#218 Why running is a metaphor for life, the inner journey, and realising that your purpose is being you, with Dr Melissa Corley Carter.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

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Please note, while an effort is made to provide an accurate transcription, errors and omissions may be present. No part of this transcription can be referenced or reproduced without permission.

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Melissa Corley Carter  0:00  
To me life purpose is really about being your full self. So your purpose is to be who you are is to be the fullest expression of you. It's not about what you do, that sometimes adds an additional layer of stress like, well, I don't know what that means. So so what I would suggest to anybody sort of seeking personal development and what you know what does really light them up, I would say, take 10 minutes, you know, set a timer for 10 minutes and do something that really brings you joy, and just have fun with it.

Agi Keramidas  0:37  
You are listening to personal development mastery podcast where you will find both the inspiration to grow and the actions to implement towards your next level. I am your host Keramidas and my mission is to inspire you to stand out and live your best life. I interview thought leaders, authors, entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, exceptional people who will inspire you to improve your life and offer through their wisdom actions you can take and implement. You tune in for two new episodes each week and make sure you follow the podcast to get the episodes as soon as they are released.

On today's show, I am delighted to speak with Dr. Melissa Corley Carter. Melissa you are a rocket scientist and Air Force officer turned writer, artist, speakers, leadership goats and champion of resilience. You are a global marathon runner, and you are the author and photographic of the book, running the World Marathon memoirs from the seven continents. You're passionate about helping people reconnect with their true selves. And remember how powerful unique and awesome they are. Melissa, welcome to Personal Development mastery. I'm delighted to speak with you today.

Melissa Corley Carter  2:11  
Thank you so much for having me, Aggie it's a pleasure to be here.

Agi Keramidas  2:15  
I don't often have rocket scientists in this room. I think you you're probably the second one. But it is your story. And I would love to start with a few elements of your of your story. There are many to choose from. But that's a background that you always wanted to become an author, an astronaut. When I read that you reminded me of that movie with Jodie Foster contact. She was obsessed about you know, space and the stars and words in them. So do you want to take us back and share a bit of background on? Why did you get intrigued with that in the first place?

Melissa Corley Carter  3:00  
Yes, I love that you brought up contact. I read that book when I was little and saw the movie and it was it's still one of the one of my favourite movies of all time. Absolutely loved it. Yes. So I got it. I was always interested in space. And I grew up watching Star Trek and Star Wars and was looking at the stars at night. And when I was in fifth grade, and astronaut came and talked to my class. And from that day forward, I was set I knew I wanted to be an astronaut. And I chased that path and didn't didn't really look back and went down that road for 20 years doing all the math and science getting the engineering degrees. And you know, I had bad eyesight. So I knew that I didn't actually qualify, but I sort of trusted the universe that they would eventually allow eye surgery. And they did. So I got eye surgery. So I had 2020 vision and all the stars aligned and I applied in 2012 The first time I was qualified to apply and ended up actually, it turned out that my eyesight before LASIK was so bad that I was disqualified anyway. So so that was that was challenging for me. So it was really this 20 Year 20 year dream that I and I had I had identified myself as a future astronaut pretty much my whole life. Didn't really know who I'd be without that. But it actually took that moment, I think, to really ask myself the question, What did I really want from it? And and it's taken actually several years in retrospect as well. That was actually about 10 years ago when that happened. Thinking about what what was it not just Oh, that'd be really cool. You know, when you're in fifth grade, and then you just run with it. As I've thought and more and reflected more. I realised that what I really wanted was to be able to inspire people to greatness the way that astronauts had always inspired me. And I feel like I also have always intuitively known that I was spiritually connected to the universe and and Somehow I in fifth grade that sort of tangibly presented itself to me as being an astronaut. So it's but it's really about what when you ask, what did you really want? Or what is for me, what I've learned from that is, what is the goal behind the goal? Why do you want what you want? And I think that's so important for people to ask themselves about dreams.

Agi Keramidas  5:20  
I've opened many topics, similar with what you just told me. But what's one thing that came to mind goes from the fifth grade, then it was not just a child, this dream, then you dedicated 20 years of your life going and creating that identity, as you said, which, at some point, and you went through the story, rather quickly, without the, I'm sure there were many highs and lows before that ending point that you were, you know, rejected. But I, I can relate and I appreciate what you're telling me about the the second or the why the reason behind the reason I think that's some gold or something like that. Because it is one thing to do something for ourselves. But the reason behind the reason usually is not about ourselves, what do you think it's about, you know, sharing or contributing or athletes rather than ourselves?

Melissa Corley Carter  6:30  
Yes, I think so. And I also think it's a feeling, it's more of a feeling and a way of being more than the goal itself. And the cool thing about that is with the sharing, and the feeling, is there's so many different ways to achieve that. But we get so set on the actual 3d interpretation or the goal itself and think that's what's gonna make us happy. But it's really, there's so many different ways to come to the end objective as it were, of us feeling a certain way being a certain way and sharing your gifts with the world.

Agi Keramidas  7:06  
Can I then I would like to, before we go in deeper in that tell me also about your transition to coaching? Was that something that came to you as a result of what we were just talking about sharing, or was it something, something else?

Melissa Corley Carter  7:30  
Yes, I think so. It, you know, I've actually always been really good at people, you know, listening, team dynamics, people and leadership has always really inspired me. And, and finding meaning finding meaning whether it's in books and literature, or in life itself, or in someone else's path, helping someone to shift their perspective and illuminate a different way of looking at themselves a different way of looking at their lives, and gaining the inspiration and motivation to move forward and make many different choices. And, and so, you know, I sort of naturally always did that. And, and I sort of came to this point in my, in my Air Force career after the astronaut thing, rejection happened, and I didn't really know what I was going to do next, I came to a decision point where I could either, you know, stay in for the rest of the 20 years to retirement or leap and do something different. I didn't really know what it would be, but I was definitely feeling the call to leap and I had started to hear about this thing called life coaching. And, and actually, when I when I left, I became a reservists but I and then I started my own business as a coach, I got certified as a life coach and just found it to be what really came most naturally to me. Again, finding that meaning in life and helping other people rise to to their best selves,

Agi Keramidas  8:50  
I find thank you for your answer. And I find it very interesting, that moment where you said that you could carry on and do another 20 years of what you were doing, but you had to you took the leap that's the word you used and I'm sure that people who listened that can can relate to that and also like we know that this leap requires a certain amount of currents and that's why not everyone takes it even though the rates that crossroad but they do remain in the you know, maybe the comfortable so the familiar So, right, what's something you would say to someone listening now that they are in that crossroads, and they can see the leap, but they're very hesitant to take it?

Melissa Corley Carter  9:44  
So there's a couple of different things. And I think that so there's kind of two roads one I do want to say that you you don't actually you don't have to quit your job to live a purposeful life and I think that that stresses people out sometimes thinking Oh no, say I want to go be a nature photographer. But But how does that, you know, how do I make a living doing that and but they feel like if they don't actually quit, they will somehow be failing at their life purpose. And that's, you know, not true. So just want to say that right off the bat that there's small steps, you know, we, in the space theme, small steps, giant leaps, you don't have to take a giant leap right off the bat, you can take small steps in different directions and, you know, experiment with things, bring more joy and purpose into your daily life, while you're doing your job, you know, to pay the bills and all that kind of thing. And so so that you can, you can explore expanding the edge of your comfort zone, without throwing yourself into terror. So there's that fine line, right courage and you but you don't want to just set yourself up to be living on the street as it were. And, and you also can, you know, if, if you have the resources in place, you can make that giant leap and see where it takes you. So I think if it's, if it's fear that's holding you back, I would say, what is what's on the other side of the fear? Because a lot of times are actually especially in our modern day, our bodies respond to existential fears, as if they are physical threats. So so if you're at this crossroads, your body may be responding like you're facing a sabre toothed Tiger. But it's actually just an existential thing, like either there is amazingness. On the other side, there is fulfilment on the other side. So don't let the existential fear stop you.

Agi Keramidas  11:42  
I like that very much what you said that it does feel like it is physical fear, even though it's existential, as you said. I would like certainly, this is very interesting, but I will have to change gears because I must ask you about running. So you have done something extraordinary, something not many people, as far as I know, have done and that's to run a marathon in each of the seven continents. I have only run one marathon myself in, in one continent, which

Melissa Corley Carter  12:22  
congratulations, that's huge.

Agi Keramidas  12:25  
Very huge. Indeed it is. But of course, you're seeing the different levels. So do you want to share what made you take on a feat like that? What was your motivation?

Melissa Corley Carter  12:41  
So that was really interesting, because I did not have run a marathon on my bucket list. I never really considered running a marathon. But after I graduated from college, and I was in my my first Air Force assignment, I you know, you run when you're in the military, you have physical fitness tests, and things like that. And so I had been running more. And a friend of mine, who was a really good athlete, took me on longer and longer runs. We were she took me on my first eight mile run. And and that was certainly an experience. And I was actually telling my mom about my latest running escapades. And she said, hey, you know, there's a marathon in Big Sur, in Big Sur, California, which is a beautiful place off the Pacific Coast of California. And I that really intrigued me, I thought, wow, how cool to be able to run on Highway One through Big Sur. And that was actually motivation enough. It was September the race was in April, and I thought, wow, I could train for a marathon and in that amount of time, I'm not fast. I definitely don't break any records. I don't you know, I am not at the front of the pack. I just crossed the finish line. So So for me, it was all about the experience. And and so I did that first marathon at the race Expo the couple days before the marathon when I was getting my packet and all that there was actually a booth for a group called the seven continents Club, which I had not heard of before but they they do they go around running marathons on all seven continents and and I thought wow, that's really cool. And and it just the idea landed and I just I couldn't let it go. It was it was as soon as it became a thing I thought well, I mean, I can't not do it now it's there. So it was really more of as people asked me why I did it and my reaction is kind of like why not? And so it definitely called to me and just had to be done.

Agi Keramidas  14:34  
That's that's the impression I got when you say that it you're instinctively called to do it like it it's one of those things that I felt that when I ran my marathon that it was like something wanted to be expressed through me this experience and then to share it with with you have so So you've done the one marathon you enjoy with it, and then you carried on. And one thing that I I enjoyed when I was looking at your, your book with, which has some amazing photographs, by the way with your take trips around the world and the microphones was something that you were, let's say, correlating this journey, this outer journey, which is epic in many ways, you know, travelling and seven continents, continents and running a marathon. And also correlating that with the inner journey, which I can only imagine it's even more epic than the outer journey, but maybe not necessarily as easy to express and describe and share that with with other people. So, if I were to ask you, Melissa, what do you what do you think? Are the similarities between the inner and the outer journey in your case? And the differences? Or maybe the, you know, the main one anyway?

Melissa Corley Carter  16:11  
Hmm, yes. I really discovered through running marathons and training for them that running is a really big metaphor for life. And, you know, if you think of life like a marathon, you break it down into smaller pieces to be manageable. So you know, you literally just take it one step at a time, what I found in my training, I would be starting a run and, and if it was, say, a 20 mile training run, I would, I'd finish one mile, and I would think, Oh my gosh, can I do to go it sounds like so much at a marathon, you know, you're a one mile one you have 25 points do to go, it's crazy. And but what I found was over and over and over again, I always got to mile 19, or mile 25.2. And there's only one mile to go. And, and I found that literally, if you just put one foot in front of the other over and over and over again, you get there. And so I think when I think about life, I think that that's so important. First of all, now there's a couple what the biggest difference is that the marathon does have a definite finish line. And somewhere you you know, where you're going in life, you there's not really a finish line. I mean, there's you know, our end of life, but but it's not we there is no plan or course that's laid out in front of us that we just have to follow the map, you know, or follow the other runners. It's so in that way, it's different. But the strategy I think is the same, which is put one foot in front of the other and and have faith that the the sort of the path will reveal itself as you go. So in life, you don't need to have the whole thing figured out. I think that's sometimes what holds us back. Like, again, at that crossroads. We think, oh, no, I don't know what's going to happen if I leave or I don't know what to do, you know, five years from now, you don't have to know what to do five years from now just take the first step. And then and then the next one and the next one will show up. And as you keep taking steps, the next ones will show up. So it's it's really that idea that concept of being able to take it one step at a time, instead of being completely overwhelmed or paralysed by the full marathon itself.

Agi Keramidas  18:26  
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You you talked about my Madison V limit fourfold life, and you will saying how, you know, Marathon has a definitive ending point where maybe life is maybe a series of Marathon so often one after the other. Because you usually have some point of relaxation afterwards, and then you carry on. So it might be, but I, yeah, I very much understand and appreciate the the metaphor and how you describe it about, you know, moving on just one step at a time. And that's, that's really all we can do. That's really all anyone can do, no one moves to the end. Like, immediately, they have to go through the steps. And then before that, they have to go through the training. And what you said earlier about, many people not being overwhelmed, because they can't maybe see with clarity, their endpoint, or the I think that's normal, it's normal not to be able to see we can't see it, we have very, very limited perception, which is only, you know, our own, or maybe from some other people perception, but we can't. So I think for me, it is a matter of having an idea of the general direction you want your life to take and taking the again, I will reiterate what you said about taking the small actions, the small steps, and looking what's happening, am I in the right way, reevaluating, and just keeping on going and you will get there, it was just, they were very impatient as human beings, especially, you know, when you start a journey of maybe personal development, or wanting to success and all those things, there is this level of impatience, and I will hold my hand up right now, because I'm not saying that patient, I would like things to happen faster. But I think there is a fine line to realise that maybe that faster? Is not the faster that we perceive. Because there are there are, you know, so many other factors combined, just to look at what what does. So.

Melissa Corley Carter  22:23  
Yes, yes. And also, I love what you were saying there to have this, this sort of vision. And sometimes we actually have a limited vision. So thinking this pressure to know the ending, when we come up with an ending, it actually may be too small for us, like the universe has way bigger plans. And and I'll say for me personally, with the with the astronaut rejection, you know, it felt like the end of the world in the moment, and yet what it woke me up to, and the higher purpose that it initiated me into is, is way bigger and better. So I'm so grateful for that moment. So I think, also reminding people that, that asking the question, you know, what am I here for? If you already know the ending, I mean, the rest of your life can be pretty boring, you know, it's so there's something to be said for the mystery, because it has the potential to be even more amazing and bigger and better than you could possibly imagine in this moment,

Agi Keramidas  23:20  
that like it very much what you just said the word mystery, I think that really describes perfectly what and it should be like that. Otherwise, when we we try to define it. I know I have done in exercises in the past like defining my Northstar or things like that. Because I only tried to do it intellectually, from my mind, it is a very the word that comes to mind. It's a fantasy, a fantasy of what I would like to achieve and what you said that the universe will probably have a very different and broad this purpose. For us, it's something that yeah, the word mystery I highlighted that I underlined it so 100% Totally. I wonder if I if I find this a very intriguing topic and I think there is there is more we can discuss about that.

Melissa Corley Carter  24:24  
Yes, totally. There was

Agi Keramidas  24:27  
one other thing I wanted to add, running and the spiritual element that will I will share from my experience during especially the marathon the very long run. There was a point during the run that I felt very much, you know, detached from the physical sensation like the pain had the pain that I had disappeared and I also detached from The inner dialogue that's constant chatter that oh, I'm going to fall down and collapse and blah, blah, blah, all this you know, fearful thoughts. And I connected with something that was deeper, something that was more peaceful and it felt like there was only running there was no, not me as a runner, it was just the act of running and I would look around me and wonder what on earth is happening and it was very, very peaceful experience. You know, until the finish line when I've broken tears from all the you know, the relief and or the emotional rollercoaster. But I will I would love to hear your, you know, experiencing these things having run so many races. I would love if you said

Melissa Corley Carter  25:54  
yes. Oh, I love that. Auggie. Yes, the word peaceful, that really, that really resonates. Because I also discovered this sort of piece. And, you know, it's, as I look back at all the training runs in the marathons, I can't really remember, say what I was thinking about, but on a, on a really long run, you do sort of just stop thinking, you know, and it's more about being in the moment, I would, I would kind of coordinate my breath with my steps. So like breathing in for this many steps breathing out for that many steps. And a lot of times I was focused on that. But I really do feel like I became more in the moment more present more mindful, if you were, if you will, and, and certainly in a lot of the races, you know, running a course I had never seen before. There were there were some times when I think my favourite times were when I couldn't see anyone ahead of me, and I couldn't see anyone behind me. And I was just, it was literally just all me alone in nature. And and I felt so connected in those moments, you know, again, just that process one foot in front of the other where it's, it's, it's, the running is sort of automatic, you know, you're you're doing the thing, but looking around, just like you said, looking around, like, wow, I'm really here, I'm really doing this, you know, this is how amazing so that that sort of sense of connection to nature in the earth, in the process of seeing on foot somewhere that you might never, you know, go on foot or go at all. That definitely I think that that spiritual experience, and that sense of spiritual connection come really comes out on a

Agi Keramidas  27:32  
connection with within yourself.

Melissa Corley Carter  27:37  
Mm hmm. I love that. I love that. Yes, I think, again, not so much intellectualised. But just a sense of peace and ease of your, you know, I didn't feel like I was worrying about what I was going to do after the run or like, I'm not thinking about my to do list or the grocery list or anything like that. It's a that being in the moment, is a sense of connection with self and sort of self as a part of this great hole that we're all in. So I think in some ways, when I think about connection to the universe, that is connection to the self, because we are all the universe and the universe is all us. And so it's feeling of a feeling of being completely at one, I think that dad really I do love that piece of running piece, actually, I said that I said that meaning p i e ce but PE AC E, they're both, they're both,

Agi Keramidas  28:37  
both of them. I personally can relate with this being in the moment when I'm out there and look around, even if it is the same route that I usually do, you know, outside where I live. It's beautiful. And then after one or two minutes, I really can connect and be more present with the moment and leave the chatter of the mind and that inner dialogue and my grocery list to my to do list, whatever it is. Leave that aside for a while. Sure.

Melissa Corley Carter  29:19  
It's also to us so a source of inspiration. I find if I if I find myself at my desk trying to work something out. I know that as soon as I go for my run or my walk, sometimes I feel sort of like oh no if I don't have time for that, you know I have to sit here and and work on this thing and figure this thing out and figure it out is the death sentence. Right? It's that's when you know you're trying too hard to figure it out with your mind and you're overthinking it. And that's exactly when you need to get out there and go for that run or walk because it the free association and the first of all, just moving your body and doing something different actually allows in that creative space to be Be creative and solutions come, you know, and so sometimes I am out on a walk and, and the answer comes in. And so it's it's a really huge piece of the creative process, too. I think

Agi Keramidas  30:13  
I can I add to that I remember at some points, I was preparing to give a public speech, and rounds before the last, the last maybe two or three days before the speech, I would run and recite the talk while I was running, so I remember that I was looking at the people around me that I would pass by, they would say this guy is running and speeches at the same time, like, so. It is. And also, inspired ideas come with that process. And what you said, I will also reiterate that it's very tempting sometimes in the way that we operate, ate, that will want to do do and go and more, more and more. And neglect things like this, which is physical activity. And I will put it very broadly when we're talking about running because we both love it, but not everyone enjoys running. But for me, it doesn't matter. It's a matter of, you know, doing a physical activity that you enjoy doing. And that will certainly changes your emotional state as well. And you will get better ideas. And sometimes if you get one good idea, like when you go for a run, it might save you five months of work. No, not not the half an hour that you did that yes to run. So yeah, never underestimate how powerful this inspired thoughts come to us. And you said the phrase figure it out? Yes. When we only utilise our left brain to try and solve problems and figure it out. Then we we neglect a very important part of our aspect of who we are. And what makes us who we are.

Melissa Corley Carter  32:12  
Absolutely. Yes. Oh, I love that. I love that yet, because there we are, we do have so many sources of knowing sometimes it's just, you know, gnostic, knowing what they call gnostic, and just an intuitive sense of knowing what's right or through the right brain and the left brain working together. At but we do tend to live in a world that only values the left brain side of it. So it's so we've, in some cases grown up being a little bit disconnected from all our other sources of wisdom or being taught that they, because we can't necessarily defend how we know something that it's not valid. So it it is it's totally valid. And so you don't have to explain how you know what, you know, just trust your own knowing

Agi Keramidas  32:55  
then to want to prove scientific proof evidence for everything. But what you just said that the word trust you use trusting your knowing? And yeah, what we know very well, I think how that feels like and of course, following that it is a process that doesn't happen naturally or easily to everyone. But I believe with this process, something to learn and practice and get better at.

Melissa Corley Carter  33:31  
Yes, yes. And allowing, allowing it to happen, you know, and doing like you said more. It doesn't have to be running, but doing a physical activity, doing something that engages your whole body, you know, brings in brings in all of those different sources. And so you can there are muscles that you can strengthen, just like your body.

Agi Keramidas  33:49  
So again, I wanted to ask you a quick two comments from your marathons. One was the marathon in place, because it's my home country. So if you would just give me two comments about that, but also the one in Antarctica, which is probably the most exotic one. What was that? How was that different than everything else? Apart from the cold? Of course.

Melissa Corley Carter  34:17  
Yes, yes. Let's see it well, so for grace, this one was really special because we actually ran from the town of the plane of Marathon to Athens. So we ran the original marathon course. And so really running in the footsteps of history was a phenomenal it was it was just super inspiring. And, and as we were talking about a little bit before, it was just it was really I mean, I'm from Dallas, Texas and the United States and we had learned about you know, Greece and Ancient Greece in school and to go to Greece and and go through for instance the the Agora and there's a little sign that says Socrates walked here, and I mean, I'm sitting here like, wow, that's really cool. You don't see that every day. And and so So kind of seeing all those things that literally I had just learned about in books, but seeing them a book being at the Parthenon. And that was that was really special. It was it was really cool. So it was a great experience in Greece. Yeah, yeah. Antarctica was certainly an experience as well, you know, it was it was actually not as cold as I might have expected. We went at the end of February, which is the end of the Antarctic summer, so it was actually 40 degrees Fahrenheit, but it was 40 miles an hour wind, and it was raining, and it was muddy. And it was Rocky. And so we definitely, at least, I definitely felt like I had run in Antarctica. By the end of it, I was covered in mud, and it was, was really intense. And, and it was, it was also just sort of a surreal place to be in Antarctica, we ran on King George Island in the Peninsula, where there were different bases for different countries. So there was a Russian base and a Chilean base would have wion and in China, and we just kind of ran from base to base kind of running through all the countries you know, and several loop course. So we passed we passed you know, each other the fellow runners several times, and that was really nice for cheering each other on. But the just Antarctica in general, that was the race was sort of, you know, muddy and rainy and all that kind of thing. But then after that we were actually on a on a ship. So we had we had sailed across from Lucia via the tip of Argentina. And and the next day, we sort of we crossed the Bransfield Strait and woke up in you know, Penguin iceberg. Hey, heaven, you know, so just the, the icebergs, the sound of ice cracking, just being in this place, it was so pristine, that so few people have actually been was absolutely incredible. So that was another super unique, really phenomenal experience for sure you

Agi Keramidas  36:51  
have depicted in some of your photographs, which I'm saying, again, they are spectacular, very, very much enjoyed them. Melissa, there is one other question I wanted to, well, there are many, that's a lie. It's not just one of many that I wanted to ask you. But there was something in particular that intrigued me very much because of my own podcast, which is called personal development, mastery. And there was a comment, I don't remember if it was your website that I read it, you had made a comment about mastery of personal development and how it is learning that it is not something you can master it is the in a way, it's a contradiction. And I find this topic very fascinating. Because when I named my podcast two and a half years ago, like this, I thought it's a cool name. That's why I like that. And then I realised what was going on in the title mastery and the weight that it carried with it and the personal development. And I thought, how can I ever achieve personal development mastery and it scared me and then I came to some conclusion, similar to what you said that, because we're always growing with this master is understanding that we can't achieve the mastery of personal development. It's ongoing. So I wanted some comments from you on that.

Melissa Corley Carter  38:36  
I love it. I love it, though. And it's a great name, you know, I do I think that we are drawn to it because that's people want to feel like they have a sense that they that they have a sense of personal development and that they are on track you know, and and but but as you say, I do think that the mastery itself is learning and trusting that it is a process so so it's not it's not the finish line of a marathon it's it's the the hill at the top, you know that somewhere along the way in the marathon or preparing for the second marathon? Like you said, it's sort of a series of Marathon so it's, it's not something that will ever be finished. We are always growing and learning and we are works in progress. So there's so on the journey of mastery, it's really about the mastery itself is trusting bringing up the word mystery again, trusting in the mystery. That's what the mastery is learning how to dance with the universe and dance with life. Knowing that we don't know the answers, but we know how to go about being in such a way that we live in alignment with who we really are. So So mastery is not about achieving a certain number of degrees or, or whatever life successes of any kind and racking up the trophies as it were it's really about being able to be in the moment and be well As your own creative

Agi Keramidas  40:01  
process, thank you very much for that description. I like to you said dancing with the universe, it was so, so beautiful. Well, how you said? Thank you, Melissa, I would like to ask you also some quickfire questions to start wrapping the conversation up today. And the first one I always ask is, What does personal development mean to you?

Melissa Corley Carter  40:30  
To me, it means being who you are, and sort of like we were just talking about, I think, trusting that you're always learning and growing, that you're perfect, just as you are, but that there's always growth to be had. So it doesn't mean that you're failing in some way or that you're not good enough already, we have plenty of not good enough stories, right? But but so let go of the not good enough story and allow yourself to just grow and have fun with it.

Agi Keramidas  40:57  
And let me ask you a hypothetical question. If you could go back in time and meet your 18 year olds, 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you'd give

Melissa Corley Carter  41:06  
her? You know, this is an interesting question. I think I because I, I truly believe that every experience happens for a reason and shapes us into who we are. So I don't want to give her too much information. But But I would say you are absolutely on the right path. You are powerful, special and unique. And you have the power to create your own future. So I do. Yeah, anyway, I'll just pause there, you have the power to create your future and boldly go into that future.

Agi Keramidas  41:42  
That's great. And I'm always find it very important to give to the listeners, something actionable, which I believe we already have so far. But if you are now to give to the listener, one more action of light and more something maybe that we've said earlier on something they can implement to, you know, grow and change. What would you tell them?

Melissa Corley Carter  42:12  
Yes, great question. I think this comes back a little bit to the crossroads and thinking about life purpose. And, uh, you know, I think a lot of times we feel pressure to define our life purpose is something that we do, but love to me life purpose is really about being your full self. So your purpose is to be who you are, is to be the fullest expression of you, it's not about what you do, that sometimes adds an additional layer of stress, like, well, I don't know what that means. So so what I would suggest to anybody sort of seeking personal development and what you know, what does really light them up, I would say, take 10 minutes, you know, set a timer for 10 minutes and do something that really brings you joy, and just have fun with it take, you know, 10 minutes out of your day, which you probably spend on Facebook, you know, like, take that 10 minutes for yourself. And it could be you know, it could be going for a quick walk or just stepping outside and feeling the sun on your face. It could be putting on some music and dancing around to it could be reading a passage from a favourite book or whatever it is, you know, if it's say you want to go skiing, but you know you don't live by a snowy mountain and you only have 10 minutes. Maybe sit and visualise yourself skiing and and see it and feel it what is the feeling it would bring you coming back to the feeling is what we're going for. It's not a goal itself. So the point of all this is to get out of your head about what should I do with my life? Or what is my purpose and to get into your body and really feel what brings you joy, because you being in your joy is your life purpose. And that's what actually helps the entire world because it raises the consciousness and the vibration of the planet. So that's something you can make progress on today. And also it doesn't have to be that giant leap like quitting your job it can be how do I bring 10 minutes of joy into my day today?

Agi Keramidas  44:03  
Thanks very much. You said what brings you joy, ease your life purpose, and I completely will agree with that. Melissa, what is the best place for people to connect with you and find out more about you and also share with us about your coaching? Who do you coach and what it is that you help

Melissa Corley Carter  44:26  
them with? Yes, absolutely. So my website is resilience actually.com You can find me there. And then I'm also on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn at Melissa Corley Carter. So those are all places you can find me. And as far as coaching, I work with big dreamers and high achievers who have a big dream burning inside and maybe it's feels kind of too wild and crazy. Maybe the world says it's impossible. Maybe you've had a you know a door close in your face and you might be afraid to dream big again. Or maybe you've achieved all of your Are goals sort of maybe sooner than you expect and you're ready to plan for phase two or three. So so really helping people get get get move past those existential things that might be blocking them from from really living their most profound aligned powerful and purposeful life. It's a really, really just aligning with your true purpose for which is being you.

Agi Keramidas  45:24  
I think that theme has been in our conversation all along this thing of this purpose. Maybe not. It was sadly at times, but I think it's been throughout the conversation. So I want to thank you very much for your time today for sharing your wisdom your wonderful experiences. With me today. I want to wish you all the very best any last parting words?

Melissa Corley Carter  45:56  
Thank you so much Agi for your time and sharing your experiences it has been an absolute joy and what I my last words would be you don't need to run a marathon on all seven continents to have an epic life. You are already powerful, special and unique and you are here to make a difference not by what you do but by being you. Thank you so much Agi.

Agi Keramidas  46:21  
I hope you enjoyed listening and that you got a huge amount of value from today's episode. If you have, please share this episode with someone who you think will benefit from it. If you want to know more about what I do, visit my website, AGIKERAMIDAS.COM          

  And until next time, stand out, don't fit in!