Why Calm Disappears in Times of Transition and How One Breath Restores It, with Edward Howard | #576

Agi Keramidas (0:00)
Why calm disappears in times of transition and how one breath restores it. Welcome to Personal Development Mastery, the podcast helping midlife professionals in transition turn uncertainty into clear direction and confident next steps. I am your host, Agi Keramidas.
Join us every Monday for in-depth conversations with experts and every Thursday for shorter solo episodes with insights and tools you can use. This is episode 576. If you are looking to calm the noise in your mind and make clearer decisions under pressure, this conversation explores how awareness and a single conscious breath can reset your state in the moments that matter most.
Whether you are navigating a demanding role, a career transition, or want to make clearer decisions without being stuck in overthinking, this episode is definitely for you. Before we start, if you are a midlife professional ready for change, I offer one-to-one coaching to help you get clear on what's next and create a realistic plan forward. As a former dentist, who has made this transition myself, I know how challenging this can feel.
To explore this, visit personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. That's personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. The link is in the episode description.
Now, let's begin. Today, I'm excited to speak with Edward Howard. Ed, you have spent 20 years in global banking while training for three decades in Zen.
You now help leaders stay clear and decisive, and your one-breath method blends neuroscience with practice to sharpen judgment, restore our calm, and keep us fully present. Ed, welcome to the show. It's a real pleasure to speak with you today.

Edward Howard (2:24)
Thanks very much. It's a grand intro when you hear it read about you, but thanks very much. I'll try and get up to that.

Agi Keramidas (2:34)
Just so I can, let's say, give a little overview to the listener right now about what we're going to talk about, the main thing anyway, is discovering how to use a simple inner reset to calm the noise in our mind and be able to take our next decision, whatever it is, with clarity. We will unfold that as the conversation goes. Ed, what I would like to start with, and it is related also to your story personally, but also to many of the listeners of the podcast, and that is the transitioning of a career, a long career that someone has been into successfully, that has defined them, etc.
When one realizes that this no longer fits and moves or begins to move, what is it that shifts in the thinking, in the way that they perceive things, you believe?

Edward Howard (3:40)
Well, it depends whether it does shift or not. I think that's the critical point. So a lot of my Zen training is based around this idea of stuckness.
It gets translated as suffering quite often in books on Buddhism, but that's not really... It's not accurate. And I think it has this heaviness to it that maybe isn't helpful to people from the West.
So what we're really talking about is whether or not whatever is happening to us or coming up for us in the moment is something that psychologically or physically we are prepared to accept or not. And so I think people transitioning, if you're either deciding that you don't want to do this anymore, that's usually quite a good sign because it shows that you're not stuck. You're conscious that there's a flow there to be had.
But sometimes, if you're marched into a room by HR out of the blue and told that your role's not there anymore, you can panic or you can go through those stages of bereavement that can take a long time. So I think the first thing is... The first question to ask yourself is, where am I with this?
Am I stuck or am I moving?

Agi Keramidas (5:35)
Was there, and I will ask you about you specifically now in your banking career that you left and transitioned, was there a specific moment or some event that happened that really tipped things around for you, like a milestone that you knew that I must change now?

Edward Howard (5:56)
Yeah, there was. But funnily enough, it wasn't as a result of the banking. It came as a result of my dad passing away in 2019.
And I think this maybe happens to a lot of people who are mid-career, or I nearly called myself middle-aged there, which is not something I'm comfortable with, but it's probably certainly true. At that point, I knew... I had this moment of clarity that I didn't have to keep doing what I was doing and that I could go in a different direction if I wanted.
And that's almost strange for me because I've always been quite adaptable and have done different things in life. But for whatever reason, that particular life event was the one that made me think, okay... And it wasn't due to some kind of overbearing parental relationship that had demanded that I work in the finance industry.
Absolutely far from it. But I think certainly when you're growing up, you can take on these things in terms of expectations that aren't necessarily true. And then when that person is gone, the story that you've been telling yourself can crumble.
Not for everybody, but in my case, it had. And although I'd had a pretty enjoyable career in banking, it was really challenging. It was never really what I set out to do.
I ended up falling into it and it moved me over back to Asia, again, to Singapore, where I live now. So it provided me with a lot of opportunities and chances to grow in lots of different ways. But it never really felt like what I wanted to do when I grew up.
It just happened to be that I was in my late 40s by the time the gauntlet was thrown down to me in terms of, okay, well, you now are fully aware of this and you have the opportunity to build something. So what is it? And that really was the bringing together of these two different sides of my life to date.
So the one side was the head that had lived in Japan for 5 years and learned Japanese and then gone on and spent time in monasteries, just short times and kept that kind of interest in Zen. And then the other side was the person that had become a regional head of compliance out here in Singapore. And I'd always kept those two separate.
I didn't see how they interacted. And so there was this 20-year process of running the two tracks together. But when I began to ask myself the question, okay, what do I do now?
I had to look at what I've got so far, what I've built so far in terms of my life. And those were the two paths.

Agi Keramidas (9:28)
So sorry to interrupt you, but to bring things again to something that we were talking about that we would discuss. So let me move to the awareness. One thing about awareness, actually, I will preface it with this, that you use awareness as a performance tool, which is something that for many of us, it sounds like a rather intrigue concept or a unique concept, because awareness is more like an internal state that at least that's how many perceive it.
So let's start with this. Tell us about, first of all, how do you explain awareness and then how is that, how do you use it as a performance tool?

Edward Howard (10:20)
Okay. The way that I explain it is you basically got these three keys and this borrows directly from Zen, but you have your understanding of your mind, you have your breath, and then the bringing together of those two things is essentially awareness. And that's what anchors you in the moment.
And people might have heard that before in terms of mindfulness courses. And I've watched with interest as mindfulness has blown up into this huge kind of movement that has integrated itself in working life. But the part that I find particularly interesting and is maybe missing from mindfulness education is this idea of the three minds that come from Zen.
And that wasn't really easy to explain in scientific terms because it had come, I think, from Buddhism and yoga and some of the other Eastern traditions. You couldn't really hang it on the science, but there's been a huge amount of research in the last 20 years or so. And what's coming back now that is feeding back into and the way that it's explained in Zen, but obviously, in Western scientific or psychological language.
And the first time I spent some time in a monastery, I had this lecture from a senior monk on, I think, the final day when my legs couldn't sit crossed anymore. And it blew my mind because I've been through A-levels in university and so on and was reasonably well-read and had read a lot while I was in Japan.
But he started to talk about this thing called the dualistic and the non-dualistic mind. And in sorts of psychological theory or in neuroscience, and I'm not a scientist, I'm self-taught, but we have this part of the brain or the mind called the default mode network. And that's the part that judges and fixes and picks and chooses.
It's the part of the brain that we use for analysis and planning, negotiating and decision making. But with it, you always perceive yourself as me and other. So that's great for those tasks that I just mentioned. But it's also linked with your nervous system being quite braced and over-reliance on it.
And I think pretty much everybody that has grown up in the West spends a lot of time in this particular mind or using that particular network. And this is where, from a leadership perspective, most people get stuck. And when it gets out of control, it leads to stuff like overthinking and defensiveness, and stress.
And so the second mind, and you can think of these as three gears that you can move through. But the second part is the non-dual. And this was the bit that when I heard this in a lecture, it really surprised me.
And he basically said, because there's always the dual, so there's always right and wrong, or left and right, or fast and slow, that there has to be something that is beyond right and wrong, or left and right, or fast and slow. And that's known as the dualistic mind. And that's an awareness without judgment.
I can talk a little bit later about where pretty much everyone that is listening to this will have experienced that later. In the non-dual, you see yourself separate from the problem. You see the system as the problem, or what your experience is of the problem.
But you shift out of a me defense of it. You begin to see patterns. You see misaligned incentives and stress loops and unmet needs. So it's like an information mind that you're sitting in, but you're not doing anything with.
And this is the thing that when people think about monks sitting for long periods of time and slowing everything down. This is the one that they think about.
And then the third part is known as the transcendent in Zen. And this is where action arises without a debate, and it maps. So the non-dual is the default mode network, quieting down and damping down. And the transcendent is where you get in a state of flow.
So most of us will have had that experience when we're really concentrating on something and time seems to disappear. And we get something done really quickly. Or I don't know if we're playing tennis or a sport or running. And we're performing an action and we're completely in the moment.
But there's no inner debate going on that that those voices on either shoulder aren't working. And so what the one breath method is really an awareness of those three mind states. So you can ask yourself, what mind am I in now?
Am I massively overthinking something? Am I stressing about something? Am I in the non-dual where I'm just taking everything in and I'm aware? Or in the transcendent, it tends to be where we're taking action and doing something.
And you can do most tasks in any one of those. But once you have the awareness that this is the way that your mind is operating, you can learn to switch between them. And you can do that with one breath.
So that's where the whole concept comes from. And I think a lot of people that think about meditation, and certainly a lot of my friends that have tried meditation, they sit down and they try to quieten the mind and it just goes ballistic. It goes berserk.
And you're thinking about what to have for dinner or what you're going to have for dinner. And it's just completely going off. So awareness is really, it's not a mind state. It's noticing what mind you're in and then using the breath to become aware of that and act accordingly.
So it's kind of ridiculously simple, really. But like most things, it takes a little bit of practice.
I found personally, and there is some science to back this, is that if you're performing one breath or two or three breaths regularly throughout the day, and this is quite similar to mindfulness, if not the same, it stacks up.
So you can kind of atomic habit meditation. And so it's really then about just coming back to this awareness through daily tasks like turning your key in the door or hearing an email come in and opening it up to answer it and just bringing it back to the breath each time and stacking it.
And what happens, firstly, physiologically is that default mode network quietens down. Physiologically, you begin to breathe more deeply, your cortisol drops, there's lots of physiological as well as psychological occurrences that happen. And these get us in a much clearer state.
But most people will feel, how often does somebody stop you and say, let's just take one deep breath? Not very often. That we're all kind of rushing around in this sort of semi sort of crazy state or berserk state.
So that's it basically, in a nutshell. And the book goes into more depth, certainly on the science and so on.

Agi Keramidas (19:41)
Is that one breath that you talk about some kind of a specific kind of breath? Is it simple enough to teach us now what is that one breath? Because it sounds overly simple if you just say in one breath, is it a specific type of breath?
That's what I'm trying to ask.

Edward Howard (20:00)
It is overly simple. That's the kind of amusing and surprising and and great thing about this is... And people will have been exposed to breath work and maybe done different types.
But this is based on the Zen idea. It's through the nose with the mouth closed. It's in through the nose for a count of six, down to about two fingers below your belly button.
In physiological terms, that forces the diaphragm down and it engages diaphragmatic breathing rather than... Most of us, certainly if you're working in London or Hong Kong or Tokyo or New York, are taking short, sharp breaths from the upper chest.
So it's six breaths into this lower part of the belly, a count of six and then back out through the nose for a count of six.
There's... If your nose is blocked, you can do it through your mouth. It's not ideal, but it will work.
If you can only do the inhale and your nose is... Because for whatever reason, you can breathe out through the mouth. But as you build it up over time, doing it through the nose has, again, physiological benefits in terms of germ filtration and it warms the breath up and so on.
And then the second part to that, in order to build the awareness, is to follow that breath down as you take it. So if you just think about the breath going in through your nose and down the back of your throat, and then imagine it going through the belly and down to the lower belly, that essentially gives your mind something to follow.
Again, this is the most basic of basic Zen instructions. And if you're going to meditate for 5-10 minutes, you just do the same thing, but sitting down for 5 or 10 minutes.
But I was conscious of having something that you could do if you're in a busy environment or an office environment. You can't be saying, let me just go and sit down for 3 minutes and breathe.
So by creating this handbrake to whatever your mind's doing at the time, it will open that space up. And with practice, it starts to become second nature until it does become second nature.

Agi Keramidas (22:39)
This is great. Thank you very much for this description. I get it.
And I was about to ask you, but I think I will tell you what I think about it. And I like you used the phrase handbrake to what your mind is doing, which really can...
What I got very much the usefulness of it, because the question that arises with this is that I can, of course, do the breathing in the way that you described and follow it below my belly when we're having a nice conversation or when I'm sitting relaxed.
But when I'm having an intense conversation with a colleague or someone and there is, let's say, a lot of emotional tension, then that's the time that we need that awareness and be able to take that breath the most. And usually that's the time that most of us never do it.
And I liked very much because you said that to be able to do it, or at least that's how I understand it, if I'm correct, is by practicing because you said it stacks up.
So if I do this breath, this technique, this one breath, during times in my day when I open the door or when I'm sitting on my desk in moments of transition, then it stacks up in a way that when I actually need to use the breath because there is chaos around, then I can use it and really ground myself. That's how I received it anyway.

Edward Howard (24:24)
That's exactly it. And do you see what I mean when I say it sounds so simple that it's bordering on the ridiculous. But because nobody will know that you're doing it either.
You can do it in a meeting where all hell's breaking loose. Or you can do it on the phone when your boss is chewing you out. Or you can do it when you're having a year-end review of somebody that works for you and it's proving difficult.
Or as you said, I think you used the word emotionally, tumultuous. I'm not quoting your exact words there. But because it works on a physical level as well, it's not just some woo-woo, get with the Zen man.
It's actually physiologically calming you down and slowing all those systems down. I guess you just got to make sure that you're not concentrating so much on that that you forget to listen to what the other person is saying to you.
But certainly, it's literally a breather and a break in conversation or negotiation or whatever. It's an unbelievably useful tool.
And as you practice this over time and more and more through the day, I think of it as the steps, counters that you have on your watch or the exercise minutes or what have you.
If you start to stack them like that, you'll notice obviously the physiological effects as you become calmer and your mind becomes clearer. And that will build over time. It builds really quickly as well. Because as I said earlier, most of us kind of very rarely stop and take a conscious breath.

Agi Keramidas (26:19)
Yes. Thank you very much. That's very useful.
Before we start wrapping things up, I wanted to ask you about your book. So basically, tell us who is the book for and where can someone find or look for it?

Edward Howard (26:38)
Sure. Thank you. It's called One Breath Leadership.
It's coming out on the 24th of March. It is basically everything I've talked about in more detail. I kind of say at the start that if you just want to read the first chapter and then put it down, that's absolutely fine because I kind of will have taught you everything there is to be taught by that stage anyway.
And you can go to OneBreathLeadership.com at the moment. And in the top right hand corner, there's a... It says free stuff.
And if you click on there and leave your email address and name, there's a load of free bits and pieces. But the book's aimed really at anybody that's in a leadership role, anybody really that's in a management role.
I guess those are the 2 those are the 2 groups that I had in mind. But the technique itself and the idea behind it and the way to practice it, you don't have to be managing people.
You can be managing yourself, which is always the most difficult thing in life, I often think. So there should be some good stuff in there for anyone really.
But yeah, because of my background in corporate life, the initial idea was aimed at those 2 groups.

Agi Keramidas (27:57)
Ed, I want to thank you very much for this conversation we had today. And I really appreciated especially the way you described the breathing technique and how can one lead to that. So it's very useful, very practical.
And I will invite everyone who is listening right now to practice it right now. Actually, it is only one breath.
So I want to thank you very much, Ed, to wish you the very best with carrying on with your mission. Thank you. And I will leave it to you for your part in words.
What is the message that you would like to leave our audience with?

Edward Howard (28:47)
I guess just try this and then try it a few times and experiment with it and see how you get on. Because it really does all, you know, how we face life and transitions and relationships and jobs.
It really does all come down to, you know, how aware we are in the moment and what choices we make and so if you're doing that from a kind of clear, as relaxed as you can be in the moment state, you're going to make better decisions that you are happy to live with.
And life will open up to you in ways that, you know, maybe will take you by surprise.

Agi Keramidas (29:33)
Thank you for listening to this conversation with Ed Howard. I hope it has given you a new perspective on how awareness, practiced one breath at a time, can change the way you handle pressure, decisions, and transition.

Agi Keramidas (29:53)
If you are a mid-life professional in a long-standing career ready for a change, I offer one-to-one coaching to help you get clear on what's next and create a realistic plan forward. As a former dentist who has made this transition myself, I know how challenging this can feel.
To explore this, visit personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. That's personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. The link is in the episode description. Until next time, stand out, don't fit in.