#499 Healing the inner child and a prelude to milestone episode 500. (Personal development wisdom snippets)

Welcome to personal development mastery Podcast, episode 499 and I am very excited. I'm sure you can hear it in my voice that episode 500 is coming next week, after five years of having transformational conversations on the podcast, it is time to celebrate this huge milestone, the 500 episodes of personal growth, mindset shifts and wisdom, wisdom, life changing wisdom. So to mark the occasion, next episode 500 I will be revisiting five of the most powerful insights shared on the podcast so far over the 500 episodes. However, these are the most powerful insights that resonated most with you the listeners. So the first is a fresh, realistic perspective on gratitude. The second is the key to unlocking your genius through personal values. The third is how your perception limits or expands what's possible. Number four, the surprising secret to becoming a confident communicator. And number five, a powerful tool to energetically shift your reality. These aren't just highlights. They are actionable wisdom that can create real transformation if applied. So stay tuned for Episode 500 coming soon, next Monday, the 12th of May. And as for today, we have very special snippet of wisdom. I revisit the first conversation from the very beginning of the podcast, my interview with high end performance coach and Tony Robbins trainer, Alan klennas, the snippet is about self forgiveness and the path to inner healing, and as we approach the milestone of episode 500 this reflection serves as a reminder that true transformation starts from within us, and self forgiveness is one core element of this. So without further ado, let's dive into this snippet of wisdom

that day 1999 on that third day, when, after the Dickens, I released a lot of of toxic energy, you know, I released a lot of that. But then the process continues after that, you know? And so for 20 years now, it's been 20 years since I about 20 years since I came across the practice, hope on upon her, which is the four phrases, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. It's, it's a Hawaiian mantra. It comes from Hawaii. It's Hawaiian Huna, which is, you know, the Hawaiian culture is very, very spiritual culture. And they believe in energy, etc, and that everything is energetic, and everything's connected. And so that weekend was was a major catalyst for me. But then what I did was I continued to do that every day. I continued to, you know, I continued with the practice of gratitude. I continued with the practice of continuing to carry on forgiving myself, you know. And that's an active process that I tell everyone you correctly said that shame is the lowest emotion. And you know, Dr David Hawkins created something called the map of consciousness. On the map of consciousness, shame is the lowest vibrating emotion. In other words, for anyone who's watching or listening to this, what that actually means is that the frequency, or the the the emotional vibration of the of the emotion of shame is very, very low, very dense, and so trauma that creates shame. When it's unhealed, then it manifests in disease. And this is what we're seeing now with more and more people around the world, because of the fact that more and more people are, you know, we are. We continue to mask our shame, or continue to cover it up with with all kinds of things that offer very short term validation, short term gratification. You know, we are. We are constantly being manipulated as consumers to buy certain things, because if we buy certain things that will make us feel better. About ourselves, and that's what people are doing. They placing their emphasis on the wrong things in order to feel better about themselves, rather than looking within and saying, okay, cool, you know, what is it that's really making me unhappy, you know? And what's really triggering my anger or my frustration and my my sense of guilt? There's a lot of guilt that people carry around, guilt and shame, guilt because they feel they've done something wrong when they were much younger, and they're not even sure what it was, but it's kind of in the unconscious. So to answer that question, you know, to continue to release and continue to to allow yourself to process your trauma. This is something that you have to continue to do with yourself all the time. So if you take the average person who looks in the mirror, the average person who looks in the mirror without even knowing it, they have an unconscious charge in their in their nervous system, because they don't like what they see, because they've been told certain things about themselves when they were younger, or they've been programmed by society that to look a certain way, yeah, is the best way. And if you don't look like that, you know, then you don't really fit in, right? Do not accept it. You're not loved. And because we were all when we were young too, we learned something unconsciously, which is inaccurate, and we all form a false premise or false idea around love. So when we were young, we believe that love came from our parents, Love came from other people, and when our parents didn't love us. And there were moments, lots of moments, all children go through moments where they believe their parents don't love them because they either weren't picked up the right time, or they weren't fed at the right time, or their parents scolded them or spanked them or put them in the bedroom, or, you know, told them to sit on this naughty step and keep quiet. And so when a child is good, then it gets love and affection and it gets recognised. But when a child is not behaving in the right way, then parents don't recognise the child in a loving way. So what we learn unconsciously is, oh, if I'm good, I get love. If I'm not good, I don't get love. We carry that into adult years. And so what we all trying to do as adults is to be accepted and be and feel like we can, you know, we're gonna, we will make it, you know, and then we'll fit in. So all of that is affecting us. So in order to continue to release that, you need to really recognise that we are all little children inside, and we all need to remember that we are all little children that are crate we craving love and we didn't get perhaps we didn't get that love that we felt we deserved, or perhaps we got something that we felt we didn't deserve when we were young. So we need to remember that actually that healing, self healing and forgiveness, self forgiveness is a continuous practice. It's like a child that continually needs to be praised or loved. And that's not that's now that I just want to make, make something very clear. That's not about telling a child all the time, Hey, you're the best, you're amazing, you because that's also not very healthy, because then a child grows up thinking that everything is easy. It's really just about recognising, you know, just about being loving, you know, being kind, being kind to yourself. You can never be too kind to yourself, and people are not very kind to themselves. You know, people are very unkind to themselves generally, but you can never be too kind in terms of how you treat yourself in a loving way. So it's really just about recognising that there's a child inside of you that really needs to be healed and really needs to be reminded that actually you're okay, you're enough, you are loved, and you're not going to get that from anybody else, so you might as well give it to yourself. So what I've been doing for 20 years is I've been looking at my reflection all the time, and look and now I carry on my phone. I carry this I've got three or four photographs of myself at different ages, one, one photograph at about, you know, 18 months, one of one photograph at about two or three years of age, one photograph at five. And I look at those photos. I've been looking at those photos for many years and looking at them and practising the HO pono pono phrases, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. So I say, I say to that little Alan, I say, you know, Alan, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. When I say I'm sorry, what I mean? And I tell people, when you use ho pono pono phrases, these four phrases, when you say, I'm sorry, you actually saying to yourself, I'm sorry that I made decisions at a very young age that undermined my myself, you know. I'm sorry I made a decision about the fact that I wasn't enough. I'm sorry I made a decision about the fact that I was naughty or I wasn't good enough, I was unloved, or I was ugly, or I didn't fit in, or nobody liked me, you know, or I couldn't speak, or I couldn't sing, or whatever it is. Because we make decisions I get as children, we don't realise it. We make decisions like that, and it's usually around our parents, because our parents are the first people who teach us about relationship with each other and with ourselves. That's where we learn about relationship. And you either learn a healthy relationship, or you learn an unhealthy relationship, and the majority of human beings are learning an unhealthy relationship, because most adults have an unhealthy relationship with themselves because of what they learned as children. So we keep passing this down generation to generation. So consciousness really means recognising that you've never done anything wrong. You know, even as a. Child. You were just being a child and really just recognising that and just continually healing yourself in that particular way, and then being grateful. You know, gratitude and forgiveness are very powerful things. Being grateful that you had that experience was there are no mistakes. It's designed like way so, you know. And then we just, now, I know we're moving all over the place, but it just takes you into the next conversation. Is that people say, Well, what is laugh all about? You know, I was speaking to an audience last night, and I said, Have you ever asked yourself, know what laugh about? You mean, it's not just about being born, you know, growing up, having a job, you know, going to work every day, and then dying and, you know, there's, there's a spiritual curriculum that we all have as a soul. You know that we manifest into a human body. We come from energy. We manifest into a human body. We're here for a short while. So what is life about? Life is a spiritual playground. It's a spiritual curriculum. We hear. It's like a spiritual school. So we must be grateful for all the experience that we had at kids. We must recognise that everything, even the pain, all the pain, for the experiences, all the trauma, that's all part of our spiritual curriculum, that we have come here to remember, you know, who we really are. And then once our life is over, we'll return that to energy, you know? And so while we are here as matter, for a short while, we must make sure that our life matters. So really, it's just about recognising Who am I becoming, and what you know, who would I like to become, and what is my life going to be about, so that I can make the biggest difference and have the biggest impact. And then, really the biggest way you can have the biggest impact is to heal yourself, because then when you heal yourself and you have no fears and you don't worry about what other people think about you. That's one of the biggest benefits to healing your to healing your own heart, is you have no worries about what people think of you, because you're not trying to pretend that you something that you're not because you're afraid of what they might see. It changes everything. And then you can show up more authentically. And when you show up more authentically, you mean you can be more present. And when you're more present, then you recognise the beauty and everything. You recognise the magic and everything. I magic and everything, like Einstein used to say, right? You recognise the magic in everything. Because everything is magic, especially when you look at quantum physics, and you see how everything is connected. Everything is energy, and it's all it's energy is it has so many different forms. You know, this couch I'm sitting on this phone I'm looking at, you know this? You know, the clothes hanging on the on the line, you know, the cars outside. This is all energy that's forming in these different forms. You know, these solid forms. But it's not really there, right? It's 99.9% space. It's little packets of information that are, all, you know, forming together into these shapes. When you look at it like that, then it's mind blowing, right? But we get so caught up in the smallest part of the conscious mind that is becomes critical by nurture, and then we forget about all the other stuff. And that is our biggest challenge, is why we're here, as to how can we get out of that critical mind and into the magical mind, you know, the magical part of the universe, magical part of life. And that comes from really looking inside and saying, okay, cool. What flawed programmes do I have that are running in my unconscious that are preventing me from recognising my greatness, right?

Thank you for listening. Next episode is episode 500 and as I said in the beginning, it is time to celebrate this huge milestone with revisiting five of the most powerful insights that have been shared on the podcast so far, the insights that resonated the most with you, the listener and this aren't just highlights, they are actionable wisdom that can create real transformation if applied. So make sure you listen in to Episode 500 until then, Stand out. Don't fit in.