Why You Keep Abandoning Yourself in the Little Moments (Personal Development Wisdom Snippets) | #653

[Agi Keramidas]
Welcome to Personal Development Mastery Podcast, and this is another snippet of wisdom, where I select my favorite, most insightful moments from previous episodes. Let's dive right in.

[Becca Eve Young]
Oh man, self-doubt is the, is the, the number one, I would say, outcome or effect of ditching the script, of ditching the societal script, because of course, this is the, this is the role that you've been handed, and you've been told since birth, you're meant to play this role. And then all of a sudden, you realize, no, I, I, that's, that's not true to me. And so of course, there's mounds of self-doubt that pour onto you, because all of a sudden, you're not choosing to like, ask outside of yourself for direction, which is what we're all told to do.

You're like, you start to actually begin to trust yourself, but, but it took, it took me years of micro-trusts to begin to build that up. And it is, it is, it takes time. It takes, it takes time, but the thing that we don't get publicized that often, again, in the media of the perfect realm, I mean, every single human on this planet has self-doubt.

Beyonce had to come up with an alter ego, Sasha Fierce, in order to step on the stage. She was terrified, terrified. So she literally had to go outside of herself, create an alternate reality person, avatar, in order to get the courage to step out there, because we're all used to performing.

And the beautiful thing is, is if we, as you can see, even through conversations like this, if we stop performing and we allow our authentic selves and our humanity to be seen, there's no need to perform. And now I'm like, I don't, I don't care, not in an egoistic way, but it's my truth. And I know that someone else on their journey is going to feel more seen and less alone.

And that's the energy that connects all of us. And so as we all, you know, sit in this auditorium, I don't know why we're going with the script thing. I haven't, but this is great.

But so, you know, as we're in the auditorium with our scripts and we all, all of a sudden, like someone sings a little song and you're like, that was not in the scene. And then all of a sudden it's like, wow, that was pretty. And then someone else is like, well, I want to, I want to tell a joke.

And I, you know, and it's like that unique expression, like that it's like a flock of birds, right? It's like, you can't emulate that. It's stunning.

It's beautiful. It's got such frequency to it. And that self-doubt is from ignoring your frequency.

It's ignoring your rhythm. And as you, in these little micro trusts each day, for me, it was sitting with my own mind. It was saying no to the thing that I didn't want to do.

It was stopping, conversating with the person that, you know, they're a good human being, but it's somehow like, it doesn't feel good. And you're like, well, I don't want to be mean. I don't want to, I should, I should.

And it's like, no, every time you just listen to that little voice, it gets louder, it gets more clear. And the self-doubt, the little self-doubt meter starts to slowly, you know, it's coming down. And sure, there's moments we're human.

Like it's not like, oh, I have, today I have released self-doubt and it's forever gone. No, but the more that you learn to trust your own frequency, your own rhythm, your own path, then you don't have the self-doubt because you're not playing a role you weren't meant to play.

[Agi Keramidas]
Tell us a practical tool, because you said about building it up, this ability to trust in yourself. Tell us, give us a practical tool that you recommend one can use too.

[Becca Eve Young]
I have, as you've already pointed out, I am a big fan of simplicity and not overly complicating things. And so for me, the number one thing that I could do was learning how to activate this, this, this intuitive compass that we all have, but it's all been numbed out through you name it, you know, Netflix, drinking, numbing plans, being busy, you know, saying yes to things that you don't want to say yes to. And so to, you know, to ditch the self-doubt first, you have to tune into self.

So you can't even ditch the self-doubt until you take the step back and, and actually connect with yourself. And I hate to be cliche, but there's a reason why we all recommend meditation because it is the only thing that allows us. I mean, there's, there's other things, right?

Time and nature and walks, but it really allows you to sit with yourself, come into your body. When we're all so constantly in our screen and out and in the world. And every morning I start with a meditation and it just allows you to come into your body, come into your intuition and like, hear your own voice.

And so you can't ditch yourself out until you know yourself, because then you're throwing things away that you're not connected to. So I can't recommend it enough. It has been, it has been life-changing.

And I know everyone's, you know, not everyone, but people get scared of meditation. Oh, the thing, and I'm not going to do it right. No, no.

Meditation is messy. Everyone thinks meditation is this like Zen state. No, it's a hot mess in there.

You're with your mind and the thing. And I sent that email and this person did the focus that's meditation. And it's messy for everybody.

So coming into self meditating, getting like learning to witness your mind and then say, okay, stop. And even 10 minutes a day is magical. So that's for me, like step one.

And then when you want to learn to ditch that self doubt it's, it's really, it's quite simple because we all learn, okay. Oh, I have this big business decision coming up. What should I do?

What do you think I should do? Should I do this? Should I do that?

Should I do this thing? So we're constantly asking our partners, parents, spouses, friends, lovers, what should I do? Stop doing that.

I mean, yes, yes. You can ask your friends for advice, but no one is walking your path. No one has the energy frequency experience, past, present, future.

We won't talk about what comes before this life. It comes after this life. This is your beautiful dream.

And so it's tuning into yourself when you have the simplest of things, the simplest of things. Do I want to go to this event? Am I doing it out of people pleasing or what I should, or do I actually want to go and listening to yourself and letting people down around you and just choosing what you know is true for you?

It could be as simple as, do I want to go to this movie? No, I don't. Do I want to have a coffee or a glass of water here?

Have a coffee. You know what? Actually, when I drink coffee, it makes me feel anxious, whatever.

And saying no to the coffee. I'll have a cup of tea here. Have a glass of wine.

You know what? I'm not really feeling that today, but I'll I'll be the one at the table who decides to have a lemonade. It sounds so silly, but we don't realize how many ways we abandon ourselves each day in the tiniest of fashions, tiny.

And so you can make all the big decisions in your life. You can go for that thing. You can go for that job.

You can nail it. And you can be like, yes, look at me. I'm a person of importance.

But all those little micro mistrusts all live under the surface. And until you get in there and look at that mess, that is a mess. And you allow some of those to be seen.

You acknowledge that you abandoned yourself in those moments and you let those little things go. That's where you begin to build that self-trust because you're done abandoning yourself, which we don't realize we do all the time for people pleasing for parents, everybody. And it's as simple as choosing you in those little moments, tiny little things where you just say, I'm done pleasing everybody else around me.

I love you all. Don't get me wrong, but I'm, I'm doing what I want.

[Agi Keramidas]
If you enjoy listening and appreciate what we're doing here, the quick, simple favor I'm asking of you is to click the subscribe button. Until next time, stand out. Don't fit in.