the back and or look ourselves in the mirror and say, Well done, you've done something well done. So that even that is a reward. And I really like the way you present it because it really creates within us the desire to have more of it, and then we attract it. They may I would like to ask you to offer to us something actionable, you know, to for someone listening right now and to wanting to build on that motivation. Can you offer one actionable thing he or she can do, starting tomorrow morning to build more and more motivation?

Jamie Fair  31:38  
Yeah, it really comes down to and this is gonna sound woowoo to some people, but visualise what you want. And I know that sounds silly in this day and age. Some people are like, yeah, that's pretty woowoo. But maybe your listeners are different from most. But let me give you a real world example. I think everyone knows Michael Phelps, right? 23 gold medals. This guy trains 365 days a year, even on his birthday, he has training. And yet this athlete who has accomplished more gold medals than most people combined. He's his, his coach has him visualising two hours a day, every single day. So that's not an accident, right? There's, there's a correlation between what he's doing. He's visualising himself succeeding, I've listened to him talk about it. He visualises the perspective from himself. He visualise what's the perspective from the audience from the judges perspective from up in the sky, he, he gets brings in all the feelings he brings in all five senses about it. And then he also reviews what would happen if he'd lost his goggles or he fell behind, and how he would adjust for that. The idea being that when he gets to that point where something goes, arise something out of you know, unexpected, he's already prepared for it. He knows how to deal with it, because he's been visualising it. And that visualisation process, whether you want to call it the law of attraction, or setting your reticular activating system, you know, science or whatever version of you want it, this man has proof that it works. So I would encourage everyone visualise what you want, spend some time every day visualising it, set that intention, set your mind focused on that, because then your mind or the universe, however you look at it will begin to bring to you those things that will help you accomplish that visualisation to make it a reality.

Agi Keramidas  33:20  
Thank you. That's a very useful and very practical. I believe it's scientifically proven. And now it's not. I mean, if for someone who's woowoo, they really need to research a little bit more. I also remember Michael Jordan, that would spend time thinking that he's shooting free throws, like visualise and show it is all great athletes. Or not, maybe not all but many great athletes.

Jamie Fair  33:47  
They all do. The good thing about basketball players are before they shoot are they doing they're seeing themselves don't get it in golfers. So they swing right everyone does it all the profits do it. So why aren't we Yeah,

Agi Keramidas  33:56  
yeah, it's what Tony Robbins says create results in advance in your mind in your your mind size. So it is exactly that. So thank you. Thank you, Jamie, for that. I do have some quickfire questions to start wrapping this conversation up. Before I ask you. Can you share with the listener? What's the best way to find out more about you and connect with you?

Jamie Fair  34:22  
Yeah, I would say just shoot me an email. My email address is Jamie J am i e at fire up life. So F IR e li uses F IR e up li Fe Jamie had fire up life.com Please. Yeah, I'd love to talk to listeners, by all means, reach out.

Agi Keramidas  34:44  
Thank you. And let me ask you then a couple of quick final questions. And the first one is What does personal development mean to you?

Jamie Fair  34:54  
Personal development means to me being willing to go inside and make changes where we know they need to be made. And, and being willing to push through the obstacles, the fear, and this sense of worthiness that we often run up against when trying to make change.

Agi Keramidas  35:20  
And hypothetical, if you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give him?

Jamie Fair  35:29  
I would tell him when I told you earlier, that no matter what dream you have, it is possible for you to achieve it, just go for it. You are so much more than you think you are. And you know, wherever we are in the stage of life, you can be more you're you're not small. You are, all of us. We are huge. Yeah, I think that's, that's what I would tell myself. Don't be afraid. Just go for it. Man.

Unknown Speaker  35:57  
Jamie, I want to thank you very much for this fascinating conversation, I really found it absorbing and I hope that the listener has gotten something very insightful, from which of course, it will be different for different people. I want to wish you all the very best with your journey of growth and contribution and what you do.

Agi Keramidas  36:26  
Do you have any closing thoughts on today's conversation?

Jamie Fair  36:33  
Yeah, I want to leave people with the thought that how you perceive the world is how you're going to live. So Tony Robbins talks a little bit about this, but I saw it in my life as well. If there's a traumatic event when you're young, so let's say two different children, they both experienced a death in the family. And one child sees this as Wow, life is out to get me. I never know when it's going to you know, when bad things are gonna happen, I gotta look out, they typically will be overly prepared. In all cases, they're going to be just always paranoid looking for something to happen. The other child instead sees it as life is precious, I need to embrace every moment, I need to love fully and live fully because there's only so much life and life is short and precious. My daughter, she got diabetes when she was about 13. And because she felt so different from other kids, we end up taking her to a diabetic summer camp where all the kids are diabetic. And so everyone feels like it's just part of the routine. It's part of normal. And before I went to get the best advice I've ever gotten a guy who, whose child gotten diabetes at age five said to me, you're gonna go there, you're gonna see two different groups of parents. Excuse me, one group is going to be like, Why did this happen to us? Poor us, I can't believe this is happening. This is awful. The other group is going to be like, You know what stuff happens? Oh, well, let's move on. And you will see a massive difference in the Adjustment Levels of those kids. So life very much is about how we perceive it. And it will make all the difference in the world for you. So please, take life as a joy. You know, don't if you're waiting for external circumstances to change in order to be happy. You're going to be waiting forever. Find some joy in this moment. That's all happiness as as finding joy right now.

Agi Keramidas  38:23  
Thank you for listening, and I hope you got valuable insights from today's episode. For your free ebook with the top 10 podcast episodes that offer the greatest value in three main categories of life. Go to personal development mastery podcast.com/top 10. Until next time, stand out don't fit in