#412 How to harness the power of authentic storytelling for personal and business success, with Sara Lohse.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Sara Lohse 0:00

And as one does, me and one of the strangers I just met went into a tattoo shop, and we wanted to get souvenirs basically. So he asked for the Guinness harp, it looked perfect. I asked for an aeroplane, it looked like a penis.

Agi Keramidas 0:19

You're listening to personal development mastery, the podcast that empowers you with the simple and consistent actions to take that will help you create a life of purpose and fulfillment. I'm your host Agi Keramidas. And this is episode 412. How can you turn ordinary personal stories into authentic and relatable narratives that will impact your professional and personal success? By listening today, you will discover how to turn everyday moments into compelling narratives. You will learn how to embrace vulnerability in your storytelling. And you will hear valuable tips on how to select and craft relatable professional stories that resonate deeply with your clients. Before we dive in, if you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here, this simple quick favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button. Now let's get started.

Agi Keramidas 1:31

Today, it is my pleasure to speak with Sarah Lohse. Sara, you are a storyteller, author, marketer, and brand architect helping mission driven brands amplify their impact. You are passionate about using authentic storytelling as a powerful tool for connection and impact. And you are dedicated to helping individuals find and share their personal stories, transforming them into thought leaders. Sarah, welcome to the show. It's such a pleasure to speak with you today.

Sara Lohse 2:05

Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.

Agi Keramidas 2:08

I'm very excited for this conversation. Because we're going to talk and I think somehow my introduction gave it away a little bit. We're going to talk about how to harness the power of storytelling. That way we all have, so we can grow our business soul become a thought leader also. That's the two things that I saw distinctly that you talk about. So before we go there, would you like to share a maybe a pivotal moment when you realize the true power of storytelling yourself?

Sara Lohse 2:48

Yeah, it was a couple of years ago. And currently I do a lot with helping people guest on podcasts. But before I had ever been a guest on a podcast, I accidentally got myself booked on one of the biggest finance podcasts in the world, okay, to not talk about finance at all. But to tell a really embarrassing story about a bad tattoo I got on a vacation. And that somehow changed my entire career. Because this was a story that I would tell at a bar for a laugh. And it was so small, so silly, no value to it. But it was funny. So the host wanted me on his show to tell that story. And it became his job to find the value in it. So he actually guided me to tell this ridiculous travel tattoo story in a way that made it a really powerful, like journey of self discovery and how I changed my life and became more brave and started taking more risks. So that was the day that I learned how to tell my own story, and learn that no matter how small and inconsequential this story seems, if you know how to tell it right? It can have a huge impact.

Agi Keramidas 4:12

I'll come back to that. Right now I'm fascinated the way you you describe it already. I'm fascinated to hear that story about the tattoo because it's impossible not to. So I'm looking forward to hearing what was that story then that created this shift for you.

Sara Lohse 4:36

So I took a solo trip to Ireland back in my early 20s. And I was on a bar crawl through Dublin with a bunch of strangers because it was solo trips. I didn't know anybody. And as one does, man, one of the strangers I just met went into a tattoo shop and we wanted to get souvenirs basically. So he asked for the Guinness ha ARP looked perfect. I asked for an aeroplane, it looked like a penis. So I came home, it was mortified got it covered as soon as I could. But fast forward a couple years, I'm at Podcast Movement and Nashville, I stalk the host of Stacking Benjamins for three days trying to get him alone. So I could talk to him, I wanted to book, the host of a show I produced at the time on his show, because it's one of the biggest financial shows. And I finally get him alone. I have him cornered. And I pitch the host say all of these great things about how he's an expert in this and this, and he has these designations, this many years of experience. And Joe just looks at me says, Yeah, that's great. I don't need an expert. I want someone with a cool story. And I think I had a stroke, maybe, because what I said next was do you want to hear about the time I got a tattoo of a penis while I was in Ireland? And he did. And that is how I accidentally got myself booked on Stacking Benjamins.

Agi Keramidas 6:06

It's a very interesting story. They absolutely and you were saying earlier and we'll come back to that about, you know, this particular story with Dotto it has certainly an element of humor, an element of mystery and an element of embarrassment. So there are many things, you know, vulnerability may be more than. So, I will go back a few steps. And I will use it you were saying that own stories, or each of us has stories that are powerful, and that they can make an impact. So let's go a little bit back. Because someone might not be ready to open up and says something like, You know what you did in the podcast, which is great for you. But I'm sure you will appreciate that maybe many people would not would prefer to say

Sara Lohse 7:09

something people have asked why I did.

Agi Keramidas 7:13

So I want to speak a little bit more about the more, let's say ordinary. And I will say it ordinary quote or quote because there are no ordinary moments or stories. But can you tell me about the power of those stories? So let's move over there first.

Sara Lohse 7:35

Yeah, the ordinary stories are really the ones that I want to focus on. Because those are the ones that I think are the important ones. And the reason for that is you can hear these amazing stories that are headline worthy, that changed the world that are just these massively impactful stories. And those are great, and they're inspiring, and all of that, but they're not relatable. I've never experienced something like people like Malala, or Martin Luther King, Jr. Like all of these people who have these amazing stories that everyone around the world knows, I don't have that. I have ordinary stories, I have everyday struggles, I have stories of me just trying my best and messing things up and having to fix them and all of these just little stories that make up my life. And that's what you have to and that's what most of us have. So when you focus on those little stories, even though they seem small, everybody listening probably has been through something similar. And when we tell stories, we tell them because we want to build connections, and connections come from shared experiences. So telling those experiences you tell the people that you're talking to that I know what you've been through, because I've been through things that are the same. And this is how I got through it. And this is what happened with me. And I can help you also make it through whatever this small experience is.

Agi Keramidas 9:04

That's great. And, you know, I was thinking that about the origin or stories about the story of someone who has done something extraordinary like you know, climbed Mount Everest or whatever. How that story might sound very impressive, but it's not relatable at all, because no one has done exactly that what I got that was very important was you talked about the bathing connection, because the audience or the feels that the experience is shared. So what I wanted to discuss with you and hear your expertise is you know, each of us the person listening right now have many stories like that many men what There are some ways that one can, you know, find them among the collection that they may have. And let's start with that. What are some ways? Which are in other words, which of my life are the good stories? Or they're relatable stories? Or does it depend on something else?

Sara Lohse 10:21

It depends on so many things. And it depends on the situation, it depends on what you're trying to relate to what message you're trying to present and what you're trying to get people to understand. But a lot of the times, all you really need to do is look back at the moments that we're kind of like the fork in the road, like, when did you have to make a big decision? What When did you have an experience that changed something for the future. And those moments of just big choices, and the moments of change the moments that you kind of got a new perspective, those are so important, because other people have been through similar struggles, they've had to decide one thing or another, everyone's been through that. So if you can talk about a big moment in your life that changed something for you, that's gonna be an important story.

Agi Keramidas 11:15

I get the forks, as you said, the decisions and definitely that is very advantageous to him that my mom, my best stories are about, you know, big sifter big chains to something else. Hey, having heard those stories or having decided some will say that, okay, I'm going to pick this and that from my life of this decision, or of this major shift or anything else? What is then a way to refine these stories? Because, and I know, I'm asking, I'm asking you to give me you know, a condensed version of what, you know, which I know, it's not possible, but I want to, you know, at least get an overview of how one can refine these stories and work on on them. Yeah,

Sara Lohse 12:12

there's a few factors that I think make a story very compelling. One is that it has the right amount of detail. I, when I told you my simple little tattoo story, I didn't tell you the entire backstory, I didn't tell you what happened next. And I didn't tell you all of these extra details, I only told you the details you needed to know. So that you would understand the story. And that's important, because a lot of people, they'll over detail it and they'll get lost in the weeds. You want to give details, you want people to be able to see it happening so that they can feel like they were there. Because that's almost like faking a shared experience. If they feel like they were there, they feel like they've gone through it. So you want to get rid of all those extra details that you don't need. And you want it to be unexpected. And that can be the difficult part, especially when it comes to these ordinary everyday stories. Because they're not that unexpected. It's everyone's been through this. So that is kind of the trick to making it the way that you tell it being important. So my story of this tattoo, it could have just been a story of I went on a trip, realize I could do things on my own, decided to pack up move across the country, all of that, that's kind of expected like okay, big decision, have this big experience, make changes from there. But instead, I tie it back to the embarrassing part. And I got the tattoo as a reminder of that trip. So now it stands as a reminder of all of these things that happened. But if I just come out and say I got a tattoo of a penis allows in Ireland, no one sees that coming. So I'm able to take this simple story and make it unexpected by focusing on kind of like the punchline of the story.

Agi Keramidas 14:13

If you enjoy this episode, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them, I'd really appreciate it, it helps the show grow. And you will also be adding value to people you care about. Thank you. And now let's get back to the episode. Give me one more example like this the unexpected thing and so if can you pick another story like a more, let's say, not as intense service as the Yota two story and give me that or an example of that unexpected element or how can Yeah, what's the one kind of three core techniques that you use to make it unexpected?

Sara Lohse 14:57

So the the technique that I use is It's kind of storytelling in reverse. Because I call it the upfront method. It's the I bet, you're wondering how I got here, kind of storytelling that you see in movies and on TV, instead of me telling the story and leading up to Oh, and then I got this tattoo, I tell the punch line first. So I could have told that whole story and then said, and then I got a tattoo, and it doesn't have the same punch, it doesn't have the same effect. Because you've already kind of been bogged down with all of these details and everything. And you've been trying to figure out, alright, where is she going with this. But instead, just taking the ending and that hook and moving it to the beginning, it changes the power of it, because they it removes the context. And if you take away context, anything can become unexpected. That's

Agi Keramidas 15:56

through remove the context. That's a very, very good tip, Sarah, thank you. Let's talk also about some common mistakes that you see people that share stories, maybe you already said, about, you know, going into many details which are unnecessary. So give me one or two more of the, you know, the common mistakes.

Sara Lohse 16:22

Yeah, one that I see a lot, is something I call forest vulnerability. And for some reason, when we talk about stories, we talk about telling stories and personal stories that we use in the professional space and all of that, people seem to think that the story has to be a sob story. And it has to be an very emotional, very heart wrenching story. And what I've seen people do is they tell this really big, impactful story from their life that changed their life that you that they had a disease, they thought they were going to die, or they were poor and about to live on the street, all of these things that are very great stories. But then they try to tie it to a message that doesn't fit. And it's like trying to force a lid on this story that just isn't meant for it. And it just, it feels so disjointed. So you hear the story. And then they say, and so this is why you need this. So you need to do this. So you need to understand this. And it's like, that's not why that doesn't, that doesn't matter, like add up. But they want it to use that story to get that connection and to really draw the audience in. But then when you get to the end, you lose them. So I think people need to realize that you don't have to tell that emotional of a story, especially in the professional space. Yes, personal stories are great. But you can also tell professional stories, you can tell case studies stories, you could tell stories about a project that you worked on for a client and the results that you that you can tell stories that are not heart wrenching. If they're going to drive the point home better.

Agi Keramidas 18:09

You said, you know that some people try to tie the story to a message that doesn't fit. And I wanted to ask to speak specifically, you know, for someone listening, who is an entrepreneur that uses, you know, or wants to use storytelling in order to get more clients? Which kind of story or how can one select the stories that then the message will feed? Has it have to do? How much relevant can it be? Are there any guidelines there with with that?

Sara Lohse 18:48

That's a really good question. Part of it is the story should be connected to how you learn the lesson that you're trying to teach. And what I see is people will take the thing that changed their life the most. And because it changed their life, it must have impacted the way they learn the message. But it's really a stretch. It's not easy to see that connection. So when you look specifically at this is what I want you guys to understand. This is how I learned it. Think back to what was happening when you learned it. What was the circumstances? What was the situation that you were in? What did you have to do differently? What did you learn? And that's going to be way more relevant than trying to force in something really emotional. And you can still have emotions and stories like that stress is an emotion anxiety, things that are you are overwhelmed and this is how you felt. It doesn't have to be scared. It doesn't have to be heartbroken. It can Just be those feelings that we experience at work every day. Those are still emotions. And I think one of the things that is really going to be pivotal and having those connections is, we tend to only show our highlight reel. We want to tell the stories of this is how I reached this level of success. And I did this fantastically. And now everything in my life is great. That is not true. I promise you, you have messed something up. And if you've never messed something up, you've never tried anything new. So, transparent recount stories, talk about the mistakes. Every story doesn't have to have a happy ending. And my favorite stories are the ones that don't, the ones that you messed up, you tried to fix it, and you couldn't and you had to start over. It doesn't have to be and then I found the solution. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes it's back to the drawing board. And being able to tell a story like that admitting that you're not perfect, you mess things up, you don't always know the answer. But you're able to show that no matter what you still kept trying. And you've gotten to this point, because despite not finding those answers, all of those times, you kept trying again and again until you found it. And we try to avoid those stories. Because we want to seem impervious, we want to seem perfect. And that's not relatable, nobody else.

Agi Keramidas 21:33

We started the conversation and talking about vulnerability in the storytelling. So tell me a bit more about you know, its importance or anything else that might be important for someone listening and wondering, Salah salary, shall I no turn or

Sara Lohse 21:52

vulnerability is incredibly important. Because it makes you human. And if I'm listening to someone tell a story. And they sound like a corporate stooge, that's just telling the history of the company. That's not interesting. That's not compelling. I don't feel like I'm talking to a person, I feel like I'm talking to a humanized logo. And especially because a lot of the times I'm talking to you entrepreneurs, and I'm talking to small businesses, people who really are their brand, you're you have to see your brand is more than just a logo, you have to see your brand as just an extension of who you are. And it's just you on paper, like my company, favorite daughter media, it you can look at anywhere on either my website, my book, anything you see, you're going to just see me, it's so personal that way, because I did that intentionally. So when you're able to open up and show that you're human, people don't want to connect with a business, they want to connect with the people behind it. So you're going to instantly grab people in far more than you would if you try to just stay as a company or stay being that brand.

Agi Keramidas 23:06

Thank you. So tell me also about your book, which is the the art of storytelling for aspiring thought leaders. I'm asking specifically WhatsApp, shall someone expect to find there? Or what will they get by getting the book read the book?

Sara Lohse 23:28

Yeah, open this book, the art of storytelling for aspiring thought leaders. It was a project that took me over a year to finish. And I wanted to write it because I had a ridiculous way of figuring out that my story mattered. And I wanted other people to figure that out. So it's kind of a part book part memoir, part journal. It's a little bit of everything. Because I'm teaching how to tell a story. i It's talks about the types of stories, you can tell how to figure out which ones are important, how to structure it, so that it's really compelling. All of these different concepts that are really vital to telling a good story. But the way that I teach it is I teach it through my own stories. Because if I'm telling you that the title itself is kind of a pun, it's open this book, because I want you to become an open book, tell your stories. And if if I'm going to do that, if I'm going to expect that a view I have to do it myself. So all of the lessons there are some case studies and examples from pop culture that people will understand. But a lot of it is just my own stories. And I even include the maid of honor speech from my best friend's wedding, because it's a great example of a certain way of telling a story and structuring a story. So it's very personal. So it almost borderlines memoir, but after every section I give journal prompts and thinking exercises and ways that people can start writing down their ideas, getting their stories together and really putting To all of the different concepts into action, because I can just tell you to think about this, but I want you to really do it. And I really want people to start coming up with those stories that they didn't see value in before and realize that there is some value there.

Agi Keramidas 25:18

Definitely, thank you for that, Sara. And you also have a free storytelling journal, which I understand that you will give to the listeners. So tell tell us about that.

Sara Lohse 25:32

Yeah, all of the journal exercises that I put in my book I pulled out as well. And I have them available for free download at openness journal.com. So it's everything from the book, I include a little bit of context. So the journal entries are easier to understand without giving the entire book away. But all of the journal prompts are in there, so you can just print it out and start working on your story just for free.

Agi Keramidas 26:02

That's awesome. Thank you for that. It's a great step. And let me ask you one more. Apart from this, get from someone getting your journal and seeing for themselves the power of what it is that you do and how you share the storytelling. What is some others axon that one can take, you know, tonight or tomorrow morning to improve, let's say all carry on that journey into better storytelling, more impactful storytelling? I know we've said quite a few already. But does that? Is there anything that comes to mind that might be very relevant now?

Sara Lohse 26:47

Yeah, a couple. One would be just be very cognizant of just your day to day. Because every day something is going to happen. That can be a great story. There's a quote that I include in my book, that's great stories happen to those who can tell them. So pay attention to the details, and pay attention to the emotions that you feel in certain when something happens in your day. Because those are stories that you can come back to later. And another thing okay. It's always hard to put these into words, which is my job, storyteller, but so pay attention to things that happen every day. But also, I'm a writer, and I've always been a writer. And they say that if you want to be a great writer, you have to be a great reader. Yeah, if you want to be a great storyteller, you have to listen to stories, and read stories. And it's almost like practice makes perfect. And sometimes the way that we practice is by watching the Great's watch people tell stories. And the storytellers that I admire the most and the ones that I the people that I think tell the best stories are stand up comedians. So this is a very easy and fun piece of homework. Go watch the end of comedy. They are such masters at telling stories, not all of them. Of course, there's gonna be a couple that are like, Yeah, but some of the greats, the greatest storytellers, ever were stand up comedians, because they managed to take a story that is so relatable, and make it compelling, make it funny, but it's something that an entire stadium can relate to. And they don't generally talk about these crazy stories and these crazy on relatable topics. They talk about the most simple things that talk about airline food and traffic, and things that are generally like, okay, that's super boring. No one wants to listen to that. But they tell it in a way that is interesting and is compelling. And it's funny. And they choose those stories for a reason they choose it because it's what every single person in that stadium has dealt with. There's probably not a single person there that hasn't been stuck in traffic, or hasn't been stuck on an aeroplane. So they choose those boring stories, but they're so great at telling them that they make them not boring. So watch the end of comedians, watch the commencement addresses at colleges, watch people give their maid of honor speeches or their best man speeches. Anyone who's telling a story, just watch how they do it. And you're going to learn so much and start emulating the people that do it really well.

Agi Keramidas 29:48

Thank you very much. This was brilliant the actions the listen, read stories and also be cognizant of your day to day this very useful data. Thank you Before we wrap up today, and thank you very much for this very valuable conversation you for having. We did give, you know, to someone that was not sure whether the story is powerful enough that at least the incentive to think about it more and realize that every story is powerful. As we were saying, you know, in the very beginning, I do have two quick questions that I always ask my guests. And the first one is What does personal development mean to you?

Sara Lohse 30:38

That's a good question. For me, personal development is just always growing and growing and something that excites you. I think of personal development as becoming an expert in a topic. But expertise is something that is misunderstood. I don't think to be an expert, you have to know everything to be an expert, you just have to be endlessly curious about something. And always be learning more about it. Always be looking for more answers and finding new questions. So if you want to be if you want to develop, just be curious.

Agi Keramidas 31:15

I like that. Thank you. And a hypothetical question. If you could go back in time and meet your, let's say, 17 year old self, which one piece of advice you would give her?

Sara Lohse 31:27

Stop posting dramatic song lyrics on Facebook? Throw out those pants you really liked. They look terrible. Don't get bangs. But also have more respect for yourself. I think I definitely it took me many, many years to accept who I am and be willing to be unapologetically myself. And I wish I'd done that sooner.

Agi Keramidas 31:59

Very solid piece of advice. Sara, I want to thank you very much for our conversation today. I enjoyed it very much. And there were many things that I also learned with what you were saying and got inspired to do so. I want to wish you all the best with your boss in your personal and professional life. I will leave it to you for parting words or some actionable wisdom, I will leave it to you.

Sara Lohse 32:28

Thank you so much for having me. This is a lot of fun. If anyone wants to start telling their story, he wants to start learning how to tell it better. Go to open this journal.com and download the free journal. And if you come up with your story, send it to me. I would love to read it all out if you go to openness journal, all my contact info and everything is there. So reach out to me and tell me your story.

Agi Keramidas 32:53

And before I end today's episode, if you enjoy this podcast, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them? I'd really appreciate it it helps the show grow and you also add value to people you care about. Thank you. And until next time, stand out don't fit in!