#146 Self-worth, helpful vs unhelpful fear, and working on the receivership instead of abundance, with Tracy Litt.

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Episode Transcript

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0:03  
Welcome to the personal development mastery podcast. I'm Agi Keramidas. And my mission is to inspire you to grow, stand out and take action towards the next level of your life. I interview leaders, authors, successful entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life. Tune in for two episodes each week and make sure you subscribe to get them as soon as they are released. In today's show, I am thrilled to speak with Tracy Litt.

Tracy, you are a leadership expert, mindset coach and spiritual advisor, you're often described as a powerhouse of transformation. Your book worth human is an Amazon bestseller. And in 2020, you give an exceptional TEDx talk about fear. You led the major movement in self worth consciousness and wild success for visionary leaders. And you are passionate about helping people break the patterns that bind them. So they can become the highest version of themself themselves and create the businesses and lives of their dreams. Race, it's an absolute joy and a privilege to have you on the show today. Thank you for having me, I'm so excited to be here. salloway, there are so many things that I'm raring rolling to go in to discuss with you. I would I would like to go back a little bit and get some kind of background from your from your story. And there was an element that when I was reading about you caught my attention. So I would like a comment from you. You said that in all the the turning points in your life, you heard a call from your higher self like an instinct. That's how I would explain that. And that really created that sense of choice inside of you whether to listen to that or not. So can you give me one or two examples of these turning points in your life? And how you're your instinct if we if you want to call it like that guided you towards the decisions?

2:32  
Yes, yes. And I love this question. So there were a few pivotal points in my life where my higher self really came through, right? We can call it an instinct, intuition, a higher knowing, you know, fundamentally, I believe and teach that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. And there is a higher level of you always there ready and waiting for you to step it up for you to make a next level self choice. And that version of you communicate with you if you're available, and you're able to get quiet enough to connect to him or her. So for me, one of the times was when I was crying on my garage floor, newly single mother with an eight month old baby girl, unemployed. And while I was in that moment of feeling my feelings, it was it almost felt like a whisper. But it more comes through for me through my body, right like kind of through my gut. And she basically reflected to me like you're either gonna keep being a victim here, or you are going to recognise that you were ignoring red flags, right? And that it's time for you to wake up to who you are and what you're capable of, and choose warrior over victim. And it was it was faster than that. But that's how I can articulate it so everyone can be with us. And from that moment, when you get a connection like that, when you get a hit, you must take action immediately. You must decide in that moment and an actual fact a firm rooted clear decision is the beginning of action. So in that moment, I stood up and I wiped the tears off of my beautiful face. And I said yep, no more. I'm going to build the most magnificent life for that baby girl and I and I am done giving my power away. And in that decision, I was able to take massive fabulous forward moving action Then she came back again, when I was a vice president of human resources, toggling about Should I go back to school to become a coach, I really know that I want to do more in the world, right, we've all had that kind of like nine, there's got to be more. And I knew that I'm gifted, and I have a lot to give. And I want to be utilised. I want to be a servant of the universe and be able to use me to, to really, really impact other people to show up for themselves believe in themselves and do massive things in their lives. And I was sitting on a balcony quiet away on vacation with my husband who was inside, dark out, I could hear the waves crashing from the beach. And there she came again, in this gut feeling of you're not willing to die like this, because I was in fear. Over if I leave my big job, what's going to happen? is a too much of a risk, am I going to fail? Is it going to be a huge mistake? What if nobody likes it? What if I suck at this, all of the normal things that we all feel and hear, because our minds are wired for survival, and I was about to go do something different. And there I heard her again, and I made a decision in that moment, I actually got up, walked inside and enrolled in the coaching school in that moment that I had been on the fence on for two years.

6:20  
I'm curious, did you did you have any prior, let's say connection with this intuitive feeling inside of you? Did you know anything about it? Or did it just appear and happen? And you knew it?

6:35  
Yeah. No, I didn't prior to my first real connection with with it feel it's more than a gut feeling. It's, it's really, it's this moment of extreme clarity that you need feels like a whisper in your body. Some people are then sometimes I've worked with actually like in here, right? And there are some other kinds of connections. And it's a knowing and really, it's your own deep down. What's the irony is is that your highest self lives in your deep down, which sounds counterintuitive, right? Because we've made our higher self and deep job for you know, you know, right now, you're listening to us, you know, right now, there is something you're not saying there is a big dream that you are letting fear went on and not taking action. Right? In your deep down, you know, when you're settling, you know, when you're ignoring red flags, you know, when you're shrinking, I'm playing it safe. So it's time to wake up.

7:33  
And let's start then there are out of all the things that I wanted to ask you, I want to start with something that these I believe it's a plague in many cases, what metaphorically speaking, and it's the our sense of self worth. And actually our lack of self worth, which is more often than not that what what is happening show? Can you tell me first of all, why do so many people suffer from this lack of self worth?

8:11  
Oh, such a big beautiful question. Because of our upbringing, because of society, because we're misinformed, because we believe the lies of our psyche. So I agree and believe that a lack of self worth and a general feeling of unworthiness is the truest pandemic of our lives. And everyone has this somewhere on the spectrum. So just know whatever you're feeling right now is so common. What we want to do is we want to take it away from being normal, right? Because common and normal are different. It's so common, because whether you were brought up in a household that was highly religious, and your religion told you, you had to earn your worth, which is a very common element, right? You have to earn your worth, you have to earn being good enough. Or you have a moment where you had trauma and let's say you're one of your parents abandon you. When you're a little child, you have no other option. You're you are all subconscious mind, let's back up a minute. You're all subconscious mind from the third trimester in your mother's womb, till about seven years old, give or take, which means you have no consciousness, you have no filter, you have no ability to pause and reflect. So you are just taking in everything that happens like a video camera that's turned on 20 473 165 days a year, and you're constantly making meaning your subconscious is making meaning out of everything. And the meaning that we assign when we're younger is there must be Something wrong with me. If I mattered, my father wouldn't have left. If I was enough, my coach wouldn't be yelling at me like that, right? If I was lovable, my sibling would want to play with me. Right? If I'm if I was enough, I would have been invited to that little girl sleepover party, and we internalise all of that. And then we grow up with that programming, we grow up with that, and then what ends up happening to exacerbate it and, and, and further embed it is you start to live it out, you start to have patterns that affirm it, you believe all of your thinking, and your thoughts, affirm it. And now it's become your identity. This level of I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not talented enough. I'm not short enough. I'm not tall enough, I'm not this enough. And the biggest message of the most important place to start here is, it doesn't matter what happened to you. It doesn't matter if it was big t trauma, a little t trauma, you know, who was present in your life, whether you received enough love or too much love, you are worthy, but as the basis of the work, you are worthy human. Why? Because it's your birthright. Because your birthright is that you are worthy, whole, lovable enough and abundant period. And you never have to do anything to earn that. And that's a really, really important thing that I want everyone to start to hear and embrace. And it's going to challenge you, it's going to challenge your paradigms, your mind might now like pay attention might be offering you Well, that's not true, because I suck at this or that's not true, because I'm totally not enough. what I'm telling you is, is that we're just a little misinformed. And when you understand mindset, it's highest level, when you understand mindset means mind and body mindset mean subconscious conscious, then you're able to recognise your beliefs are yours to change. And that it's time to dig a little bit deeper so that you could propel yourself further. identify those moments in time and start to shift your belief system into Oh, wait a minute, I'm enough. I'm worthy. Oh, I woke up today, guess what? You're worthy already.

12:25  
Now what?

12:26  
Because I'll tell you now, what are you going to spend the next 12 hours a week on, you're not gonna be able to play the I'm not enough game, you have no idea how much time you're wasting and how many things you're calling in, that are out of alignment with what you say you want? Because you keep focusing on you're not enoughness?

12:45  
Do you believe that also on top of all that we tend to associate our self worth with some external things like the money we earn or the or status or anything like that, that makes it even more difficult at times?

13:02  
Absolutely. Well, that's what happens because when we don't feel enough in you right, through our upbringing, and through our belief systems, that add new add to that a capitalistic patriarchal, collective thinking society, right? Where we are bred to think I am as good as what I have, I am as valuable as how many to do lists I manage, right, I am as good as how productive I am, then that affirms the unworthiness. Collectively. The idea is to recognise you have the agency you have all the power of your inner environment. And the irony is, is that the moment where you stop letting the outside influence the inside is the moment that you actually embrace your wholeness. And ironically, that's the moment where you're actually available and energetically a match for all of the beautiful external things that you keep striving for.

14:04  
Is that in a way, like saying, assuming personal responsibility for what's happening rather than anything external?

14:13  
Yes. 1,000% right. And it really has to first start with Okay, like just jump on the train. Beautiful audience, just jump on the train and say, Okay, I will believe you. I am. Right is to start there and tell yourself every day and write it on the mirrors that you look at. Right and, and and invest in yourself. This is what personal growth and development is all about. It is not a luxury we do we need to be really clear. It's not a maybe it's not waiting for some jerk dramatic, tragic catalyst to happen for you to recognise that your purpose here as a spiritual being having a human experience is healing and growing and thinking differently and expanding and instead I'd have that choice, everything around you starts to feel easy.

15:05  
If I will, I will come back and maybe I will come back to that Tracy way, if I when I crystallise that more in my head what I exactly wanted to express. There is one other thing and I want to ask you whether it is related to our self worth or not. And it is this reluctance of sharing successes or even the fear of success itself. Show, can you share your thoughts about that?

15:36  
Yes, I talk about fear of success a lot such an interesting topic, right? Because right now, you might be thinking, Well, that makes no sense because, like, I want the success. So why would I be afraid of it? Mm hmm. So, fear of success is both based in fear and based in lack of worth, because somewhere inside as you dig in and do fear of success, identification work, what you're drilling down to is I don't deserve it. Who am I to have that level of success? It's not safe to have it all, and be that happy, all at once. So it's, it's all connected?

16:16  
Sure, it's the same the fear that comes up disguised that fear that fear of success is disguised into other fears that are the don't they don't look like you're actually afraid of success, just these presented inside what's

16:33  
presented? And what really the most common components of fear of success sound like? Who am I going to leave behind if I continue to rise? what needs to change in myself for me to hit that level of success? Can I sustain and be that level of leader? Right? Will my family be upset with me, who's going to come asking me for money? Those are very unhappy. The interesting thing about that is, this is kind of bigger, we could talk about many podcasts on this. Nothing's real, unless you make it real. So it's very important to recognise that the identification of what's driving something like fear of success, once we identify it, it's yours change once you see something you can't unsee it. And then you get to go through and take it through thought work and belief work to go, Well, no, I don't, I don't need to be concerned about people coming to ask me for money. Because I have phenomenal boundaries. And I'm not responsible for how people respond to me. Right? And then you kind of debunk and break down those limitations, and then allow yourself to be successful.

17:52  
Absolutely. If it's all right, I want to come back to what I started saying then I want to know, know you were saying that personal development is not a luxury or should not be seen. Such it's a necessity and are spiritual beings having a human experience. I would add to what you said that if our growth and the evolution of our centre of everything around us as part of us is not the the whole point. And then what is I mean, we must grow. For me these synonymous with the purpose of being here, we can't be at the same level, we have to evolve, strive to grow, I feel there is maybe I'm only sharing how I feel it is I can't think of anything else more important.

18:54  
You are 1,000% correct. And I will share with you one of the principles that was taught to me when I went to coaching school years ago, you are either growing or dying. And I added to that, and there is no grey. Right? You are either growing or dying. So if you are not growing, working in yourself, nourishing yourself investing in you, that is the asset of your

19:20  
life,

19:21  
right. And it doesn't matter whether you are a corporate leader or a leader of your own company, or a stay at home parent, it doesn't matter what you do functionally, to earn money and contribute in the world. Right? You are the asset and you are the thing that's going to drive the greatest ROI in every facet of your experience upon Earth. So it is essential that we make this the norm. And if you are here hanging with us right now, what I know about you is that you get what I'm Saying, and you're either already invested or this conversation is going to tip you over the fence, and you are going to invest in yourself and your own growth, right? I mean, think about if we were investing in ourselves and really honouring what I'm explaining in our purpose, okay? Because our purpose gets confused. Our purpose is not what we get paid for our purpose as spiritual beings having human experiences is the inner work and the growth, our passion in life. That's a great that that, okay, be passionate, monetize your passion, get out there love it. This is my passion, this is what I get to do, right? But when you're growing, then you're also not so externally focused, you're not looking for the next thing, living under the conditional happiness model of, well, when I finally make it to that position, then I'll feel and I can relax. When I finally make x, then I can when this then why, right? Which is really no way to live, because you're just chasing an emotion and associate Association within yourself. That's actually available right now. Because that's how powerful you are.

21:15  
So let me ask a question and try to wrap up this part of the conversation about self worth. So let's say that the listeners would like to take a next step into improving his or health self worth, because they they are intrigued, and they realise more and more, what's one practical step or on action that someone can take towards that direction? Yeah, so

21:41  
I'm going to put two together, the first thing I'd like you to do is get posted notes or dry erase markers, and right I am enough, on your bathroom mirrors, put a post it note on your laptop, all the places and spaces where you look, put it next to your coffeemaker, wherever you spend a lot of time, write that on there. Because when you see it, you connect to it, you're gonna remember this conversation. And when you see it, just take a breath and let it in. I am enough. Okay. I am enough, okay. And then do a little bit of self discovery, right? Using this kind of prompt, what stops me from believing I am enough is just stream of consciousness, just write it out. And then observe the piece of paper look at and go, Oh, isn't that interesting? I don't think I'm enough. Because I, you know, got a D in this class. And I don't think I'm enough because I got laid off from that job. And I don't think I'm enough because, you know, I'm 20 pounds overweight, and I don't think right and just notice, I don't think I'm enough because my mother worked two jobs when I was little, just notice. And then we can start to do the work from there.

23:04  
I love this exercise. And it's very practical and also any exercise for me that requires you to look inside and verbalise or articulate some emotion, some thoughts is a immensely valuable. It's okay. And Tracy, I would also like to discuss about fear, which was, as I was telling you earlier, before we started recording, I really enjoyed your TEDx token, there was a there was a point that it brought tears to my eyes. So let's talk a little bit about not a little bit. Let's talk a lot about fear. And I will start my first question really is you say that everything we've been taught about fair is a lie. So let's start with this.

23:58  
Yes, and thank you so much. I told I let in how much you enjoyed it. And that's exactly what I did the TEDx for. So thank you. Yes, everything we were taught about fear is a lie. Because what we've been taught about fear is either very little, or that fear is a stop sign. Fear is a red light, right? And that when you feel fear, when it comes to doing different things in your life, you should just ignore it, push through, overcome it, yell at it, right like this brute force, very overly masculine approach to fear. And that doesn't work. Because whatever you resist persists, and when you try to tell fear, which is active in your nervous system and your nervous system is what is when I say mind body, it is your nervous system, we have an autonomic Like nervous system that is running this whole show from head to toe, right? So when you try to overcome or push through or ignore fear, you're actually making it louder and more pervasive. You're, it's like you're putting fuel onto the fear fire. And then ultimately fear wins, and your dreams loose. And there's no grey, you can start to keep score, fear to Tracey's desires zero, right. So it really that to understand that what is the most impactful, healthy, forward moving way to approach fear is to acknowledge it, understand it, for how beautiful it is, and then love it. So that you can do the things outside of your comfort zone.

25:58  
And that's a really common misconception isn't it's about fears that people try to ignore it, people think or believe it? Yes, as I said is the truth. Whereas it's only a warning sign that you're going to step outside of your comfort zone. I think most of the times, that's what it is about. So let me ask you about this as well then about the comfort that fear tries to keep us in. And of course, the growth that we were talking about earlier that is on the other side. And somehow you have to transcend that feeling of fear. Otherwise, you will always stay in that safe or predictable place.

26:48  
Yes, yes. And I love what you just said safe because I want to go somewhere else with them. You're always safe. Okay, so the first thing we do real quick is let's delineate between unhelpful fear and helpful fear, right? helpful. Fear doesn't exist in the world of expansion, personal growth, doing bigger things, making more money. helpful. Fear only exists when you're actually in danger. When you're at the beach, and you're about to go in the ocean, and you see a fin in the water and your fear response goes fin don't go in there, right? When you're going to walk home from a late dinner. And you're going to go to the left. And you notice two people in a dark alley and your fear response goes walk the other way. Right. That's beautiful, helpful fear. And now let's be clear, I've never lost a client yet to visibility or going after their dreams, were using their voice in their marriage, or setting a boundary or delegating with their team, right? So you need to let like, let it's really I love that you laughed because it's ridiculous, you're not in danger, you're safe, you're not going to die. However, the problem is, your system doesn't know that your system believes you're going to die, your system believes you're unsafe, because anything that is outside of what is currently familiar to your mind and body is immediately registered like a death threat in your mind. And then your mind goes, Oh my god, she's gonna die trigger the fear response. Fear now goes to work with all of the components of fear and resistance, and it starts to tell you sit down, you'll start tomorrow, do it later. What if you suck, it's too much of a risk? Who do you think you are? And little by little because you're believing all those thoughts. You sit back down, and there we go. Fear in mind one score your dream zero. So that's really what's happening in that moment.

29:00  
And, and it brings the conversation back to what I wanted to let you started saying about that earlier that it's not about fighting fear, or it's about changing the relationship with with fear and to remember in your in your talk, you pretended that fear is like a baby and you've held it up and spoke to it. And that was a great way, you know, shifting of the paradigm of looking at it as not something that is dangerous to us or our enemy, but something that just requires our attention and we can choose to either give it another shot or say thank you. I got you I understand what you say thank you for keeping me safe, but I would rather do that despite Your your warnings? Yes,

30:03  
yes, yes. And you know, where we need to start with that is the new understanding of fear, which is Thank you, you're doing your job. Your fear responses job is to keep you alive. Once you take a breath in the morning, your mind says, Yes, winning. It doesn't matter what you do the rest of the day, it just, it's like it's succeeding, right? So we want an amazing fear response. I'm so grateful that my fear response is doing its job, and it's doing a phenomenal job. I hang out with my fear every day, we just the lit factor just started our certification programme. We have huge things coming up, I'm always afraid. Right? And it's and it's good, because I recognise that fear is always showing up to just go, Hmm, I think you're going to die from this. And then it's my responsibility and your responsibility as the being with all the power as the being that has the fear response, the fear response doesn't have you. You have the fear response for you to say to yourself, hmm, hold on, love that fear. acknowledge it, breathe. And say, Thanks for showing up. I know you think I'm going to die from this. Because you think I'm going to die from everything. Right? It's like a hypochondriac grandmother, right? Just sit down next to me and send me some love. And we're gonna do this thing. Yeah,

31:33  
yeah, I remember the one of the best analogy say, Hey, have you ever heard about fear, it's like, it is the century of the sheep always on the lookout for what might be wrong or the iceberg. But we are where the captain, we still have the power to stick to the direction regardless of what the century will say. And I want to ask you, and it was one of the things that you shared in your in your talk, and it was a very simple way to really change immediately or in a few seconds, our state and what to do when that fear response kicks in. And you're talking about coming back to the breath show? I would like some more comments on that, because I think it shows so useful.

32:29  
Yes, I agree. So we have the power to self regulate, right, which means interrupt our nervous system, and regulate up or regulate down. For the sake of this conversation, we're talking about regulating down, you don't need to be more jacked up, you don't need more energy, when your fear responses present, right? What we want to be able to do is we want to so when we're in fear, our sympathetic nervous system, our sympathetic state is activated, right? That's our stress response, fight, flight or freeze. And what we want to do and what you can do, like that, is interrupt that jacked up state and drop down into your parasympathetic state, which is your rest and digest, you're chill, you're calm, you're everything opens up to you from that state. And we can do that by putting our hand on our heart because when we touch ourselves, we communicate to our systems. You're safe. Okay, right. And, and Fun fact, when we touch ourselves when we hug or get touched, feel good chemicals are released. Right? So I often laugh with my clients and students and I say just buy some glue, and permeate your hand right here because we're just going to keep moving outside your comfort zone. So we do that. And then we breathe deeply. We breathe in and out of our nose, flagpole breathing, I call it Some people call it box breathing. But any change in the rate depth and pattern of your breath will work. Making sure that your exhale is two counts greater than your inhale will interrupt and you breathe in beautifully and nice and deep through your nose. And the important thing about this is that you breathe into your belly. If you are breathing right now and your shoulders are going up and your chest is being raised, then that's actually exacerbating the sympathetic state. We're not looking for that. That field. That's panic, attackee that exacerbates anxiety. What we're looking for is a breath so slow and deep. That your belly goes out. When you breathe in, and your belly comes back and you breathe out. You do that a few rounds mindfully. Slowly, you'll interrupt that fear response and it sounds like this in your body. here okay. Okay, you're totally safe. Let's go be everything we can be in the world. Right? And then your body's like, okay, and off you go.

35:14  
That's a wonderful description and advice. Let's say, though, I think, silence that some or many may find is becoming aware enough of the fear that he's taking over in the first place and breaking that into a consciously start in a breathing exercise, because you know very well that it unconsciously sometimes it might be hours before you realise that, oh, I have been taken over by that stream of thoughts or sensations, and I've been behaving at the top of my sympathetic nervous system. So any tip, any practical way to realise that? Oh, okay, let me do that breathing now, rather than being carried away more and more before we realise it, if if we realise it the thought,

36:12  
yes, there's two things I'd like to give right now. One is, breathe consistently throughout the day, no matter what, it is imperative that we build your awareness muscle, that we build your ability to be the non judgmental observer of yourself. So we do that by starting to breathe consistently. And then you notice the moments where your system is jacked up again. Right? So that's the first thing, it's building that awareness through breathing intentionally. The second thing is observe where you're not doing the thing you said you wanted to do, or you're not doing the thing that you know you need to do, that's going to make the difference. For example, being visible in your business, right? Getting on and doing Facebook Live, or making an invitation for someone to work with you. If you're not taking that action. I can promise you fear is at play.

37:14  
Thank you. You're welcome. 30s, it is such a big topic. And I'm thinking there are so many things that we could talk about more with the feared I will share, because I mentioned earlier that your spirits brought tears to my eyes. And if you'd like I want to share where exactly it was when you started writing that letter to fear. And you said you're you're owed that. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. But I want to do this. I want to have an outstanding life. And I think that was something that really stirs inspiration in people in the suppose. From the feedback you heard from the talk. I don't know if that was the moment for me, that was the moment that really made a big, emotional solution. shift.

38:12  
Yes, I feel you because I could have in that moment, completely broken down and spent the rest of the TED talk crap, bully, crying, I teared up, and I'm getting better at monitoring that because I very freely feel my emotions, right. And that's exactly what happened. I, I was feeling paralysed a bit in my business. I went out for a run. And while I was on the run, I had this epiphany moment where I was like, Oh, my God, fears not the problems. It was blaming fear. I wasn't so afraid, which is part of how we misunderstand fear, right? Like, it's, it's against us. And oh my gosh, right. Fear is not the problem, you're the problem. It's not fear, it's you. And that's when I came home and open my laptop and it flew out of me. You know, dear fear. It's not you, it's me. And that's how I started to shift my relationship. So I feel that emotion. That too, is where I, every time I practised my TEDx right at that moment, I would just break down. And, you know, it's, it's something I invite everyone to really do. And you can actually find the whole exercise everything in my book where the human because you're the problem and the solution. We have a whole chapter on fear. And I guide you through writing your own letter. It is such a liberation is such a powerful moment of decision like we were talking about at the top of our talk, right, getting into action. It's such a first step to saying you know what, I'm not going to let you be more powerful than me anymore. I understand things differently now. And I'm in charge and here's how this relates. chip is going to go down. Yeah, it's awesome. Yes.

40:07  
And let me ask you something else also trace, which is a bit, not a bit, it's of the subject that we were. But it is something that I did want to ask you and TTS something and now I'm going to be speaking specifically or you will be speaking specifically about women. And there was something that I read that you said that there. I will quote you on this. You said that the most overlooked quality, blocking abundance for women is the inability to receive. So do you want to explain that for me? I think I understand the way that you mean it. But I would love to find out. Why is that more a women thing rather than a man?

40:58  
So through our upbringing, our society, you know, everything we mentioned before, women were messaged and influenced to be biddable, be agreeable. do for others, make sure you give, you know, if we pull up a newspaper article in the 1950s. All the steps of being a good housewife are about make sure you do this for your husband, don't share how you feel, don't ask for anything, right? Like basically put some lipstick on and breathe. And that's about what you can do. And in the book, I talked about the drip process generationally, right things that happen are great grandparents, into our grandparents into our parents into us. So for women, it is not that many years ago, were these were the messages and the limitations that were thrusted upon us. And receivership, which is the topic you're asking about is all about asking for help, saying what you need, letting in the support, receiving from others receiving the love the praise, the resources, the money. And that is in such opposition to how women were brought up in our world. So that's really why it's more women. There are men to that have beautiful work to do around receivership. But that's specifically the answer what's relevant for women. And I'll take it one step further. The reason why I love that topic, and I'm so glad you brought it up is so part of our birthright is our natural state of abundance, right? We look around in the world, there are billions of blades of grass and tonnes of trees, and there's money is everywhere. And there's plenty of air to breathe, and re there's all of this abundance. And when we want to access more of that abundance, we tend to try to work on our abundance. But the problem with that is if you're working on your abundance, you're acknowledging the absence of the abundance. And that's the energy that you're sitting in, which is what's blocking the abundance. When you work on the receivership, and you work on becoming a better receiver. And when someone offers to do something for you, instead of saying I got it, you say yes, thank you. That would be wonderful, right? And that's a tiny example. And you start to access and work that receivership muscle, then your abundance naturally opens up because you're saying to the world in the universe, I'm open, you can come you can give me more you can help me I'll take your resources and your support.

43:41  
It also relates back to the self worth we were talking in the beginning 1,000%

43:45  
everything does. That's why it's the underlying mission. When you stop playing the I'm not enough game. That's when your life can begin.

43:56  
That's awesome. That's fantastic. Thank you, Tracy. I would like to also ask you some quickfire questions?

44:04  
Yeah, let's do it.

44:08  
The first one is what does personal development mean to you? Even though you said you mentioned something earlier already both.

44:17  
Personal Development to me is the highest level of inner freedom you'll ever have.

44:24  
And let's say that you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self. What's one piece of advice you would give her? Oh, my God, you were always smart enough. You were always smart enough. Yeah. Let me ask you one more hypothetical than let's say you have a magic wand and you could wave it and change something in the world as it is today. What would you change

44:55  
the big 102 say two things, I would change the pace that we all operate under are way too constant, or way too fast. And I would magic wand everyone into an enormous amount of compassion for self and for everyone around us.

45:19  
That's wonderful. That's and what do you say that way? You say that they reminded me of the parasympathetic that you were saying, breathing and slowing down? Yeah. And emerging from all this conversation we had I know that there. There were, I asked you earlier on about some actionable items. And you've already offered some but if I were to ask you to give to the listener, one more actionable item, something they can implement straightaway or tomorrow and make an incremental improvement in the life, what would what action would you recommend?

46:05  
So I just want to review this one, because it's so important start to grow your awareness, you cannot change what you do not notice. So that has to be the first action, there is actually no ability to take further action. If you're not prioritising you're noticing, and then start to pay attention to your body. Before I can even bring everyone in two thought work, start to pay attention to your body. What do I mean by that? You're going about your day, and you're fine. And then you're doing something online, and you feel your energy and your body get tight. Right, or you feel your heart rate start to rise. Your body is what communicates to you, your body actually becomes the guidance system, to identifying changing your thinking, start to pay attention to your body and get curious, oh, my energy just dropped. My body just got tight. What's that about? maybe grab a pen and paper writes, write out the narrative that's running around in your head about it. And you'll start to gain a level of awareness of yourself that allows you to do further work.

47:22  
Thank you. You're welcome. To see what what's the best place for people who want to find out more about you to connect.

47:31  
Yes, the lit factor.com. And it's Li TT lit with two T's. And on that beautiful website, you will find blog articles and videos. What would she do.net which is on there, which is my free gift report audio training to take you to connect with your future self. And all my TEDx is there, the book everything's on there.

47:55  
That's great.

47:57  
We, I tried to cram as much as I could say, see from this condition. So

48:06  
I went from a little bit from topic to topic, I hope, I hope I did it in a way that makes sense to the listener. Is there is there anything that you were hoping that we would talk about, they were completely missed.

48:21  
And not at all, I thought this was beautiful. And it felt great to me. Whenever I am gifted and honoured enough to come into someone else's space like this. I trust I know the conversation is going to do exactly what it needs to do. And it's going to hit on all the points that the beautiful listeners are going to resonate with. And I know that we're going to have amazing changes from all of you that are hanging out with this.

48:46  
Fantastic, fantastic Tracy, I want to thank you very much for your for your time for sharing your wisdom and insights with us today. All the very best with your mission and your life of course. Any last parting words?

49:03  
Thank you first to you. This is an absolute pleasure and your energy is wonderful. And the way you got to this conversation felt so great. And for everyone that is listening and you're included. You are enough. You are worthy. You are lovable. You are deserving. You are whole. You are abundant. And everything you want. Once you allow it. It's safe to have it all.

49:38  
I hope you enjoyed listening. If you have please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to know more about what I do, visit my website agikeramidas.com. And until next time, stand out don't fit in!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai