#168 The philosophy and lifestyle of Intentionality, the path of fear vs the path of love, and deciding how do you want to feel today, with Finnian Kelly.

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Episode Transcript

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Welcome to the personal development mastery Podcast. I am Agi Keramidas and my mission is to inspire you to grow, stand out and take action towards the next level of your life. I interview leaders, authors, successful entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life.

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In today's show, I am delighted to speak with Finnian Kelly. Finnian, You are a world renowned keynote speaker on intentionality, a philosophy and lifestyle that helps everyday people create extraordinary futures. You are known as the business mystic because you breed science and spirituality to help leaders step into their own magic. You have been featured featured in National Geographic Business Insider Forbes and more. And as an entrepreneur, you have built and exited three multi million dollar companies in the financial industry. You are on a mission to bridge the gap between money and spirituality and you find much fulfilment by inspiring others to embody the intentional lifestyle. Finnian water What a joy it is to speak with you today. Thank you. Same here again, I'm really excited about where we're going to go, I feel an energetic connection. And let's bring it

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we do.

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And and I'm going to we're going to go deep into intentionality because it is something that I'm newly introduced to as well. So don't have much knowledge myself.

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Before we go there, I certainly want to discuss some elements of your story because I started telling you a little bit earlier just before we hit recording that there. There is a part of your story that really strikes me and I think many people resonate with that or will resonate with that, because it is something that they strive for all their life towards something. And I don't want to spoil it into, you know, sating my words, but I want you to take us back into that time where you had

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achieved all you know, the materialistic success, you were financially free. You were saying you were in your dream house with the love of your life. So I'm saying that because I believe that are many people who want to go there. But take us back there and just paint the picture for what happened and how things changed. After that, Fenian. Wonderful, so I'll take you back. It was the start of 2017. I was in a dream house, I was in baby Creek, Colorado skiing, 100 days a year, I'd recently sold my second company, and I really achieved my vision, we I've been living an intentional life. And my vision was exactly to be doing what I was doing. And what was interesting was once I achieved it, I realised this wasn't my vision. It was a conditioned version of my vision, basically, my whole life. And this is pretty much with everyone's life, we are just getting programmed from a very young age. And we're not aware that we are not the coder, someone else is the coder. And we go through life. And we think where we're making our decisions, we think we have our beliefs, we get attached them we get to

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certain parts of our life, we make the next decision, thinking that it's going to lead to this place of wholeness and fulfilment and joy and peace, and we get fleeting moments of it. And for most people, the rat race just continues because they never actually achieve their vision. But for some people and this is why it's not a new story is blamed plenty of other people out there like me who have achieved their vision and they get there and they go, Wow, this was not getting the feeling that I that I thought I wanted and you realise in some regards your life has been a big lie, because you have been conditioned to to want something to to and then your your beliefs condition then you have these thoughts which are condition which then drives these behaviours, these actions, which ultimately leads to a feeling of just needing more because you're still not whole and that was definitely the case for me. And that's when I realised and it ended up really being my worst nightmare ending up being alone in a house after my wife have left me and feeling complete. Lack separation, abandonment, all my childhood wounds. They came

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out and played out because that's what happens they eventually come back out for you to grow. And in that moment, I realised Okay, I've been here before in some regards, but I've avoided it. And now I have no choice it's it's either I face this once and for all, or I'm just gonna keep repeating the cycle the rest of my life and that's really which embarked on my path of intentionality to what I ultimately want to say to take back control of my mind I that's that's really what it was about is take back control of my mind. So then I could really get clear on what it is that I wanted, what's going to bring me fulfilment and then really live that extraordinary life and I'm very happy for years forward that I'm now doing it but it was a it was a journey. It was a pilgrimage.

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I like very much what you said about your

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your vision, not been your vision, but a conditioned version of your vision by society family and and I think that's a very common, very big misunderstanding about who is really taking the decisions, as you said. So it's a great point two to make.

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One other thing I wanted to ask about this, this transition is what you said that everything came up resurfaced, I suppose you mean, you're what would say, the dark side or the demons?

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So

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how, when, when you realised all these were coming up, and you had to face them? How did the decision come for the pilgrimage, as you said, then that will allow you to share that story as well? Because I think it's, it's fascinating, beautiful question. So initially, it was in that situation where I realised while I had those two pathways, one pathway was out of really fear, it was ignoring the facts, it was thinking that I had to protect myself,

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distract myself from the pain, because it was just gonna be too hard. And there was definitely moments there where I was questioning each day, how do I get through this day? And then the other pathway was through love, love would be to really discover how do I love myself? What is what is the inner story that's going on for me? How could I let more loving and even though like so much love has just been taken away from me. And I realised in that moment, I have to choose love because that that is the pathway that opened up more possibilities, the fear pathway, didn't it feel great in the short term, but it wouldn't feel great in the long term where the love pathway might feel really challenging in the short term. However, it created so much opportunity it was infinite it was it was abundance infinity. So I started exploring things and starting really going in and looking at everything that could have contributed to where I was in that moment. It was it was that radical ownership I really focused on Okay, what what have I done, I can't focus on my, my wife in that moment, I have to focus on what contributed to this moment of why I'm feeling this way. And I realised that's where I questioned everything, because I thought I had it right. And now I was in this state, and I realised, ah, some of those beliefs were not mine at all. I was just conditioned and and past consciously, I knew I wanted one thing, but subconsciously, I had a programme operating, which just put me into conflict. So that sent me on a pathway. And then I look at, I listen to synchronicities to signs, and I knew I wanted to do something which would really help me symbolise this, this transition in my life. And I started to seeing signs for the Camino. I had three in one week, I watched a film about the Camino. It was in a magazine I just picked up and I never read magazines. And then someone else mentioned something. And I listened to it and I got three and I was I was like, maybe I'm meant to go do the Camino, which is a ancient pilgrimage, cross, the width of Spain, starts in France crosses the Pyrenees, and then goes all the way across the width of Spain, which is 500 plus miles, 800 plus kilometres. So it's a big journey. And it was a very intentional act for me. I knew that by creating a container where I had myself, I had nature, I had a pathway that other people have walked on, I didn't have anything to really worry about besides walking.

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There was chances of possibilities of perhaps transformation will come. So even though I didn't know what would happen for me, I just knew something would happen. And I feel like that's a beautiful gift that came for me. It's just creating space for intentionality. And I really want people to, to think about that is are they creating space for intentionality, because it's this space where you get to really discover who you are and when

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What matters to you? And what really are your beliefs and what really are your values and and to start questioning and that's what definitely happened for me in the Camino is that I just questioned everything. And I did so much forgiveness every day I was forgiving, a different part of my life and a different behaviour that I've done, and different ages of my life. And it was it was tremendous, and I do symbolise it, that period of the transformation and there was definitely other moments. That was a very symbolic moment. And, and we are creatures of symbols with the whole look at every spiritual lineage, any religion, religious schools, everything, we have symbols. So we need to create more symbols for ourselves so we can anchor on so I can come back whenever I'm challenged myself, I go back to that camino. And I remember, and I feel it, and I'm like, Oh, that's right. I've been here before I know what to do. I don't need to regress.

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That's awesome. Tell me was that during this pilgrimage with? I suppose it took you quite a while? How long did it take you from end to end. So we actually did it too quick. I was with my brother. But actually, I said I had nothing to do. But I had a business which we'd sold and we're in a legal battle over. And it had to go back to Australia on a particular date, the day before my birthday for a court battle. So I had 24 days, and most people normally do it in 40. So we were doing very big, big dice.

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And then the funny thing is, I got to the end, and literally arrived at Santiago having a glass of red wine to Cheers. And I get a note from my ex wife saying the judge has been removed. So it's been delayed for another few months. And I was just like, Okay, can I keep teaching

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during these, these periods, and was this any moment that you would consider to be a complete milestone, like from them, everything else was different in the way that you were perceiving things. There was. So there was a lot of intentional moments, I used markers. Every time I came, like, Don't ever forget, I was climbing up on the first day across the pure knees. And it was dark and gloomy. It was misty, we couldn't see anyone in front of us. And we will only people there because we'd started so late, like when we actually went to the pilgrimage office, they laughed at us, they're like, you can't do this. Now. It's too late. Like, you have to cross it all in one day. But we were young and competent. So we did it. And we started walking up and I came across a shrine that was someone had passed on the Camino. And they put anyone who dies on the Camino, they actually have a cross and a little shrine. And it was a very powerful moment for me, I I member just standing in front of it, and just taking it in and honouring the journey, the decision for that pilgrim to even start the journey, and what they must have been going through, and then what I was going through, and then the fact that they didn't get to complete it, but they had the courage to start it. And I just really honoured that moment and realise that this was bigger than myself. It was, this is why so many people have walked this pilgrimage, because it was all about getting connected. Yes, you're there for your own journey. But it was actually connecting to something bigger than yourself, regardless of your, your spiritual or religious beliefs was all about connecting, I think that's something we can all agree on. There's something bigger than ourselves, but sometimes we forget that. So I realised in that moment that I wasn't alone. And there have been other people exact same situation as myself. And that makes life a lot easier. When we when we expand out. When we realise we're all interconnected, suddenly you don't feel as alone. And that's one of the most powerful acts of self compassion that we can do is just expand out. So use that continuous labour time I'd say shrine of Connect, think bigger, and then I'd have these little markers as forgiveness activities. But I there was one particular moment where everything changed. So I'd say that why I'm saying bringing the first bit is is that it was these intentional acts, which I believed enabled this moment to happen. And we're in about day 19 we've just walked there's a period, which is it's pretty brutal. It's like 80 kilometres over the desert, and it's just flat and you just walking into the sun the whole time, and you think it's never going to end and that just breaks you down. And we just completed that and we moving forward, and my body was actually starting to break down for the first time I was very strong. I was doing big days. And before it was all in my mind where most people struggle physically at the start. I was struggling in my mind. I'd gone through the mind struggle, my body had now just physically broken down.

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In that moment, I was just focusing on just one step in front of the other. And I wasn't thinking about anything else, I was just sorry present, I was just almost broken my it was to get to the point where I felt like my spirit was starting to break. And what's funny is your spirit comp break. And in that moment, everything changed. Suddenly, I felt this rush of tingling sensations coming over my body, I started looking out and everything was just bright tingling on fire, I feel connected to the trees, to the birds, everything I felt connected to every living thing on this earth. And I just had this wave of love just fly through my body it was the way I could describe is one time I had an operation where I had, they actually overdosed me a little bit in love with morphine. And then they injected not I think it's not cane or something like that into me adrenaline into my heart. And it, it reversed all the pain, all the all the narcotics to breathing in. And suddenly I had this flood of pain just go flying through my body. And it was just the most horrible sensation, but it felt like I was alive. It was the loving version of that, suddenly, it was just roof. And everything was open, my heart was open. And it was the first time where I connected not in a analytical theoretical way, but in a full body way to the divine, to universe to source to something bigger than myself, whatever it is just whatever you need to connect with. And that's when it all changed for me from that moment, I knew that this is exactly where I needed to be, this was my path. And I there was nothing, there's something in me that could never die. There was something in there that was bigger, and that was my spirit. And the soul was still connected to that, which was my unique reason why I was here and this, this is why I had to go through this. And, and I knew that in that moment that will make sense in the future. And it's all starting to make sense now because I get to share it with people like yourself.

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Thank you. Well, actually, I was about to thank you for sharing this beautiful, beautiful and fascinating story. And then, when I was reading about it, there was this description of a divine moment in your pilgrimage. And now that I've listened, the way you describe with this, if I can use the term spiritual awakening, which

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it's

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an experience that really, once one transcends themselves and fails to connect the connectedness with everything else. And

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I will really want to ask you from their own from having this amazing realisation.

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And of course, you're finishing your pilgrimage. How did you change what you were doing afterwards, when you go back to your, you know, previous life that was waiting for you? How did that change you and mainly, I want to ask you in terms of the way you were thinking and acting rather than other things first, and then we will talk about the other things. Wonderful. So what I love about the experience I had, it was a somatic experience. So when we have a somatic experience, it's not just in our head, it's in our body, because our head just twists things in. We use cognitive dissonance to twist beliefs. And we can just get into this loop, a closed feedback loop. And often if it's a negative loop, it's just gets compounding worse and worse and worse. That's why we see ourselves going down this hole. So having that somatic experience was such a gift, because then whenever I'd find myself slipping without getting into the head place, all I had to do was start breathing and get back into my body. And it was that there was a spark there, there was something there that I could connect with. And I would and it's why I love symbolism. So I remember I consciously chose to sit down on this park bench, there was a bench it was just there and sit with a tray to my left, there was a building of the front which had a big mural there was a son sitting there and I remember just going like just embody this like sit there because you're going to come back to this moment so many times so often people think that they need to be in a physical place to have the experience it's like no you don't have to you can go back you can you can teleport yourself into any place anytime just by getting into your body. So that was a big change for me was realising that whenever I was getting to that place of fear or lack or scarcity, I could come back into that moment. And then I realised what I did and this is really where intentionality came from is I needed some some guiding posts some signposts to almost think of as like rails to keep me on my path if I ever started drifting

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Cuz I had this moment on the Camino where I actually got lost, I got lost quite a few times you don't have a map, I didn't have a phone, you just follow these little yellow arrows. And if you catch it quick enough, you can find your way and get back on the path really quickly. But there's one time where my head was so far down, I was just in my in a story, but I walked miles, and I have no idea where I was, and I got really, really lost. And it was that moment where I realised, wow, I lost my way. And that was a big aha moment for me, because that's what happens in life is, it's not good enough to find your way, you've got to get on your on your path as well, you've got to find your path and get on your path. But most importantly, you got to stay on your path. And I realised in life, it's very hard to stay on your path because other people are interfering and connecting with you. And if you don't have some rails, some signposts and boundaries, you're going to drift off. And that's where I went on that journey to go, what am I? What am I principles? What am I signposts to, to ensure that I stay on that path when sometimes I drift off, and that's really what I applied. And then I created seven principles of intentionality. And, and that's where I'm at, I'm sharing it with the world, but really, it was out of my own knees. I was like, I never want to get to that place again. I'm no, I'm going to make mistakes. So what's going to protect me what's going to keep me in alignment. And that's what I come back to, to every single time. And I just want to touch on the, on the divine experience. Yes, that divine experience didn't happen by chance, there was so much commitment by myself, just to keep showing up every day, doing my practices, doing meditation, breathing, believing that there's something good and better than like, bigger than myself in those times where I just wanted to feel sorry for myself, and pretty much just not feel like it was worth living. I had to keep showing up showing up and showing up. And then it was at that moment where I just completely surrendered that it came. And I I believe there is a formula of how to get there. You just have to show up and believe we already believing in something, which perhaps isn't true. So what about just believing in something which is possible? And this is what I is a kind of remember the philosopher but there's a there's a way it's like, even if you don't believe

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it's better to give a chance of possibility. If it's something really great, like why would you if there's something there and this is what something I did if there's something bigger than us some powerful being Wouldn't it be better just to give some possibility to it and believe in it because what it does if you were wrong, and that was given you would feel a little bit perhaps a little bit silly that so that's that's how I live my life. Now I don't get attached to any belief too strong, and just go Okay, what's what's possible, because every day I get surprised.

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and I think what came to mind when you were saying that was the also the fact of the physical exertion and you use the word surrender, which I think is the key word in this experience because you need to let go of something in order to experience this and that's something it's that idea of who we are.

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Yeah, the physical is important. We

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Sometimes people on the spiritual path they they abdicate from their body or they just they're just so floating up here they're in the in the spirit area, but we are in a physical body as well it's a it's a it's a portal for us it's it's a temple, so we need to be connected and realising that where we're really three parts were the, the body, the personality side of ourselves, there isn't this the soul which is eternal, which is has that unique purpose of yours, and then the spirit, which is oneness connection, and we actually have all three parts of us in in all time and I think I know for myself, sometimes I got too caught up in one particular area and I didn't realise play with all three and that's why even when I'm doing deep spiritual work, I'm still very playful and light hearted and and laughing because I realised that's the human existence, but there's a part of us as well. So literally, it's it's it's a lovely game, if we see it like that. When can we I would like to ask you then about intentionality itself? And

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if you were my first question is in in simple terms first, can you describe it how you mean intentionality, and who should be interested in in that constant. So intentionality for me is defining how you want to feel, and then taking deliberate action towards it. It's that combination of vision plus action. So when, when you just hear that this is a universal thing, like everyone should be interested in this, if you if think about it in life, if you don't have a vision, then what action Are you taking, it's someone else's vision, you're just part of them, and, and you're just on default. And unfortunately, there's most people, more people in the world have less vision, and they're taking action, which isn't aligned with it. And then think about if you have this great vision, but you're not taking any deliberate action towards it. What are you going to be feeling you're going to be feeling frustration, and anxiety and feeling lack and because you're not actually doing anything to move it there. So you've got to do both. And that's that was part of you look at the intentionality of the Camino, I had a vision, I had a vision for transformation. That's where it was really focused on the healing for growth. And then the action was, well, I'm going to spend a month and I'm going to walk across, and then the combination was the output. That's what I got. It wasn't I didn't know exactly what it was. It was flexibility. I wasn't too rigid in my vision. I was a discipline because I showed up every day, but I wasn't rigid. It's very important behaviour, her intentionality be disciplined, but not rigid. And then the magic happened, it was like this beautiful recipe. And that's where I really want people to get connected with this is this, this is your, this is your ticket to freedom. This is your ticket to an extraordinary life is realising that where you're at

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is completely your choice, completely your choice, completely responsibility. And if you don't like where you're at, the great thing is you have the power to change it, you really, really do, every single person does, you first have to have some awareness and realise, wow, I was perhaps had some programming in me that wasn't really working for me. But that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It was just I had some faulty programming. But well, now I get a chance to actually decide what programmes I want to put in. And for me, I don't everyone, it's why I say find your path and get on your path and stay on your path. Because it's your path. intentionality. These principles are just signposts, they're just some guidance, they're not dogma, it just may help you discover your path and find it then stay on it a little bit more. But the most important thing is is it's your path. And I don't care what it is, it can be 180 degrees different from mine, all I care is that it's extraordinary. And you feel so much peace and joy and love and freedom with it, then great, it's working for you. But if you're not feeling those feelings, that's an indication that something's off something in your vision or your action is not aligned. And and that's your that's your indication. And then all you have to do is have freewill and decide I'm going to change it but that's the bit which people aren't willing to do they feel like if they acknowledge it, then they then they take on full responsibility and then they're going to be put into too much shame or guilt and and it's just like let it go. Just it's just accept it and then move forward. It's I always say forgiveness sets you free. But acknowledgement is a gift to someone else. So when you when you this is something I had to really work with I had I had a lot of challenges in my life I had a challenge relation my parents and my body and the on the Camino everyday. I just chose something to forgive

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What part of me was I going to give, uh, who was I going to forgive. And I felt free now, there was no connection to that other person, I didn't need to speak to that other person, by me forgiving myself in that moment, I set myself free, it was an absolute gift. Now, then you get to decide whether you want to acknowledge your part, in a relationship to that other person. And that's a pure gift for the other person. It's, it's so remarkable when we acknowledge someone and our role in it, it's it doesn't, I think a lot of people are scared to do it, because they feel like suddenly, then they're going to realise that they're going to like that person is going to leave me that that person already experienced it. You're just connecting, it's just an opening to just acknowledge Yes, I understand how my actions contributed to the way you felt, what a gift. And if more of us just did that. And it was just be connecting us throughout the world.

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You you said earlier, and I'll come back to that. Because you reminded me of with what you were saying that at some point, you had to choose to go to the path of love, instead of the path of fear. And I think I'm bringing this in because it

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goes with some people you were talking about many people who

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you know, they need they know they need to change something, or they're unfulfilled or whatever it is. And that's really a plague I think of modern society. Many people strive for the wrong things and without even knowing and we talked about it earlier.

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Can you expand a bit more on this chosen law, the path of love and not the path of fear in the in particular with someone who wants to change the direction or do something different in their life and listening to this now? Yeah, it's it's it's Principle number one of intentionality. It's such an anchoring, when it's experienced peace and joy, by learning to choose love over fear. And I say learn because from a young age, we were conditioned to choose fear. It was always like, don't do this, this is gonna hurt you. Be careful here. It was, it was our parents thinking that they were protecting us. But at the same time, they were teaching us about fear. And that's and that's where if you listen to the toltec wisdom, they talk about domestication, we're coming domesticated to this life of fear. And for me, what happened was, even though I had achieved my vision, there wasn't peace or joy. And this was my big aha moment. I had been living with intentionality, everything I have done my whole life, there was an intentional act. The problem was the basis of that vision. So that vision that first part was from a fee based place. I felt abandoned from a young age I felt like that was always going to happen I felt no one is going to take care of me there was no one supporting me I had to do it all myself and had to prove in order to feel love. Think about that. It didn't matter what would happen if my base foundational principle was that then it was always going to feel bad because lack breeds lack scarcity breeds scarcity. Fear just breeds more fear.

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And that was my moment where I realised everything needed to change because fi wasn't working for me. There was only one other option there is only fear or love there's the the two prime emotions you can't be in love if you're in fear, and you can't be in fear if you're in love. It's it's one or the other. And I realised I've been in fear so how could I choose my love? And what that did, it makes you realise that there's something it's connecting to something bigger than yourself something more powerful, powerful energy force. Because love is so much more energy it's a high vibrational feeling. Fear is a low vibrational fearing fear. All you need to do to help people realise this is look at there's been studies of weightlifting when people go think it's like trade a story, I'm not gonna be able to lift this and they do say negative things to themselves beforehand, their weight lifting abilities 30% decrease to someone who's just like I'm amazing love so powerful, and they lifted up the same when

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these mothers suddenly do these extraordinary acts like lifted car off their kid, I can tell you, it's not fear, fear what would have happened if they did fear they would have paralysed they would have stayed in the same place and not acted like a lot of other people to the side. But because they just have this overwhelming love. They tapped into something bigger than ourselves, and they lifted up this car. So we know this. We see this throughout our life. But still, we use fear. We think fear is a good motivator, a good driver. We gave that up in the school system in the 1960s we got rid of corporal punishment, which is fear and show I realised that didn't help learning so why are we doing it to ourselves all the time. So what it does for you naturally when you start

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Choosing that feedback to your question about what if somebody wants to change is it's just asking questions like, how could this be easy? What would this look like? What do I need to do to take to bring more love into my life? That was one of the most powerful questions, journaling questions over did, what do I need to do today to bring more love into my life. And sometimes it was like, I need to forgive myself for this, I need to forgive the other person, I need to go work my body, I need to eat nourishing foods. And when you start doing this, and start tapping into that heart centre, the Wisdom is just flowing, because it's not you, there's something coming through you. And then it will always take care of you always guide you and enable you. And that's where I just say with these things, is just try it. Try it, you don't even need to believe it. Just this is the great thing about intentionality, because it's an action based philosophy.

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You just need to take the action. And then what happens is, you start seeing some progress, you start getting a feeling of like pride, accomplishment, growth, which then creates a new belief, perhaps this is possible, which then creates a thought the next time a positive thought, you might entertain that positive thought, rather than the negative thought, take that action. And before you know it, you've created a positive feedback loop. And your life has transformed overnight. And I see this like I'm, I'm working with, I work one on one with a handful of entrepreneurs, I just love it, it's it just fuels me so much. And it's the way I really create, like, keep testing different parts of the philosophy. And I work with people and they're like, one's going through a marriage breakdown right now. And I just kept focused, he was just very focused on the fear of the loss. And what's going to happen, I just went once, once this, perhaps could be the greatest moment in your life. And this actually is going to serve you. And if we look forward, and I did this exercise just recently, we look forward 30 years, and you're there you're in you're in this relationship you're feeling love you feeling connection, you feeling proud, proud about yourself, and it was all his words. What does this version of you need to do now? What's the action you need to take? And even though there's fear, but what would be the loving thing to do? Because you know that it's going to end up the way, and then it just frees them? And they suddenly realise, all right, I've got to stop focusing on her. And I'm just going to focus on myself. And I'm just going to work out how I can become a better version of myself. What How can I love myself more. And things just start happening? 30 pounds gets dropped in a month. It's quite remarkable. They they give up addictions, things start happening, they so thought that they had no time in the workplace. And suddenly, they've got all this time because they're just like, well, this isn't as important as what I thought, I'm going to empower someone delegate leadership to them, and then suddenly, they have all this time. So that's where I say, this can be the greatest moment of your life, because suddenly all your belief structures that you're operating on, can just get blown away. And that belief structure that you need to work harder to make more money can be dropped away, perhaps you don't need to work harder, perhaps if he actually allowed things to happen, it could work, it will get incredible results. We perhaps that story that you needed all that materialism to to bring more love into your relationship doesn't matter anymore, perhaps actually, you're seeing the beauty of the simplicity. So it just has this snowball effect. And that's why when I talk about the paths of intentionality, there's four pathways. One is direction. Another is love, and other is prosperity, and another is wellbeing. And think of a compass, they're all directional. And if you start on any one of these pods, they lead yourself to your true nature inward, that inner place. And the great thing is you might start on the prosperity path, and then you start seeing that it flows on into your relationship into your love path. And then you start realising Ah, well, if I'm loving myself more, maybe I actually want to eat better and nourish myself, my well being path starts flowing in. So they're all just different pathways. Just like a clamshell on the Camino. There's different routes, they all lead to Santiago, they all lead to San Diego, which is the true nature. That's how we can see intentionality is to start one place, don't try to do it all start in one place, whatever is the easiest for you and you get it the low hanging fruit. And before you know it, you're going to wake up and you're like, here, I was focused on my love relationship, but boy, I'm crushing it in business, because I'm using the same communication methods to improve my relationship, my love relationship that I am with my colleagues and my employees or employers and everything just changes and that's what I love about it is you don't need to actually know exactly where you're going. That's the great thing about it. The vision is how do you want to feel? It's not a goal. It's not a I want to have this amount of money this house this amount of these family members. It's literally how do you want to feel in relation to your love path for me. I want to feel peaceful. I want to feel pleasure

40:00  
And I feel courageous. I don't know where that's going to be I don't know how what my family is going to look like. But I can seek that out every day I can go well, in this moment, I may be being playful. Am I being peaceful? Am I being courageous? When this moment where I get triggered something from my past triggers me, am I being courageous. And what that does is it just drives action in the present moment. And that is liberating because suddenly you have possibility you have choice. You can feel that way every day, you don't need to wait for some arbitrary arbitrary milestone in the future. You can feel it now. And that's what we want to be doing. Because life is not linear. Life is just one. It's all happening right now. And we can't be thinking about the future, we need to be in the present. amazing

40:46  
feeling and talking about action. Since you were in demo, I'm always big on given to the listeners actionable items to do it, I think it is much more important than if the conversation leads to one or two things one can take away No matter how small because I know very well as we would like you how important the power of compounding of a small actions that we repeatedly do. And because you were saying, how do we want to feel? Which is a great question. To ask ourselves, I read that you have a simple action, a simple habit or daily habit only a few seconds to really change the way that you fail. And I want you to share this with us as maybe an actionable takeaway for someone.

41:38  
I love that because you don't need to, there were things here, especially if your belief structures aren't aligned with this, there's going to be resistance and irritation. And that's okay, that's normal. But there's a part of you which is listening because you you want to be open to this. And that's where I go, don't don't just trust what I say just try something and actionable thing. So I'll give a few. So first thing in the morning, I open up my eyes. And this is the magic because in overnight, you've been dreaming, new neurons are being created. And that whether they live or die depends on whether we give them positive energy or negative energy. So I don't want to remember who I was yesterday, I want to create possibility for today. So first thing in the morning, I just forced a smile on my face. Naturally, most times, I wake up with smile. But however the last month I've been going through a bit of a challenging time in my life. And I really saw the power of this because my natural state, when I first woke up wasn't happy, it wasn't a big smile. And I just put this big smile on myself just 17 seconds. And what happens is the great thing with a body in the mind, when you put yourself into a smiling place for your body, eventually your body starts releasing chemicals, which then gives you this rush of I am happy. So that's already hijacked today, you're already in a better place. And while I'm doing that, I'm just setting that intention for how I want to feel that day and I connect into one of those different pathways. So this morning, it was all about like, I want to feel unencumbered. I want to feel creative, and I want to feel grateful. That's all about my prosperity today, I have a very focused creation day. And so I'm there and I'm feeling those emotions. And I'm like, Well, what would that feel like right now? And I start seeing myself go through that day. And this takes 20 seconds. Like it's absolutely nothing. And then I've already set a vision for the day. And then I'm starting to think well what actions do I need to take? Well, I just I don't think about task list. I just think about well, when moments happen. When I see a problem, I'm going to choose to be creative when when I see something which I don't want to do. Because it's a bit frustrating. I remember I want to feel unencumbered. So I'm going to do that action, I'm going to do that bit of paperwork to get it out of there. And then when I whenever I have any opportunity, I'm just going to be grateful, and it's going to be grateful. So I just keep thinking that and that's what I'm doing. I'm positively programming myself, and then I give myself a chance to get it. And then at the end of the day, I reflect how did I go against my intention? And I give a quick writing against one to 10 and it's not to say that it doesn't matter. Like if you get one It's okay. But the most important thing is well what did I learn today? And if I had a chance again tomorrow, what would I do differently? And now we're bringing awareness to the situation you went Whoa, I realise I've must have a programme operating because I reacted a why I did not want to react that was not in line with my attention. So what is that and you have curiosity on it. You send it with love, and then you get another chance tomorrow, just that if you just do that combined with a breath, one breath. Before each moment, that's the most important thing. If we breathe is another act. Every time we see something we get triggered. Take a breath. What that does is it just puts a pause it it

45:01  
In that moment, we can ask, am I operating out of love, or I'm operating out of fi right now. And you'll know, you'll get an answer. And that could change everything. It might stop you from saying something really mean to a loved one, it might stop you from making a

45:19  
difference, dangerous investment decision, it might stop you from

45:24  
not reaching out to someone who you really want to reach out or go out for that business deal, whatever it is, and then everything changes in your life, probably do those three acts, and you're living a life of intentionality. And you'll get you'll be a different person in 90 days, I really well. And then there's all these other things, but just do them. And you're good.

45:42  
I certainly agree with these are so powerful things and so simple, yet, they just need some discipline and effort to do them. I love it. I love it. Thank you Fenian. And I would like to ask you also some quickfire questions to start wrapping things up. So the first one I always ask is, what does personal development mean to you?

46:06  
personal development to me would be looking inward, and discovering what programmes you have running and whether they're serving you or whether they're not, and then consciously deciding to write new programmes.

46:21  
Beautiful you said, and, and let's say you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give him?

46:33  
Just love,

46:36  
love, love, love. And trust, that you're on your path. It's gonna be it's, it's hard, I actually don't even want to give advice. I just want to just hold him and just hug him and just say,

46:50  
You are great, you are worthy. And I love you.

46:53  
Thank you. And one more hypothetical question. Let's say you could wave a magic wand and change something in the world as it is today. What would you change?

47:04  
Oh, that's magical.

47:06  
It's a magic wand. Yes.

47:10  
So for me, what I would change

47:14  
is

47:19  
I would love everyone to have the tools. That's what I realised I look back in my life. It wasn't that I was a bad person, or that I did anything wrong. I just didn't have the tools at that time. So if I could wave one thing is that everyone would be given these tools at a very young age, to help them lean into love, instead of fear to have clarity around a vision and what action they need to take, then then I really believe we would just completely evolve as a as a race.

47:51  
Just curious. So give me an example. When you say tools, give me a couple of tools, that way you define them so I can understand what you mean. So that tool of the morning and evening routine. And now the tool would be to be able to process emotions. Actually, that's probably the one I would love the most. If we were taught from a young age actually how to clear emotions, feel emotions and have energy, then we wouldn't have any of the problems in the world. There would be no wars, there'll be nothing because we're actually just realise that we're a beautiful, perfect love beings. That's the one.

48:25  
So through

48:27  
Fenian, how can people connect with you and find out more about this wonderful things that you do? Wonderful. So we've created a dedicated page, which for the podcast listeners, so if you go to my website, which is Fenian Kelly to ns infinity, Fenian kelly.com forward slash podcast, there's some great free tools. I've actually listed out the tools there so you can start that path. And then you'll get onto it. And then my Instagram is that finian killing.

48:59  
That's beautiful. Thank you very much Fenian. I really want to thank you from my heart for this conversation. Your message is very, it's both very warming heartwarming, I mean, and it also makes sense, I think in different layers or different levels. So I want to wish you all the very best with your mission or your missions and it is amazing what you're doing, keep keep working towards contributing. This better word that I think we all envision having

49:40  
any last parting words from you? Well, thank you so much. Auggie. You have a beautiful spirit about you. It was very easy to be open. But I have one final word is you're only one breath away from intentionality, and intentionality is the pathway to an extraordinary life. So get on your path.

50:04  
I hope you enjoyed listening. If you have, please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to know more about what I do, visit my website Aggie keramidas.com.

50:20  
And until next time, stand out don't fit in!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai