#453 Snippets of wisdom: How to deconstruct your narratives of unworthiness.

Agi Keramidas 0:02
Welcome to Personal Development mastery podcast, and this is another snippet of wisdom where I select my favorite insightful moments from previous episodes. Today's snippet is from a conversation with Colin Kingsmill, who went from Swiss banker to donating everything to becoming a coach. It is about how to deconstruct our narratives of unworthiness, that belief "not good enough". Let's dive right in.

Colin Kingsmill 0:41
in the book that I'm writing, I have seven or eight steps, right about about becoming fearless, right? And becoming fearless is really shedding those stories and shedding those narratives, but it's got to be a proactive process. Okay? Now, whether it's my eight steps or whether it's somebody else's it, I don't think it matters, but it's got to be a proactive process of almost self protection, right? So the first thing that I say is turn off the news, right? Turn off and turn off all toxicity that's coming into your life, right? That could be food, that could be family, that could be relationships, that could be a job, that could be any number of things that are adding toxicity to your thought process, right? And the one the reason I say turn off the news as the kind of the top line is that's a product, right? And it's a product to keep you engaged and to sell advertising, right? But that's not informing you and that's not helping you. So my first step is turn off the news, right? The second step to me is start to listen to yourself. And I think you kind of hinted on this before, that our body is always sending us messages. Right now, the mind may be saying something else, like, oh, push through this. And you know, entrepreneurs or founders pushing themselves and pushing themselves and pushing themselves without self care, right? So you've got to listen to yourself. You've got to listen to your body. You've got to listen to the messages that it's sending you. My next step, if you want, is design a picture of the life that you want, the life that you really want, right? I think so often we're conned to believe that we are not the designers, we're not the architects of our life, right? We're not responsible for our thoughts. We're not responsible for the stories or the ideas that come into our heads. Well, we are right. So own it, but, but, but, design what you want, right? And then, then, once you've designed the and I've got my, my vision boards over here, I've got like, like, you just you design it, right? So, design what you want, and then you break it down into a series of goals that you can actually achieve, right? Because it's so easy to have the motivational poster on the wall, right, right, and then you just look at it, or, I don't know you want a Ferrari, or you want to, I don't know whatever you want, right? You got that on the wall. That's not enough. You have to. You have to break it down into a strategy of, how do I get to that destination, right? I use, I use sailing a lot as a as a metaphor, right? Like, if you don't put the coordinates in to where you want your sailboat to go, then you're just bouncing along on the open sea and on the waves, right? So, design the life you want put the coordinates in your GPS right take the steps along the way to get there. Okay, so once you've got the destination, once you've plotted your course and you've plotted all the steps along the way, decide what are the daily rituals to keep you on track, to keep you accountable? Okay? Because so often it's so easy to wake up in the morning and turn on the news, turn on Twitter, turn on porn, whatever you're doing right as a quote, unquote coping mechanism or as a starter to your day. Change them right? What are the daily rituals that are going to help you stay on track? Whether it's meditation or yoga or mindfulness or whatever, it doesn't matter. But have those, have those and do them. Um, and stop self, self, self, self, self sabotaging. Basically, now, the then, the the last step, or the second to last step, is forget, forget about what others think. And that's why I say live in integrity, right? Um, you know so often we are, we are bound, bound up by what we think other people are going to think and do, but that's just restrictive. That's not That's not getting your creative energies going, that's not expressing who you really are. And if you don't express who you really are, that internalizes into dis ease, and that might be mental disease or other other other forms. And there's lots of research around this. I'm not being sort of crazy in woohoo. And then the last point for me to answer your question is, forget about, forget forget about everything you've learned. And what I mean by that is, don't forget about everything that would be a tough start to the day, but forget about what? Forget about the conditioning that is no longer serving you, right? And that goes back to your the storytelling, right? So the forget about, forget about everything you've learned is forget about, forget, I think, is forget about the conditioning that is no longer serving you today. And what, what are the beliefs that you are perpetuating or telling yourself or repeating to yourself again, old stories, right? It happens. We all, we all, we all tell ourselves stories all day long, right? How many? How many thoughts do we have? A day Agi,

Agi Keramidas 6:43
70,000 something like

Colin Kingsmill 6:45
that, yes, yeah, yeah, right. So if 69 of those, 69,000 of those are negative stories that aren't serving you, stop telling them, or stop listening. Tell me once,

Agi Keramidas 7:06
thank you for listening. You will find the full conversation with Colin Kingsmill in episode 334, the link is in the episode description.

Agi Keramidas 7:20
If you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here, the quick, simple favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button until next time. Stand out don't fit in .