#314 How to strip away the labels, overcome the mind virus, and why you need a mentor, with personal branding expert Mary Henderson.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

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Please note that while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present. No part of this transcription can be referenced or reproduced without permission.

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Mary Henderson  0:00  
If you're not experiencing it, you're not moving and growing. And that is 100% accurate. And this is what great mentors have the capacity to do, which is why all that New Age stuff is just a waste of money.

Agi Keramidas  0:17  
You're listening to personal development mastery podcast, helping you take the simple actions to master personal development and create the life you gain for. I am your host, Agi Keramidas. And my mission is simple to inspire you to take action towards a purposeful and fulfilling life. In this podcast, I invite myself inside the minds of remarkable entrepreneurs, authors, thought leaders, spiritual teachers. So if you're ready to find practical insights that you can implement right now, make sure you follow the podcast and get the episodes as soon as they are released. Today's episode, and you've already heard my guests rather controversial comment about your waitstaff in the beginning. So in this episode, we will dive into the relationship of our mind and our emotions, and how having a mentor is critical to success rather than self help books and courses. Let's dive right in. Today, I'm delighted to speak with Mary Henderson. Mary, you are a transformational leader and an internationally recognised personal branding and online business specialist. You help industry experts systemize digitalize and commercialise their wisdom and skills into a profitable online business and the brand. So they become an authority in their niche or industry. Mary, welcome to the show. It's such a pleasure to speak with you today.

Mary Henderson  1:55  
Hi, Agi, it's great to be here to my fellow Greek brother. It's awesome.

Agi Keramidas  2:03  
That was an added surprise.

Agi Keramidas  2:11  
Mary, I'm very excited for this conversation today. And you know, there are many things to talk about. But I would like to talk about, you know, one thing is what I mentioned, converting one's wisdom and skis into a business, but also about the relationship of our mind and emotions that I know that you're passionate about. Before we go there, give us a key defining moment in your journey that is also relevant to the conversation. I understand you had a major epiphany in 2011. So can you take us there and describe what was what happened?

Mary Henderson  2:51  
Oh, I agree. That's the most poignant, you know, origin in mind higher timeline, because it was in 2011. That literally my life not just changed, but also started I feel, you know, I went from I think like everybody, you know, you follow the status quo, you know, you've got a word, get married, do these get mortgages go into debt, you know, doo doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And then, and then most people stay on the hamster wheel. I just had this moment, three hours after my son was born. And I'm thinking to myself, What were everything in my life is a label, you know, my business card just happened to fall out on the bed because I went to get lip balm from my bag on the side of me. My my business card fell on the bed. And suddenly I lifted this card and I'm thinking, Oh, my God, my whole life is a label. This business card is defining who I am in the world, how I show up in the world, how I act in the world, how I'm perceived in this world, how I'm accepted in the world. And then suddenly, I thought, Oh, my God, everything in my life has been like that. And at that time, I had a company I had a software company that I owned for seven years, you know, had an infrastructure was turning over seven figures. I had staff I had clients. And I thought in that moment, I've got to get out of here. I've got to get out of that business. I've got to get out of this mindset, I need to leave my social circles. I don't want credit cards, I want nothing. I need to strip myself bear and understand. Who am I? Quite literally that was the question I asked myself, who actually am I without all of these labels? What it what is left underneath all of that. Anyway, I actually ended up resigning from my own company. Thankfully, we merged my company with another company, January 1 2012. I was the first time in my adult life that I never that I didn't have a job to go to. So I was jobless. You know, and I'm got these two kids, these young young babies. And I remember walking into my computer, and Googling, how do I change my life? And that was the beginning of that 12 month sabbatical, which essentially is the origin. Or I should say, the sliding door moment that brought me right to this moment that you and I are having this conversation.

Agi Keramidas  5:17  
Wow, that's fascinating.

Speaker 2  5:20  
I liked what you said about the labels and who we are, when all these labels are taken away, or we remove them. And it's something really to, you know, to ponder on and, and think about where because many of us, if not most of us, are defined by our labels, which is who we think we are, or who people say that we are, and so on. So that's, that's on its own a truly fascinating concept and thing to consider. I want to find out more about the sabbatical. This is very, very intriguing. So you say you went for 12 months? Did you travel? What did you do worse? What happened?

Mary Henderson  6:06  
Well, that was the next thing, you know, because I couldn't I mean, I would have loved to have just left Australia, gone into India lived in an ashram or a cave, somewhere for 12 months. But unfortunately, my story is not that romantic or dramatic, right. And so I will, I had to, you know, literally create my own, I guess, sanctuary in my own home. But what I did do consciously was cut myself off, literally, from the outside world, from the material world, all social circles, friends, credit cards, as I said, Before, everything had to be cut off, because I needed to get that distraction out of my life. So I can stay focused on this path that I was about to embark on. But when I Googled how do I change my life, I had some search results. And there were all these TEDx talks. And suddenly, I'm there was a TEDx talk on this professor in philosophy was talking about love. And I was like, whoa, this sounds good. So I listened to this guy. And I'm like, Oh, my God, he's going to mentor me. So I reached out to his office. And they told me that no, he's not actually mentoring any more students. He's too busy. He's travelling. He's got he's got 300 keynotes, forget it, it's not going to happen. And I said, No, no, you don't understand. I need this guy. Like, you have no idea where I have to have them. And she's emailed back and forth, back and forth. No, no, no, yeah. And I'm like, Listen, I'm going to interview I'm going to record myself on a video every day. And I'm going to email it to you until he says, Yes. And I was so tenacious. In the end, they said, Okay, he's going to have a meeting with you. So we had a meeting together. And this is a guy who's a professor in philosophy, Oxford University, 30 years, you know, spent, he understands all ancient concepts from all religions, spent 15 years living in Jerusalem. I mean, it just the depth, and the breadth has been in the Vatican vaults. I mean, he had knowledge and wisdom that I couldn't get from a library, Amazon, or self help books. I mean, this was on a whole different level. And he said to me, Mary, I'll take you on as my student, but I'm going to tell you, this is not Girl Scouts, this is going to really rock your world. Are you ready for it? I said, I've never been more ready in my life. And so and then, but I also recognise Auggie, that when I was I engaged him as my mentor. It was amazing. And at the same time, I also recognised that I had a lot of trauma in my body. I was raised with a serial narcissistic mother. So it was very, very traumatic for me as a child, and I was carrying that emotional trauma. I didn't know that I had that much trauma in my body. And so I engaged another expert in in all my mentors, till this date have all been very well, most of them academics, very well researched, people they don't want, they don't want fame and fortune, they just have the knowledge that I want. And, and so I had another one that was very, very proficient in the emotional body. So I had these two amazing mentors that were holding this space for me one, I would like to say that it was more on the soul side of who I am, the other one was more on my physiological part of who I am. So the body, the emotions, really getting deep into that place to start to move that energy and release me from this trauma that I was carrying. And but I learned so much like it really did change my life. And, you know, the thing that i What's interesting Aggie, you know, coming from a Greek heritage, you know, I, I recall actually saying to my mentor, you know, I want to know what the meaning, you know, in the Mystery Schools in Greece when Socrates had him printed on the outside of the Mystery Schools man, know thyself, what does that mean? Because it sounds simple, doesn't it, man, know thyself. But we don't actually understand what that means until we embark on this journey, which is very, very deep, very wide. And I can tell you, based on the 13 year that I'm in on my inner journey, it doesn't end once you're on this journey. It's a journey for the rest of this life, this incarnation, maybe others as well. But you know, and what my mentor was able to help me with was dissect myself, like an onion, you know, just to undress myself every day takes something off another layer another layer and, and keep pushing until I get closer and closer to my true self. And that takes a long time, this is not something you can do in one self help book. So that that journey that 12 months, was the beginning of where I am right now. And you know, and this is why I say that self help books are so dangerous, they are an invitation, but they're also dangerous, if you stay on that trajectory, because they never get you to the depth and breadth that we need to get to, you know, to, to understand the potential and our capabilities as humans and as souls. And once we can get our head around that it changes your whole philosophy, your entire outlook on the world that you live in.

Agi Keramidas  11:36  
Wow, you mentioned so many things. There, Maria, and I will start with, you know, you mentioned your mentors, and you said many things about you know, they they're doing poor importance in your journey, how they help you. And I think for, for many people, they, how a mentor can mentor can help is obvious. However, for other reasons, many people don't have mentors show in a way that you had them. My question to you is, how would one get to find the ideal mentor? So you said yours one, you found it from a TED Talk and your approach, but is there any kind of criterion. So we say to that this is the right person to reach out and mentor be mentored by

Mary Henderson  12:27  
I, knowing what I know today. For me, when when one has the wheel, and the desire to become the better version, or the best version or the truer version of themselves. I truly believe in the idea when the student is ready, the teacher arrives, I 100%. Believe in that that is happened to me all the time, even with the people like Coach, same scenario. But it starts with will and desire, you have to have that inner drive, that knowing inside of yourself that there's something more and what I was very clear on Auggie. I mean, I was very much into all that self help, or all that New Age stuff. So I mean, I've got boxes and boxes and boxes of all that junk in my garage, you know, which I'm about to throw out. Because, yes, as I said, it's an invitation, but it doesn't give you a solution and never gives you the how to how to, it's just information that's just been thrown at you and you kind of have to try to figure it out for yourself, but you never do. So that's not mentorship, you know, but what I knew when I was looking for my mentors, I knew one thing, and that is, I didn't want my mentor to be you know, like, Instagram famous, you know, in the New Age circles, you know, self help, I knew that that is not what I wanted. What I knew I wanted was somebody that was extremely well researched, well educated in their area of expertise. And I didn't want them to be a little bit of everything. I just wanted a master of one. And I didn't go off to a philosopher and a professor and philosopher that was an academic, that was not the intention. It was at that time, the language that my mentor used, resonated with me so much that I knew that was exactly what my soul needed. And it was I was 100% Right? It was like my soul was screaming at me and saying, This is the guy this is it. This is this is the next step. And so I I tuned into that. And I listened to that, and I took radical action and you know, and so I do feel that we kind of already know what we want. Maybe sometimes we can't articulate it. But I do believe that when you have that will and that desire and you are searching for something, the mentor always arrives, then it's up to us to discern. Is this the right one? Is this the wrong one? And this is why we have to ask lots of questions and the right questions, any mentor that we have, you know, and have a list of those questions, you know, can you help me with this? Can you show me how I can get here? Is this something that you teach? Are you qualified in this? You know, they're the questions that we must ask our mentors, because otherwise, we go from point A back to point A, I want to go from point A, to at least the halfway mark, at least. And so he mentored me for one year, to twice a week, same with the other one that was the mentor in the emotional body, he actually mentored me for four years, that's how long I had to spend with him. In order for me to just get into that place where I was, I had freedom, you know what I mean? Like my body was free from the trauma, it's still not free from the trauma, as I said before, it's a work in progress. But, you know, he's helped me understand how to immediately immediately come face to face with the discomfort and feel comfortable stepping into that place. So going back to the mentorship, I truly believe in the idea that a as you said, everyone needs a mentor, when they're crossing a new path, or something's happen on their journey. And they need help with for someone to hold space for them. That's what it is. It's the ability to hold space, because none of my mentors said, you got to do it this way. They gave me the information, knowing that I would arrive at the answer myself, right? That was with all of them. I always arrived at the answer myself, because they all say great mentors will say, Listen, I can't give you the wisdom, you have to experience it, to get one step closer to the treasure chest, I can't just give you the treasure chest. Otherwise, you're not going to experience it yourself. If you're not experiencing it, you're not moving and growing. And that is 100% accurate. And this is what great mentors have a capacity to do, which is why all that New Age stuff is just a waste of money.

Agi Keramidas  17:19  
Before we continue, I want to share something with you that I believe you will find incredibly valuable. We are drowning in information but starving for wisdom. And with over 300 episodes, this podcast has plenty of it, but who has the time to listen to all of them. That's why I've curated the top 10 podcast episodes offering the greatest value in each of the three main categories of life, money, health and self mastery. Get your free resource now by clicking the link in the show notes or by visiting personal development, mastery podcast.com/top 10. Now, let's continue where we left off. It's interesting that you say that also you said earlier that the personal development books are only an introduction, and you refer to it as dunking your guards. So that's quite intriguing, because most people will think otherwise, I do appreciate the point of view that you're making. And I know that reading a book on a throne will do nothing. If you take some action on it, it will do something. But I think for me what I understand the important thing is that it is a journey. It is ongoing. It's what I you know, personally, I refer to this as personal development mastery, the title of my podcast is this journey that yes, inevitably, it is about inner knowing and knowing yourself and show it's not about gaining knowledge on how to, you know, be a better sales. So that's that's a task. It's a skill. Yes, of course, but it is not, you know, the purpose or path as spiritual beings on the planet. So it is. But I mentioned that because you said it a couple of times. And it is something that when you first said that, you know, it's especially use the word junk, which is quite strong for it. But that's how I understand it the way that you said it. So tell me if that's what somehow you mean that session you said?

Mary Henderson  19:36  
Yes, I think it's an invitation. I do believe that I don't believe it's a solution. I think it's an invitation because what most people do there by self help books thinking that's the solution. It's not the solution. You know, it is an invitation it means that you it's up to you to take the next step go deeper step into another realm get another teacher, another mentor another book. I've been very fortunate and very lucky The mentors that I've had, you know, have been able to provide me with knowledge and wisdom, that is not in self help. It's the, it's extremely different to self help from the standpoint that it has led me on a path of self discovery, self empowerment, and most importantly, freedom, you know, in myself not freedom as in like, you know, necessarily financial freedom, although, of course, that's an effect of the cause. But this is internal freedom argue this is mind this is body, this is soul, it's about the activation of the inner.

Agi Keramidas  20:39  
Absolutely. So maybe tell me how, after that

Speaker 2  20:45  
transformational inner journey that you had, and dealing with your emotional traumas and what you said, how was the new marry that emerged out of this transformation? behave in a different way? What was the let's say, I'm sure there were many things. But let's say what was the biggest difference in who the new marry was.

Mary Henderson  21:09  
I think the first very important thing that I came to realise Auggie is that I really fell in love with who I truly am, you know, my traits, my abilities, my gifts, my talents. So I immediately recognise, hey, I've got some really cool stuff that make who make up who I am, like, I've been given a soul print and a DNA print. That's, that's not only awesome, but it's like nobody else's in the world. So that's already a wow factor for me. The other thing is, and this is important, you know, I, my voice is professionally trained from the age of five to 20, of course, my mother especially would not allow me to pursue a career in performing arts, especially singing, because in her mind, that was just not something that we would do in in a European family. That's just that was shame. And so. So here I am, you know, I've got this amazing gift, which is my voice, and I've got this amazing talent, which is just seeing that suddenly has been buried away, and never to be seen ever again. When I went on this journey, I realised hang on a minute, maybe my talent is, is locked away, and that I'm okay with that. But my gift that's been given to me, divinely given to me and encoded in me, is my voice. That's, that's, that's a gift. That's a part of my DNA. That's a part of my soul print. So I can't lock that away. Because that's a part of my natural state of being. The next question is, how am I going to use this every day? How do I bring that gift? And all my other gifts that make up my makeup, my persona, my genetic makeup, my soul makeup, my desires? My dream? How do I bring all of that to live? That that is that has been encoded in me mathematically, how do I bring all of that to live? And I think that what I found Augie is that, that the person that I was, was manufactured by my environment, especially my mother, you know, she was the one that wanted me, I had to be like this act like this speak like this look like these blah, blah, these data these. And you know, and when I kind of moved away from all of that, you know, I was like, you know, for example, I'm gonna this sounds really stupid. But, you know, my mother would always say, you know, you should wear makeup, you should wear makeup, but I don't like, like, bright, full on makeup I never have. So if I was doing things that I would never, ever do, you know, I love just being very natural, and just very feminine. And just just that that's who I always have been. And so when I came back to that core truth, I was like, but this, to me represents beauty. This represents who I am, this is my comfort zone. I like this version of me, I love looking like this. I don't love looking like that. And you know, and then so you we have to bring all of those aspects of who we truly are back to life, instead of lying, letting them lie dormant and saying, oh, you know what, that's who I was at 20. I'm not like that anymore. But I'm saying But hang on a minute. I am like, that's me. I've always been like that. So it's recognising these attributes, these gifts, these talents, traits, values, core values, all of these need to emerge so that we become who we are meant to be in our natural state of being. And in fact, when I'm working with people around personal branding, that's exactly my version of personal branding. How do I package people so they can show up? Unapologetically? as their true core self, not who they aspire to be, but who they truly are. And this is a very important distinction.

Agi Keramidas  25:09  
It is indeed. And I think that bringing our talent to into life, our gift, these attributes that are our true self, I think it is our duty as human beings as divine beings. It is our game. That's why we're here for to bring them out. So, thank you for this answer. Mary, would like to switch a little bit the topic and ask you about, you know, you said that you're very passionate about the, our mind and the emotions. And I would like, because it is something that you incorporate in your coaching. I would like, you know, a brief comment from you on on the topic and how you perceive it.

Mary Henderson  26:02  
Absolutely. One of the things that I noticed when I was starting my coaching business is that I approached my coaching business, which was back in 2015, very much from a masculine standpoint, and society is like this, anyone we live, we live in a masculine power system. So we're always doing doing doing. And so as I was, you know, working with people, people were getting great results, it was no problem. But then I started to recognise, oh, my gosh, there's something missing something missing, something is missing. Some, some of my clients would be super successful very, very quickly. Others would take such a long time. And that really bothered me. And so. And what happened was, this only happened about two years ago, my one of my mentors, the one in the emotional body, we caught up and he said, Hey, what are you doing with all of this wisdom that you've now learned? And I said, he said, Are you giving it to your clients? I said, I can't give it to my clients. They'll think I'm woowoo. And he said, what we said, Take this and say that to me again. And he said, I said, I'll just think that I'm woowoo. He said, But you are we work? That's exactly right. That's exactly who you are. Isn't no one embarks on the journey that you've embarked on. If he weren't, we were. Anyway, he said, the other thing is Mary, he said, this knowledge that you've accumulated, you said you didn't go on. He said, You've been on that many cycles of the hero's journey. He said, Just as you came out of one batch, the universe says go back into it again, then you go get out of that one batch another one. He says, what you've gone through, you know, and you've embraced it. He said in that learning, you didn't do it for you. You did it on behalf of your clients, the ones you have now and the future ones. And I said, Oh my god, I never thought of it like that. He said, You must take this knowledge, and you must share it with them. Because when you share it with them, what will happen is you will move them. And then I recognise argue one thing, and it's this, the people that I work with, they are brilliant at implementing all of the moving parts of the masculine no problem that is 100 out of 100. But becoming it is completely different. embodying that version of you is a whole different ballgame. Why? Because when we come from a masculine power system, we are only being taught how to do do do doing this. Now we've got to be that beingness that's the feminine. And so it means we've got to tap into a much deeper part of us. And this is why the mind and the body plays such a significant role in beingness. Because what I mean by that is this, that we all have thoughts, and we all have beliefs that most of the time are toxic, non beneficial, they're non serving. You know, he said the issue said that dad, these conversations that go on in our heads, we don't have to remove those thoughts. Because if we don't have thoughts, we're dead, essentially, we're not human. So when we don't need to get rid of the thoughts, what we need to do is be consciously aware of the thoughts. Because when we're consciously aware of the mind virus, I call it the mind virus. When we're consciously aware of the mind virus and the role that it plays in our day to day life, then that what happens immediately, it will start telling us, you know, how to think you know, all the things that could go wrong, that we're dumb, we're stupid, we're not worthy, where these where that and then the record player goes on automatically. And what we do is we bind to that fear of course we do because we've already been brainwashed in a masculine power system. So naturally, we're going to step in, but our default is to go into poverty mindset is to go into limitation. I'm not good enough. I can't have a bla bla bla. Now. What feeds the mind virus, emotions, and feelings. That's what feeds it. That's what activates it and keeps it going and going and going and going, I have an amazing relationship with my mind, because it will come in and will go, oh, who do you think you are? And I'll be like, Oh my God, thank you so much for raising this red flag with me. Because you've triggered me, that tells me that I have an emotion connected to it. And now you've given me permission to just sit quietly, and really understand what is the motion that is being triggered here, what is the emotion that I haven't actually come face to face with? What is the emotion that's buried so deep inside of me, and now I have an opportunity and an invitation to feel it, and come face to face with it be comfortable being uncomfortable, and transcend it out of my body. And when I can do that, then I'm in control of my destiny, not my ego. And my body, and my soul are also we're collectively playing a role, I'm merging my mind, my heart, my body together. And we're, we're actively working together in unison, in order for me to be able to transcend the emotional charge the energy, raise my vibration or frequency, so that I can be clear on the reality that I want to experience. That's really difficult.

Agi Keramidas  31:27  
What would you say, you know, to someone thinking that, that they would like to get that awareness of the emotional state that you said that they they feed the mind virus, and I think we've all been there we there becomes a loop or a spiral of bad thought and a bad emotion that comes to it feed in the bad side. So yes, one great tip that or technique you would offer for someone to snap out of it to break out of that, you know, in transplant of being in that loop of the negative emotions and thoughts.

Mary Henderson  32:07  
sitting in silence, I cannot stress this enough. You know, for me, the greatest gift I give myself every day is to sit in silence. I have learned this a long, long time ago. And silence doesn't mean you sit in silence for six hours, I'm not a yogi, I don't leave in an ashram, I don't live in Tibet in the cave. So I'm human, you know, I'm, I'm busy. I've got a mum, I live a human life. So and I, I understand that. But at the same time, I also need to give myself that space, so that I can ask myself very deep and wide questions. And Carl Jung actually states is very, very clear in his research, and he studies in many of his books, that the key to your, your, that your inner freedom is actually to ask the right questions, the how and the why questions. This is critical. So for me, it's very much, you know, just sitting down quietly, and I mean, literally in silence, not necessarily meditating. But it's more contemplation, I'm actually feeling my body, I'm asking deeper questions. I'm co creating with my Creator of the universe, God, whatever you want to call that label, but I'm co creating with my quantum field, I'm co creating with my Creator, I'm asking questions, I'm asking questions, because I'm trying to resolve something that I can't resolve. And I'm asking for my credit to deliver the intelligence that I require in order to solve that problem. And, you know, so that space for me is, is such a, it's not it's beyond sacred. It's, it's, it's, it's such an important knowing that most humans are on the hamster wheel, they're going round and round and round and round and round. You know, they go to work that into a job that they hate that come home, they you know, drink wine, they put on Netflix, and then tomorrow, they wake up and it's a rinse and repeat, you know, and the other thing that I'd like to suggest is that, you know, in 2012 I decided that we were not going to have a TV in our house, and that we were not going to listen to any form of media, or any propaganda, no Netflix, no nothing. Till this day, we still don't do that. You know, I don't drink alcohol. I'm very much interested in in how I'm nurturing my body. So it's funny that when you nurture your thoughts, and you nurture your emotions, the body is stable, the body doesn't need food. To fill that void. The body needs food for sustenance for energy and it asks for beautiful food and healthy and clean energy food. It the relationship again between food emotions and thoughts plays a significant role, and that just naturally happens. So I feel Then if we just gave ourselves permission to start off each day, five minutes in silence, then the next day, six minutes, then 10, then 15 and 20. Some days, I sit in silence for two, three hours, I just love it, I cannot tell you how it's to me, it's like the greatest gift I give myself. And also another thing that I do is also I do a lot of writing. So I write a lot, a lot. You know, I'm constantly My thoughts are always expanding, and constantly writing things, I get really creative outbursts. So for me, the pencil and the paper is very, very important. It's, again, an extension of who I am.

Agi Keramidas  35:39  
Thank you for this answer, Melody there. And this sitting in silence, and asking the questions is something I also find very important to what I do in the day, the more questions I ask, the more answers I will receive, I might not receive them the way or as at the time that I want them. But yeah, it is something that we I think we we need to do to ask the right questions. As you said, you know, I, I was thinking of asking a completely different question, but I will I will leave within not do it. Maryam, I was just following now my own intuition, because there was a question regarding matters, we'll ask it, then sorry, I was trying to make up my mind. You know, I will squeeze it in quickly. You know, a you are. It's very tempting. Now, unapologetically? That you know, you are an internationally recognised, personal branding expert. So I can't resist just asking a quick question about this. What's the number one mistake? You see, you know, the new entrepreneurs, especially the online entrepreneurs make the most common one. So that that's something?

Mary Henderson  37:18  
That's a very good question. Because, you know, I think there's a couple of angles, the first thing is

Agi Keramidas  37:22  
I asked it, then, there you go.

Mary Henderson  37:24  
Exactly. You know, it actually ties in beautifully to what we've been talking about regardless, you know, I think the first thing about personal branding is that it is about who you are in your natural state of being that is the very first thing that we really need to understand. And we need to unpack that and be mindful of the beauty and the currency in that. That's the first thing. The second thing Auggie is that when you start to look at your brand from a different angle, you know, from the attributes that make up who you are your natural state of being. Then the other side of that is, so many people get told, or if you get if you start building your personal brand, which by the way, you can't build your personal brand, your audience build your brand, we just define the brand essence and the brand truth. That's all we can do right as business owners, but what they get told is, hey, build your brand, and then Define Your Niche. Now, I'm going to say that if you're going after a niche, you are limiting your potential and the your ability to expand, not just your business, but also how much money you make, exponentially. So we've got to stop thinking, Oh, I've got to look for a niche. Rather, ask yourself, hey, what problem can I solve in the world? And how can I take someone's pain away? or enhance someone's life? Okay, and that solution that you come up with is 100%, congruent with your personal brand. But what you now have is you can solve a problem, okay, for any person or business in the entire universe. What do you care if it's a man or woman? 20 years old? 50 years old, professional mompreneur. What do you care what the niche is? If you can solve a problem? Wouldn't it be wiser to solve the problem for anyone in the world that needs it? That to me is so delicious, because that's how we raised our consciousness in the world through thinking like that. That's a much more expansive way of looking at your brand, rather than a limited way of putting yourself in this little box. Oh, this is who I am this little box. What do you mean, you're a little bot? You're human. You're amazing. You're not a box. And so that's my advice. Hopefully, I've answered your question, but that I say that with so much conviction, because I get so upset when people say, Oh, this is my niche. What do you mean you're looking after an So you're kidding yourself. So when I explain it like this, people go, Oh my god, I never thought of it like that.

Agi Keramidas  40:07  
It's Yes, you have answered my question. And also, it's, again, very interesting. Because there is, you know, the full, you know, very well the philosophy of lasering down on the niche and making it super, super specific to so it was, again, a thought provoking answer. So thank you for this. Very, I have two last quick questions to ask you to wrap it up. Before before I do that, where would you direct the listeners who wants to find out more about you?

Mary Henderson  40:39  
Just you can email me, Mary at Mary Henderson coaching.com. You can find me on social media at Mary Henderson coaching. Go to my website, Mary Henderson coaching.com. Or you can book a 45 minute strategy call with me. Mary Henderson coaching.com/apply. A PP. l EY.

Agi Keramidas  41:02  
Thank you. And two last quick questions, then Mary. The first one is What does personal development mean to you?

Mary Henderson  41:12  
Oh, it's just such an important part of human evolution. As far as I'm concerned. I think Auggie what humans are, are so magnificent. And yet, we've come on this earth, we're so full of white light, you know, we're just just a clean canvas. And then as we get older and older, the canvas becomes very, very distorted. There's no clear picture, there's all these colours here, colours there. And then we stay like that. Or we look at that picture. And we're like, I don't even know what that looks like, what if I start undoing all of the tapestry? What is underneath it. So for me personal branding is to get back to a higher level of consciousness or to raise my consciousness at such a high level that I'm, I become a critical thinker. Most importantly, I can ask conscious questions, I want to contribute to the world in a much bigger way than just a nine to five job. I lose the notion and, and belief system around fear, shame, all of those lower energy emotions that have been, you know, indoctrinated in us from the school system, of course, and challenge, everything that we've learned, unlearn everything, and start from ground zero. Because what we will do then is define who we are truly, and start to truly understand through our personal development journey, our true potential and True Potential is the ability to activate our creativity at our soul level. And when we understand that, and truly understand it, it changes the whole game, your whole outlook on life is completely different. Because fear is not something that exists. Fear is something that we've been told to believe in, it doesn't exist. So until and we have to understand what that means, though, like me saying is one thing, but actually experiencing it, knowing that it's like, you know, you're not going to pull that wool over my eyes, thank you, but I'm not going to accept that. And so the personal development in the other thing, again, one more thing, you know, I also, I also can't help, but deep inside of me where that real woowoo is, and maybe it's the Greek I don't know what it is, but it's just really, truly understanding that I want to get, I want to transcend to the truest version of who I am. Because I truly believe that spiritually as a spiritual being, you know, that also enhances my not just my ability to co correct but where I go after this incarnation, you know, and I believe in that I truly do. And so, the work that I do on my inner self is not just for who I am as a human on Earth. It impacts everyone that that that touches me, my family, my friends, people that I speak to on podcast, but also it impacts who I become after this incarnation, and that's very important to me.

Agi Keramidas  44:37  
That's great. And, hypothetically, Mary, if you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give her?

Mary Henderson  44:52  
Think that I would say to her, everything's going to be exactly the way you envisage it to be. I think that's what I would say.

Agi Keramidas  45:07  
Maybe I want to thank you very much for this truly fascinating conversation. I enjoyed it. So much. So thank you. I want to wish you all the very best with your mission with what you're doing. And I will ask you about your final thoughts on the subject, or last parting words.

Mary Henderson  45:31  
I always leave my podcast interviews and I like to always say to people, just remember that, you know, you have experienced a lot of things in your life professionally and personally. And when you merge those two things together, that's called wisdom. Wisdom has a currency wisdom, your that wisdom that you carry never depreciate, no one can steal it from you, it gets better with time. And the question I want to leave the audience is what are you doing with it? And that's what I want to end up with.

Agi Keramidas  46:07  
Thank you for listening, and I hope you got valuable insights from today's episode. For your free ebook with the top 10 podcast episodes that offer the greatest value in three main categories of life. Go to personal development mastery podcast.com/top 10

Until next time, stand out don't fit in!