#171 Consolidating the knowledge (2. Story telling, deep listening, mastermind groups)

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Episode Transcript

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Agi Keramidas  0:09  
Welcome to Episode 171, of personal development mastery podcast. Today is the second time I'm doing this kind of consolidating the knowledge episode that I spoke about in the previous podcasts. And again, in order to have some context, what I will say is that I have realised after having spoken with over 100 people now in my broadcast, that many of the things that were discussed in things that were actually actionable implementable knowledge, the things like I would say, that's something I can integrate into my own routine and into my life. However, I realised that many of those remained us thoughts and ideas, they never became actions that were never implemented. And this consolidation episode episodes are about revisiting some of the previous episodes and picking specific ones and begin actionable items from from each of them. So if it is something that you hear, and it resonates, you can just pick it up and start doing it. And I will carry on this journey because it's also a journey, for me revisiting all the previous episodes. And I will be sharing some specific actionable elements that one can take and implement. And today, we'll revisit episodes seven, and eight. And that will start with episode eight, which was my conversation with David Saville. David is a trainer, a coach and a professional storyteller. And one of the things that we talked about with David was storytelling. And he defined storytelling as simply being able to communicate your view of the things that happen to you to another person in such a way that you communicate what it meant to you. And this way you can connect with the other person. And essentially, he was saying that storytelling is connection. And it's not about using eloquent words, either. It's about communicating the emotions in the story, what matters to you, and why it matters to you in the story. And that is, what it's all about sharing how you feel. And he also said that storytelling is not about what we've done. It's about who we are. It's not about what I've done, it's about who I am. One more very, very interesting observation that David made was that if you don't control your stories, by speaking to people sharing who you are through your stories, if you don't do that people will make their own stories about you anyway. So it's better if you control the story and get really good at telling the stories get really good at being a storyteller. Because this is something that we we always do tell stories

Agi Keramidas  3:53  
are some of the practical tips that David shared that we can do to improve our storytelling. One was sharing your emotion. And you can actually it helps when you tell the story to feel that emotion that you are describing in the story. The second tool or thing we can do to improve storytelling is to to share why we care what it means to us within the story, what the story means to us. And the third thing is to go first. Don't wait for people to open and share their vulnerability first. Most people are waiting for someone to lead instead. And if you go straight in and share something honest and vulnerable. It's like you're opening your heart and sharing something that means something and Maybe it will not resonate to everyone, some people will not resonate. But the people will that we will it will resonate with, you will click with them with the right person or the right people. For again, reiterating the first thing to do to become a better storyteller is to share the emotions behind them what we feel about the story. The second is to share why we care about what it meant. And the third was to go first. One other thing that David discussed about his a very, very important topic was listening deeply. And he spoke about the usual way that people listen to other people. And I will let David share the way that most people listen usually.

David Saville  6:03  
Because what active listening, at least in the people that I've spoken to about how they do active listening is they're actually thinking and questioning and then an endeavour interrupting someone when they're listening, right. So most people are not good, they're not good at listening, because they're doing something in sight. And if you're doing something inside, it's, it's like, if people don't, don't appreciate this, but if you're thinking out in your head, right, while someone is speaking, it's the same as if you had someone's loud voice in your ear, whilst you're trying to listen to someone else in your other ear, right? That's essentially what most people are doing all the time when they're listening, they might be thinking what they're going to say next, they might be thinking of what to ask what all of that is stopping you actually hearing the past. And so one and most one of the most, one of the most prevalent problems in society today is that people are not being heard, because they're being interrupted.

Agi Keramidas  7:01  
And asked for the way that David recommended listening was to listen to the other person, as no one else exists as nothing else exists. As if what's been shared with you is the most important thing that you've ever heard, and have also a deep silence within yourself, if you notice yourself, thinking, being distracted by thoughts, bring your attention back and focus it to what the person is sharing with you give your deepest attention to the person. And when you do that, there is a much bigger opportunity of connection or a deep connection with the other person. So we don't really need to think about what we will say something will emerge at the right time when we need to share it and they will also share it. And he called it an anti sign it's a you know, when you feel an urgency that you need to say something and interrupt the other person, that is a sign that your ego is triggered by something and you are about to unnecessarily interrupt that version. If it's really that important, you will remember it and you will discuss about it later when the person is done. So always keep in mind that the sense of urgency to say something, he says sign, usually to not to do it. David gave me a very interesting answer when asked him about what does personal development mean to him. So here it is.

David Saville  8:53  
It's like you don't need to do anything, which personal learning is about doing a lot of the time, right and you don't need to do anything. Just one thing only. And that is to be deeply honest, honest with yourself, and honest with the people around you and the things you're doing. Because if you're deeply honest, guess what's going to happen. You're going you can't hide or deceive yourself from what at what life is like. And you're going to feel that deeply. And through the feeling deeply. You're going to you're going to do things, you know, you will know what to do. Even if you don't know what to do, you'll know to ask someone to help you know what to do. Right? That's when you seek out coaches and mentors and trainers and stuff right? If you're just deeply honest with yourself.

Agi Keramidas  9:35  
And I will conclude the first part of this episode with David Saville, with his answer. When I asked him what advice he would give his 20 year old self

David Saville  9:49  
out it would be to just take the risks. Do not get caught up doing anything anyone else told you to do. Whatever you feel you want to do, go and do it. You're probably going to fail at it, fail quickly fail big, enjoy, enjoy the failure because you'll, you're going to fail in life, if you can, if you can start to own and that what failure is, which is truly a deep a deep experience of life where you get to find out who you are and what your failings are and what more you need to learn. Just get fail as many times as you can towards something that matters to you.

Agi Keramidas  10:29  
And the second episode, which I will revisit today is Episode Seven. Josh Tapp. Josh is a fellow podcaster running the successful show lucky Titan. And we talked about podcasting, we talked about masterminding the benefits. And when I met Josh, and we had that conversation, we were both members of the knowledge broker blueprint, the system by Tony Robbins and Dean graziosi. And there was this connection between both of us being a knowledge brokers and podcasters. And also on a more sentimental note, Josh was the first person who interviewed me for their own podcast. So just as a as a as an observation. So in our conversation, we talked about podcasts a lot. And here is Josh saying something that if you ever considered doing a podcast yourself, you will find it very interesting.

Josh Tapp  11:35  
So early on, I found podcasts really realised how important they were for me, because it really helped me retain knowledge better. And so when I've always wanted to do and when my mentor finally said, that's what you need to do, you need to start a podcast, I did it. And that was what paid out for us because it was something I'm very passionate about, you know, even coming on shows like this. And I'm a talker, obviously. So it's good to just kind of get on there and meet great people and have amazing conversations make good friendships like

Agi Keramidas  12:07  
another topic that Josh and me discussed was mastermind groups. And again, I will let him share his thoughts about the importance of being in a mastermind group.

Josh Tapp  12:22  
A lot of people don't understand the value of it until you actually attend one. So the really the concept of a mastermind, it's really not very complicated, but for some reason, it confuses people. But the point of getting together in a mastermind is you get anywhere from five to 25 people in a room discussing, really what's working and what's not working in a certain area of their life. And your whole goal is to get feedback from other successful people or other people who are going through challenges like you. And that's the power of it is you know, the concept is, if you have one mind, you have one mind working on the concept. But if you have two mind, two people in a room, you actually have three minds, you have yours you have the person you're working with, and then you have a third brain that gets created, which is called the mastermind. And it just becomes exponentially greater when you have about 10 people in a room.

Agi Keramidas  13:14  
Josh also gave me a great answer to my question, what advice you would give to his 18 year old self. And he said that the number one thing he would advise would be to take risks, because there is so much preconception in many people about risk that is scary that it's hard. But Joe said that, for him. Success is a model of taking more risks. So if you fail, take five more risks, and then you will succeed. So very interesting way that he put it. So these were my reflections and actionable items that I acquired from these two conversations. And again, I will share that the purpose of me doing these consolidation episodes on Thursdays will be to convert knowledge into action which can lead to a transformation. I said before repetition is the mother of skill and execution is the ultimate power. It's not known let's show I hope you found this useful. I'm looking forward to your feedback. So you can go to my website, I geek era mirrors.com and sent me a message through there with your feedback. I hope you enjoyed listening. If you have please share this episode with someone who you think would benefit from it. If you want more inspirational and actionable no legs, join my facebook group personal development mastery. The link is in the show notes or you can type bit.ly/pdmgroup   and until next time, stand out, don't fit in!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai