#415 Snippets of wisdom: How to see failure as learning.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

___

Please note that while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present. No part of this transcription can be referenced or reproduced without permission.

Agi Keramidas 0:03

You are listening to personal development mastery podcast. And this is another snippet of wisdom, where I select my favorite, most insightful moments from previous episodes. Today's snippet is from my conversation with Allyson Chavez, a prosperity and success coach. It is about failures. How can we see failure as learning and not as something that hurts our self worth? How do we break free from that usual emotional response we have to failure. I hope you find this snippet insightful. And if you do, the quick, simple favor I will ask of you is to click the subscribe button to follow the podcast. Thank you.

Allyson Chavez 0:58

I was like the queen of being afraid to fail. So just so you know, I've been on both sides of this equation. So I can speak from personal experience, it really is just making that conscious decision that this people will say failure is nothing more than feedback. And that's true as well. But that didn't resonate with me so much as just failure just shows you where the gaps are, you don't know where the gaps are until you go through it. And so I knew that I would have wisdom from experience after having gone through whatever it is, that didn't work. And I just became obsessed with finding the gaps and closing the gaps. Like I decided that didn't mean anything about me. It just meant that my skills needed to be honed more and I got really, really excited about building up those skills, honing those skills, building up those muscles. And and it's just that reminder at first like no, this doesn't have anything to do about you and your words. So stop making it about you and your work because has nothing to do with that. You know, if you think about riding a bike, do we we decide that we're not worth it, because we fall off the bike 14 times before we learn how to ride it, no, we just don't have our balance yet. We just got to we got to get that muscle memory, we got to we got to build those synapses in our brain, we got to make those neural connections. And that's what you're doing. Oh, look, I'm laying down a new neural pathway in my brain. Holy cow. This is really exciting. And I didn't see that one coming. And I didn't see that one coming. But I did now. Okay, so I know I'm not going to, you'll never be at square one. Like if you go through something and it doesn't work. People are like, well, now I'm back to the beginning. No, you're not. Because now you have knowledge, born of experience, which is more than knowledge is wisdom is wisdom born of experience. And so you can know which mistakes not to make. You can know going this direction rather than that direction for next time. And all it does is bless you. So we think I think another decision that I made is only good can come of this. Everything always works out for me, I decided that and I've decided that no matter what happens if I'm faced with a business challenge, a personal challenge relationship challenge, a health challenge, whatever it is, only good can come of it. So again, if I'm going to take a risk, in business, only good can come of it. And most of time we'll we'll take those risks, because we think the risk is going to get us someplace else, right. But most people are super risk averse, because they don't believe it's actually going to work. And so then we just stay in our little box. But we just have to decide like this, this is in my heart for a reason. Whatever it is, and you can you can tie this to anything, whether it's a weight goal, or a fitness goal that you have, or a relationship goal or increasing the bottom line in your bank account or your business. It works in every area of your life. And that's what's so beautiful about personal development and about this mindset work that we do is it affects every area of our life in such beautiful ways. But if you'll decide across the board that everything's always working out for you, and only good can come of this and it allows you that's what helps you with the trust. Like rocky when I first started after like the whole fall apart, I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust myself to make decisions. I didn't trust myself to make investments. I've made some really poor investments for my business. But you know who I did trust, I did trust people who had been in my shoes and gotten through it. I did trust my higher power. And I trusted that if I would keep my mind comb long enough to receive that direction. I'll take that direction. I'll take that inspired instruction and I'll move forward and I'll see what happens. Because Because here's one thing Yeah, we we we made an awful lot of money in a short amount of time. But there was a lot of discomfort that happened with that, you know, God just wasn't like go take out a loan. That wasn't possible. We're in a bankruptcy people don't give you money. They don't give you credit when you're in a bankruptcy. But God was like you need to skill up and your sales you need your confidence back and be able to sell for your company. And that was scary to me I call it but clenching be like those when you get that instruction. You're like oh my goodness, that's feels exciting, but also very scary, that's inspired, go for it. Go for it and and then as I trusted more that God would bring the people to me that were going to help me to get to where I wanted to go instead of hurt me along the way, those people started showing up until I started trusting more in myself and in my intuition, and let it be an experiment. I have taken myself really, really seriously. I take it my business really, really seriously. And I was like, I don't know, let's see how close we get to this outrageous goal. I don't know, I've never done before. Let's say let's experiment instead of this. Like I was playing sudden death, I was playing a sudden death match with my company all the time. If this strategy doesn't work, we'll be destroyed. Like I was using super dramatic language like that. What is this? Like? Let's just experiment and see, I don't know, all I know is we're going to be okay at the end of it. It's alright, let's try it. And that will help ease you into it as well. It'll it'll help ease some of that anxiety, that uncertainty because that's what that's what's triggering the amygdala in our brain. And the amygdala is that like lizard part of our brain that makes you stop because it doesn't like uncertainty and it doesn't like risk. So it like floods you with anxiety and like, oh, no, don't don't go through this. Because you might, you know, you might get hurt or get killed through it. But you're not, you're not going to get hurt or kill through a weight loss plan. Or through let's try this new business investment. Like you're not It feels psychologically like you will but you really vote. You know, we want our amygdala flooding us with fear when we're peering over a bridge and wondering, shall I step off this bridge, we want that flooding us with fear, but not when we're looking for something that's going to lend to our growth and our expansion. And the amygdala will do that all the time. It doesn't like uncertainty and it doesn't like risk. And so when when we realize, oh, this is just me feeling uncertain, but I can have certainty through this. If I decide that everything always works out for me and only good can come of this. Then I opened myself up to all the things that I want to learn all the miracles that God has in store for me and it's so much more fun along the way.

Agi Keramidas 7:09

Thank you for listening. You will find the full conversation with Allyson Chavez in Episode 276. The link is in the episode description. Until next time, stand out don't fit in!