#214 Reinvent yourself, be open to change, and offer your gifts to others, with Zoe Rizokosta.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

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Please note, while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present. No part of this transcription can be referenced or reproduced without permission.

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Zoe Rizokosta  0:00  
I needed to find something that would give me motivation again, I didn't feel motivated to do what I was doing. And I have to say here that I, I know there are women, that the household, their family and raising their children, fulfils them and make them feel amazing. And I really support that. But for me, that was not enough. I needed to, I needed to have more, I needed to have more expanded, you know, life and content of life.

Agi Keramidas  0:46  
You are listening to Personal Development Mastery podcast, where you will find both the inspiration to grow and the actions to implement towards your next level. I am your host, Agi Keramidas, and my mission is to inspire you to stand out and live your best life. I interview thought leaders, authors, entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life and offer, through their wisdom, actions you can take and implement. Tune in for two new episodes each week and make sure you follow the podcast to get the episodes as soon as they are released.

In today's show, I am delighted to speak with Zoe Rizokosta. Zoe, you are a certified life and Mind Body nutrition coach working with women who deserve to live an empowered, fulfilling and joyful life. You are a native of Greece, and you currently live in Amsterdam, having experienced the ups and downs of expat life and raising a family in two different foreign countries. You are one of the co-authors of the book, tap into your power 21 lessons to help women conquer their fear and reinvent themselves, which reached number three on Amazon. And you are passionate about exploring different cultures acquiring new knowledge and relaxing under the Greek son when you're there. Joey, welcome to the to the show, it's a pleasure to speak with you today,

Zoe Rizokosta  2:32  
I'm thrilled to be here is because we finally make it after so many attempts. And it's good to see you in general.

Agi Keramidas  2:41  
It took us a while to actually manifest this. But that's great. And that will say straight away, I actually want to say two things ones. One is because both of us are Greek and most of the conversations we've had in the past, and I will explain in a moment how we know each other. But most of the conversations we've had were in Greek. So sometimes we will call each other with the Greek name, sometimes with our English version of the name so that that's fine. You sometimes Roy or other times, Zoe, and I'll briefly mentioned how because we've known each other now for over two years, we are parts of the knowledge brokers, that movement with Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi. So just share with me one moment from that period or, and then we will bring the conversation more to the present. But it's I think it's important because we've known each other for a

Zoe Rizokosta  3:42  
while. Right, right. First of all, I want to say that although we have never met in person, I feel I know you I feel we have talked about issues that sometimes I don't even talk with people that I know in person. So I feel we're connected. And that's one of the things that always inspire me how you can connect with people without meeting them in person. So yes, we met two and a half years ago through knowledge business blueprint. And for me, that was a phase that I was transforming. I wanted to find my place my niche that we say but but it was not exactly that they just wanted to find my place as a coach as a person that wanted to support others. And and I was looking for like minded people that we could connect mastermind and inspire each other and I immediately spotted you not only because you were Greek but because I like the way you were. I liked your energy and the way you were speaking you were talking so eye contact with you and The rest is history.

Agi Keramidas  5:04  
And it isn't. At the end, it's so much that has happened this last two years, the COVID included, but so many things have changed and evolved. And you said about not having met in person. And I realised that more and more nowadays with this digital age that we have the ability to connect as human beings. Even if we are 1000s of kilometres or miles apart, we can still connect and infill, many, not all of the all of the aspects that you have in face to face, you know, interaction, but many more many more than, you know, we would think, a few years back, and that's probably something that has changed very much over the years.

Zoe Rizokosta  6:01  
And may may add here it that, for me, this opens up a new whole area of possibilities, actually, because you can connect with people, you wouldn't even have the chance to back then when you know they they online was kind of supplementary to the face to face connection. Right now you're really and truly connecting with people that are soulmates. And they might leave, like you said, miles apart, you know, in the other end of the world. So for me, this is magical. This is I am really a big supporter of online connections.

Agi Keramidas  6:49  
Me too, when it completely obliterates geographical barriers and things like that, that we were so much more used to. Before so sorry, I would like there are some things that I what I really wanted to speak with you about today. And for a while now that we've been arranging this conversation, and I will I want to start briefly by going into your your journey, your life's journey and the unique experiences that we have is that you had during that. And I will just give a few highlights here because it's you know, it's a journey. And but I will give some highlights that I've I've found and tell me which one resonates. And maybe which one, you think it's more relevant to this conversation and share your your thoughts on how you change through that. So the highlights ahead was from a small town girl with strong conditioning in a small town in in Greece, going to a corporate executives in Athens, going then to a trailing spouse and stay at home mum in Germany first and then the Netherlands. And then now to a business owner with international clients, so many transformations there. Yeah, I would love to you to pick the one that resonates more and share some elements of it with me, please. Sure.

Zoe Rizokosta  8:29  
I will pick the one that was more, let's say by Votel for my life and which sparked let's say the change or the transformation that started within me. So exactly as you said, I was I was in a I was raised in a small town in Greece. So the life I have right now was never as an option in my mind back then. I'm very grateful for that, by the way. So the the point I choose is when I moved from Greece, to Germany. So there was a whole set of changes that happened back then. I had the job of my dreams. I was saying that I was the communications and fundraising director in Greenpeace grace. It was a job I loved I was very passionate about so I had to quit in order to move. My second change was that I was a new mum. I had a daughter, which who was 10 months old back then. And you know very well that in Greece, children are raised collectively. You have your village to raise your child so I was always thinking that that's the way I would raise my my girl and I go was totally inexperienced, I didn't know actually what to do. So I was always depending on my mom, my friends, my mother in law and everything, but I had to leave my environment and then go to Germany, where I couldn't speak the language. I didn't know when,

Agi Keramidas  10:18  
shortly thereafter, just to make a clarification here, someone who's listening. So you went to Germany, because your husband had a job there. And you followed him? Yeah. So I think that's important also to have.

Zoe Rizokosta  10:31  
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a very conscious decision, and it was taking before the Greek economic crisis. So we just wanted the adventure. And my husband back then wanted to open up his horizons and try something out of Greece. And so of course, that's why I love this term, trailing spouse, because you're going with your spouse wherever he or she goes. And, and yes, that was the second change, I was talking about that I was a new mom. So I stayed at home with the baby, not knowing anyone. And the third huge change actually was that I, I left my, my familiar social environment behind. And I went to a country that the culture and the way of thinking and acting is totally different. And I didn't know back then that this would have such a big effect on me, because my way of communication of connecting with people was different than the culture that was around me. So this was a big shock. And all these factors just I was under a shock for a long time. You know, I was I was frustrated I was, I can say that I was depressed, but I was very close. And fortunately, my optimistic nature always saves me last minute. And I figured that out, finally, but that showed me that what I thought was me, my identity, the elements that I that comprise My identity, were all had to do with external factors. You know, my job, my social environment, I was a woman that was earning money. You know, I had my own, let's say, financial presence. So always collapsed, didn't exist anymore. And I, you know, I was struggling to find who I am. And that's what started the process of digging, starting digging inside after I get over the shock. And so that I would like to highlight that this face,

Agi Keramidas  13:05  
I think it's very important and the topic of identity is certainly something that I want to go into more detail with you there was something you said also about the the social environment that you were used to, and you went to something that was completely different, and you couldn't connect to people. So you had this transitional period, which you You figured it out, as you said, eventually, was there any big turning point during that period that made you start thinking things or what you said they look from the outside things to the inside things where there's a point where something clicked?

Zoe Rizokosta  13:56  
Well, I would say that it was more like a gradual process. At least back then, it was just getting over my listening my frustration and get out there and start connecting, because for me, connection is very important. It's a vital, vital element of my life. At the same time, of course, I was learning German. And my perfectionism back then didn't let me speak until I was really structured. I had a good accent. And that's, that's when I started it was one and a half years after just just say, and so in between, of course, I was trying to find the expat communities that I could communicate in English. It was not that easy. And then I started speaking German I started connecting. My daughter was at the crash. So I started getting to know other moms. And it was The gradual process of just adjusting to the new situation to the stay at home mom situation. And then I started volunteering, also offering my fundraising skills to NGOs. So this also gave me a sense of, of doing something for me. And then many years passed by until, like you said, something clicked, my second daughter came, and we moved here to the Netherlands. And then, if I may very quickly describe, one day I remember I just wake woke up, I get out of my bed, and I say, Okay, today, I can't keep doing what I have been doing the last years, you know, tidying up the house, going to the supermarket for shopping, and have lunch with the parents and then go back, take care of my children, and my day was over. I don't undervalue all these things. And this was a big part of making me feel comfortable. But for me, it was not enough anymore. I just couldn't feel I could go on like that. So that was the turning point. And from then on, everything started shifting and changing. And we can talk about that, maybe later. But

Agi Keramidas  16:33  
it's reminded me the way you were describing it, when you rediscover a purpose. And I'm not saying discovery or maybe adjust your path to go to something new that that comes up. And it is interesting to hear, of course, I have heard your story before. But these aspects now that you're setting are very intriguing. In terms of the one day, as you said, I woke up and said, I don't want to do that anymore. And I can relate to how, as a feeling like this fails, but I think many people can as well, because it's more like, also a bodily thing rather than just a thought. Do you want to do to share a bit more about that how it felt that that moment? You said no more than not? Again,

Zoe Rizokosta  17:31  
it was like you say it was also a physical sensation. It was a sense that not exactly I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't. I was not feeling well, with myself and my body. I just needed to I felt I needed to, to evolve, I needed to find something that could give me motivation. Again, I didn't feel motivated to do what I was doing. And I have to say here that I know there are women, that the household, their family and raising their children, fulfils them and make them feel amazing. And I really support that. But for me, that was not enough. I needed to, I needed to have more, I needed to have more expanded, you know, life and content of life. And also, it's that for me, giving to my children, or my husband, and taking care of them was very limited. I wanted to offer because it's also an integral part of who I am, I want I want to offer my whatever I can offer to others I want to give a to offer my gift, I want to have an impact I want to influence. So it was not enough to do that. Just with my family. My my friends know the people I knew and I was discussing. Anyway, I wanted to do it more organised and in a much bigger number of people. So that's how it started. You know, shifting.

Agi Keramidas  19:27  
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You said and that's something I want to ask you that you realise that you didn't feel motivated anymore to do the life that you were doing. And then you took the decision in the steps to changing? My question is, you know, that there are many other many other women in particular, since that's our topic today, that do not have the motivation, but yet they do remain in this situation. So what do you think they're the differences between these people? And what happened to you?

Zoe Rizokosta  21:34  
Hmm, that's a very good question. Actually. I think that, for me, I will talk about myself. For me, it was that I, I just saw the future, you know, I said, in one to three years. If I do what I do right now, I won't be able to stand myself. It was so intense, you know, for me, and that's something that may be could motivate other people to just look into the future. See, see what what you want your life to be in some years. If you see that what you're doing right now, with some small tweaks can keep on, you know, functioning for you like that, fine. But if you see that, no, in two years, I want something different, I want something more, I want something bigger, then you have to reverse engineer and see what you want there, and then see how you can start going towards that. So I think that's a question that always can be a motivation and extra motivation for someone, if they feel that you know, where I am right now is not satisfactory. I am not good with where I am. And I also want to give another small not advice because I don't like to give advice. And I don't like to take advice. But But I want yeah, it's it's one of the core beliefs of me personally, and my work also. But I would like to share what I'm doing with myself and my clients. And the people I know, is just to be very clear, if you don't know what you want to do be very clear on what you don't want right now, what makes you feel uncomfortable, what what you want to get rid of. And if you become very clear on that, then you can turn it around, pivot it and replace it with something with exactly the opposite. And that will show you what you want. So that's a process that I am quite often doing. And it really helps.

Agi Keramidas  24:01  
It's a great start for many people who have no idea of that, let's say vision or something that further down the line. What was that isn't you find when you ask them and they don't know what to respond to, obviously, sort of it's show Absolutely. The things that we don't like it's for most people, there's much, much more easier to determine. So it's a great start, because at least you you take away some of the things that you don't and then you allow some room to create what you want. It's not always that you will see a clear as something that you will be very, very, you know, certain about but you create it as you go along. You uncover it I like to use that phrase.

Zoe Rizokosta  24:57  
Right, right. It's a process. Absolutely.

Agi Keramidas  25:02  
So with this of you're adjusting your identity or reinventing your identity during this part, all these instances in your in your story. And I know that you've also wrote a chapter in that book that you were talking about that show. My question is, even though it is probably going to sound like a broad question three, but if you could narrow down, how can we deal with such a way of, you know, when our identities are shaken or taken away unexpectedly, and we have to adjust with being someone else? I know, it's a broad question. So forgive me. If I don't give you something more specific?

Zoe Rizokosta  26:02  
No, it's actually I can answer it specifically. And I think, and so that's exactly the process, I went back and supported, and kind of extracted the elements that would help someone re discover themselves and reconstruct actually their identity, because identity is a reflection of your soul lessons of your core. And it might change according to the stages of life that you find yourself. But the basic elements are the same. They don't change they are, they are there. So what I would, I would say is that the first step is always to, how can I say, to map out where you are right now. And when I say map out where you are, I mean, and you have to be very conscious about not only what you feel, because feelings are very important, very, very important elements and indications of if you are, let's say on the right track or not. So, see how you feel, stay with yourself for a while, just as much as you can exclude the external voices and inputs, because they will not help you, they will probably confuse you more. And I also want to say that, for me, the answers to important questions in life are yours, they come from within, they cannot come from from outside. And if they do, and you will adapt them, probably it won't be the right ones. So just go within silence, the noise, the outer noise, find some time during the day to sit with yourself and just think just come within and feel yourself. You know, it's a process and especially the people that have have not done that consistently or systematically in the past, they might feel uncomfortable. Because when you sit with yourself, sometimes you feelings are coming or thoughts are coming that you don't like you when you want to push away. Just be be a little bit open and accept what is coming, because it's part of you. It's, it's a it's the voice of you that wants to speak to you and tell you not exactly what to do but but who you are and what you feel. So that's important to listen to. And, and also I think you should never forget

your past and when I say your past, I mean what you have accomplished, what you have achieved, and the difficulties and the obstacles that you have managed to, to overcome to be where you are today. And and not only the the obstacles, but also the achievements that that you have had the life experience that you have gained. So for me, one very, very beautiful and very enjoyable tool is all always journaling. You know, I just take my journal I have more than 12 As you very well known for different topics, because journaling has was one of my main tools that brought me here today. I like to write some people like to maybe record their thoughts. So you can use whatever makes you feel comfortable. But just take your thoughts out of your mind and put them down to paper or to your phone, wherever your computer. And because then when you read them again, or you listen to them again, you, it's like listening to yourself, like reading your mind. And this will help you just starting to make sense of your mind chaos, it won't be chaos anymore. So just see where you are today. And then start the process of seeing how you can move forward. Whether you shared before, it's actually a process that I learned in my coaching certification, and it's called clarity through contrast, and you you get a piece of paper, you separate it in half, and then you have the contrast on one side and the clarity on the other side. So you mark down the things that you don't like right now that you don't want in your life. And then literally with a pen, you strike them out. And on the opposite side on the clarity, you write what you want instead, based on what you don't want what you want instead. And then for example, on the clarity points, you can make affirmations, you can go there every day and just read them again. Visit them again, and 100% things will come out you will start being more clear, you will find ways how to realise them how to how to move forward. But for that, definitely you always need to have time with yourself even half an hour a day. Even if you're a busy mom, a busy executive business owner, it doesn't matter I'm sure you can find half an hour during the day, preferably in the morning, the mind is more clear then you start from there and you can I can talk a lot about how you can go on but I think it's important to start

Agi Keramidas  32:26  
and I can I will add to that briefly because I also agree very much about the power of journaling that and one other thing that for me journaling does is when I write it I have to actually articulate my thoughts into words because you know when we think we don't use the same language that we use when we speak on or when we write so it is more like a blurry noisy version of they're still words but not as clear and when you have to write them down you think more carefully about them and you clarify those those thoughts. Journaling is also for me one of the most important tools that I've used and I use every single day and what you said about half an hour I also will agree even if it sounds a lot but even if it is you know 20 minutes but take that time for yourself wake up 20 minutes earlier if you mean you can I think that that is one option. And you were saying also something earlier which I wanted to make a comment about you know when you listen to the the enough to take time to sit with yourself and be with yourself and listen to that inner voice it's not really voice so that inner feeling that sensation and I think no matter if someone has practised doing that or note I'm sure that everyone can relate to a certain moment in the life that they knew that something was the truth despite the thinking that was going on their head like it and understanding it knowledge of that and I think that's a good place to start a moment like that if someone has not yet learned to go deeper into into their own feelings and sensations and the body wisdom as we call it and look what's what's there and who we truly are.

Zoe Rizokosta  34:53  
With Yeah, because you know, and have believe me I'm Let's say I felt it, like you said deep in my body, the conditioning that we're going through since we are children. Depending on the social environment, we're growing up our families, our schools, our, maybe our our friends, all this conditioning that is going on, around us just makes us. And because of course humans naturally want to belong, they want to fit in. And that results to suppressing our, let's say, our, our inner, our inner voice, the voice I was talking about, and our once who we are our individuality, our uniqueness, we suppress that in order to fit in, we know that I think more or less older people go through that. However, I think that at some point in your adult life, you have the responsibility to go back and start digging, because it needs a lot of digging. And it's a process that can that can last for for the rest of your life. But it's such a beautiful process, and it makes you feel so. So uplifted. From time to time, it makes you feel maybe sad, because you see who you are. And what you're doing now is not resonating at all with who you are. But it's then in your hands to bring who you are out and start living like that. Maybe go back to your childhood, then see what what did you like doing when you were a child? What what lights you up? What made you feel happy what you were doing for hours and hours without stopping? Sometimes this is for some reasons suppressed or forgotten. And then you know, we are adults condition adults. We go to school, we study at the university, we do a job that we think we wanted. And then we I don't know, we have children, we get married, we do all the things that society kind of tells us. And then we don't really know why we don't feel well. We don't feel well, because you know, we follow the blueprint that that was handed to us. And I think if you go back and see the blueprint that you had when you came here, it's a big revelation. And I want here to say that sometimes in my masterminds or in my clients, people don't remember their childhood. It's always something that makes me feel surprised, let's say some people have suppressed even the memories because it was kind of traumatic, that they couldn't express themselves, I guess. And they had to do something that didn't resonate with them. But because they were children, they couldn't resist, or they didn't know any different way. So even if it's painful sometimes I think going back and just taking the the nice things the the things that made us happy, and bringing them in today and seeing maybe that's something that it's never too late to start. Yeah, the digging is a is a really big, big process. But I think it's worth doing that.

Agi Keramidas  38:46  
Thank you. I will I will reiterate that as well. Because I think it's a beautiful piece of advice rock, as you said, you don't like the word advice, beautiful action, action of light and for someone to take and think and bring back. What made you happy when you were outside, bring bringing back and sometimes I think and I will add my own perspective on that you will be surprised on what might you know, turn up us as a result of it. Joy. I would also like to ask you some quickfire questions to start loving this conversation of and the first one I always ask is What does personal development mean to you?

Zoe Rizokosta  39:39  
Well, personal development for me means what I said before digging deep inside. That's where it all starts. Whatever you learn, you hear the course that you will do the degree that you will have or whatever else. I don't think it can replace finding who you really are, and anchoring that and using that as a base to do whatever else. So personal development for me is self consciousness. Self awareness.

Agi Keramidas  40:16  
Ne halftone I'm using the Greek words are no, no, they sell the deepest thing, the deepest phrase of wisdom, I agree completely. And let me ask you a hypothetical question. So if you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give her?

Zoe Rizokosta  40:39  
Oh, it's that's easy for me. Follow your heart, my dear. Don't question yourself all the time. You have it, you know everything. You have everything you need to do what you want, just stop questioning yourself.

Agi Keramidas  40:57  
Dusty, and emerging from this conversation we had Drew, if you were to give to the listener, one actionable item, I know we've already gave quite a few. But if you were to give one more, not necessarily a new one, but which one would you share.

Zoe Rizokosta  41:19  
So for me, the process of growing as a person as a human has to two parallel, let's say processes and that that's what I would like to share. The first one is what I talked about many times self digging, finding who you are. The second one is as you do that, just try to translate that translate that and at something that makes you happy and has an impact on others because I think deep satisfaction comes from offering your gifts to other people. So see how who you are, can be translated in what you can do in your life professional, Lee wise, socially wise, romantically doesn't it doesn't matter. Just translate that on something that you share with other people.

Agi Keramidas  42:22  
That's beautiful. Thank you very much. It's It's amazing when we contribute our our own personal gifts our superpower to the world. That's, I think the best for the world, certainly the best for us as well. And the fulfilment we feel is immense. Can you tell us also about what's the best place for people to connect with you and find out more about you? And also a few words about the the work you do with the mastermind with with women? If you want to share that?

Zoe Rizokosta  43:00  
Yes, of course, of course, I would love to share so they can find me on my website, which is my name. So it is acosta.com. And then I am active in social media, mainly Facebook and Instagram. But I also have a LinkedIn account. And, and then, yeah, the book I co authored with 20. More women recently, and I'm very proud of, we actually share our own stories and some tips, tips on how we overcame difficult situations in our lives and how we regained our power. So this is a source a resource that if someone is interested can find on Amazon. And then what I do right now I'm in a phase of life and of business because I have my own business. I call it delicious life. And that's because I think that life should be delicious, no matter what should be joyful, should be pleasurable, and you should do the things that really satisfy you and make you happy. And by the way, life is my name in Greek Zoey. So I like this kind of combination. So through delicious life coaching, I offer one to one coaching to women and some men but I mainly work with feminine energy and and I love to support them in their journey of finding who they are and how they can use their gifts to create a life they love. And I'm a very big supporter of masterminds, because through masterminds I have developed and then I started creating an offering my own masterminds and What is happening there is magic. Literally, I was recently reading, again, Napoleon Hills Think and Grow Rich. And I was saying how the power of the mastermind, which is actually a new mind creating created, which is much more powerful than the sum of individual minds. So right now I have a mastermind, how you can find your soul lessons and translate that to a business, personal business you love. It's a Greek speaking one. But in May, I'm going to start an English speaking one for women that are interested to bring up their uniqueness, their special gifts, and infuse that to their business. So their business can be an extension of who they are. And that's how they will attract the right people that can work with them, and give them offer them the fulfilment and abundance that they deserve. So

Agi Keramidas  46:07  
that's wonderful. Thank you. Sorry, I want to thank you very much for this conversation we had today. I believe we covered some important elements. And yeah, I want to thank you very much for your time for sharing your wisdom and experience with us and I want to wish you all the best with your life in your business. Any last parting words?

Zoe Rizokosta  46:36  
Yeah, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed talking to you I use we have a really beautiful past history of doing business together and offering our gifts our combined gifts to the world. So today's conversation is was for me a big pleasure. And I thank you very much for inviting me.

Agi Keramidas  47:08  
I hope you enjoyed listening and that you got a huge amount of value from today's episode. If you have, please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to know more about what I do, visit my website, AGIKERAMIDAS.COM             And until next time, stand out, don't fit in!