#414 From addiction rock bottom to resilience, purpose and skydiving, with mental health advocate Peter John Mather.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Peter John Mather 0:00

If you've ever thought about making a phone call to someone if you've ever thought oh, you know what I should ring that person. I'm living proof right now. So you're talking to you your beautiful soul human being that if you ever have that fiber ring, someone just pick up the phone and ring them because you never know what you're going to do for them on the end of the phone. And if it wasn't for my business partner, I wouldn't be here right now.

Agi Keramidas 0:26

You are listening to personal development mastery, the podcast that empowers you with a simple and consistent actions today that will help you create a life of purpose and fulfillment. I am your host, Agi Keramidas. And this is episode 414. In today's fast paced world, many of us face overwhelming challenges that this our mental strength and emotional well being. Whether it's the stress of financial instability, the heartbreak of failed relationships, or the burden of substance abuse. These struggles can leave us feeling isolated and hopeless. Today's episode offers a beacon of hope for those seeking to overcome adversity. Today's episode is about mental health, resilience, and personal growth. You will be moved and inspired by the story of my guest, Peter. But more than that, you will discover practical tools for mental well being these tools could save someone's life. Before we dive in, if you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here, the quick simple favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button. Now let's get started.

Agi Keramidas 2:09

Today, it is my real pleasure to speak with Peter John Mather. Peter, you are a celebrated skydiver, mental health advocate and transformational speaker. You battled with substance abuse and low self esteem from a young age even suffering a heart attack at 21 due to a cocaine overdose. Skydiving became your lifeline leading you to represent Great Britain and win national championships. You are passionate to share your story to inspire and help others showing that change is possible and life is for living. Peter, welcome to the show. It's such a real joy to speak with you today. Thank

Peter John Mather 2:54

you very much for the intro. That was beautiful. Thank you very much for having me on the show. It's

Agi Keramidas 2:59

my real pleasure. And let me start I think we have to start this conversation by sharing how we know each other. So maybe I'll let you I'll let you say how we know each other when I say quickly my point of view and then we can move on. While I think it is important, because it sets I think a very nice preface to everything that will go on to speak afterwards.

Peter John Mather 3:24

Yes, I so we met and a man will be very different to yours, as well. Oh, we met but we met we met at Birmingham, the UK and it was for a Tony Robbins event which was UPW in July of 2020. Free. And that was my first event there for work volunteering for Tony, which was a fantastic event. And I remember meeting yourself. And the thing that stood out for me with you was that when we did the the magic moments at the end, which was you know, where everybody stands up and I remember you talked about this when Bill was on on your show as well. It was just so you were just so beautifully put about how you wanted to show different things on your podcast and that's what you know, that's that's one of the big things that reminded me I know the thing that you are remind you of is very different to that and I want you to share that with everybody right now. Please because that really made me laugh when you told me this.

Agi Keramidas 4:30

Yes I do. Remember you asked the loud guy of the fire team who were the group of us the volunteers that were responsible for creating the fire the codes for the fireworks so I do remember your voice was it was heard from everywhere around the room. So that's how you know those was my first you know, impression of you in here. We are almost, you know, 10 months after that, and we're going to have a conversation on on the podcast about, I think it's going to be quite different. But I suppose at some point, the fire team and Tony Robbins volunteer, and then the cruel might come up. So we'll see how it goes. But the the main, let's say, topic that I want to discuss with you. And I know that this is what you also want to share and make a difference is about mental health is about things that, you know, not, not everyone is familiar with or talks about openly. And you know, what I would like to start with Peter is your story in particular, there was that period in 2020, just before COVID started that, I realized that you had some immense challenges that happened that led to but I don't want to share the story myself. So please, take us back to that time, where were you so that then we can see what led to the, you know, the low points that happened? I

Peter John Mather 6:20

think I want to touch on something that you mentioned earlier as well, that a for 18 years, I was a substance abuse addict, okay. Why is a substance abuse addict is because I did abuse alcohol on I did abuse, drugs at the time, cocaine especially was the drug that I really abused, and you are correct, at the age of 21. I did have a heart attack, and they brought me back to life and, and you would have thought that would have stopped me from doing anything outside of that. But unfortunately, I didn't know how to deal with my mental health issues at that time, self esteem being a big one. And again, you know, a limiting belief of that I'm not enough, that was what I did for a very, very long time. So and I think it became apparent more when I bought a drop a skydiving center. So I am a person that is very driven and growth, I didn't really know it until I started doing stuff with Tony and stuff like that as well. And it will come up in the comments, but I decided to buy a drop zone, a skydiving Center, which was an airplane with 27 members of staff with 186 acres of land with it. And I was gonna go into business with free over human beings, which are my business partners still to this day. And that was a remember the day I'll never forget, it was a beautiful day that I was actually in the Caribbean on a beautiful boat. And the solicitors were dealing with all the stuff with the three of our business partners back in the UK. And I'll never forget the day it was a stunning day it was looking out on the boat and you know, you you know when you've had them days with are absolutely beautiful. And I'm on a zoom call kind of thing as well looking at to see. And I watched this oyster and everything signed, like the paperwork to say we now own this amazing business that we were going to transform and it was going to be beautiful. And I was like, yes, like we just completed something that someone actually told me that I would never do. And that was kind of like the one thing that gave me the drive and the motivation to get to that point. And then three days later, but actually it was not even three days, two days later, that's when COVID stroke. And that's when the whole world started to kind of shut down. And I was in the Caribbean. I was in Grenada at the time, and all of the Caribbean started to shut down. So I ended up going flying out to Miami and that was kind of a an eye opener for me though, because the whole of Miami if you've ever been to Miami, like it's a busy busy city, right? And we got off the plane and there was nobody around. So that was a realization that hey, you know something is going on massive way. And at that point, I'll be honest with you how I was kinda like, you know, they still brush over it. So it's just the kind of the couple of weeks you know if that you know and, and the guys back in the UK were saying to me, Hey, what's happening so I said I'm getting a flight home. Next flight home, I knew there was something going on but I said we're going home. So we got back to London, and we got up to the Northwest where I live near Manchester. And at that moment then I was kind of like well they're going to shut us down because you know like no one really knows what this is you know we'll just stay open will stay open and on. We arrived never forget this. We arrived back in the northwest of England near Manchester on the Saturday and then I went up to the news Got our incentive, which I just bought with my free business partners on the Sunday, and we operated for one day realistically of owning the business where it was open. And then on the Monday, they shut the whole country down. So we literally had just invested all this money into this business. And we didn't even know where the money was going to come from after that. And that was the moment that I reverted back to, like, holy shit, what are we going to do, we just took on humongous amounts of financial kind of money from people and, and the banks, and we didn't even know where our next Penny was coming from, nevermind, no, we're gonna pay for the staff, nevermind how we were gonna pay for the aircraft, or we were going to pay for the mortgages, I really didn't have a clue. And my my job in the company is, that's my job, like, I am the finance guy. That's, that's what I have to do. I'm like, the person that finds these ways in these avenues of how to create and get money out of, you know, from nowhere really sometimes. So that was the first time that I really felt kind of like, I don't know what to do. And, and again, that was one of the things that I went back to my own out of control kind of self. And I think you can understand, and a lot of people out there who are listening probably can understand that when something becomes out of our control. We don't understand it. So I just reverted back to the right. Okay, so now I'm going to go back to the drugs and the alcohol. And I didn't really go back to the alcohol, but I did go heavily on the drugs. And this was at the beginning of COVID. And it was, it was a pretty No, let's be honest, it was it was a really hard time. At that point. I didn't know what was going on. And I had a partner at the time who she she didn't really know what was going on either and, and that relationship got really on the rocks, you know, and then we got going again in business. And then it really kind of snowballed from there where I just didn't really know where I was coming, I go. And the biggest thing I'm going to say is that I didn't talk about it. Like, I really didn't talk about it. And then it got to a point where I own some of our businesses as well. I'm very grateful and honored and and, you know, that I do have over avenues in life would business and I'm very driven in what I do. And there was a moment where in one of my other businesses that it got too much with the drugs. And I was like, Okay, I must change my partner at the time had left me. And I remember saying to myself, I don't know whatever I do right now. But if I don't continue, I'm gonna die. We're gonna die very, very quick. Because this is getting to a point where it was ridiculous it was every single day. You know, what, are

Agi Keramidas 13:12

you afraid you'll have another heart attack? Like you can't,

Peter John Mather 13:16

there was many times I'll be honest with you where I went to sleep. And I didn't think I was going to wake up. Right? Many times. Like, if we're open and transparent about this, you know, I was, I was taking that many drugs. At one point I was having to take 50 milligrams of Valium to get to sleep. But right at the end, right, right at the end where things got really bad. And this was a rat at the end of 2020. This was like the second lockdown Fifth of November, I have some other businesses in the firework game. And at that point, the girlfriend at the time had left me. And that's when I start hitting the drink again, as well. So it's not doing all of it. And I was getting people to drive me around and ever drove and you know, and some people knew about it, some people didn't know about it, they just didn't know what to do. And at that point, I like I say, you know, it got to a point where I decided that I must stop. And at that point, then this

Agi Keramidas 14:18

will take us. Can you take us to that that decisive moment or that turning point was that whatever that so

Peter John Mather 14:26

Okay, so the turning point to that moment was I was stood in my shop. And at that point, it was a fifth of November, it was the second lockdown in the UK and the police were trying to close me down. And one of the one of the things that I'm very good at is I find the rules and the regulations and the laws and they when they came in there was six of them in the shop, three of them in riot gear and three of them not. And I stood there and I was like at that point. I'll be honest, I had some cocaine. Right I, and there was a moment then, when I looked, and I was like, if I don't change right now, I'm not only going to lose my partner at the time, which had, she'd already left, I'm also going to lose my business. I'm also going to lose my other businesses. And I'm also going to lose my family, which will be my mom and my dad. And I'm also going to lose everything that I've worked for that hard for this one thing, you know, this one drug, you know, wonder org, and I'll be honest with you, I've never, this is the first time I've told that moment on on either TV or a podcast or anything. So thank you for bringing that up. And I remember looking at this police officer, and all these other police officers in the shop, and I was like, Okay, this is never, this is a sign. So this is the sign is to stop right now. Like, because you're going to lose everything, like my life, at that moment, would look really pretty on the outside and really cool. But inside, I was dying. And when people say the rock bottom, like that was a moment where I fought, I hit rock bottom, which made me which gives me the energy to shift a little bit. And that little bit of shift was enough to say, Okay, enough is enough at that point. And then from there, I want started finished at Dan actually traveled to Portugal. And when I drove to Portugal, I listen to a book and one of the books, one of the one of the it was the first ever book I've ever listened to, or get re and it was called The Secret. The law of attraction, the secret, right? And I listened to it all the way there. And I was like, sweet, boom, I'm going to change my life like yet law of attraction law of attraction. So I'm doing the whole law of attraction all the way there. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, this is this is, this is the new step. And at that moment, it was it was tough, you know, it's tough, I've just come coming off drugs, you know, coming off drugs, and I've just been through a traumatic time. And then that's when it became really tough, because that's when I really realized, at that moment, that you have this inner thing with this past your mind, which is called your heart. And that's where my heart got broken. You know, I remember getting some flowers for, you know, when you you know, when you when you've been, you know, when you're in a moment where you're excited to see someone, you know, and you can understand that the excitement is yesterday, I'm doing really well, I've stopped the drugs, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, you know, and then all of a sudden, she decided that she couldn't cope with what we'd been through. And I totally understand that. And, you know, you must know someone that there's been to that place, if not yourself and people out there listening, you know, you can understand where I can understand from her point of view 100%. And I'll never forget where I was, it was on a beach and in Portugal, and it was beautiful blue skies, and it was, you know, beautiful smell from the beach was just coming up and I could really smell the sear. And I could feel the sand in my toes. And it was just like, I was just a moment of that beautiful nurse. And I was so happy at that point that I was making these changes. And then all of a sudden, she just looked at me and cried and said, I'm sorry, I can't be with you normal. And it was like, someone had just ripped open my heart completely into two different pieces. And it was the same moment in realistic terms, except it was a different emotion. But it was the same feeling as when we got shut down in COVID. And at that moment, then it was like what do I do? So

Agi Keramidas 19:16

how did you handle that I was about so

Peter John Mather 19:19

this is where you know at that moment the tears are running down my face you know the emotion is really strong. A heart feels like he's been ripped open the whole kind of map. My everything is literally outside of me and and the one thing I did was this, I just walked back up to the top and I stood on the edge of a cliff. And I said fuck it. What's the point in living? And at that moment, there was something that came over me that said you know what? You know, if you're going to do it properly, Peter, be a man and take the car with you take the car with you, if you're going to get go, don't jump off the cliff, you know, get in the car and race the car at the turf and take the car straight off the cliff. So I got back in the car. And I said, Okay, fine. And I did the law of attraction. And I visualized me driving off the cliff. And I visualize the car leaving. And I said, Okay, now is the time, I don't need to say bye to anybody. But in us enough, I've only know if I'm in 2.7 million pounds of a debt, I still don't know where the money is coming from COVID. A don't business isn't great, because COVID We're not fully open, we know we don't have a lot down. And these are all the things that we're going through my mind. Like, everything was going through my mind. Like, you know, I've lost the love of my life. By the way, that was what I thought at the time. And she was a big part of my life. So, so I all this stuff going through my head. And in my heart, there was just nothing It was dead. Like, it was like I had another heart attack. So I decided, right? Cool. And I'm saying this law of attraction, shit didn't work, did it? So now I'm getting angry. So now I'm going for the over emotion of getting angry. So I start the car up when I drive the car, to the cliff. And as I'm driving to the cliff, the phone rings, right? And on the car, you know, on the car, you have a red or a green button to say yes or no to answering it says, accept or decline. Um, for some reason, I press the green button. And the question I asked myself, even to this day is, you know, in life, you always have a choice, whether you pick the red button, or whether you pick the green button. And at that moment in time, I picked the green button, which was a choice of mine, whether it was subconscious conscious, or it was my soul, or it was guided, or whatever. I pushed that green button on it was my business partner on the end of the phone. And all he said to me was all right, big man are you doing? And that was it. I just stopped the car broke down and started to cry. And and then from that moment there, I knew at that moment that my life was worth living because somebody who hadn't even I hadn't even spoke to for like, a month. Because I'd been so busy with the fireworks. And I don't speak to my business partners. For some reason. He had called me for no reason at all. So the reason, and he knew he didn't know on the day, I didn't tell him on the day. But he still didn't know for a good six months until we did a BBC documentary together, that he was the one that saved my life. And at that moment in present at that time, I was like, wow, he had no reason to call me and, and he did. So that was a massive sign to me. And then I said to myself argue, right? I said, well, that law of attraction stuff does really work.

Peter John Mather 23:19

And that is the story of the that is the start of my real journey began. Like that is how I got to that point. And the journey of how I've come out to that is just even more phenomenal because sometimes in life, we have to go to these places where I can promise you that was the darkest point in my entire life, like even darker than being when I had the heart attack at 21. Because at that point, I was actually having fun. And that went wrong at that point. And from there I then went on to trying to understand personal development and how I was going to come out of this mindset of not being enough, not loving enough not being cared for not loving. And the one thing that I realized from that phone call is if you've ever if you've ever thought about making a phone call to someone if you've ever thought oh you know what I should ring that person. I'm living proof right now say you're talking to you your beautiful soul human being that if you ever have that fiber ring, someone just pick up the phone and ring them because you never know what you're going to do for them on the end of the phone. And if it wasn't for my business partner, I wouldn't be here right now.

Agi Keramidas 24:35

If you enjoy this episode, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them? I'd really appreciate it. It helps the show grow and you will also be adding value to people you care about. Thank you. And now let's get back to the episode.

Agi Keramidas 24:53

First of all thank you for sharing what you just did in the way that you did. I mean you You got me emotional, as you can see with this. And also for this very important thing you said, if someone comes to your mind think to call him, give them a call, you never know what that phone call might do. And you know, the question that came to my mind, because you obviously had reached a really You said rock bottom really lock point? I mean, I don't know how you've got very close, I can imagine a few seconds probably away from jumping through the

Peter John Mather 25:35

30 seconds from dying to be. So

Agi Keramidas 25:38

it's it's terribly close. And there are two questions, I will ask them one at a time, because they are I think important. The first one is, how can someone let's say someone listening to now, because obviously if you reach that point in your 30 seconds before dying, or if you are I had heard of stories of someone who was about to pull the trigger on his head and the dog came in at that time. So you know, something similar, but if that happens, then of course, the you see things very differently in life, but how can someone not go there in the first place? Because I can imagine that there is a previous states that you can still turn things around without having to reach you know, 30 seconds from taking your own life. Yes,

Peter John Mather 26:33

100%. I mean, and this is, these are the things that I talk about now. And these are the clients that I coach right now about the you know, change is possible. That was the one thing that I always thought was never, you know, never possible, I always said, Oh, this is me, this is just the way I am, I'm this person. And you know, and that was just a persona that I give myself and a programmer to give myself you know, and that was my decision and my choice. And the one big thing that I would say is that the biggest change that I have made in my life right now is that I am very, very open about who I am, like, I am very open about if I have a problem, or if I have a situation in life, then I speak about it, you know, I have a mentor, I have a beautiful new wife to be by the way who I speak to him, we're very, thank you very much. We're very, super happy. But we have a great relationship about talking. And as a man, as a male with a mess masculine energy is we're told not to speak up, which is probably, you know, it is the worst thing that you can do. And, and for me, the way I changed was I just started speaking about it. Like, you know, when people said to me, Oh, do you want to drink? Or do you want to do this and say no, sorry, I'm an ex alcoholic. And I still say to that today, I'm an ex drug addict, you know, I've been clean for over three and a half years now. Thank you very much, you know, and it's all about the mindset of the way we talk to ourselves, the way we we speak to other people, and the way we open up. And the one big thing to any listener out there right now that's listening to this and employees take this, if you have any problems at all, anything at all, it doesn't really matter what it is, the quicker we get it out of our brains, the easier it is to deal with. Because we don't procrastinate over it. We don't bury it, we don't get on top of us. We don't let it get heavy. And you know, it's about understanding, then then things and that's the biggest tip, that biggest guidance I can give anybody is that. As soon as you're feeling unhappy, talk, we don't need to take drugs. We don't need antidepressants. We don't need anything like this. It's just just talk, like, go to some random person and talk. And I'll tell you one, just a quick one for you what I love to do what I absolutely love to do I really love to do this. I go to the supermarket and I say to someone, Hey, are you doing today? And they go? Well, I'm not having the best today as I go, Hey, you want to talk about it? Like, do you want to talk about it? Do you just want to talk about it? And they go well, no. And I go, Hey, come on, tell me what our budget has been. So then they tell me what has been on the problem. And then I from there, move them and shift them to what's been great about your day, you know, and thinking about what's been great about your day, how, how to look at the, you know, the ship situation and what's the good in the ship situation? And I know that was a long winded way of saying just talk but I wanted to give a little bit more context to to that and it's very easy for me to just say talk, right? But as a male, we have to understand that it's okay to like, you know, just go and talk and by the way you No, I'll offer this service straight out there. If anybody out there is listening to this, and they just want to drop me a message DM me, find me on Instagram, find me on Facebook, whatever you want. And you DM me saying you need a little bit of talk or help, I'll be on the phone and whatever, we'll talk for 2030 minutes, whatever, whatever you want long where you want it to be.

Agi Keramidas 30:18

And Peter, thank you, I appreciate both what you just said. And also the, you know, talk, speak up, don't keep it inside. And absolutely, I will ask a man myself, I know very well. The difficulty that comes many times with being vulnerable, and sharing something that troubles us, because we will have this kind of programming that way we can sort it out ourselves. And you know, it's it's not okay to show weakness and things like that, and you're just sharing it and it makes a huge difference. I can I can certainly relate and I have, I've had my dark periods. So it's not something that I am not, you know, familiar with and speaking in did. You know, you feel that's how I feel whether that means that free social for you like a weight has been lifted? Immediately I feel when I speak about something

Agi Keramidas 31:26

always lighter.

Peter John Mather 31:27

Ah, always.

Peter John Mather 31:29

Yeah. And you're so right. You know, we're programmed to be this whole kind of, we're, you know, our program for being our masculine energy is programmed to be fixers, we are fixers, as human beings as males, we are fixers, right? Yeah. But understandably, we also have a part of our body which have as feminine energy, which you when you tap into, and by the way, you're beautifully doing that as well. And I love tapping into my feminine energy, because women with the feminine energy are designed to talk, right, they're designed to talk about their issues and the problems. And the reason why there is, you know, don't quote me on this stuff. But I think it's something like 38% more males commit suicide in the UK, and maybe in the US, is because they don't know how to talk. You know. And that's one of the big things. And the other tip, if people don't want to talk to other human beings, by the way, I'll give you a one more little kind of thing. And then we'll move on to the next question. Is everybody on the everybody has one of these things? Yeah, we all have one of these. We all have one of these? Right? It's called a mobile phone. Yeah, a phone. Right. We live?

Agi Keramidas 32:46

Probably on us as well. Most people would probably have them on their body right now. Yes,

Peter John Mather 32:51

yes. Yes. And that is the best. And you know what, it's a beautiful tip, by the way. It's awful tool, in a way, but it's a beautiful tool, in a way. Yes. Yes, yes. Um, we I won't think on that, we have one beautiful thing on there that I really use now. And then when I get to a point where I can't ring anybody, or I really feel frustrated, and it's called a voice recorder, right, it's got a voice recorder. And this is a tip for everybody out there. This is guidance on it, get that recorder, push the button and say these words. Hi, Hi, Peter. And I do this a lot, by the way, and I'll share a little story with you, if you don't mind in a second. And say whatever is on your mind, get it off your mind. You know, I'm really annoyed at this, oh my god, that driver just cooked me up, you know, pull over and say it to yourself or oh my god, my business partner, I'm a work colleague has done this or my wife or whatever it is, whatever it is, that is getting on your shoulders or whatever worry you've got about finances or health or whatever, just say it into the voice recorder, run to the voice recorder, but also start with your name. Hey, Peter, I want you to know this. Right? And I'll tell you a little story quickly, I gave you don't mind about how I decided to marry my wife to be right. So she asked me to marry her. And I was driving up to the skydiving center on this conversation with myself. And do you remember Tim? Tim Schofield?

Agi Keramidas 34:26

Yes. From via team. I call him a Tim Yes. Is

Peter John Mather 34:30

it is an amazing human being soul. Really as an any as is one of my dear friends that I have the real pleasure to really get to know from fire team, the same as you. And I was driving up there before going on to a call with him. And I said these words to myself and this is another way of doing this whole talk and I said Hey, Peter, how you doing? Ted? Yeah, not too bad today, Peter. I'm amazing, actually. How are you gonna go? Yeah, well, we have a question to ask ourselves and they go we have pizza. What is that question? I go. Ashes asked you to Maria. And I say, ya know that Peter? Well, why have you not said yes yet Peter? And I said, Well, okay, Peter, this is the thing is I am on a question with myself about, you know, should I marry or should I not? And I say, okay, Peter, I have a question for you. And I said, Okay, what is the question? And I said, why would you not Maria? And I said, Oh, my God, Peter, that is an amazing question. Now, I get a lot of people out there may think this is absolutely bonkers of what I am saying to myself. But it is a way of talking and communicating to your soul. And it is a way of getting out of your head and getting into your heart. And it is a great tool that Mr. Tim Schofield taught me, by the way. And I wanted to share that with you just in case people don't feel like they can talk or talk to yourself. Not wrong, I

Agi Keramidas 36:04

think that's great. Thank you for sharing that. And even with, you know, having the image of someone speaking to themself a cough, it's something that I think it's easy, it's easy to do, it just needs a decision to do it. Peter, there was one other thing that I wanted to get your thoughts about. And that was, you know, I see you from how we have met, I perceive you as a very, you know, vibrant, energetic loving life person. And I think that the loud also comes, you know, with with that, what I want to understand is what changed, or what element of that of that love for life that you have right now, what happened that day on the cliff, that you didn't have that before and something shifted and

Peter John Mather 37:08

you

Agi Keramidas 37:10

you know, you love life, in the way that you do is there. What I'm trying to figure out is whether there was some kind of mindset shift or some knowing of why life truly is worth living, despite, you know, whatever is happening,

Peter John Mather 37:31

I think, I think I can answer that. And yes, there was a moment. And I think everybody in life, every human being out there, right is you know, Tony talks about the six human needs, right. And one of the human needs, every human being in the world wants his love and connection. Everybody wants love and connection, right? And, and at that moment, when the phone rang, and I pressed the green button. That was love and connection that showed me that people love me. But before that moment, I didn't feel loved. But the biggest moment is is I didn't love myself. And I didn't think life loved me. And I didn't love life at that moment. And before that moment, I didn't love life. And the whole kind of concept about the mindset change and the mindset shift was that it came to me and dawned on me, and it was like, holy shitballs like, wow, there is worth something living. And the whole reason I'm here is because I am loved and there is a purpose of me being here on this planet. And I don't know what that had that moment. I was like, I don't know what that purpose is. But I'm going to find that purpose.

Agi Keramidas 38:50

It's a big topic. Indeed. You know, Peter, I'm going to start wrapping this up. It's really a fascinating conversation. There are two quick questions I always ask my guests. The first one is What does personal development mean to you? Life? You were just talking about it? So it's interesting. Life

Peter John Mather 39:13

it means life. It literally means. Yeah, I mean, I haven't got anything more to say than the life like personal development. Like, you know, everything on this planet. If it's not growing, it's dying. So personal development is about what is inside of me, and how do I become the best human being that I possibly can be, so that I can be the best human being for you, and your listeners and my wife to be my business partners. I'm a mom and my dad and everybody that surrounds me person just walking past me. So personal development means life in a nutshell. But a broader way of saying is that it means that I must be the best human being that I can be for myself and everybody else around me.

Agi Keramidas 39:57

That's great. And one hypothetical question if you You could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's the one piece of advice you would give him?

Peter John Mather 40:08

That is a very difficult one. That is a very difficult one. And what would I say to my 18 year old self? And by the way, that's a real critical age, you set that out as well, because that is when I actually started drinking and taking drugs, actually. Why would I say? Think about the people that you hang around with, because your environment creates everything. And proximity is power. That would be the one big thing I would say. Because as much as it was me that created that it was a very much an environmental thing as well. And, and I would probably follow up by saying, it's okay to cry. It's okay to talk. And it's okay. To not be okay.

Agi Keramidas 40:57

Thank you.

Peter John Mather 40:58

You're welcome. Peter,

Agi Keramidas 41:01

where will you direct people listening that want to connect with you.

Peter John Mather 41:08

So right now, I'm getting a website built, which is Peter, John mother.co.uk and.com. And then we have Instagram, which is Peter, John, mother, 1984. And then you have Peters, your mother on Facebook, and you can get it moved further, if you would like. And, yeah, it's been a pleasure speaking to you. Thank you so much for your time. And I've really enjoyed being on this podcast. Thank you very much. And I want to say one thing, I am so proud of you for hitting over 400 podcasts in the years that you have been doing. And thank you very much. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for saying what you said at the debrief fire team, that you are a podcast specialist. And if you need any help, or you want to be on podcasts, or you want to create your own podcast, please get in contact because if you want to send them words, I wouldn't be sat here. So I want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much.

Agi Keramidas 42:08

You're very welcome. It is you know, my path in life and my mission and it is expressed through the podcast. Peter, I want to thank you also from from my heart for this conversation. I really enjoyed it. And I think there was a very important message or messages that came through. Wishing you all the best with your personal life and your professional life, your career your business. I will give it to you for some actionable preferably parting wisdom Peters.

Peter John Mather 42:47

Wow, that's that, again is a difficult one. You like Chuck in these difficult questions that people my parents absolutely are gonna handle.

Agi Keramidas 42:59

Let's say someone I will ask it in a different way. Maybe that will make it more clear for you. Let's say someone now who has listened to the full conversation between you and I. What's the last thing you would say to him? Let's assume it is a guy

Peter John Mather 43:17

okay, we will do that this will this is broaden. But everybody in this life has a purpose. We may not know what it is right now. But the purpose will become apparent when it when it shows its face. And to always understand that even when you feel like you're not on the right path, that you are actually on the right path. And to be guided by the way you feel. And your heart is the most important to keep on pushing, keep on driving, keep on being motivated. And growing is so key to life. The beautiful gift that we have been given every morning just to wake up is so special to all of us and just respect that gift that we have been given.

Agi Keramidas 44:14

And before I end today's episode, if you enjoy this podcast, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them? I'd really appreciate it it helps the show grow and also add value to people you care about. Thank you. And until next time, stand out don't fit in!