A special celebratory episode #250, and I like saying that’s a quarter of the way to 1,000 episodes!
My guest today is Dr John Demartini, the world-renowned specialist in human behaviour, polymath, researcher, author, and global educator. He has studied over 30,000 books across all academic disciplines, and he has synthesised and shares the wisdom of the ages. He was one of the featured experts in the book and documentary “The Secret”.
He has been a public speaker for nearly 50 years, and he empowers people from all walks of life by sharing his knowledge on personal development and financial wellness. In the field of personal development, he has created revolutionary techniques, such as the Demartini Method and the Demartini value determination process.
In our podcast conversation, we focused on Mastery: mind mastery, life mastery, personal development mastery.
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𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀:
* What is self-mastery?
* Mastering the seven areas of life
* We can control only our perceptions, decisions, and actions
* The executive centre of our brain and how to awaken our inner governance
* Getting out of reflex and into reflective awareness
* The feedback our emotional reactions give us
* Seven steps to expand to the next level of empowerment
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𝗠𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲:
“The true you is more magnificent than any fantasy you'll ever impose on yourself.”
-Dr John Demartini
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𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀:
Free workbook "7 Steps to Expand to The Next Level of Empowerment":
https://demartini.ink/personaldev
Website:
݆
𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁:
I am Agi Keramidas, a podcaster, mentor, and knowledge broker. My mission is to inspire others to grow, stand out, and take action toward the next level of their lives. Visit my website: AgiKeramidas.com
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION
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Please note that while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present. No part of this transcription can be referenced or reproduced without permission.
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Dr John Demartini 0:00
Now if you subordinate to the world around you and become part of the conformed herd, you're not going to do that, you're going to fit in instead of stand out. And every human being I've asked people, even in prisons, everywhere in the world I've been, I've asked how many of you want to make a difference, every hand goes up, you won't make a difference fitting in, you'll make a difference standing out. You have to be willing to be walking your own individual unborrowed visionary path, which is an expression of your own hierarchy of values.
Agi Keramidas 0:36
You're listening to personal development mastery podcast, where you will find inspirational conversations, and actionable takeaways to master yourself and improve your life. I am your host, Agi Keramidas. A few years ago, I found myself unfulfilled and unmotivated, like I had lost my sense of purpose and my life was merely passing by. Since then, I've been on a continuous journey of personal development that has transformed every aspect of my life. Now, my mission is to inspire you to grow, stand out and take action towards a purposeful and fulfilling life. In this podcast, I invite myself inside the minds of remarkable entrepreneurs, authors, thought leaders, spiritual teachers, people who share their journey milestones and learnings for you to be inspired to grow. In each episode, you will find actionable takeaways that you can implement right now. So make sure you follow the podcast to get them as soon as they are released.
Agi Keramidas 1:46
Today is a very special celebratory episode 250. And the like saying that that's a quarter of the way to 1000 episodes. And my guest today is Dr. John Demartini, the world renowned specialist in human behaviour, and one of the featured experts in the film The Secret. He is an author, researcher, global educator, and a public speaker for nearly 50 years. In the field of personal development, he has created revolutionary techniques such as the Demartini method, and the Demartini value determination process. In our podcast conversation today, we focused on mastery, mind mastery, Life Mastery, personal development mastery. Let's dive right in. Dr. John Demartini, welcome back to personal development mastery podcast.
Dr John Demartini 2:47
Well, thank you for having me back. I've been looking forward to it.
Agi Keramidas 2:50
So have I! And in our previous podcast conversation, we discussed gratitude and the gratitude effect. And today, we will speak about a different topic, which is, I believe, very appropriate and relevant with my podcast. And it's all about mastery that we will talk today. Self Mastery, mind mastery, personal mastery. And I will just make a brief comment here that I say that when I initially named my podcast, personal development mastery, I inadvertently set the bar high for myself, I hadn't intended for that, but then I had to match to the name of it. So I'm grateful that it happened like that. So I would like to start by, let's start with a definition. So I was looking at the dictionary in preparation and says mastery means a comprehensive knowledge or skill in a particular subject or activity, and also the action of mastering that subject or skill. So let's start with with this, how do you define mastery, self mastery in particular?
Dr John Demartini 4:11
Well, I believe that that definition is sufficient. But I don't want to limit it to just one subject. Unless you make the subject, holistic for the whole your whole life. I was watching a show in America in 1973, that had a store called David Carradine. And the show was called kung fu. And he was Shaolin. You know, maki might say, stayed under a master. And in the show, it talks about his master. And when I heard that term, I thought, I would like to become a master. So at 18 I went on pursued to become a master. I didn't know what it really meant at the time. It just sounded really cool. And I thought about this, you know, this monk, Kung Fu specialist, I would like to have that type of skill, but I didn't want to limit it to martial arts. I want to do it in life. So I started going out and making a pursuit, I want to master my life. So I first asked, what exactly is my life? What is life? If I'm gonna master life, what does that mean? And I decided to divide my life up into seven areas. I wanted to master my mind, and wake up my genius and make original contributions to the world with innovative ideas. I wanted to create a mastery in business where I was touching people's lives around the world globally. I wanted to have financial independence where I was working not because I had to, but because I'd love to. I wanted to have my money working for managed money working for it. I wanted to have a global family dynamic. I never really felt at home in any one spot. I always felt the world was my home. Every country has a room in the house. And I want to have a global family dynamic. I live on a ship called the world and travelled all over the world. Because of that. I want to have social influence. I literally started mentoring all the most amazing people that I would love to meet and hang out with and contribute to. And that's nearly 4000 global thinkers and people today. I also had a desire to have vitality, and be vital into right pages. And I'm 68 in just a couple months. So I'm doing pretty good. I keep a very intense schedule seven days a week on my mission. And most people don't think I'm 60. And, and then the last one is to contribute a spiritual movement to the world. Not a new religion, but a way of living an inspired life. Regardless of what your background or religion or faith is, or whatever, just whatever it is, I'd like to contribute to that and add tools to help people live an inspired life. So that's how I wrote it down starting at age 18. And then I asked myself, What is the highest priority knowledge? Well, highest priority tools, highest priority ideas that could assist in the pursuit of this mastery. Because I didn't believe that mastery was just business. Because I've seen so many people that are really great in business, but their relationships, or their health is not well. Or I see people that are very healthy and fit, but they have no money. Or I see people that have a great family, but there's no business. I've seen people polarise to one area but not master all of them. And I learned from Albert Einstein, when I was 18, reading one of his books, the greatest teacher is exemplification. So I made it my mission to exemplify a mastered life. So I wanted to demonstrate the mastery and all those seven areas. That was my own mission. Regardless of what anybody else thought I wanted to be able to demonstrate it, I'm doing that. So that was my definition. So now your definition imposed on my definition, broadening it from just one specialty, to the specialty of life itself in those areas, and developing knowledge and skills and mastery of those areas are perfectly dovetailed. So your definition is a perfect definition to superimpose onto those areas. So that led me to study neurology, psychology, philosophy, theology, neuroscience,
Dr John Demartini 9:10
anything to do with personal development, how do you master drive and sustainability and so anything in any any knowledge that would help me in those seven areas that help IT, finance, economics, business development, family dynamics, social dynamics, health and fitness, I became a doctor in the health field to do just for the health area. And I studied theology 3000 religions and philosophies for that and studied philosophy and studied neuroscience. I mean, I did, I devoured everything I could get 30,680 Something books now in every one of those areas to try to help me develop that skills and exemplify those mastery. So I define mastery is based on whatever that individual believes Use in the way they define mastery. That's I just happen to find it with all those seven areas. But whatever is mastery to an individual is sufficient. They may want to raise amazing family. And if they match that skill, and that's their pursuit, they're mastered. But I include all seven. That doesn't mean anybody else has to. But for me, that was my definition. But I want everybody to know that, that whatever their heart, and their real, true, authentic pursuit is, that's really valuable to them. The mastery of that is mastery, and fulfilling. And I believe that everybody deserves to have their definition fulfilled.
Agi Keramidas 10:43
Thank you for this explanation and how you talked about Life Mastery in the the seven areas that personally I believe that you demonstrate mastery in all of those areas. As far as I can tell, I would still like to focus on one of these areas, especially the the mind mastery, I don't know if you would agree with me or not. Somehow, I feel like it is a prerequisite in some ways for attaining mastery in some of the other areas. So it kind of is more important if I can say that. Well,
Dr John Demartini 11:24
you know, your perceptions, your decisions, and your actions in life are mental expressions. And your life, you have control over your perception decisions and actions, you don't have control over everything outside you. But you can control your perceptions of what happens, your decisions, what you do with it and your actions. So mine mastery is the fundamentals of Life Mastery in all seven areas. And I created a model, you might say, a system, for my mastery for the sake of those seven areas. So I would agree with you. I think that's the that would be the cornerstone. The question now is, who are we? It's an ontological, metaphysical question, who aren't we? Some would say a soul. And Aristotle, and Plato's idea of a soul also had mental expressions, their definition of the soul and on the soul, the eminent by Aristotle, describes mental capacities, mental faculties, perceptions and actions. So we could say that the existential extension of the soul from the essential self would be mental. And therefore, that's the way we relate to the existential world. So we would say that the mind mastery would be the key Life Mastery would be the cornerstone of Life Mastery. So again, we're in harmony and agreement on what's so if we can master our ability to master our mind, we can have the ability to master these others, as as Warren Buffett says, until you can master your emotions and manage your emotions, don't expect to manage money. And Robert Greene says, until you can manage your emotions don't expect to be a leader. So it is that that is the cornerstone. The question was, what is the mind now? Isn't isn't a an emergent function out of a bunch of complex neural networks? Is it a neuro associative complex, it's entangled with the other neuro associative complexes that integrates in the forebrain. We have a mystery box sitting in the neurosciences about what is the mind and I have my definitions, that doesn't mean they're right. It just they're my definitions, and they're evolving as my knowledge grows. But whatever it is, there is practical things you can do to enhance the mastery of the mind to overlap into the mastery of these seven areas. No question
Agi Keramidas 13:49
that I will certainly come to that the practical ways to enhance that because I believe it's, it's really the, maybe the one of the reasons we're doing this, this conversation. I would like to ask HAL to start just a little one step before that. And we'll start with the brain just a simple explanation, because for many people, the mind is very much related to the brain. So I would like to ask you about that part of our brain which is responsible for mastery or the inner governance, the executive of centre so just give us an overview of how it works without getting into many probably technical details so that we can follow from that and see what we can do to you know, augment it as you mentioned,
Dr John Demartini 14:48
okay. I could spend about a year on this one. I love this one. The most simple neurological Action is a simple reflex, they call it a mono, which means one, synaptic, which means connection reflex. So you have a, your knee is put on top of your other knee, and you hit it with a reflex hammer it jerks. And that's because you stimulate a sensory nerve receptor. It causes a graded and an action potential to go up through the nerve to the cell body and up into this spinal cord. And then synapses with another nerve, which is a anterior motor nerve. And then it goes back out to a muscle to cause it to contract. And it's sort of an all or none. Sometimes you hit it, nothing happens, or you hit it jumps. So it's the most primitive reflex that we have in the stimulus response, yes. But then you go into the nervous system, not just the nerves, peripheral nerves, which go into the nervous system, the spinal cord. And you have what is called inter neurons. And interneurons are intermediate neurons between a sensory input and a motor output, a muscular output. And the more the number of inter neurons, the more options you have on that response. And the more graded the response becomes like a dimmer switch, instead of all or none black or white, and now start to have a bit of a grey. The higher you go in the brain, the more the inner neurons. Now the sensory neurons are primarily for reception and perception, the inner neurons are for decisions, and the motor neurons are for actions. And we have control over those perception decisions actions are sensory, inter neurons and motor neurons. But the higher you go, the more inter neurons in fact, it goes from none at a monosynaptic reflex, to one to a die synaptic reflex to to to a polysynaptic reflex. And then it goes up and polysynaptic reflexes all the way up until you have trillion or billions of possible associations to be made tonight, the greater the number of inner neurons, the more you are in control of what you're perceiving, deciding and acting. The lower the number, the more the world outside you is a stimulus response and it controls you. So the primitive part of our brain is control from the external world. But the more advanced part of the brain, we get to control but then now the question is, where are we? Are we at the sensory neuron? Are we between the sensory neuron the inner neuron? Are we the inner neuron? Are we the junction between the inner neuron to the motor neuron? Where is us? Where are we in all that? How are we controlling that? How does that work? That's, that's an interesting mystery, which I've explored now, for 45 years, I've been writing and I used to lecture on neurology. So as the we go up, the most advanced part of the brain is the medium the middle part, prefrontal, that means it's wrapped up underneath the brain and the front prefrontal cortex, it's the most advanced part of the brain is part of the telencephalon which means the end of the brain. This one area is also called the executive Centre, which has executive function, it is also called the gratitude Centre, which is interesting. And what that centre does, is it because of all the inter neurons that are involved, it moderates the stimulus response that we have down below. And it allows us to govern those behaviours and take spastic, all or none reflexes, impulses, instincts, and calm it down intuitively into a reasonable response based on wisdom.
Dr John Demartini 18:53
And what's interesting as if you study stochastic behaviour, the science of statistics, they know that the greater the sample size, the higher the probability of mean distribution. You get the mean, not the extremes, but the mean. The mean, Aristotle called the golden mean was the virtue between the two vices with the two extremes in his work. So as we go up in the brain, we increase the probability of objectivity which is neutral, instead of subjective biases, which is polarised and opinionated. Where all the biases of prejudice and discriminations and judgments and things that we have below. The Greek philosopher and pedigree said we have love or strife. When we're balanced, we have love. Same for Protagoras. When we don't have strife, we have judgement. Judgement is when you're perceiving consciously more positives. And we're unconscious, the negatives or perceiving more negatives, consciously and unconscious deposits. That's down below. That's where we have a reflex. for survival, but the executive centre sees both sides. Wilhelm once a night at 95 said there's simultaneous contrast of perception and sequential. We have sequential we have emotional reactions and the world around us runs us. We have simultaneous we're poised and present. And we see things gracefully. And we have graceful movements are an agonist and antagonist motor responses are graceful instead of jerked and responded quick reactions. So the executive centre is involved in inspired vision, strategic planning to mitigate risks, executive action, and self governance. And the self governance is the nerve areas from that area, send nerve fibres down into the amygdala, which is the emotional reacting centres. And with GABA and glutamate transmitters, it calms down the impulses and instincts that are reactive, and where we react before we think. And we think before we act with the executive centre and calm that down, and take the dimmer switch and put it in the middle and take the extremes out. And we are now more poised and present and purposeful. And that's the beauty of the executive scenario is bringing us self governance. So every time we perceive something that has a positive without a negative or a negative that a positive, the amygdala comes on the subcortical II or the Megillah comes on, and we react because we're there for survival. But every time we balance our perceptions, and ask quality questions and make us conscious of the unconscious and become fully conscious and see both sides, the executive centre comes on and we become poised and present. And we have grace and gratitude. And we feel love for life. So the executive centre is designed to dissolve the fantasies and affiliates in the phobias, the nightmares and the fantasies, dissolve those and allow us to be present with the magnificence of what's there and respond wisely, with thought and reason and inspiration. Now, when we live by our highest values, everybody has a set of priorities in their life. When we live by our highest values, the executive centre gets blood glucose and oxygen. When we live by our lower values, that amygdala gets it. So if we're not doing what we're really authentically designed to do that's inspiring to us fulfilling our ontological, real, authentic self, the amygdala comes on, and we start to have skewed views of reality. But the second we live by our highest value and inspired, we become objective and reasonable. And we end up making the most sustainable fair exchange transactions with other people, which allow us to master the areas of our life.
Agi Keramidas 22:48
I want to take a short break from this episode and very quickly let you know about something I'm really excited about. For me, having a podcast made a tremendous difference in my life's journey. And I know the kind of impact it can have on one's personal development. And that is why I'm so passionate about this service I offer helping coaches who are ready to amplify their message and reach a global audience by creating, launching and growing a top-quality podcast, even if they aren't tech-savvy and are limited on time. Maybe you've thought about having your own podcast, but you don't want to go through the time consuming learning processes of how to create launch it or how to record edit host and so on. If you said yes to that, then I got a solution for you, something that takes away all the complexity and allows you to only concentrate on creating quality content. Go to my website, AGIKERAMIDAS.COM to find out more and to get your free copy of my guide about creating and launching your podcast. Alright, let's come back to the episode.
Agi Keramidas 24:03
Thank you. And there was that there was also one question that comes to me Listen into your explanation about the executive centre. And this. You talked about the reflex we have with the lower centres or the lower levels and the reflection or the ability to reflect and the options as we said to choose how to respond. My question is, how can one find or enhance this ability, shall we say to be able to stop at that moment? You said about you know balancing our perceptions and but I'm trying to take it one step before that and ask how can one get out for a moment of this reflective risk? So This reflects and get into the mode of being reflective. I hope my question is clear to what I'm trying to. Thank you.
Dr John Demartini 25:08
Yes, it's very clear. Thank you. We have reflexive awareness and reflective awareness. Like you say, a reflex is outside extrinsically stimulated and you're responding and reflective as it were more introspective. And we're listening. And before we respond with thinking, in systems when thinking we react and think and systems to think and we think then react, then we respond to that. So I've asked that question since I was 23, when I first started teaching neurology, and I'm feeling quite certain that we found solutions to that, here's how it goes. Whenever you have an emotional reaction, it means you have incomplete perception. Because if you're infatuated with somebody, you're perceiving the upside, but you're blind to the downside, you're ignoring the downside, you're unconscious to the downside. So in a sense, you're ignorant of the whole, you're only seeing part, and you're now generating an opinion, that's got an emotion. And I'm gonna make a statement that the purpose of emotions is to offer us as conscious beings, feedback to let us know when we're not seeing the whole. We're not fully aware, we're ignoring some of what we're experiencing. And we're having a bias. And we're in survival mode. And it's offering us feedback to let us know that that's all it's giving us symptoms in our body and our psyche, to let us know that we're not whole, we're not authentic. Because if we infatuate with something, we'll tend to minimise ourselves to it. If we minimise ourselves, we're not authentic. And if we resent something, and we look down on it, we're conscious of the downsides and unconscious the upsides and we're ignoring the upsides. We're going to exaggerate ourselves looking down on people, and that's inauthentic. And so the homeostatic mechanism of the brain is trying to make us authentic, is trying to teach us how to love is trying to teach us to have sustainable fair exchange. And when you tend to be looking up to people minimising yourself, you'll tend to sacrifice for them. Anybody you've been infatuated with, you'll tend to inject their values, try to live by their values and sacrifice for them temporarily for fear of loss of them. And anybody who resent you will try to sacrifice them for you narcissistically because you'll try to get them to live in your values, both of which are futile. And so all the emotional responses and symptoms of our psyche and our physiological responses are feedback mechanisms to let us know we're not authentic, we're ignoring information, we're not seeing the hole, we're not in grace, because the magnificence of life is really magnificent if we see it whole. So those those symptoms of emotion are giving us feedback is just a homeostatic feedback just like a thermostat. If it's hot, you know, we sweat and if it's cold, we shiver. And there's symptoms to let us know, hey, we're not imbalanced temperature. Let's regulate the temperature and get us back into the centre. That's all symptoms are. That's what illness is. And Protagoras said that in his time, and Galen said that he's got the essay all the mythological story of its clypeus refers to that all the great healers knew that almost every drug they take in medicine is to try to balance out the chemistry. So the emotions are feedback mechanisms to let us know that we're ignoring key information. And we're dividing our consciousness into conscious and unconscious halves, and not seeing full consciousness not being mindful. That here's the magnificence though. If we infatuate with somebody, and we put them on a pedestal, and we minimise ourselves. We're too humble to admit what we see in them inside us. So we have a missing part, a disowned part, a deflected part, a deflected part. I'm too humble to admit when I see in them inside me, I'm deflecting what I see. Now we know that when we point our finger at people three are pointing back. The truth is we have everything we see in them, but we're too humble to admit it. Or if we're resenting them, we're looking down on him. And exactly, we're too proud to admit what we see in them inside us. But yet, we got three fingers pointing back. And watch because we actually have shame and it's reminding us what we feel ashamed of, and we don't want to admit it. So we dissociate from the shame and go into pride to protect ourselves. And we judge them for something we're doing but we don't want to face it. So we deflect and deflect of awareness is reflexive
Dr John Demartini 29:49
and so far we react reflexively not reflectively to the impulses to seek or the instincts to avoid and we're like An animal in survival reacting before we think, because we're in reflexive awareness, not reflective awareness. But now, let's say we see somebody we admire. And instead of being too humble to admit what we see in them inside us, what if we ask the question? What is it what specific train action or inaction do I perceive this individual displaying, or demonstrating that I admire most, and then go to a moment where in when I perceive myself displaying or demonstrating the same or similar Trade inside myself, what if I go in there and introspectively reflect and find out where I see what I see them inside me. And don't stop until the quantity and quality is equal, and be accountable for being fully conscious, and now have reflective awareness and level the playing field, where they're not above me, and I'm not below altruistically, sacrificing for them and trying to be somebody I'm not, but level the playing field where I value me and I value them and I make sure I have a sustainable fair exchange, where I have equanimity in me and equity between me and then. Or when I'm resentful, what happens if I go in and find out where I do those behaviours to, and to revert, reflect, and realise that they have brought into my life to teach me to love all parts of myself and not deny any of them because at the level of my soul, nothing's missing in me. But the level of my sense is things appear to be missing in me. And the things that appear to be missing me are all the things that I'm too proud or too humble to admit that I have. And in that moment, we have pure reflective awareness. And that's exactly when we balance that the blood glucose noxion activates the executive centre. And our body is poised and present and gracefully has a balance between the agonist and antagonist and we have movements such graceful, graceful movement is a sign of graceful mind. It's really quite beautiful. So our body gives us feedback to try to live a reflective awareness. And you know, when people think they have love for somebody, they confuse a passionate infatuation that's blind, where two people are passionately infatuated, and they're, they want to go and procreate and have a sexual passion, instead of that of True, true love and intimacy. True love and intimacy is where you realise you have pure reflective awareness where the whatever you see in them you have in your own form, and nothing's missing in you, and nothing's missing in them. And you both have fulfilment. And there's grace and tears of gratitude for reflecting and seeing that when I see a new I see in May, the God within me and the God within you are meeting. And that is something that transcends the passions, that the Stoics and Marcus really has talked about the passions, and you could transcend them. It was called Omonia by Aristotle verse hedonistic pursuits, and wisdom is coming from that state of pure reflective awareness, not reflexes.
Agi Keramidas 32:57
Let's say then that we end up I'm going to ask you something specific that came to my mind listening to your explanation that we realise ourselves being in such a state of a high a high emotional state, showing demonstrating that we're ignoring us You said, some key information, we've not seen the totality of the situation, how is there some maybe particular question or something that we can use at that time to move us quickly towards that reflective awareness?
Dr John Demartini 33:36
Well, people want immediate gratification on mastery. And that's a contradiction. So I you know, when you when you become wealthy people that want to get rich quick, usually don't. When you want to have a loving relationship, people that want to quickly get to the sex quick, usually don't have a long term relationship. So I'm not interested in immediate gratification. But the quality of your life is based on the quality questions you ask yes, because questions help you become conscious of what's unconscious. And so any question that equilibrates The mind and liberates the mind from imbalance perspectives is the path because anything you infatuate with or resent occupies space and time in mind and runs you as brain noise and its complexity instead of integration of simplicity. It's entropy. All emotions are in Tropic love is negentropic. So the questions that I've developed, I've developed about 80 questions that can change people's lives. And one of the first questions when you meet somebody that you're judging or judgement in yourself relative to somebody because you could exaggerate them and minimise you or you can minimise them and exaggerate you. You could have pride and shame or infatuate issue resentment. But I asked this question, what specific trait? That's a physical trade, action or inaction, something they do or don't do? What specific trade action action do you perceive? Because it's at the moment of perception that conscious and unconscious mind split. And it's at the moment perception that they can be integrated, and whole again. So what specific trade action inaction do you perceive this individual displaying or demonstrating that you admire most or despise most? And we narrow it down and we make sure that there's no hearsay because that's not proceeded. Somebody else told you that. We make sure it's not broad, vague generalities and labels, abusive, bad father, which is unspecified. It doesn't tell you what they're doing or not doing. Make sure it's not how you felt, because how you felt is your interpretation giving you feeling not their action. And it's not some transcendental state because a transcendental state is not emotional. It's a synthesis of the emotions. So if I asked him what specific trade action or inaction do you perceive this individual displaying or demonstrating that you admire or despise most, and we narrow down what those are? These are the definitions of their judgments. I admire them because they have a skill of perseverance. I admire them because they are able to articulate, I admire them because they are there. Praise me verbally. I admire them because they are, know how to save and invest their money wisely, whatever it may be. We write it down. Then the second question comes, because first we're looking at what are we judging? Because it's our judgments that separate us. And it's our love that unites us. So then I asked, okay, go to a moment, you're now asking yourself, John, go to a moment when when you perceive yourself displaying or demonstrating this same or similar specific trade action or inaction that you admire, despise most. And now you are accountable. And most people don't want to be accountable. They want to go with it's all reflection, man. But then when it's actually time to accountable, they don't want to do that, because they want to hold on to their pride. And pride is an addiction of the amygdala. So I tell people go to moment when when you perceive yourself displaying the same or similar specific trade action or inaction. And at first, they can't see it because they're blind. Eye, so be accountable look, because you will not see things and other people unless you got it. That's the lesson. So I've been doing this now for 30, many, six, seven years now 37, almost hundreds of 1000s people, and I've not found a trade to can't be owned. I even went to the Oxford Dictionary and preempted it by going through every possible human trade person to do and own them all. 4000 6:20am I got them all. I'm nice. I mean, I'm kind of cruel and open and closed. I'm honest, I'm dishonest and peaceful and Morpho, I'm all the above, nothing's missing in me, I don't need to get rid of half of myself to love myself. I love all that. So I haven't own that. And when the quantity of those traits and the quality of those traits are equal to the individual that they're judging, and I had two people, one Palestinian and one Israeli leader do this. And they had to own the traits of their opponent. And it was amazing watching the transformation between those two people as a result of it. So once they actually go through and own that trait.
Dr John Demartini 38:30
They level the playing field. They're no longer too proud or too humble to admit what they see in others inside them. And that's a big step forward in reflective awareness, the first step, then the second step is the realisation that the label they gave things was their artificial label. All events are neutral until somebody comes along with a subjective biases and labels it positive or negative. Because as Milton John Milton says, you can make a heaven out of a hell or a hell out of a heaven, it's just your perceptions. And somebody else will see that same event to something terrific, and you'll see this terrible. And I see that if you're about to have a wedding and it's raining, you're thinking that's terrible. It's an outdoor wedding, it's destroyed my wedding. But if you're a farmer, there's been a drought. He goes, thank God it's raining. So rain is neither good nor evil, it's just rain. And all the events in our life are what we decide to make them. We give meaning as Albert Camus says we give meaning to things based on our own interpretation of reality. So I go in there next I asked, okay, go to a moment when when I actually perceive the individual displaying or demonstrating this behaviour, this trait action or inaction that I admire most or despise most. And I go and zoom in on that moment. I don't hold back a memory back there when I distorted I go into the moment where I'm there. And I ask where am I? And when am I and I get present there? Because the moment I get present, I can integrate to conscious and unconscious and it will pop up intuitively, the intuition is designed to reveal the unconscious to the conscious mind to make you fully conscious. That's what the real intuition is about. That's it's an introvert. It's an introspective state. It's an insight. It's an interfaith hearing. And the moment you go there and ask now the question is at that moment of the perception of this trait you admire, what's the downsides, that you've been ignoring? Or what's the upside of the trait you despise, that you've been ignoring? And you go in there, and you make yourself accountable and to balance out until there's ups and downsides are perfectly level, the positives and negatives are equal. Because the magnet, even though you think you'll get a positive or negative poll, cut it in half, you get two magnets, you can never separate the two. So to label something one side without the other is futility. It's not true. It's just a bias. And most people live with 200 biases without even realising it. So if you hold yourself accountable on the spot, what's the downside? Or what's the upside and balance it out until it has neither side? It's just simply neutral. The word objectivity means neutrality. It's another term for it. So the moment you do, you now see it objectively, you don't see it with a subjective bias, you don't project your interpretation on it. 1000, people might have a totally different interpretation, you now see both sides, you, you have reflective awareness, and you see both sides, and you don't have an impulse toward it, you don't have an instinct away from it, you're poised. You're poised and present. Once it's balanced, you realise, wow, this individuals in my life to teach me to love the parts that I've been disowning I don't have anything except thankfulness for that. Now we go to the next step, we now go back to the moment where in when I perceive myself displaying or demonstrating that behaviour, that trade action in action that I admired inspires most, that same behaviour. And in that moment, I get present. And I look at who is influenced by that. Because if I was proud of it, I'm assuming that I initiated more benefits and drawbacks to somebody. And I'm blind to the downsides of what I did. And if I thought I was shamed of it, I assumed that I initiated more negative than positive to somebody and I'm blind to the upsides. So now I go back and get accountable of where I've done it. And look at what are the UPS or downsides until those are balanced to the individual I did it too, or anybody who's a bystander preceding it, who might have been affected. And I make myself really accountable to clear my prides and shames because my pride and shames aren't my authentic self, they're exaggerations of minimization to me because of my judgments of me or other people. And what's interesting is, if I dissolve my own pride and shame, my resentment, infatuation with others goes away. It was never based on them. It was based on my stored unconscious baggage that I was storing, because I had this moral hypocrisy within myself that I was projecting.
Dr John Demartini 43:10
Now the moment that's done, I go one step further. I go back to the moment of where and when I perceive them displaying or demonstrating the trait that I judged, that I thought was something I admire despised. And in that moment, I look at who are they demonstrating it to? Is it me or somebody other than me? If it was me, I then go to a moment where and when I perceived that same individual displaying or demonstrating the exact opposite trait to me. So if I thought they were verbally critical, I now find where were they verbally praising me. And I go and find out where they did the opposite trait until it balances the trait 5050. And then I realised that they're a human being with a set of values. And if I do things to support their values, they praise me if I do things a challenge badge, they they criticise me to keep me back in balance. And they're actually there in this magnificent dynamic, helping me become authentic. And I had labelled them because of my wound, instead of love them from my heart. And once I bring that into balance, I realised that they're not the label that I had that that was a false label that I gave them, which is all the biases and prejudices, we stick with the in group out group biases. Then I go one step further. I go to the moment where and when I perceive them displaying or demonstrating the trait action inaction, I admire despise. And I get really present. Where was that? When was that? What exactly is the content in that moment? And what's the context? If they're verbally criticising me? Why? What am I doing? It's challenging their values of what am I doing? It's arrogant where they would need to bring me back down into humble me. And what's the content context? Oh, it's about the way I manage my money with my kids. Great, and who are they doing it to me? And at that exact moment, you cannot perceive something without it. Contrast, that's the basic principle of psychology for over 125 years now. And so at the moment we have perceiving something that you admire, despise, your mind has the counterbalancing homeostatic mechanism and what they call an anti memory in the brain, that are neuro associations that come up to counterbalance that to bring you back in homeostasis. So at that moment, what virtually or in reality is doing the opposite to you. So if they're verbally criticise me, who is actually praising me at that moment, if they're rejecting me, who's wanting me at that moment, they're putting me down, who's lifted me up at that moment, if they're lying to me, who's telling me the truth at that moment, because I couldn't perceive that without a contrast. And I become aware of that, in that moment, virtually, or real one or many male or female, I look for where it is. And I don't stop until I become aware. And I get tears of gratitude for the pairs of opposites that are born in that moment. And then I realised that I selectively bias talent, half of that, and be created an emotion instead of creating a moment of love. If I do that, I create a storage in my subconscious mind of all those imbalances. But if I integrate them, I awaken my superconscious awareness where I'm in grace again. And I see both sides and I do that for each moment I judge them. And then I discovered that it was my illusion. There was a matrix of love there the whole time. That love was all there was nothing else was there. All else was an illusion that I bought into because of my bias. And then I get one more I asked the question, go to a moment where and when you proceed this individual displaying or demonstrating to trade tonight my response. And in that moment, if they had done exactly the opposite, the way I fantasise them doing, when I judge them, what would have been the drawback? Because as long as I'm holding on to a fantasy about how life is supposed to be, I'm never going to appreciate my reality. So I asked, what is the what would be the drawback if it was the way I fantasised at that moment, or what would be the benefit if it was the opposite of what I admired. And I level the fantasy and I take the magnet and I neutralise the magnet, and D magnetise the magnet so I can actually be present with somebody and love them. If I do those seven questions, both positive and negative, that already starts transforming and helping me have reflective awareness. But I have about 80 questions. Those are the first seven.
Agi Keramidas 47:24
Thank you for your comprehensive answer. And also I You made me realise that the way I phrased my question, even though my intention was not to find the shortcut, the one question that you can use it all the time, you know, and bypass whatever's happening or go past it. But thank you for the clarification. It's been a very intriguing and wonderful conversation. John, there is. And I know that our time together is quickly going towards the end, there is one last thing I wanted to ask you to share a few words with us. We are delighted that you agreed to share your full free your workbook with us on the seven steps to expand to the next level of empowerment. So it's a free guide, which the listener can download from the link that I will have, I would like you to share a few words about the guidance. Even though I think the title is self explanatory, but please share a few words about it with us.
Dr John Demartini 48:36
Every human being regardless of age, gender, or cultural background, or sexual gender, lives moment by moment by a set of priorities. A set of values, things are most at least as important. And this list, this hierarchy of values, this list of priorities is fingerprint specific. No two people ever have at any one moment, the exact same list. That's primarily because the accumulation of all the judgments that create the voids that drive the values. Whatever that set of values is that it there's a hierarchy to it. And the very top value, the thing that's most important to the individual, most by most priority, they spontaneously inspired from within to fulfil it. Nobody has to motivate them extrinsically to get him to do it. This is the most efficient and effective expression of life, living authentically according to your highest value. Your teleological purpose revolves around it. Your ontological identity revolves around it. Your epistemological pursuit of knowledge revolves around it. The mastery of life revolves around it. So identifying that which is why I have on my website a complimentary value determination process free, private To assist people in doing that, I encourage people to take advantage of going on the site and just doing the exercise. That's the first one. Because knowing yourself, being willing to be yourself is the key to loving yourself. That's first. The second one is realising that if you are going to live that way, it will require that you prioritise your perceptions, your decisions and your actions that you're accountable for. Now, if you subordinate to the world around you and become part of the conformed herd, you're not going to do that you're going to fit in instead of stand out. And every human being I've asked people, even in prisons, everywhere in the world I've been, I've asked how many of you want to make a difference, every hand goes up, you won't make a difference fitting in you will make a difference standing out, you have to be willing to be walking your own individual on borrowed visionary path, which is an expression of your own hierarchy of values. So that's the individual heroes is, as Ernest Becker says, the individual hero's path. Emerson describes it as not ending or imitating anyone being yourself a transcendental self. Now, that's number two, identifying what it is and start prioritising your life accordingly. Mastering your perceptions, and asking how is whatever is happening right now in my life, how's it helping me fulfil my highest value, and mastering your actions, what is the highest priority action I can be doing right now that's most effective and efficient to serve the ever greater number of people living by what's highest value so I can have a fulfilled life. So my vocation vacation is the same. The third thing is delegating. If you're not delegating, all lower priority things, you can never expect an inspired life. Because you're too busy doing low priced things. Every time you do low party things, you devalue yourself, every time you do high priced things you value yourself. So if you want to value yourself, so the world will, is doing high priority things, you want to devalue yourself. So the world will is doing lower priced things. So unless you do that, now, the value of that is you now give job opportunities, you help the economy, you increase transaction numbers mathematically, you also increase the the accountability of being more masterful and more of a leader in your life. But by doing that, you give job opportunities you give value to create families, you create society. by delegating, and by delegating, it also holds you accountable to then do the fourth one. And that is serve people in sustainable fair exchange manners. So you can be remunerated and compensated truly fairly. So you have the income to keep paying people that you delegate. So you're serving people, and you're also being rewarded, and you're delegating and opening up the economy, and helping society grow technologically as far as knowledge wise to,
Dr John Demartini 52:59
then you want to make sure that you sustainably with fair exchange, pay the people you delegate, just like serve the people in fair exchange, pay the people in delegation fairly. And you also want to make sure you're grateful for your life by documenting and mentor king what you're achieving, and refining and asking yourself what's working and not working and being honest about that. So you can refine and master your life and document the things you're grateful for in the learning process. These are some of the steps that unquestionably increase the power of power and mastery in your life. So the booklet is just a reminder, some really basic information to help you do it with some questions and some fill in the blanks to help you on your path.
Agi Keramidas 53:47
Thank you very much for this conversation, and for all the wisdom you shared with us. Today, John, I want to wish you all the very best continuing your mission of empowering and Awakening people to their to who they truly are. Any last parting words?
Dr John Demartini 54:10
The magnificence of who you are, the true you is more magnificent than any fantasy you'll ever impose on yourself. So don't live in the shadows of anyone. But stand on the shoulders of great individuals that are living exemplified lives. And go with reflective awareness and dig inside and find out where you have everything that you see in all great people. Nothing's missing. You maybe have compared yourself and expected yourself to be somebody or not. And you're only self depreciate and their purpose yourself to appreciate is to get you back to who you are. Because that doesn't work. But honour that and give yourself permission to shine not shrink, and to radiate not gravitate and to contribute and not depend. And I assure you, you have what it takes to do something extraordinary because you are already extraordinary but you may not have awakened to it yet.
Agi Keramidas 55:14
Thank you so much for listening and I hope you got great value from today's episode. And if you'd be so kind, will you please share this episode with a friend who you think will benefit from listening? And until next time, stand out don't fit in!