#417 Snippets of wisdom: The link between self worth and net worth.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Agi Keramidas:0:03

You're listening to personal development mastery podcast. And this is another snippet of wisdom, where I select my favorite most insightful moments from previous episodes. Today's snippet is from my conversation with Alaina Schwartz, who is an elite performance coach. I asked her, What would you say to someone whose low net worth is affecting their self worth? In other words, their inadequate financial situation is reducing how good they feel about themselves. I hope you find the answer insightful. And if you do, the quick favor I will ask of you is to click the subscribe button. Let's dive into this snippet.

Alaina Schwartz:0:52

It's a really interesting thing, because your self worth absolutely has everything to do with your net worth. But your net worth has nothing to do with your self worth. And so let me let me explain what that means. So when we were growing up, I was thinking about this yesterday, as a matter of fact, I had dinner with some friends and they have twin two year olds, two twin year old boys who absolutely I love and adore. And when they do something, they're good boys like to be really helpful. And when they do something, the parents always say, good boy, oh, job well done. And so there therein lies the Genesis, I mean, other than the fact that it's so societal. So we're dealing with this on a societal level. So we're getting it all from society. Like we we've been rewarded for doing good stuff, right? We get love and approval from our parents when we act as good boys and girls. And so because of that, we've grown up with this idea of conforming who we really are, this is where i, where i, our identity construct starts to come in, we start conforming with who we really are, to get the love and approval, because the way we are doesn't seem to get the love and approval, right, it seems to actually get disapproval a lot of times, so So because of that, we start confirming who we are. And we start realizing, Oh, Mom and Dad, give me more love when I accomplish. Mom and Dad, give me more love when I do really well, Mom, if I do this thing, well, then Mom and I get love and approval. And so that is becomes and it happens in schools too. Now, um, I my experience is only of schools in the United States. But I know it happens across the board, where teachers want you to act a certain way you can't act in like they you know, you misbehave, you know, there's all kinds of consequences for acting like yourself, right and not sitting there and conforming and being a good students. So as a result of that, from everywhere around, and if you're in religious institutions, it's the same thing. Right. So now we're getting it from all different angles, about how we have to act to be good people, what it means to be a good person. And if you're not a good person, then it means you're not going to get love and approval. Now, on a tribal level, when you don't get love and approval when you're ousted by the tribe, it means certain death. So there's still this ancestral part of our brain that for us, seeks the love and approval, because it means we get to be part of the tribe, then we're not ousted from the tribe. So as we become adults, and we start pursuing careers, then we go after the accomplishments too, because our whole lives have been spent on getting love and approval from outside of ourselves. Rather than cultivating the love and approval from inside of ourselves. We've been getting love and approval from outside of ourselves from external. So then money becomes the next external thing that we really focus on. And we start looking for money, like success in society means you've arrived, you're somebody, right? Everybody wants to be a somebody. So it means if you have money, you're somebody. And they don't realize that the ego is just constantly looking for validation from outside of ourselves. And so I mean, it's why Auggie, I can tell you that I have worked with millionaires like a guy who was worth $100 million and still feeling like it wasn't enough money. Right? It's a free that he was going to lose it. And so we think, Okay, well, when I have enough money, when I make my first million dollars in my business, when I make this amount of my business, then I will finally feel XYZ, whatever that is secure, safe, free. No. None of those things keep us feeling worthy. It's pursuing it from inside of ourselves from the truth of who we are. Because because you are here right now, because you were born, you are inherently worthy. You don't actually have to do anything for it. But that's not how we were taught. That's not how we were brought up. So money becomes the next thing that we pursue to make ourselves feel worthy. Now here's the interesting thing. So at the beginning of this, I said your self worth has everything to do with your net worth because you can make a lot of money without having a lot of love for you. self self love, you can make a lot of money with that a lot of people who make a lot of money don't have a lot of self love. They may have self belief in a particular area, but they don't necessarily have self love, which is why they keep chasing more, keep chasing more, keep chasing more, right? So, in that sense, right, what happens is when we start understanding that self love is synonymous with our life purpose is Sonam, synonymous with 100% responsibility for our lives and 100% responsibility means I am the creator of my life, everything I've created in my life, whether I like it or it sucks, everything I've created, I put there, I put there and I am such a powerful badass being, I have the power to change it and put there what I want instead, what I desire and what feels good. That's 100% responsibility means not being in victim mode, but it's also synonymous with money. So when you attract money from a place of self love, it doesn't come at the sacrifice of anything it comes because you know, you're worthy. And so abundance can absolutely flow into you effortlessly, rather than having to work your butt off to create it and be in constant hustle mode, which is what most people are doing. You know, you hear about the gurus. And you know the you know, some of the people who've made a lot of money like even Elon Musk, they talk about the necessity, you know, Kevin from Shark Tank or or Gary Vee, they talk about the necessity if you're not if you're not successful, you're not working hard enough. No, that's BS. If you're not successful, it's because you're not feeling like you're worthy and deserving of the success you want. And when you shift that and Abundance flows into you effortlessly.

Agi Keramidas:6:47

Thank you for listening, you will find the full conversation in Episode 280. The link is in the episode description. If you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here, the quick simple favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button. Until next time, stand out don't fit in!