#434 The real "key" to success and how 15 minutes in the morning can transform your life, with Ben Albert.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Ben Albert 0:00
But when I was looking in the mirror and affirming these statements, I kind of felt like I was a liar, like I was lying to myself. Because if I was all these things that I was affirming, why am I not living a life that proves I'm all these things that I'm affirming?

Agi Keramidas 0:20
You are listening to personal development mastery, the podcast that empowers you with the simple and consistent actions to take that will help you create a life of purpose and fulfillment. I'm your host, Agi Keramidas, and this is episode 434. in today's episode, we talk about the real key to success. By listening to today's conversation, you will discover how to adopt a transformative morning routine. You will find out about creation driven networking, which is combined in content creation with relationship building, and of course, we discuss the real key to success, or is there one before we dive in, if you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing, the quick favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button to help us make The podcast better for you. Now, let's get started today.

Agi Keramidas 1:27
It is my real pleasure to speak with Ben Albert. Ben, you are a dynamic entrepreneur and marketing expert and the mastermind behind the real business connections network where you host five successful podcasts you are passionate about empowering people, particularly underdogs, to find the essence of who they are and empower them and their companies to make their mark in the world. Ben, welcome to the show. I'm delighted to speak with you today, and very excited for this conversation.

Ben Albert 2:03
I'm excited too. I know you put a ton of love effort into an incredible podcast here. So humbled to be here. Let's have some fun, brilliant

Agi Keramidas 2:12
that's great. I like very much this breakfast that you gave, and I will really before I go to the point. And you know the main topic that I want to discuss with you in this conversation, and I will just hint it, and I want to ask something else before, but the main topic I want to speak with you about is what you call the real key to success. And the key is in quotation marks, because it is not a key. You say, it is more like a combination look. So that's I'm fascinated to find your way of looking at this before I go there, tell us about I know you had in your journey a big turning point, when you went from depressed and feeling unworthy, as you say, to becoming now a successful entrepreneur. So can you take us to that transition? What was going on and what happened? Yeah,

Ben Albert 3:13
so I'm born and raised in Rochester, New York, and the day I realized I'd be on the 14th floor in the middle of the city, wearing a suit and tie, basically in a building that's gorgeous. It's in all the photos I was working on that 14th floor, and I'm like, this is pretty cool. I've made it like I'm a sales executive for a marketing firm. I had just started that role behind the scenes, we can get into it, but I was very misguided, like I was stressed. I was self prescribing a Xanax for anti anxiety every Monday to get through meetings. But on paper, I had made it, and I felt great, and I looked great, and then covid hit. We don't have to talk about what covid was. That was a trauma for everybody in one way or another. And I was last one in, first one out. I got let go from that role. And for quite some time, I had struggled with over drinking, partying, a little too much. I started marketing in the music industry, late nights bars, all nighters. And I was going down a really, really bad path at the start of covid. Now I'm going to skip a lot. We can go as nuanced as you want, but by ultimately leaning on brilliant people, skill stacking, doing the best I can with the resources I had, I was actually able to start a business, start a business podcast, and replace my income in a year. Now, my entire life prepared me for that. I don't say it to make it sound easy, but it was a really difficult, confusing. Complicated year, and now we're in the 2020 fours, and I don't know any different. They call it being an accidental entrepreneur. And I guess I'm blessed to be here.

Agi Keramidas 5:14
I like what you said, and I agree completely with that statement that you you your entire life prepared you for that, and as I said, I completely appreciate what that means. However, I would like to ask whether there was a specific or a more prominent, let's say, turning point that you know after that day, things took a completely different direction for you.

Ben Albert 5:46
I always wish there was one individual moment. Yeah, it was kind of a succession of the same moment, and it just took me a while to realize it. So the Miracle Morning, great book, if anyone hasn't read it, Hal, Elrod, but the short version, every morning. Silence, Affirmations, Visualization exercise, reading, scribing, the acronym savers. Silence, affirmation, visualization exercise, reading, scribing, or writing. I had been doing the Miracle Morning for over five years, and it was not uncommon that I'd look in the mirror and I'd say my affirmations, you're an open channel for creative ideas. You're good enough now, and you're only getting better. I would say my affirmations through these tired, bloodshot eyes. My left eye started to twitch once in a while from the caffeine and the stress. And I can affirm and visualize all I want, but the actions I was doing good things, but the actions of drinking, stress, up all night, feeling misaligned, was really taking a toll on me. So I was doing a lot of the good stuff. I was doing a lot of what you teach on this podcast. I was doing stuff that works. This is not anti Miracle Morning, it works. But when I was looking in the mirror and affirming these statements, I kind of felt like I was a liar, like I was lying to myself, because if I was all these things that I was affirming, why am I not living a life that proves I'm all these things that I'm affirming? So I wish it was one moment, but it was a series of mornings with bloodshot eyes and a misaligned and I think the biggest reason people feel like an imposter is because they know deep down that their actions are not in alignment with their words or who they want to become. So it was a slow process of Who do I want to become? And let's just be it until I become it. Let's just change today. Let's do the actions required to be that person. And what's hilarious is you realize, in the long run, you always were that person. You just had to subtract all the stuff that was ruining you to kind of come to light and kick some butt. Does that make sense?

Agi Keramidas 8:19
Yes, it does make sense. And in a way, what you were describing about, you know, the actions being in align, in alignment with the values or your vision. It reminded me of how I see personal development. I mean, it is exactly what you've been describing doing it and carrying on, you were saying, and that's exactly I also wanted to reiterate it was you were saying when you were doing the affirmations, you were looking at yourself in the mirror, and I had that feeling that I am a liar. So I think in a way, you answered. I was about to ask you, how did you get over that? But I think your answer was doing more of the right actions, or the aligned actions, and then repeating it.

Ben Albert 9:22
I can give you a super practical thing that anybody, because everybody has something that they can subtract and everybody has something that they can add in. The problem with addition, when you're a busy person, when you're like, trying to do it all is it's like, Where does the 15 minutes come from? Where does the hour come from? My schedule is stacked, and there's been a lot of bucks talking about the compound effect of, like, just a 1% change a day. So I did the math, and I feel like I'm gonna butcher it, because it's not right in front of me. But. 1% of your day is approximately 14 minutes, 14 and 40 so it's like 14 minutes and 30 seconds, give or take. So I just round up to 15 minutes. So you ask the question, what? Where would your life be in a year if you made a 1% positive change? That's only 15 minutes per day. But then you run into the problem, where to do these 15 minutes come from? So a simplified approach I do to make this very easy. To find the 15 is, I take two words, I take a line, I write it down. You can write a line down a note page. On the left side, you write better. On the other side, you write bitter, better and bitter, you take five minutes to brainstorm. What are some things that I feel like I need to be doing to be better that I'm not doing right now? I write down better, then I write down bitter. What are things? It could be Netflix binging. It could be porn. It could be scrolling on your phone. It could be sleeping in when you could wake up like it could be many, many things. All the things that I feel like are making me a little bit better, and we don't have to do it all at once. You just circle one better, one bitter. You get rid of the bitter for 15 minutes, you sub you add in the better. You have not added any time to your day. But compound by skipping that 15 minutes of Netflix to do 15 minutes of reading, or even better, 15 minutes just to implement what you're learning in the book that you're reading, you've had the exact same day, but you got 1% better every single day. And I actually say it's 2% because you've subtracted 1% of negative you added 1% of better, so now you got 2% better every single day, compounded for a lifetime. I mean, our imagination can only solve that problem of where we can go.

Agi Keramidas 12:04
I love that. It's very practical. Thank you for sharing. And I really also like that, you know, when you say that I am going to do this for 15 minutes, it makes it so sound, so much easier and manageable, rather than, you know, doing it for hours or for a next period of time, it is really nice and practical way to do things. I'm actually going to do that myself when I journal in the morning. Well, so thank you.

Ben Albert 12:38
15 minutes is preferably you do an hour, but like, if you don't have 15 minutes, a whole new conversation, we can all find that 15 minutes if we'd like to, I know it's possible. Yes,

Agi Keramidas 12:54
remember that Zen saying that said you, if someone asked his teacher, how long should I meditate? And he said, You should meditate for 20 minutes. Unless you don't have time, then you should meditate for two hours. So let's talk about Ben. I'm going to switch gears, and I wanted to talk to you about what you talk about the real key to success, and you mentioned that success is like a combination look and that each of us have their own unique one. So guide us through this concept. How do you mean it? Yeah,

Ben Albert 13:38
well, it's brilliant. I even made a keychain. I'll jingle it for the people listening to audio here, but it says there is no key on my keychain. There is no key. Now, obviously it's satirical, because it's a keychain, but you just said it, and I want to repeat it just for for the repetition of it all, there's not a key to success. It's a combination lock, similar to a padlock at the gym. We're all going to have our unique combination. Why do you think they like to take your fingerprint when you get in trouble with the law? Because you have a unique fingerprint. You have a unique DNA code. I actually think it's really toxic and scary when anyone other people say, I have the answer. You have x, y and z problem. You're you're broken, you're terrible, like, I hate this, like fear mongering. You're broken. However I can fix you, and I have the key to your X, Y and Z. Playbooks, work, systems work. The Miracle Morning is a great example. Silence, affirmation, visualization, exercise, reading, scribing. That is a combination, but at the end of the day, we need to Audible. What makes us unique? What unique skill sets do we have? What is our differentiator? You talk about it all the time, like, how can we not be vanilla? How can we stand out? What is the unique DNA code of who we are, what our business is, what our personal development journey looks like? And if we can discover it's funny, because we live with ourselves, and we struggle understanding ourselves half the time. And if we can do the self work to understand ourselves, understand our combination, we'll find ourselves in friend groups that are a better fit for what we're looking to accomplish. We'll find ourselves in better environments, and there is not a good or bad friend group, there's not a good or bad environment, there's not a good or bad career. The question is, is it your combination? So once you can discover that, and another thing that I stole from a great friend of mine, Brian Bogart, he says, There is no end destination. It's only constant evolution of self. So even when I have a combination code that feels perfect, having the curiosity to understand that there might be another piece that I haven't unlocked yet is a beautiful thing, but the closer we can get to understanding our own combination lock, the better we'll be in all areas of life. And I'd love to hear someone argue with me. I really think the key to success is the acknowledgement that there isn't one.

Agi Keramidas 16:35
If you enjoy this episode, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them. I'd really appreciate it. It helps the show grow, and you will also be adding value to people you care about. Thank you. And now let's get back to the x.

Ben Albert 16:52
The key to success is the acknowledgement that there isn't one.

Agi Keramidas 16:58
It's a great point. And let me ask you, before there was something else that I wanted to add, but I wanted to ask how important it is in this whole combination. In this particular one, is the definition of success on an individual level. Is that part of the combination? You think,

Ben Albert 17:20
yeah, yeah. Defining what success means to you is a valuable exercise. I don't even know if I have a perfect answer in my own life, though, it goes back to like the better or bitter exercise. A lot of things are practical, but some things are a little more intuitive, like, am I excited for what's on my to do list? Do I enjoy my environment? Am I happy with my relationships? Are they making me better? They making me better? If we feel bitter, that's okay. That's clarity. But defining what success means is complicated for me, it's really just like having the most fun, having the greatest impact in the least amount of energy spend. That's the key greatest impact and least amount of energy spend. I want to make good money doing it, but I podcast and I speak way more than what's required of me. It might not be my number one revenue driver, but I love the heck out of it. So it's quite complicated, but if we have a clear idea of where our North Star might be, and we do daily checks. Just how, in the military, they don't just go out for a mission and wing it. They practice, practice, practice. They check, they check, they check, they figure out what's working, what's not working. Then it becomes a little more clear.

Agi Keramidas 18:57
Ben, thank you for this multifaceted answer. There was a you said, and you had the there is no key, which reminded me of the there is no spoon from the matrix. That famous verse, understanding you said about understanding ourselves. And I think that is, and one of the, perhaps the principle to evolve. And I liked also you mentioned the that there is no end destination. It's only, I think you call it constant evolution of the self. So that sounded to me, and actually, I will digress and ask you, since I brought it up, the way that I heard that phrase being said, it sounded like a very spiritual phrase. So what are your thoughts on that? Do you think it has something to do with it? Or. Is it only me?

Ben Albert 20:02
Yeah, it's, it's a cliche phrase. But what is it where spiritual beings having a human experience? Um, yeah, I don't think it matters. What religion you align with. All of them have spiritualism in the essence, yeah, prayer, community, morals. I'm thinking out loud currently because I'm not a super spiritual person, but simultaneously, I feel like I'm a very spiritual person because I'm constantly learning. And one thing that said in the Bible is God said to ask, and that's all I do. I ask questions. I sometimes poke holes, and I'm just looking to figure this all out, um, and we'll see where it goes. We'll see what happens. I don't know if anyone again, this is controversial. I don't know if anyone has the exact answer. I really don't think so.

Agi Keramidas 21:15
It doesn't really matter about the exact answer this thing. I don't think anyone can even ever say that. Ben, let's move direction again. And we, so far, we haven't discussed at all about podcasting. And I think we're 20 minutes into this conversation. And I would like to, you know, dedicate the remaining time into podcasting. So there is one thing that in particular that wanted to ask, and that is what you're doing right now, actually being a guest in someone's podcast mine, which I know that you do a lot, and also you have five podcasts yourself. So you are a very busy behind the microphone, like I'm seeing you now. Can only imagine that you spend many hours doing that. So tell me about your why, why you are involved in this in the first place, so I can understand your motivation. And then tell me about the actual podcasting or being a guest, and how you approach this.

Ben Albert 22:36
At the core, we've talked about it with gurus and everyone having the perfect solution, I found that I've purchased products and done things and spent years of my life running in the wrong direction, and I felt like something doesn't feel right, and at the core, I believe nothing's more valuable than quality education, having proper answers, learning the right mindset. So my goal, at the core, is just to help get the knowledge, the wisdom, the ideas, from the people who have it to the people who need it, and the beauty still to this day, especially on day one, but still, to this day, I am often in the need it category. So wisdom from people who have it to people who need it. So why do I podcast? Because I get to learn things wisdom that I need, and I get to share that with others, and it's just an invitation to listen. Every episode you do is going to be different. Every episode I do is going to be a little different, and the listener can cherry pick who they trust. But my goal is just to be a bridge to connect people to the right ideas, the right people, the right thoughts, the right books, and I'm constantly evolving, as we said, so it's more than anything. Ben documenting his journey, I feel good today. I actually feel very confident and convicted. That's not always the case, and on day one, that was completely not the case. So it's documenting my journey from confused, lost soul that doesn't even know stage zero yet to maybe I'm on stage 789, or 10. Who knows how many more Hills they are to climb. So why do I podcast? It's really for that learning experience and to be able to share that wisdom with other people as I take this journey.

Agi Keramidas 24:49
Sounds so much like what Aya podcast. Also, I think that is good reason, of course, learning and sharing that. Or knowledge that wisdom and inspiring positive change. And I think that podcasting is a very powerful medium to do that. So I wanted to hear your thoughts quickly on that, also about podcasting as a medium and its power to you know, convey this ideas or this change.

Ben Albert 25:24
Okay, so if we could take this in so many directions, do we want to talk personal growth? We do we want to talk business growth? Do we want to talk about marketing networking? It's doing all these things. So what category should we tackle?

Agi Keramidas 25:42
Which one do you feel called to, uh, spire to answer or to take it to?

Ben Albert 25:50
We'll talk business, um, for the entrepreneurs and the Networkers out there. But I like to try to take big ideas and make it really, really, really distilled and simple. And James Altucher, who's been on my show, has a concept plus, minus and equals. And I might be butchering it, but I've made it my own. A plus is a mentor. They're a coach, they're a guy, they're someone you're learning from. They're the YouTuber, the podcaster, the book you're reading. A minus is a mentee. It's an audience member. It's someone that you're maybe paying you. They're paying you money to be their coach or to fulfill services and products for them. They're your audience. They're the ones that you get to be the plus. And then an equal is peer to peer. They're people that do the same thing as you. They're people that do something similar. For example, in the health industry, you've got a personal trainer, you've got a dietitian, you've got a meditation Coach, you've got a yoga teacher. These are your peers. So we've got pluses, our mentors, minuses, our mentees, equals, our peers. Podcasting as a two way street. Solo episodes are great for thought leadership, personal branding. We could talk solo episodes. But more than anything, especially if you're starting from zero, I encourage people to have conversations with pluses, minuses and equals. The mentors are going to teach you things that you never knew. The mentees could be your audience. They could be clients in your business. You could bring people on that in theory, like I'll be transparent when I first started a business podcast from Rochester, New York, my hometown in 2020 and I brought on Rochester business owners. So Rochester New York Business Owner podcast, I was an online marketer. Every one of my guests in theory were a plus minus and an equal. They could become a client. They were a peer as a business owner and I had just started a business six days ago, so they were all mentors. And the thing about your your peers is they don't always do business with you, but they know someone else who might. So if we understand who we want to learn from, who we want to teach and who we want to connect with, podcast is not the only way, but it's a fantastic way to actually systematize that networking. I know this is a lot of terms, but I'll just end here. I call it creation driven networking, where you create something and network simultaneously. Podcast co host an event. Maybe you, if you're a blogger, you find thought leaders to contribute quotes. What way can you create with these people and network simultaneously? And then you're doing business? But it doesn't feel like you're doing business and podcasting, in my experience, is not the easiest way, because there's a lot of it goes on behind the scenes, but it's the most effective way to do what we're describing in this conversation here today.

Agi Keramidas 29:16
That's great. And in particular, there was something that you said about bringing mentees onto the podcast, rather than usually, I was thinking of me as a co host, that it has been in the vast majority of time, anyway, the either mentors or peers. So this gave me a very interesting perspective on some surprising guests that I could bring that I had not thought of it before. So that's a great suggestion that you created an idea in me. Thank you. Two very

Ben Albert 29:58
simple ideas. Is you can bring on current clients to elevate them, get them more notoriety, and it's a high probability they'll talk positively about you on the podcast. You can bring on a client. People create entire podcasts that I don't necessarily recommend this if it's too aggressive in salesy, but they create an entire podcast that's a lead funnel. So they only work with CTOs. They have a SaaS product. So they start CTO or CTO Made Simple, they start a podcast, they bring on CTOs, and then in the post conversation, they bring up their SaaS product. So they don't actually care if they have one listeners or 1 million listener The goal is to pause myself, because this is not how I see it. The goal I was going to say, the goal is to sell the person you're talking to, but truly the way to do it is just to build a relationship with that person, because they might know other people. But again, people create podcasts just to bring in leads. So if you want to be very strategic, that is an option for you. I wish I was more strategic. I bring on like cult whistleblowers, I bring on mindset coaches, I bring on anti MLM people. I bring on all sorts of people just to hear different posing views. But yeah, you can be very strategic and turn it into a lead funnel if you need to.

Agi Keramidas 31:36
Great. That's fantastic. Thank you, man. And

Ben Albert 31:38
am I over talking? You got me like, hyped up today.

Agi Keramidas 31:44
I'm very happy that I have that means that it is, I certainly believe it's a very vibrant and powerful conversation. And you know, the my intention always with the podcast is to inspire the listening to take some kind of action as a result of the conversation, and already you have given very many very practical exercises or routines or what you're saying. So this is brilliant and very useful. So I'm very happy that I hyped you up and I popped you up to give that before I start wrapping things up for today. Ben, there are two questions that I always ask my guests, and the first one is, what does personal development mean to you?

Ben Albert 32:41
I love that question, because personal is in the word personal development. For me, it's treating every single day like it's my last, being grateful, being consistent, being curious, learning and going back to that Brian Boger quote, There is no end destination only constantly. Have a constant evolution of self. It's evolving and growing each and every day. And it's personal. It goes back to there's no key to success. It's a combination lock. It's finding my combination so I can grow what is unique to me personally.

Agi Keramidas 33:26
That's a great way to describe it. And Ben a hypothetical question as well. If you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give him?

Ben Albert 33:40
I love to hear other people's answers. I've read too much sci fi novels that I don't necessarily want to go back in the future and maybe give advice that completely changes the course of history. I don't know if that's possible. I also don't know if I would take my own advice, but one thing I do tell myself all the time, and I would tell any young person, especially someone who's struggling, you're enough. You're good enough. Now you're only getting better. You're enough. There's a lot of shame and blame and guilt in this world. We're never going to be better. We're never going to change the past. We were enough now, is what I would tell myself. So what I tell myself now, I don't think 18 year old Ben would give two craps, but that's besides, that's

Agi Keramidas 34:38
that's another point altogether. Ben, where will you direct the audience? Our mastery seekers who have enjoyed this conversation and want to take the next step with you.

Ben Albert 34:56
The easiest place to direct them is right. In front of them, if they haven't hit five stars, if it's possible, subscribe, comment, review, bonus points to send us a DM. This podcast wouldn't happen without an incredible host show. So some love here. You can find my podcast real business connections anywhere you found this, or just Google it. But again, I'm the guest here, so if this is valuable, hit, subscribe five stars the whole shabam, just Google real business connections or type it into the search bar. And if I'm a good marketer, you will find me. So that's my ask for you today.

Agi Keramidas 35:45
That's brilliant. Thank you. And Ben, I want to thank you very much for this fascinating conversation and very enjoyable and very again, I will say, with practical, actionable things that one can take, I always show the very best with both your personal and professional life and success. I will leave it to you with your last part. In words,

Ben Albert 36:18
let's go back to where we started. There's no key to success. It's a combination lock. So think today, maybe don't take action this second, but take a moment to breathe and think, Hmm, what are my skills? Who are the people that I love, who are my plus, minus and equals? Who do I want to learn from? Who do I want to surround myself with? Who can I help? Just linger on some of the concepts today, because if you can find your combination, you personally can develop and have a better life.

Agi Keramidas 36:50
And before I end today's episode, if you enjoy this podcast, can you think of one person that would find it useful and share it with them. I'd really appreciate it. It helps the show grow, and you also add value to people you care about. Thank you. And until next time, stand out don't fit in.